2 bit himborb, cofounder @ vibecamp, hwo
nyc babyyy
- Tweets 30,087
- Following 2,309
- Followers 2,653
- Likes 315,965
my name is will stancil and i can be found at all hours in my apartment the door is unlocked
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flirting a bit w my seat neighbor at this wedding and she suddenly says "wow you mask really well" like damn wtf bro how'd you clock me
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women will never understand what it's like to get free drinks from the bartender just for being a fun guy to talk to
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a girlfriend is just an extremely controlling, neurotic, abusive mother that you choose
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men adopt dogs when they're single to experience being loved
white women adopt dogs when they're single to *violently pulled off stage*
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derek i like u man but a good dinner is not 25$ in sf. like sit-down, app.+ entree without drink is 50ish
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other side of "why didn't they teach us this in school" but it's the same ppl saying ut
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i think the funnier one is “women can tell if you recently jerked off” bc like youre not asking that to confirm
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> wear my excision sweatshirt to lunch
> cute server recognizes and compliments it
> is flirty throughout lunch
> she's a server that's her job orb
> tells me about a concert tonight
> eh fuck it, write my number on the receipt
> she texts me
wtf it's that easy?
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*licking the sweat off an egirl* there is communion everywhere for those with the tongue to taste
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told my woke girlfriend to flag down a waiter at a restaurant and she said theyre called "person of waiting" now
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got a 50$ ticket for drinking on the subway and killed the claw in front of the cops while they were writing it. @nedsore watched apparently im a real new yorker now
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i fucked up my first order in german due to nerves, ‘can i a dark beer please’ and the poor server just says yes you can dark beer
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based on everything ive seen, incl the atc comms w heli, i think it was heli's fault, at the least not the commercial pilots'
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walk 8 miles. do hiit. run some more. hit zone 5 til your chest hurts. hit abs then lift. sear a mantra into your brain. make the light in your eyes burn
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girl asked me if i always cut into a grid before eating and then "there's something wrong with you but in such a cute way" 🥹
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you're literally shinji and you won't understand or be able to argue that w/o watching it
(this is a weeb insult, you're devastated rn)
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hi it is me orb it is my bbirthdorb!! i am twenty nikne years old i was NOT #hacked (left laptorb open around gf) by a super smart awesome pperson EVERYONE SAY HAPPPY BIRTHDAY !! I LORB YOU OK BAIIII <3 <3<3 <3
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listening to a group of apparently sober very loud girls at brunch go from discussing should i fuck a guy if he buys me a birkin to "i think people who shop designer are really new money... like they're not real wealth" then go on to admit they can't afford designer
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women love it when you notice things about them, but hate it when you notice things about society
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i never look at the price tag when im buying my girl something because im using her card
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"is pegasus poultry or red meat?" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
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every time she's backing up her prius and puts her arm around me in the passenger seat i leak a little 💯
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not only will san francisco never be rebuilt w newsom in power if the tsunami hits, if it's taller than 5' it'll take out all the founding engineers too
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pretended to be on a bad first date w hero at a restaurant and ik it worked bc the waitress was like "so do you want to split the check?"
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someone just tried to mansplain shibari to me at the japanese speakeasy. who the fuck do you think i am
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it finally happened last night, gave someone my phone to follow them and i had them blocked 😅
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