JD, MD, PhD. Noble Prize winner. World's top expert on Freddy-Kruger Effect.
711 Parking Lot
- Tweets 65,358
- Following 2,820
- Followers 1,249
- Likes 461,730
COVID relief funds basically being a candy bowl with a "just take one" sign then the government years later gulaging anyone who didn't follow the honor system is a testament to the beauty and power of the administrative state. I love it.
Miami real estate broker who used $381K in COVID relief funds on Bentley, luxe apartment, gets 3.5 behind bars trib.al/iJOkZjw
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There has never been anyone closer to getting it who will never get it than Romney. Physicists must study how objects can be so close without touching to gain deeper understanding of subatomic forces.
GOP Senator Mitt Romney: “70% of Republicans still say that Donald Trump won...Are we going to abandon truth to that degree? It’s absolutely absurd...
Actually, most of the evidence I’ve seen so far has been Republicans trying to corrupt the election.”
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It's going to be a nailbiter election between the only candidate who could lose to Trump and the only candidate who could lose to Biden.
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I have a much more advanced solution. My Urban Mobility Pods offer greater capacity and throughput and are advanced enough to operate on existing roadways. And at only $5 million each they're a steal compared to the boring company's offerings.
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Romney: "Every Republican I've ever met is an evil stupid crook trying to make the world worse. Which confuses me because they are the good guys."
Me, studying the particles he's emitting: "Fascinating"
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apologies for the blatantly mean tweet but THIS is what AOC's boyfriend looks like? incredible scenes, truly representing all the ambitious and stunning millenial women shackled to boyfriends who look like bin raccoons out there
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Going to continue having a good time until I have an extremely bad time for 0.4 milliseconds.
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"I AM RETHINKING MY COMMITMENT TO ORLANDO!" I shout as security drags me out of the Disney hotel tiki bar for making the waitresses uncomfortable.
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Murder
How to murder
How to murder and get away with it
What to do with a body
How to get rid of body
Easy fast blood cleanup
How to delete Google history
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2018's sexiest man alive is "the men and women in uniform who've died defending our country".
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One more layer of scrap metal will totally stop a javelin, trust me bro. Just one more layer of scrap metal.
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Landlords have never lived through a period of falling rents before. It's incomprehensible to them.
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Do you really think they accidentally did a precision strike on the car with the giant logo on top that they were given the location of and notified was full of aid workers? If so, I've got a bridge to sell you.
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I cannot overstate how important it is to pack a snack if you are planning on trying to get through the Donner Pass in the next few days.
This is the first time I can ever recall seeing the National Weather Service forecast FOUR major mountain passes in California to see over 100 inches of snow from one storm.
Just humongous snow totals.
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I thought when called 911 the police would just do nothing, turns out they immediately start using witchcraft to frame you for murder.
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Seems like it's either 20 or 80 depending where you work. And the 20 hour a week place definitely pays better.
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Tom Steyer is single handedly restoring faith in democracy by proving that votes can't be bought.
Tom Steyer ALONE has aired more than THREE TIMES as many ads as those aired by/for all other Democratic candidates COMBINED.
And that was as of last week. fivethirtyeight.com/features…
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It's basically physical crypto currency except you're using a printer to expend paper and ink instead of a computer to expend electricity.
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I think my favorite example from @mathbabedotorg's book was a tech company who used AI to screen resumes based on who they'd hired in the past and it determined being named Jared and playing lacrosse were the biggest success factors.
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Don't speak a word of Spanish and have no idea who this guy is or what he represents, but I will now immediately be moving to Chile and getting citizenship so I can vote for him.
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Why is he dressed like he's hosting a to-the-death Kung Fu tournament on his private island?
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Is "libertarian development" the kind of development that's not allowed within 500 feet of a school?
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Charles Barkley having a show on CNN feels like something that would be used to deliver exposition in a shark movie.
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Out there clearing a blocked sewer line with my friends. Loving every second. Just doing it for the thrill.
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Fun fact: this guy flies his private jet like 400 miles to go to the only barber willing to do this to his hair.
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I hate it when I go on a Moscow dive bar crawl and the Soviets use their brain laser to make me dizzy and nauseous the next day.
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My daylight savings proposal: 6am sunrise and 7pm sunset every day year round. Adjust the length of hours by day and location. My plan is the only one that would create hundreds of thousands of good paying computer programming jobs to implement.
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One of my company's H1Bs from India got stuck in Mexico for 6 months when we went down there for a conference and the US wouldn't let him back in. He has a wife and kids here and doesn't speak Spanish.
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People were so racist in the 50s because these were triggering the "gamer" portion of the brain.
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Open? Beta behavior. If women aren't approaching you, you must do more to demonstrate your alpha status:
Stop masturbating
Stop slouching
Stop bathing
Stop washing your clothes
Stop eating anything but raw beef
Stop sleeping
Stop taking your medications
They will come to you.
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"HE might be able to get it up if SHE wasn't depressed all the time."
"Well maybe SHE wouldn't be depressed if HE could get it up!"
Introducing The New Couples Pack
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You don't pay $30 for a Soul Cycle class to get a workout on a bicycle, you pay it to not get hit by a car.
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I've never had a car stop from running out of gas. It's a scam. Open your eyes. Cars don't need gas. You can drive forever on E.
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These folks have problems with more than two genders but split hairs between like 20 kinds of Nazism.
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Everyone was talking about Oprah running for president, but no one talks about the president running for Oprah.
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I assume that's when everyone figured out that the media was almost universally lying about Iraq.
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Just want to remind folks the original Havana Syndrome guy self-diagnosed because he felt dizzy and nauseous after going out bar hopping with Russians.
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