this app is a dump - find me elsewhere • lycan sub scribe • international bestselling pervert • writer linktr.ee/meakoopa
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There are few love stories in the holy books. Love is what ruins. Love is what costs. Love is a flaming sword at our backs, a garden left to ruin and to wild.
The DAYSPRING audiobook is on sale now. dayspringbook.com
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when i bought my giant crystal ball the lady looked me in the eye and said "whatever you do, never EVER leave it uncovered when youre not home" and i said "oh wow because of spirits?" and she said "what? no bc if the sun hits it weird it'll burn down your house"
important lesson
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i love that people are mad at Robert Pattinson for using his time preparing to play Bruce Wayne by becoming a beautiful weird recluse who everyone resents for his idle privilege
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i find modern sound mixes so bad that i have the subtitles on with the remote in hand to constantly turn DOWN the sudden volume spikes then crank it back UP again when people talk in a muddled whisper
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yesterday i talked to a guy for twenty minutes and then i asked him what he does for a living and he went “...Anthony, it’s me, [drag queen i hang out with all the time]” and that’s how I know superhero identities 100% would work
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twitter is a fun app where you log in in the mid-afternoon and then spend twenty minutes assembling enough context clues to figure out what all your friends are mad at
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this song is about men fucking each other at the gym
Dallas, Texas crowd is getting ready for @realDonaldTrump with a little YMCA ‼️
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JK Rowling is suddenly extremely worried that trans rights will mean lesbians will be erased so i did a quick google to see how many pages the Harry Potter books are and it’s 4224 pages and then i googled how many lesbians are in it and
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sorry which stadium was that again
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"I texted this boy I like but I used a semi-colon as a power move and I think I scared him off" - my sister, 25
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this is very funny because all else aside if it was Goliath the forehead would be smashed in. Like that is the one thing we know. About Goliath.
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“you can skip the first season” ok well i probably won’t bc I have never done that and also no one has ever done that,
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The Church of England announced on Wednesday that it will not allow same-sex couples to marry in its churches and that its teachings that marriage is between “one man and one woman for life” would not change. wapo.st/3iTY52m
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nothing worse than getting a little sun and feeling better and realizing I have the mental complexity of a daisy
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when I toured the catacombs in Paris at the end they check your bag and I asked how often someone tries to steal something and without looking up the guard said “a skull a day” and i am still alarmed
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sorry but this is very funny bc Macbeth's first scene in MACBETH is literally him and Banquo asking the witches their pronouns
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still really wild that Starbucks built its brand on ~artisanal cozy vibes~ and now it feels like you’re in there to get a blood test
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a bunny keeps stealing my cilantro, but the joke is on him because i love him and want him to be happy
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in STARSHIP TROOPERS (1997) the use of combat veterans as school teachers is how the movie signals its society has become irredeemably broken and cartoonishly fascist
.@GovDeSantis on recruiting veterans to the teaching field: "Our veterans have a wealth of knowledge and experience they can bring to bear in the classroom. [...] For too long, the requirements to be a teacher have been too rigid." trib.al/1bPu78k
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you can write for a hundred years and still not come up with a sentence as dystopian as “the vaccine is patented”
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movie pitch: this exact headline without the first four words
The Actor Who Played Robocop Is Now an Art Historian, and He’s Returning to Detroit With a New Mission: Renaissance Art artnt.cm/2nEBbfq
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if i wrote a comic in which a character was the heir to an apartheid emerald mine my editor would cross it out as too cartoonishly malevolent
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is it possible that queer representation is not in fact a great passion of hers after all
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what a way to learn that I have no idea how big a wombat is
Apparently wombats in fire effected areas are not only allowing other animals to take shelter in their deep, fire-resistant burrows but are actively herding fleeing animals into them.
We’re seeing more leadership and empathy from these guys than the entire Federal government.
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i wrote about what it was like sitting in the trial of the serial killer who had murdered my friends’s loved ones and amid the nightmares and vomiting I had six months of something called a “murderino” @-ing me in posts about how “fun” “this one” would be for them
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*my pupils widen until the whole globe of my eye is just an inky pool of black into which i sink like a deep and dreamless sea*
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my dad ordered a sandwich and then a raccoon opened the bag on the porch and ate it so he ordered another sandwich but the restaurant assumed it was a mistake and didn’t make it so he got charged twice for a sandwich that he watched a raccoon eat
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a wealthy ruler who throws a big party in his huge mansion during an epidemic for his asymptomatic friends while the peasants die and then the virus shows up and tears through his fancy guests is beat for beat the plot of Edgar Allan Poe’s “Masque of the Red Death”
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You permanently suspended my account on the anniversary of the Pulse massacre because you decided i was too mean to people trying to declare it "Straight Pride Day."
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“I am being silenced” says man whose face and voice I have to see and hear every goddamned day against my will across a suite of apps and media platforms
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everyone said Pride was cancelled this year but honestly it’s the best fucking one I’ve ever seen
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the coronavirus emptying the stadiums and turned professional wrestling's high-octane zaniness into a taut and terrifyingly tense Beckett play
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is this the world's only good dad ???
I [45M] Walked in on son [16M] having gay sex and he's become quite awkward and distant. buff.ly/2Q1njee
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lord grant me the supreme blowhard confidence to explain Catholicism to the actual Pope
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"who is the target audience??"is such a hilariously straight white dude way to say "wait am *I* not the target audience???"
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“like” and “um” are verbal cues that “this briefest of pauses is not the end of my thought” so they actually increase in the presence of a person you think will cut you off
guess which group does the most cutting off and so hears them the most !!
u kno when u were like 15 and u were talking to any adult man and you would say "like" in between a couple words and hed immediately start mocking your entire speech pattern and be like "like oh em gee lipgloss twilight!!" and you weren't allowed to punch him at all
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Blake Shelton is not even the sexiest:
1) Gwen Stefani spouse (Gavin Rossdale)
2) country singer (Steve Grand)
3) Voice guy (Adam Levine)
4) Blake (Blake Lively)
5) Racist (Dean Cain)
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i bought three sets of vegan shoes a few months ago to be a good person and let me tell you it turns out MEAT is an important aspect of a functional shoe
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sometimes people are like "do you know [person's] work?" and i am like "no" but then i look them up on twitter and it's like "oh you mean squiggly cat icon yes we've been friends for ten years"
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[turns pockets inside out; two moths fly out]
oh no my moths
By 35, you should have twice your salary saved, according to retirement experts: on.mktw.net/2Gb4UDC
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if you think Richard Spencer’s coked-out cobra commander rant is offensive waitll you hear all the things he calmly said right to your stupid fucking faces on camera while you kept fawning over his fucking suits
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"I have nothing left to lose so I will say it: This is white supremacy's last stand." This clip sums up #ElectionNight.
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hi everyone - a government that denies its prisoners the right to vote is a government that now has an extremely vested interest in jailing its political opposition
thank you to coming to this, the literal first class of Civics 101
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we need to talk about extremely basic media literacy not like nuance but fully like “what am i looking at when i open the app” literacy bc i have counted 72 boomers in the replies thanking me for my service
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rowling being like “you know who else i hate? GAYS” truly the twist everyone saw coming lol
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he caused an AIDS outbreak and believes gay people should be electrocuted til they're "cured" what the fuck is wrong w you people
The liberal case for President Pence: "Mediocre and conservative beats vile and crazy" bloom.bg/2uSa2Yl
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Martin Shkreli shamelessly exploited and mocked people with AIDS and if I could wear his tears he shed in that courtroom in a vial around my neck i'd spend whole afternoons idly dandling it by a silver chain and watching it catch the glint of the midsummer sun
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bitch me too you ain't special
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i have a degree in baroque art and i spend half my time in galleries on my phone
compare contemporaries, check bios, insta the work, or just USE YOUR PHONE bc art is made to hang out w u while u go about the business of your life, and make its mundanities more beautiful
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students should not plagiarize otherwise they will end up being professors of law at harvard with millions of followers and book deals a dangerous lesson for us all
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this is like when that lady ruined that painting of Jesus except this time I actually care
All the classic Simpsons episodes on Disney+ are in cropped widescreen format -- this means you miss out on tons of great visual jokes, like how Duff, Duff Lite and Duff Dry all come from the same tube.
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so...a normal haircut, then?
socialism doesn't mean "let's all squat in the dirt eating worms" it means "no one gets to be a god-king floating atop a billion-dollar raft they can never spend in a thousand lifetimes while people die without medicare or food"
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i want to meet the person who looked at this and decided his most distinguishing feature was his white brows??
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The Church of England is the established Christian church in England.
Our roots go back to the time of the Roman Empire, when the church came into existence in what was then the province of Britain.
Find out more about our history at cofe.io/OurHistory.
ALT the interior of Liverpool cathedral, with stained glass windows
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remember how we found out the President of the United States and his Vice-President joke about hanging gay ppl today and nobody cared at all
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Reminder that @Twitter knows who the white supremacist accounts are and censors them in countries like Germany where hate speech laws are enforced, and they just don’t do that here or in the US because they want the engagements.
Love to the families and friends of the victims of this act of terrorism in Christchurch New Zealand. This is sickening and affects all of us.
launchgood.com/project/suppo…
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hi I’m Natalie Portman
and I’m Timothee Chalamet
Avian Bone Syndrome affects dozens of beautiful people a year
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i am tired of a world where we all have to sit seething in a bath of racist poison because it is generating ad revenue
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hey quick question what do you think they did with the bones of mary magdalene
if you guessed “probably something extremely normal” unfortunately you guessed wrong
ALT The reliquary of the skull of Mary magdalene - a baroque showcase with a spidery body and opening case
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and i don't want to legally be fired in 28 US states for being gay, but
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funniest possible religion to take this stance actually
Pope in major policy address calls for universal ban on surrogacy, says it exploits mother and child trib.al/4faaL1k
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this tweet should probably go in textbooks: 3 sentences, laid back to back, by the same publication
and ask students to note which use the active and which the passive voice
Minneapolis: A photographer was shot in the eye.
Washington, D.C.: Protesters struck a journalist with his own microphone.
Louisville: A reporter was hit by a pepper ball on live television by an officer who appeared to be aiming at her. nyti.ms/2ZYDFtv
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some of you are confused about the foot situation but the short guy code does not apply to Nazis - this man is wearing the cheapest secret heels on the market and the front is curling because he’s gone too ambitious and the whole front is empty
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3rd horseman is commonly called Famine, but he specifically does NOT blight crops, does not damage food. His weapon is the scales, and "destroys" not by weather or worm, but market manipulation.
A closer name might be "Inflation" or "Capital" or "Bread Fixing" or "Galen Weston."
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“how do people not recognize Batman when half his face is showing”
i have stood 4 feet from a queen for half an hour and not recognized her bc she drew her brows different that day your brain’s facial recognition software is GARBAGE
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the first year of quarantine was hard but now that the parts of me that felt things are all dead I think we are headed into some real smooth sailing
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overheating at this function but cannot take off my sweater bc my t-shirt says “JAKE GYLLENHAAL BOTTOMED FOR OUR SINS”
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ive been working on these 95 theses for months and the bishop of rome just...tweeted it out
Pope says Catholics who can’t go to confession can ask God directly for forgiveness - cruxnow.com/vatican/2020/03/…
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