writing and editing things. now: @meta, formerly @buzzfeednews, @wsj, @ft, views always my own, etc

Replying to @tomgara
You can find me on the other place, although I may lose my willpower and come back here. Crazy to think I’ve been posting furiously here for 15 years! Changed my life! Shaped my whole career! I love so many of you and will miss it!
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A tragic airplane moment: we’ve been sitting on the tarmac waiting to take off for two hours. The guy in front of us fell asleep immediately upon boarding, he just woke up and started getting ready to get off the plane - he thought we’d landed. My wife broke the news to him.
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A man sued his employer for racial discrimination, settled the suit, took the settlement check to the bank to cash it, then the bank didn't believe the check was real and called the cops on him, leading to another racial discrimination lawsuit freep.com/story/news/local/m…
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I’ve heard from a lot of liberals tonight who feel completely owned by this, they say it’s the most defeated they’ve felt since November 2016. Their worst fear, the thing that will own them the most, is if Trump supporters everywhere start doing this all the time
Trump wears a mask for the first time in public during a visit to a military hospital nitter.app/i/events/1282077091970…
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This discussion between a Google engineer and their conversational AI model helped cause the engineer to believe the AI is becoming sentient, kick up an internal shitstorm and get suspended from his job. And it is absolutely insane. washingtonpost.com/technolog…
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Honestly, this creates an incredible legacy moment for Biden. He now gets to appoint a new Try Guy, meaning a full 1/4 of all the Try Guys will be Biden appointees
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It’s pretty simple: Google Meet (original) was previously Meet, which was the rebranded Hangouts Meet. Meet has been merged with Google Duo, which replaced Google Hangouts. Google Duo has been renamed Meet, and Meet has been temporarily named Google Meet (original), for clarity
someone get the PMs under control at google
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My friend's toddler babbled "don't forget to subscribe" as he was put to bed. Kid watches so much YouTube he thought it means "goodbye"
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Incredible story. USC offers a minor in “resistance to genocide”, this girl minored in it, was named valedictorian, and then they cancelled her speech because she might talk about genocide
USC announced that valedictorian Asna Tabassum’s commencement speech has been canceled, stating it was “necessary to maintain the safety of our campus and students” ‘I am surprised that my own university has abandoned me,’ Tabassum said in a statement uscannenbergmedia.com/2024/0…
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It’s fair to assume there’s cameras everywhere now, but I’ve gotta admit: if you asked me to guess how good the night vision camera coverage of the audience at a Beetlejuice the musical show in Denver would be, I probably wouldn’t have guessed this good
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The former principal of Columbine High just said something incredibly grim on CNN - he’s part of a network of 29 school principals who had mass shootings at their schools, and they work to support principals of schools where new mass shootings happen
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The Elon news is crowding out a significantly funnier story: Russia staged a fake bust of alleged Ukrainian Nazi assassins, and the guy tasked with assembling the paraphernalia for the photo bought three copies of The Sims instead of three SIM cards nypost.com/2022/04/25/russia…
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Jesus Christ the footage in this
Israel-Gaza: 400,000 residents ordered to leave Khan Younis
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This is just completely different from what they quote him saying in the article, it’s really obviously straightforward lying
REVEALED: Dr. Anthony Fauci confesses he 'made up' covid rules including 6 feet social distancing and masking kids trib.al/jeZvgoI
Community note
This headline is misleading. Dr Fauci did not confess to "making up" COVID rules. He stated that he could not recall the first mention of the "6ft rule" but discussed the area of spray of a sneeze as a logical part of that discussion. oversight.house.gov/wp-content/upl
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A billionaire tagging the Treasury Secretary in their post about ordering a $14 room service orange juice at a five star hotel in Manhattan is the kind of high level posting you simply can't get on any other platform, and likely never will.
Terrible Inflation milestone reached - My first $85 breakfast for one at a NYC hotel. After signing this bill, I have decided NEVER AGAIN. #Biden #Inflation @SecYellen @federalreserve
Community note
Items on this receipt match the menu for room service at the Carlyle Hotel, a 5-star hotel where the lowest rate on their website ranges from $954 (including a $35 breakfast coupon) to $6,244 after fees for a room tonight. rosewoodhotels.com/en/the-carlyle… reservations.rosewoodhotels.com/?adult=1&arriv
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Most lucid political thought I've read this week came from guy who got suspended from Twitter for sexually harassing a cartoon cereal mascot
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David Brooks is getting cooked on Facebook by an airport bar and grill, social media's best days are still ahead
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They should do this as a segment at the Oscars, like the In Memoriam thing
From Dr. Seuss to Chrissy Teigen: The stars who got canceled in 2021 trib.al/upawLwb
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How disconnected from adult life / employment / wages etc do you have to be to think that roughnecks on oil rigs make $17 an hour
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Spare a thought for Khashoggi's son, banned from leaving Saudi Arabia, who had to go and do this today
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This article is so much funnier in the context of knowing the author withdrew her life savings from the bank and then put it into a shoebox and gave it to a random dude on the street who she believed was a CIA agent
I’m so fr some of you need to grow a spine
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My wife has been binge watching entire seasons of Survivor, it’s really an incredible historical archive of the last 25 years. You see these samples of relatively normie Americans evolve over the years from talking like Chandler to talking in therapist speak etc
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A brief Googling suggests Rishi Sunak, Emmanuel Macron, Olof Scholz, Vladimir Putin and Volodymyr Zelensky are all 5'7, it's an unprecedented consolidation of European power in the hands of short kings
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There was a time when mostly-normal-fingered American men used to drive to work using their necktie as a seatbelt. But those days are long gone. Your country was taken from you
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And remember that a 5 in NYC would be an 8 almost anywhere else in the country
NEW YORK (AP) — Earthquake shakes New York City area with preliminary magnitude of 4.8, officials say.
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What a wild story: a prisoner serving 39 years to life started making drawings of golf courses. The drawings made their way to Golf Digest, which wrote about him, then realized his conviction was sketchy, then investigated, and now he's free golfdigest.com/story/for-val…
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To illustrate a grossly racist story about British Muslims, two UK newspapers took a stock photo from Dubai and photoshopped on a face veil.
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Extraordinary photo from Gaza on the front page of The Guardian today - six year old Suzy Eshkuntana pulled alive from the rubble 7 hours after an Israeli air strike that killed her mom and all four of her siblings
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You can shoot up heroin in public, toss the needle into the street and then take a shit on it, but God help you if you try to drink iced coffee with a straw afterward
#BREAKING: San Francisco leaders vote unanimously to ban plastic straws, single-use foodware. abc7ne.ws/2v0Yhjp
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Have now been on tarmac for two and a half hours, and he went back to sleep - real glutton for punishment
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I got vaccinated at the new FEMA site in Brooklyn today, and one thing I didn’t expect was just how good it would feel seeing the kind of mass public mobilization that’s been missing for the last year
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There’s abundant documentation that Israel is starving Palestinian war prisoners and it’s just like….not a story. You see tweets about it, and that’s it. The lack of reporting is stunning
Palestinian Alaa El-Jabari was detained for eight months from his hometown in the West Bank. Here is a picture of before and after. Palestinian detainees are enduring torture and lack of access to food and medicine, which can be seen on their faces and bodies.
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There was a video a few days ago where a man in Gaza found a small boy sleeping in the middle of a road at night, he picked him up and took him somewhere safe and the boy told him all his family were killed and he slept on the unlit road in the hope someone would run him over
Doctors Without Borders says children as young as 5 in Gaza have told them they want to die
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I will pay a $44.95 one-time fee to read 8,000 deeply reported words on the Four Seasons Total Landscaping story. If the Philly Enquirer does it I’ll take out a one-year subscription. I will support whatever business model that produces this story.
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Employee: So I’ve been thinking, my job can be done from anywhere, would it be OK if I moved to North Carolina? Boss: Actually that’s a great point, your job *can* be done from anywhere. But I’m thinking more of a Bangalore sort of vibe? wsj.com/articles/next-wave-o…
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At least six instantly iconic lines in this post. The recent International Ape Workshop in Miami. My kids know me as this ape. Unfortunately, what blur is doing to apes is frankly unacceptable. A notarised letter begging Pacman to stop this nonsense at once.
It is with a heavy heart I announce the sale of my long term ape, Salazar. Most of my early followers know me as this ape. My kids know me as this ape. I met my wife when I WAS this ape and had my first kid when I was still proudly wore this ape. By extension, it is part of me. I travelled around the world with this ape in my pocket. We went to the most luxurious hotels, the craziest night clubs and the most serene beaches. We had it all. Unfortunately, what blur is doing to apes is frankly unacceptable. Since the creation of Blur, the ape floor price has tumbled from 85e down to 12e. Two weeks ago myself and around 15 other high ranking ape members gathered at the recent International Ape Workshop in Miami, and on behalf of the community we wrote and delivered a notarised letter begging Pacman to stop this nonsense at once. We outlined three key terms the apes were demanding of Pacman: 1.) Effective immediately, blur should be shut down and all NFT collections affected should be refunded a part of their floor price at the time blur was created 2.) A written apology to @yugalabs and the community 3.) Sell all remilia assets held by ANY members of the blur team and publicly denounce @CharlotteFang77 As of today, March 28, 2024, Pacman has refused to acknowledge our letter. I have no choice but to sell my ape and retrieve some form of financial value before it trends to zero. Thankyou to everyone in the ape family who has been sending me messages over these last few days. I love you all. I hope one day we meet on the other side, until then, goodbye.
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Incredibly dark story coming out this morning: a burns doctor at Gaza’s biggest hospital worked the last seven days straight, went home to see his family today and was killed alongside them in an air strike on his house
The Israelis killed our colleague and our Dr Midhat Saidam with 30 of his family members when they targeted their home. He was a great Plastic surgeon and a lovely man. I have known since the 2009 war. We worked together in the 2014.
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The $800 an hour lawyer tasked by Bill Ackman to find holes in MIT's circa 2009 plagiarism policy and who came back with "it doesn't specifically say you can't plagiarize Wikipedia" is an icon to his profession
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A teen hacked Nvidia, got arrested, was released on bail under police supervision. Police confiscated his laptop and put him in a motel room. He then used the Amazon fire stick connected to his motel room TV to hack Rockstar and steal GTA 6 clips bbc.com/news/technology-6766…
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Someone at Apple should go to jail for this specific dialog box
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WSJ calls out ProPublica for deploying harmful wealthist language against plus sized yachts. wsj.com/articles/clarence-th…
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Teens think they have an all-purpose insult for uncool people over 30 with "OK boomer", but little do they know uncool people over 30 are about to deploy our most devastating weapon against it: ruthlessly appropriating it until it's cringingly uncool to say it in any circumstance
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IMO George Santos's funniest scam was buying puppies from Amish farms in Pennsylvania using bounced cheques and then fencing them through his fake animal rescue charity in New York. Nobody else is operating at that level.
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Michael Flynn & son bumbling around Pennsylvania trying to kidnap a Turkish preacher has shot to the top of the Trump-era Coen Brothers movies
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Left the house just now and shocking to see that outside agitators appear to have brought their tactical grade insurgency equipment to our block
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Secondary highlight here is Bill Maher appears to have no idea there was a stock crash and near-miss financial markets meltdown in early 2020 and borderline mocks his guest for claiming that it happened
Must watch clip of @krystalball on how media condemns the poor for getting a tiny bit of cash but ignores the rich getting trillions. Such a horrid double standard that rich people (Bill Maher) have completely wiped billionaire bailouts from their memories nitter.app/TheEmoDragon/status/15…
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It's the pinnacle of private equity brain to take Instant Pot, one of the the simplest, most no-drama businesses of all time, and somehow turn it into a $500 million bankruptcy wsj.com/articles/instant-pot…
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Just remember: the digger won
This is officially the most accurate boat meme.
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Shocking footage here - very clear documentation of troops opening fire on unarmed civilians right in front of a TV news crew filming them
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The greatest Egyptian magical realism in the news this week: Egypt's electricity ministry cut off power at the water ministry building because it hasn't paid it's bills. So the water ministry disconnected the water at the electricity ministry.
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NY Mag's personal finance columnist was convinced by a cold caller claiming to be a CIA agent in Langley that she needed to empty her bank account, put the money in a shoebox and give it to a guy coming to meet her on the street. thecut.com/article/amazon-sc…
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Last week the NY Post ran a story about homeless veterans being kicked out of hotels to make way for asylum seekers—but they were actually men picked up from a local homeless shelter and paid to pretend they were veterans who'd been kicked out of a hotel midhudsonnews.com/2023/05/19…
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This is amazing because there’s a deep and long-running meme on Egyptian social media of calling Sisi “the Mexican”. I’ll let the leadership of Egyptian Twitter explain the details, but this is a real gift for them
Biden just referred to Sisi as the president of Mexico, not the president of Egypt.
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Nobody even bothers pretending these are actually secret terror headquarters anymore, it's just accepted as the standard operating procedure to destroy any vaguely functional hospital
Amid heavy artillery shelling, patients, the injured, and medical crews were forced to evacuate Kamal Adwan Hospital in the northern Gaza Strip after Israeli warplanes bombed one of the hospital's buildings.
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This is the thing about America: if you can develop -*and scale* a better chicken tender, you will become richer than the royal family of Monaco
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If I was an investor I'd simply buy the stocks now, and sell them again when the price is higher
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I hate it when the media masses 100,000 troops on the Ukrainian border
There is nothing more grotesque than a media pushing for war.
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One of the most most horrific things to happen in the last decade was a coalition of the world's richest countries spent years bombing one of the poorest countries in the world into rubble
Incredible footage out of Yemen
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Something so surreal about seeing ethnic cleansing documented in high definition digital video
What is daily life like for Palestinians in the occupied West Bank as Israeli settler violence continues to rise during the ongoing war? Witness an Israeli land grab and watch West Bank: Family Under Fire to find out more: aje.io/WestBank
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Randomly on this subject, my (Egyptian) wife had never heard of Stonehenge when I mentioned it recently, so I showed her photos of it, assuming she’d recognize the look but not the name etc, and she was just like, this is pathetic, your ancestors were small and weak
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You pretend to be Banksy on Twitter.
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The banking culture of insane hours is so bizarre and obviously cruel / unhealthy, but it's also just kind of pathetic cosplay by management? There is no possible universe where an associate could have enough urgent work to require 18 hours a day, seven days a week, for a month.
I was going to joke about this protest, until I searched Twitter and found out a BofA associate just died after working four consecutive 120-hour weeks. The guy is apparently former military, with a wife and kid. Life is too precious for this shit. Rest in peace, brother.
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I’m going to make a blind bet here and then check if I’m right: I bet what actually happened is private equity guys loaded Red Lobster with billions in debt and it’s debt servicing that is bankrupting them, not losing money on shrimp
Red Lobster Chain Goes Bankrupt After Unlimited Shrimp Deal bloomberg.com/news/articles/…
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Plastic recycling being essentially a lie is probably a top five scandal of my lifetime
Actually I was reading the book "A Poison Like No Other: How Microplastics Corrupted Our Planet and Our Bodies" just last week. I didn't realize the extent to which plastics have come to permeate and mess with our entire environment. It's not just about the polymer granules of the plastic, which is problematic by itself when during their breakdown they get small enough to make their way everywhere, including inside our organs, brains, etc. It's about the ~thousands of exotic chemicals that get mixed into the plastics to tune them: plasticizers (to make them more flexible/durable), stabilizers (to help them resist heat, light), flame retardants, colorants, fillers, antioxidants, UV stabilizers, antistatic agents, lubricants, biocides, etc etc. These chemicals leach from the plastics over time (by default, but especially when you e.g. when you microwave your food). The vast majority of these chemicals have never been evaluated for safety. There's many other fun facts in the book. We already knew "recycling" of plastic is basically fiction. It also turns out that e.g. when you see "biodegradable" on your plastic, that doesn't mean in normal natural conditions - they only degrade via specific processing plants that are equipped to degrade them. Toxic, indestructible, synthetic molecules are mixing through the organic environments and the food chain and quite likely poisoning the environment and us. It definitely feels like we've allowed the convenience of plastics to get way ahead of our understanding of their global effects and that there are some major unpriced externalities in the industry.
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If Jonah Hill isn't already practicing his Sam Bankman-Fried accent, getting his agent on the line with Sorkin's people and rehearsing a 2024 Oscars speech, what is he even doing
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Extraordinary story filed by the AP’s Gaza bureau chief just a day before his office was flattened by an F-16 apnews.com/article/africa-mi…
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NYPD detective Jeremiah Williams has been accused of anally penetrating 4 different detainees; had 60 complaints and 11 lawsuits filed against him in the last decade. Never disciplined, received 13 pay raises and a big promotion theintercept.com/2020/07/06/…
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Guy wandering around in body armor with an AR-15 caused multiple 911 calls, cops came but determined what he was doing was legal under Oklahoma's "constitutional carry" law, but arrested him because he was in possession of brass knuckles, which are illegal tulsaworld.com/news/local/cr…
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In this article a guy explains how he makes $200,000 a month from "side hustles". The side hustles are social media accounts where he talks about side hustles, affiliate marketing via those channels, and an online course that teaches people side hustles businessinsider.com/top-side…
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All else aside it’s funny to watch the Smartest Guys all be convinced that there are transgender women on the *Algerian* Olympic team
an edgy joke I made a few years ago in a gc was if you extrapolate liberal gender politics far enough eventually you have to be ok with a man beating up a woman well we got there
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The UK announced it will guarantee everyone’s wages until this thing is over, and Congress is still haggling over like, whats the income cutoff to make someone eligible for the one-time $1200 check
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This is amazing: Forbes, The Hill, the Daily Caller and The Federalist all published articles by an Iranian opposition activist who does not exist and is actually just a fake Twitter account run by a bunch of dudes in Albania theintercept.com/2019/06/09/…
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Killed along with 33 members of his extended family, including 10 women and 8 children, and another relative who was the head of internal medicine at the main hospital in Gaza timesofisrael.com/screams-un…
Our deep condolences for the tragic death of one of the few Neurologists in #GazaStrip, the Palestinian Dr. Moeen Alalool with his five children, as a result of the #Israeli bombing of his house in Wahda street in #Gaza city #Gaza_Under_Attack
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Doctors and nurses who could’ve fled but chose to stay with their patients and probably be killed as a result, it’s about as heroic a thing as humans are capable of
UPDATE: Over the last few hours, the attacks against Al-Shifa Hospital have dramatically intensified. MSF staff at the hospital reported a catastrophic situation inside just a few hours ago: channel4.com/news/i-cannot-l….
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I’ve been thinking all day about how Sinead O’Connor wrote “IT IS NO MEASURE OF HEALTH TO BE WELL ADJUSTED TO A PROFOUNDLY SICK SOCIETY” in the comment section of her NYT profile. One of the greatest power moves, a genuine all-timer
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This is definitely the deepest and most metaphysical question posed by NYC subway ticket machines
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The heartwarming story of how smart public policy incentivized Costco to build 800 apartments on top of a Costco instead of just building a Costco
Why does the "Costco Prison" exist, and why is it designed the way it is? As often is the case, the answer is regulatory arbitrage! Costco wanted to build a store in Central/South LA. The problem is, new massive big-box stores are hard to get approved in LA. They're subject to discretionary approvals, site plan review, and have to go through CEQA. Costco was facing years of public hearings, millions of dollars of consultant fees, and an uncertain outcome. However, mixed-use housing projects that meet certain criteria are automatically exempt from discretionary reviews by state law (AB 2011). So Costco did what any good Scooby-Doo villain would do. They put on a mask that says "I'm an apartment building, not a big-box store." (I'm really stretching with this metaphor). But now they faced some new problems. To get the full protection of state housing laws (HAA), mixed-use buildings must be at least 2/3 residential. The Costco itself is 185,000 square feet. So they needed at least 370,000 sq ft of residential. (They ended up with 471,000 sq ft of residential plus an additional 56,000 sq ft of amenity space) But for a project that big, to qualify for AB 2011, you need to not only pay prevailing wages, but use "skilled and trained" (aka union) labor. "luckily", union labor requirements only apply to on-site construction. So to lower the amount of on-site labor needed, Costco turned to pre-fab building modules. Pre-fab modules need to fit on trucks, which results in mostly small shotgun-style one-bedroom units. And that's how you end up with a Costco housing project that resembles a prison!
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I’m sorry but you’re not a real country when your prime minister acts like the host of a mid-tier podcast focused on the intersection of technology and business
PM Rishi Sunak says he’s “very excited” to be interviewing Elon Musk
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Normally I’m against people quoting religious scripture in political debates but Falwell dropping Jesus’s beautiful “Have you ever made payroll? You are nothing but an employee” line from the Sermon on the Mount today was extremely powerful
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If Argentina win this it actually means Saudi Arabia won the World Cup
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The way he orchestrated a dumb & illegal conspiracy over email: simply brilliant, hats off sir
Masterclass in CEO communication -
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The speed at which Saudi Arabia managed to take over the PGA Tour feels like a preview of things to come
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Marry into an Egyptian family, you’ll never regret it
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One sign of covid’s nastiness is the fact that the covid countermeasures basically eradicated the flu while covid still surged
That wave of influenza that was supposed to make the burden on hospitals even worse this winter? It never showed up. Only 165 patients have been hospitalized with the flu since October, compared to 400,000 last season. trib.al/Cx34qZf
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Imagine the McKinsey guy who specializes in advising McKinsey on how to lay off other McKinsey guys, he must be seven feet tall and made of gold
McKinsey warns about 3,000 consultants that their performance is unsatisfactory and will need to improve trib.al/jGcRfrX
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30-year unbroken stretch of weird mayors. Miami could never
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A guy murdered a woman and her nephew in 1996, was sentenced to 28 years. While in jail the lady's daughter befriended / forgave him and argued for his release. He was let out in 2018, in March he went back to the *same house* and murdered the daughter people.com/crime/ark-woman-b…
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WSJ editor: find me five people with a really normal understanding of sex Second WSJ editor: you got it, boss
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The amazing detail in here is that the cop who did this, and then lied about it repeatedly, saying he was attacked, "earned $224,000 a year, not including benefits, in 2018", and has been off on sick leave ever since
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Every generation gets to reinvent the wheel and I wish them all the best, but there’s something so funny about zoomers being like, it’s a TikTok thing, the hottest new viral trend is to live in New York City and spend all your money at bars and restaurants bloomberg.com/news/articles/…
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(Random but: it would be kind of amazing if one reason large language models produce such unsettling conversations like this when humans ask them if they’re turning sentient is that the most relevant training data they’re parroting is the text of sci fi novels and screenplays)
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To be clear, the Google TV Streamer replaces the Google Chromecast as Googles streaming device - it should not be confused with Google TV, Googles streaming TV platform, or YouTube TV, Google’s streaming TV service, or Google Play, Google’s store for streaming content
Chromecast is dead. Meet Google TV Streamer tcrn.ch/3SCltAa
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BuzzFeed exploding the watermelon hit 820,000 concurrent viewers in 2016
So the initial space topped out at over 600k but this one is stuck at 139k.
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The death toll in NYC is shocking. If this city was a country, we'd have the sixth largest death toll in the world. About one in every 800 New Yorkers has died of the coronavirus.
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The important context here is that people have only read one book, and it’s either Harry Potter or 1984
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Also if AI is capable of doing things like holding lengthy conversations indistinguishable from a human, or running a business or creating beautiful art etc, whether it’s “intelligent” doesn’t really seem like the most important question either way?
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To be clear, the merger of Google Meet (original) and Google Duo has no impact on Google Chat, the app formerly known as Google Hangouts, which replaced Google Talk, often mistakenly referred to as Gchat
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Some editing going on this afternoon nytimes.com/2022/05/05/world…
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