Replying to @TODAYshow
The Land of Getting Milked by Honeys
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15
24,174
Give us rock hard or nothing!
2
21
6,087
555,250
Replying to @caitiedelaney
Living in some McMansion in armpit Texas acting like she’s in the prairie
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24
6,012
293,010
Replying to @That1guyJeff
How much of the $5B do I get?
11
110
4,352
421,838
Replying to @shutupmikeginn
Golf course jokes from your dads buddies
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1
2,183
67,642
Replying to @gracecamille_
I highly doubt that kid is a Rolling Stones fan. Like maybe Exile on Main St. but no deep cuts at all.
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14
1,641
441,069
Replying to @ch1w33th3d0g
Can’t wait for my fresh churned butter
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12
1,593
154,409
Replying to @imfleetwoodjack
They should be able to earn an extra point for best outfit too
2
12
1,197
45,549
Replying to @Ancommiey
Oh no she’s mistaken getting attention with having talent
6
7
878
130,361
Replying to @klintrulez
People think they’re getting this type of gold on Threads???
2
1
832
41,157
Replying to @zachsilberberg
Pharell 😊
3
7
851
84,520
Replying to @BrandonPerna
If they win all five they should have to play the Mighty Ducks
2
10
806
79,069
Replying to @NFL_Stats
The Niners have the opportunity to do the funniest thing
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5
755
35,295
Replying to @tonyhawktruther
Basically made out of cardboard and wooden skewers
1
1
629
40,838
Replying to @ContraPoints
These dudes love tweeting out their war crimes
3
13
599
39,434
Replying to @chiweethedog
The clear plastic spoon is icing on the cake
3
611
25,528
Replying to @DAVIDPLEASESTOP
Yeah but it will be hilarious for your therapist and keep you coming back
2
7
582
28,466
Replying to @jaketropolis
I am a 13th century peasant will that work
4
2
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Replying to @jesuslasupajew
Damn all of this for 2 more inches?
2
2
509
119,852
Replying to @CaudilloXIV
How many 9/11s is this?
14
4
439
109,626
3 first names, 1 food preparation
2
4
478
33,051
Replying to @dandakich
You’re making Harbaugh sound cool as hell
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3
452
119,732
Replying to @JPHilllllll
If only George Bush had the opportunity to post his war crimes 😢
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8
425
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Replying to @yearncel @autixcx
Hot take in 2023: people shouldn’t be allowed to get fisted in public.
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3
388
7,122
Replying to @AvivaKlompas
They say 274% of statistics are made up in the spot
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8
344
12,184
Replying to @hanfjob
Backshots on the carpet tonight, queen?
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6
374
27,318
Replying to @rkktweets
This is peak Marvel Brain
2
334
36,967
Replying to @JordanUhl
Barely Alivestock
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337
30,885
Replying to @_uncoolniece
Pokémon Go to the polls
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1
342
16,736
Replying to @JoePostingg
Did he try spraying her down with the hose?
1
338
81,217
Replying to @colormejorge
Matthew Broderick takes you for a drive in Northern Ireland in his BMW
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6
343
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Replying to @OnlineJosh_
Never forget
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336
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Replying to @ChadParsonsNFL
Illusion of care vs. actually caring
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4
331
107,024
More people have accidentally called him Tyler
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And head coach crazy enough to fall in love with both of them. Coming Spring 2024 on Peacock
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1
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Replying to @GarbageApe
“Came here to say this”
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Replying to @imallearsbro
Gently waking him: “sir… sir, the photoshop you requested is finished”
1
221
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Replying to @AynRandy
So what they watched Kung Fu Panda together big whoop
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1
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Replying to @marshal
$260/wk seems low. She spends 7 hours in the kitchen, say another 1+ shopping and another 1+ creating a menu and taking feedback. She’s making less than $30/hr to be a full time personal chef?
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Replying to @Sparrow_Hater
This is sponsored content for Emerson
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Replying to @nypost
Very normal!
14
211
155,809
Replying to @TheyThemItalian
Call him Russell Westbank with the stat padding
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5
209
39,108
Replying to @hanfjob
Jayy Lemo
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1
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Replying to @nicksortor
Oh no what’s he going to do next drink a beer 😱
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198
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Where does he rank among near fatal accident victims who also own a home flipping business?
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3
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To go to the war lol
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174
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I don’t get attention or have talent, Sue
2
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Replying to @clubmoss_
Noooooo that’s so dangerous! Remove the cardboard for a flatter surface!!!
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45,290
Replying to @RapSheet
Oh no he’s got updog again 😭
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5
171
221,053
Any computer with porn on it is a self service machine
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1
141
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Replying to @PrettyBadLefty
Literally was elected to represent a group of people that he no longer cares what they think. Saying the quiet part loud.
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1
155
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Replying to @jdcmedlock
Looks like it should be in a minions movie
154
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Replying to @steinkobbe
Very heterosexual behavior here, very alpha hetero
1
141
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Replying to @shoe0nhead
Meanwhile the team that just won the World Series is the only team refuses to celebrate the league wide pride month
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It is a really nice Jeep though
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1
131
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Replying to @LolOverruled
Jerftoberfest
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129
13,276
Replying to @ro
This is poison
4
1
116
19,698
Replying to @_madisontayt
Gotta run a few errands, let me get black out drunk real quick
1
1
128
12,540
Replying to @corysnearowski
Gatling gun 😢
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13,311
What would he do if I slathered my nutsack in peanut butter?
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1
105
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Replying to @Baileymoon15
This isn’t even a late night segment Jimmy just happened to be coked out in the subway with a tambourine
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Replying to @TWH_Chris
Technology has made it so two guys drinking a beer and talking about football feel like they can have a ‘show’
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3
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Replying to @metalgearobama
I thought it was going to go well for him
1
110
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Replying to @ass_beaters
🎵 if you belieeeved they put a man on the moom (man on the moooooooom) 🎶
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1
98
8,000
Replying to @smokeismedicine
PSA: the moment someone gets on a bike they no longer qualify as human. They are now a motor vehicle so they can only be totaled, not murdered!
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Replying to @kenklippenstein
So it is written
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She sounds cool as hell
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Replying to @JohnDiLillo
“Madame Web will have you shooting ropes”
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Replying to @BillAckman
My guy can’t even think of a good analogy. Goes to show you can get rich without getting smart.
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Replying to @Seamus_Malek
No fap Chad
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1
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Replying to @UMvsEveryone
That’s home field through the playoffs and then the Super Dome
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25,972
Replying to @ContraPoints
And yet this site is free
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38,630
Replying to @allahliker
Did you get back into your account?
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75
32,898
Replying to @emilio__oilime
You can’t spell grifted without gifted
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30,547
Replying to @kitten_beloved
“We love penises, don’t we folks? They say to me - this is what they told me - they said ‘men aren’t supposed to love penises’… what do we think about that? I think we set the record straight: we love penises.”
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1
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Replying to @sam_d_1995
I can’t understand how creating this kind of monstrosity is legal either
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2
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Replying to @UsingCigarettes
‘Rogan helped me get into shape and now I’m as funny as he is too’
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Replying to @mozgovaya @UW
I love that she took a quick break from being persecuted to grab a Pumpkin Spice Latte
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3
68
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Replying to @ACTBrigitte
As real as your eyebrows?
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66
2,635
Replying to @mhp_guy
Is it worth being rich if you have to live in Texas?
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65
6,590
Replying to @sbell021
He can’t balance HC/OC duties. He’s not keeping the refs accountable and playing not to lose on offense. Not great ahead of the game.
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1
70
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Replying to @mitchell_sorkin
He asked you not to raise rates, you seemingly agreed, and then raised the rates within the first month? Did I read that wrong?
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6,343
Replying to @websiteidi0t
Just out of view: crayons and kids placemat. He crushed the word search fyi
72
6,185
Replying to @crazyclipsonly
The worker:

ALT Forrest Gump GIF

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1
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Replying to @SteadyE69
Donte Stallworth
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1
72
34,858
Replying to @hello__caitlin
Only topped by his mourning bandana
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15,484
Replying to @alexL_E_I
We need Conner on the beat asap
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28,612
Replying to @sean_hammond
“If this doesn’t work out, what am I going to do with a degree from Ohio State?”
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1
66
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Replying to @JoshLipnik
This must be where they made my ex gf
2
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Replying to @pugmane
RIP Big Plem 🙏
66
23,072
Narrator: “But it would turn out that 9/11 was the least of Jared’s worries.”
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Replying to @coldhealing
A bartending license is one of the all time grifts
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63
5,425