When a man asks a lesbian couple "which one of you is the man?", what he really means is who handles the spiders in your house.
3
2
30
Replying to @nameshiv
A.I. still can't get fingers/hands or driveways right.
2
704
47,607
Happy chubby chick > annoyed scowling scrawny chick
48
7
572
88,314
Replying to @thechosenberg
The kid is lucky the husband didn't choke him out under water.
4
5
475
49,216
Making jokes about Paul Pelosi's gay lover sex fight =/= wishing political violence on former/future president...
7
303
7,002
Replying to @StrangerJosh11
1
34
333
121,244
Replying to @614clinton
God bless that man from Queens, whom'stever he is...
4
21
330
20,649
Replying to @TheBestqueenx
I know this one. The 5th sister's name is "What".
10
1
211
30,527
Replying to @4chan_green
Told us from the beginning.
193
2,099
Memers hitting "refresh" on the news waiting for Klaus Schwab to kick off.
13
31
194
11,542
Replying to @9mmsmg
He said "it's a big club and YOU'RE not in it." NOT "it's a big club and WE'RE not in it."
2
3
156
4,748
I would totally prank my younger self.
1
129
Replying to @Breadbo1 @breadbo1
The fucking around came after the finding out, too.
1
130
14,999
Replying to @ChallengeYCL
Celebrating 100 years of him being a good communist.
2
128
6,169
Replying to @ChuckCallesto
POST THE NUMBER! POST THE CALL!
5
3
123
13,095
This woman is a perfect illustration of the state of Oregon. Objectively attractive, maybe even beautiful. But incredibly stupid.
44
12
113
6,714
"60 to 70 cents for every dollar..." Look pal, do you wanna be a real woman or not?!
Want to support trans people? Hire us. Trans people regularly face workplace discrimination, and earn 60-70 cents for every dollar earned by a cis person. Let’s fix that.
12
11
101
3,676
Replying to @GwenGraham
Wait, what's happening in FL?! Are they having the same problems as Portland now?!
10
110
13,551
Replying to @FrailSkeleton
Polyamory is just swinging for the fats and the uggos
3
93
9,029
Replying to @zeynepmyenisey
"WAHT IS THIS MEME I DONT UNDERSTAND."
3
2
97
1,501
Replying to @zukosmadre
No tip for you
4
1
82
3,128
Replying to @fox12oregon
Oh, so I don't need this anymore?
6
8
91
2,639
The democrat registration drive is down the road at the cemetery.
4
2
74
Bret Michaels looks good!
2
76
Replying to @taymabelitini
From a Husband/Dad; FWIW... We forget. We're sorry. It's not willful. Some of us have a hard time getting to/through the season and we just forget.
246
1
64
248,492
Replying to @anon_opin
Nope, that's gay.
1
71
10,293
Replying to @KATUNews
3
9
70
1,705
Replying to @KGWNews
If we vote harder and pay more taxes, the weather will be gooder.

ALT Happy Back To School GIF

1
2
65
500
Replying to @anisenot @AniseNot
Inflammation! Inflammation! Inflammation! Wheat and sugar, sugar and wheat.
4
63
34,506
Replying to @fox12oregon
We all know what happened.
10
67
4,872
Replying to @HeatherIsUnsane
That situation was temporary but this story is forever. Your husband was right.
1
64
3,903
Replying to @leamaric @LeaMaric
Some intern on his last day at the NYT wrote this right before nuking a salmon for 20 minutes in the break room.
2
2
62
1,855
"iNcReDiBlY sElEcTiVe mEmOrIeS!"
7
2
55
1,497
You sure know a lot about penises.
1
54
1,993
Replying to @KOINNews
After 3, they should have gotten the message.
2
2
56
1,055
Replying to @caroljsroth
Weezer's version of Africa.
13
62
6,337
"The Oregon Way" is just cotton candy communism and I'm glad it's dying.
8
3
55
1,145
Replying to @KOINNews
"It's not racism if we just exclude the white kids!"
3
52
553
So was he Mason and commie?
1
50
4,010
Replying to @KOINNews
Stop trying to rebrand it. It's Monkeypox. And we all know how it's spread and who is spreading it.
2
1
56
891
Replying to @KGWNews
You still shouldn't ever buy a used bicycle in Portland.
4
58
1,234
Depending on the definition of steaming, you're either mad or all hot and moist. Either way, I'm aware of the effect I have on women.
20
42
20,714
Replying to @anisenot @AniseNot
Sooooo... You gonna go pack those lunches now or what?
3
46
5,568
Your poor Dad.
48
788
Replying to @Tweet_Dec
I'm an American, explain it to me in Star Wars.
10
2
45
14,373
Replying to @KATUNews
Well those are certainly interesting names! Were these folks longstanding residents and pillars of the community or recent transplants there to enrich the community?
5
1
42
2,460
Replying to @9mmsmg
1
42
3,085
There it is.
1
43
7,195
Replying to @EricAbbenante
Molly is aging terribly.
2
35
13,644
Stull unvaxxed, still alive, still never tested, still never had covid.
44
Replying to @fox12oregon
Imagine sticking up for Portland after all that's happened the last 3 years...
5
38
744
I honestly thought Moms Demand Action was a porn genre.
1
35
955
Replying to @BangSwitch5000
Someone calling themselves "American Obscenity" blocking a dude for racism.

ALT J Jonah Jameson Laughing GIF

5
1
33
1,373
The chick that said Trump lunged for the steering wheel while in the back of the presidential limo. Can't believe anyone fell for that one! 😆😆😆
1
42
6,418
Replying to @VayaConDonos
Right back at ya!

ALT Burnout Smokey GIF

1
39
306
No matter what the bar owner's side of the story is, the cop crashing his cop car into a gay bar after midnight is where the story starts.
1
35
2,296
Replying to @KATUNews
A plaza built on an old closed park on top of a condemned parking garage named after a dead crossdresser in a place nicknamed Vaseline Alley is peak Portland.
3
3
36
816
Replying to @KOINNews
My current ODL expires after 2025. I don't fly anywhere. I'll deal with it when I deal with it.
2
1
38
3,569
Replying to @kimmie_c_
One of these guys

ALT Clarkson Thumbs Up GIF

6
38
933
Replying to @CollinJHumphrey
Which one is the before picture?
1
1
34
3,295
Replying to @nypost
Tennessee Sex Cop sounds like late night Cinemax fare.
3
36
14,954
Replying to @KATUNews
Remember when children weren't allowed in bars? Pepperidge Farms remembers.
2
33
700
Replying to @anisenot @AniseNot
Oh, you fell for that?
33
3,069
Replying to @komonews
I think our politicians should have first dibs (non placebos)! Journalists, too!
34
411
Replying to @anisenot @AniseNot
"Soooon" - Anise
1
1
29
2,425
Replying to @HeidiBriones
How cats look at their owners when they go in for a snuggle and to smooch their little baby housetiger faces.
2
32
7,447
Replying to @KATUNews
Civil War.
34
Replying to @KOINNews
It's just a map of Portland.
2
1
32
720
Replying to @anisenot @AniseNot
I legiterally had no idea there was a good kind of passive aggressive.
6
1
30
3,032
No one made jokes about Paul almost dying. We made jokes that it was a gay sex fight while Nancy was out of town.
3
29
2,059
"Traffic Violence"...
33
606
Replying to @fox12oregon
So many fat commie kids who won't be getting free ice cream
4
32
514
Replying to @KeturahAbigail
Wild animals hide and protect their vulnerable offspring from predators and humans would be wise to learn a thing or two about that from them.
30
861
Replying to @AbortionChat
If your service animal is a danger, then your service animal is the problematic one.
27
1,314
Replying to @ShaeAaron
Well, when we're not home, things magically stay right where we left them.
4
29
Replying to @anisenot @AniseNot
Now when you say "fat", are we talking "a few extra pounds", "more cushion for the pushin'", "plush", "cute and chubby", "pleasingly plump", "more to love", "take me down to Cellulite City where the ass ain't lean but she got big titties", "don't turn your back on your dinner"...
4
30
9,811
Replying to @anisenot @AniseNot
That's called an "Unvitation".
1
27
4,139
Replying to @RepSylviaGarcia
Yeah, lady, I just saw this video. You don't even deserve the 77 cents.
Through her line of questioning, Rep. Sylvia Garcia reveals she doesn't know who @bariweiss is and proceeds to ask a rather...awkwardly worded question.
3
30
326
The lighting was better outside for the MV virtue signal photo op.
3
27
It's not too late to stop rooting for intravenous drug use in grocery store bathrooms
1
1
29
978
Replying to @KGWNews
How many were vaccinated?
2
1
31
724
Replying to @Lifeinvestmoney
Paint em yellow? Customer stands outside and just waves at the car to pick them up? FUCK IT, I'M IN.
2
31
1,340
Replying to @HeatherIsUnsane
"Milk Stop"...
1
31
5,264
Replying to @drudraper
I thought this was a joke/meme at first and OH MY GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
2
31
885
If Zelensky was in his office when it got hit, does that mean all our tax dollars can come home?
1
1
23
Polyamory is just a weird type of swinging.
1
30
2,367
Replying to @EpochTimes
Keep it up, cat lady and you're gonna end up owing him money like Stormy.
29
197
Replying to @Emilio2763
27
843
Replying to @hemingquay
I miss that rascal SO MUCH
28
6,608