I prefer to see it another way. The most iconic characters in fiction — Superman, James Bond, Batman, Goku, Conan, etc. — didn’t go on Hero’s Journeys. Instead, they’re flat-arc characters who can always be counted on to be who they are. You can be that, anon — reliable.
You want your life to be a Hero's Journey.
It probably won't be.
But it might be something better.
Read on to find out.👇
You know the drill.
Joseph Campbell.
Hero with a thousand faces.
Always three acts.
Unprepared upstart leaves ordinary world...
Faces tests in the extraordinary world...
And comes back a changed person.
Over and over, same story, across all fiction and myth, for thousands of years.
Because this is the story we all crave. We watch it, read it, stream it, download it, play it, LARP it...
And want it for ourselves, too. For our own lives.
We all long to be Heroes on a Journey.
But something my wife said the first time I showed her the Star Wars Prequels changed everything for me.
You know the scene when Qui-Gonn Neeson and Ewan Kenobi face their horny foe in Phantom Menace?
Watching the flick with her... right before that... right as the Duel of the Fates begins with brass and opera and lightsaber sfx, my wife goes:
"Where's the bathroom? Did they go to the bathroom first?"
I lol'ed and told her just watch the movie this is my favorite part I saw this like 8 times in theaters.
But the wifely commentary stayed with me.
Why DIDN'T they go to the bathroom?
(This question is not about bathrooms.)
I mean really...
Why don't we see the hero from the ordinary world doing, you know... ordinary things?
And why don't ordinary things happen TO them, too?
In real life, sometimes the hero misses what was supposed to be the defining moment because lunch's sushi sat out too long. Or they had too much coffee. Or too little.
Maybe the hero gets cancer. Dies before leaving home to meet the guide, get the gold, kill the dragon. So there is no Unexpected Journey. Just the sharp knife of a short life.
And you know those nameless, faceless grunts and baddies the 1-dimensional badass bossbabe who hashtag slays queen?
In real life, that's somebody's dad. Hubs. Boss. He's 3x the size of Mary Sue but she graces him in two with a sword heavier than she is. Dead as a dump as the Main Theme keeps time with the jumpcuts.
Was that man not a hero on his own journey?
OK no, but maybe... anti-hero? At least villain. Those guys have their own story arcs.
But that's life sometimes, innit? You're doing your job, remembering to feed your kid's new dog because of course he forgot he said I promise dad I promise to take care of him and then he went and didn't. That's kids.
And then wham bam thank you blue-haired ma'am you're dead. Patriarchy smashed. Fido goes hungry tonight.
All that to say...
In real life, bad but ordinary things happen. Sometimes they happen to bad people. Often the good people, too. And there's no rhyme, reason, or reprise.
No plot twist the dashing hero will turn their way out of to victory. Just... a dead end.
In real life, Bruce Waynes don't become nighttime vigilantes. They're naked but for the paper medical gown when the doctor comes in and says, "Actually, it's not the flu after all. It's stage 4. I'm so sorry."
In real life, Harry doesn't get magic envelopes from an owl army. He opens a form letter from the university of his dreams which reads, "We regret to inform you..."
That's not good enough for us. The humdrum and routine and habits and hobbies and bills to pay and appointments to keep and vitamins to remember to take... We need more than that.
So from time to time, we check in with our heroic meta-selves.
"What's it all mean? Am I on the right path? Who is my guide? What am I missing?"
Then we try to shoehorn our lives and arcs into the Hero template.
Actually, that terrible thing you didn't deserve as a kid... OMG, that was literally the Inciting Incident. And that accident which took away your best days... Woah, that was actually the Big Twist!
You are a Hero and this is Journey. Obviously.
Right?
...
Right?
See, some call this "reaching" that we do, quasi-superstitious as it is, The Meaning Crisis.
You might have heard that before.
The Meaning Crisis is a struggle to find Metaphysical Worth amid the Physical Weeks that pass us by...
As we try to keep our bank accounts looking not scary, the grass cut and snow shoveled, keep flees off the cat, remember to buy tickets for the festival during the early bird 15% off...
None of which is heroic or journeylike.
All resistance to this realization is cope.
It is, to ironically use yet another story metaphor...
It's Sailing No More.
Remember when Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story knew just knew he was a space ranger who could fly not fall with style?
He seizes the day to make all doubt go away.
Buzz leaps into the air!
And falls.
Crash break splat.
"I will go sailing no more," sings Randy Newman.
You and I?
We are Buzz Lightyear.
That's us. Leaping. Sailing.
No more.
We think we're Heroes on a Journey.
We're not.
Real life is not Myth; it's math.
In The Phantom Menace movie, there are 128 on-screen talking roles. Many hundreds more extras, both across and computer-generated. Thousands even.
What is the chance any one of them is the Chosen One?
Low.
Now make it 8.045 billion.
What are the odds for you?
Are you the Chosen One?
A space ranger?
Do you protect the galaxy from the threat of invasion and from the evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance?
Or are you and I more like Mr. Potato Head and Rex, who after hearing that very speech from Buzz earlier in the movie say:
"Oh, really? I'm from Playskool." "And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not really from Mattel. I'm actually from a smaller company that was purchased by Mattel in a leveraged buyout."
What are the odds, anon?
Most of us go around thinking and maybe talking a big game. Like Buzz. Pre-fall.
Some of us? We're Buzz after the fall.
We went a little mad.
Because we've had our own "Matrix" moment.
The Hero's Journey isn't real life.
Because where's the bathroom? Did you go to the bathroom first?
Maybe you'll pick up your broken arm of a dream where you're the main character.
Because you and I are less of an Anakin Skywalker.
And more like Spectator #3 (Uncredited).
Good.
That means you're what?
You're free.
To be what?
The best toy you can be.
Most space rangers remain NPCs, like we saw in Toy Story 2 when Buzz bumped into another Buzz.
Most people you'll meet in the places you'll go never went Sailing No More.
But you've been around awhile now. You're not naive. Life just got in the way, you know? You've got responsibilities. Yeah, you stacked some wins. Money in the bank. Good people say good things about you. Adds up.
"I want something more."
Yeah, man, we all do. Meaning crisis amirite.
All you can do is be the best toy you can be.
"Joshua what are you saying"
Exactly.
In every Hero's Journey, you get a satisfying wrap-up where it's all tied together with a knot, a bow, and a nod to the next adventure.
In real life?
Things just...
End.