90/100 calls (I'm talking to 100 people!) zcal.co/slong/
Austin, TX
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I’ve worked with @fullyknownexp and @pfiefer_ for over a year. We teach our clients how to get what they want and say "no" to what they don't.
Here are some things they said about us.
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i go on walks with this guy in the sun and sometimes he’ll go talk to a woman he finds interesting
like, one on a two hour walk. and he’ll chat for ten minutes and be like “I’m seeing her for coffee tomorrow”
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if i am reading the choking study correctly, they took 15 women who like having the life choked out of them and compared them to random other women for five biomarkers, and found a statistically significant for only one of them that can be elevated when you're really stressed
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zoomers do not understand that price signals have value
that shipping massive bulk storage goods by container ship is actually fairly environmentally friendly
that making individual packages of precooked food for them is not
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likely she was paying attention to you in an presence sense and you did the same to her and she said "hi" which was the natural next step
there are microattunements and such
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that kind of hit rate seemed impossible, ludicrous
but he’s just really, really good at reading whether someone is open to conversation, and whether *he* actually really wants to talk to that person, and being chill
and it turns out almost *everyone* responds very well to that
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the crying is unattractive is the lightest of stuff really
the deep, dark stuff is about how unattractive loneliness, despair, self-pity, and grasping for others are
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I used to think that I could make women comfortable by proving myself safe. Now I realize that most women feel more safe if I feel comfortable.
some men lovingly do their best to signal "i am not a threat" while pushing their darkness down. if you believe them, this makes them *more* dangerous. they do not actually have mastery over their darkness, and you might be caught in the blast zone when it finally explodes out
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Jung is actually incredible.
Why does no-one talk about this?
They do but they make him sound terrible
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20k expenses
s-corp, split the 80k into 40k profit with no SE and 40k salary
6k self employment tax on the salary
QBI deduction = 6k, standard = 14kish, you're being income taxed on 58k. so another 8k federal tax. 14k tax total + state and local taxes. about 18k
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the real question is whether they properly considered foreign powers ability to stack men on other men in training videos when rating the marines
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I wonder if you could better model doom scrolling and other activities commonly seen as dopamine sources to be instead free energy sinks which prevent neural annealing
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i dont understand why chest freezers are sold without some kind of alarm warning
had one go bad and lost fish
just, ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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alexander technique and energy works seems a lot about dropping everything
it’s tempting to TRY VERY HARD
never works
just drop it. drop this other thing. drop that thing too. suddenly you can dance
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As someone who grew up in Alaska surrounded by mountains, having a beautiful view all the time is like the opposite of having a disgusting bathroom or a grimy slum
You kind of forget about it but it makes your life way better
Every time I see a beautiful view with massive floor-to-ceiling windows that flaunts itself constantly, it reminds me of the Zen View pattern from A Pattern Language. I remember how after 6 months with a floor-to-ceiling view of the bay it became invisible to me.
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It was so bad tho. Walz, not even appearing on Rogan?
At no point did she even talk to the people she was attempting to appeal to!
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people like, love to help! they do *not* like approaching a bottomless pit of craving, especially one which might attach to them.
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the paper says you cannot infer casaulity:
"Limitations were the relatively small sample size and the cross-sectional design, which prevents causal inference."
but it actually proves that stressed women like neck hugs
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there is massive alpha in being a man who is a genuine friend to women and not only for the sake of trying to bang them
but pretending to be that thing and not really being it is the most toxic and destructive to both parties
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sunofdopamine’s lessons in dark social arts
#1. get in situations where everything sucks and just fix stuff nearby. you can feel good for helping and will end up with random solid friends you didn’t expect
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just had my friend point out something during cold approach which has me *reeling*
he noticed a set of circumstances in which i become performative and disconnected
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it's a cursed problem: many try to resolve it as if they were drowning, roused from their stupor when someone passes by to desperately flail, needing to hang on and be pulled up, but only dragging their victim down
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you are interested in a functional system of alcohol labeling which fulfills constraints and works for the people
she is interested in abdicating responsibility for her decisions
You are not the same
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telling women that they do not like what they like is asshole behavior, and so is using fake science to persuade them to be different
i still have a little concern about being choked out, but i participate in BJJ. all of us make our own decisions
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one of the biggest tools is to learn to make specific asks (and when they are appropriate) so that you can manage your pain in consideration of the impact on others before your shadow self does it for you
+ how to heal yourself and when to pull back and do so
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this grasping, needing, demand from others is the true root of what makes a certain form of crying unattractive, but that crying is just an expression of an energy which can be terrifying or repulsive
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This follows directly from the better safe than sorry paper
Addiction provides an excellent way to manage your experience
In fact it doesn't feel all that different really from all the other ways we do so
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did: spent too much time in situations that caused unresolvable internal conflict and didn't make hard decisions fast enough out of fear of loss
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challenged to write 12 pieces of hot girl wisdom by the hot girl chat. here u go
1. to be attractive to others without disassociating into a shadow means either sociopathy or learning how to process the fact you aren’t responsible for others’ pain and what they want from you
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Wonderful essay. I'm especially glad that you kept it short given how little time those around you have left
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I jumped out of my car while driving to tell a woman she was hot.
she was surprised, then delighted.
i didn’t expect things to go well until she held out her phone for my #
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In the beginning they put armor where are the most bullet holes were on planes that came back
Eventually they realized they should put armor on the places where planes never came back with bullet holes
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Has anyone successfully used meditation to increase their ability to work without burnout
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cool thing that happened: someone who controlled and manipulated/abused me my entire life trying to do it again
and looking in their eyes and feeling the pain and suffering and realizing they weren’t trying to hurt me they just needed to relieve that somehow
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Find the part of you that doesn't want to get up and feel more fully into it than you ever have before
No distractions, no phone
Once you are reassured and connected start feeling into what you can do for your day
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Someone smart did a deep dive on the choking study and it's even worse than I thought
The value is half as elevated as you can get from swimming, is also correlated with depression a and anxiety and they didn't even properly attempt to control
I got a copy of that choking study going around. There are various issues - observational study, light sprinkling of p-hacking, poorly matched groups - but the biggest issue is effect size. Their primary finding is a statistically significant difference in the level of a biomarker called S100B (they tested 5 and got 1 hit). Women who reported being choked ≥ 4x in the last month had higher levels than women who reported never having been choked.
Setting aside the other issues and assuming a causal relationship, we should ask two questions here: what does S100B mean, and is the difference an amount that anyone should care about?
S100B is a marker that's elevated in people with acute TBI, hemmorhage, and other brain injuries. But it's also elevated when non-brain-related bones are broken, by melanoma, after surgery, and in depressed and bipolar patients. And by swimming, running marathons, or just having a high BMI. Baseline healthy levels are between 30 and 100pg/ml. The study doesn't actually provide numbers (which seems like a bad sign!), but we can eyeball the charts.
That gives medians of 44.7pg/ml vs 27.1 for the choking and non-choking groups respectively. Values for acute brain injury can be in the thousands, migraine, depression, bipolar, marathon running, and swimming, can get you into the hundreds.
So the difference is pretty small, and in a causal world who knows if it matters. The marker just isn't very specific. We can also tell a lot of stories about non-causal worlds that are consistent with the finding.
This choking group was more depressed (PHQ-9 score), more anxious (GAD-7), and drank more alcohol (AUDIT). They recorded these numbers, but used only the alcohol values in their initial 5-way statistical test, and used none of them in the subsequent univariate tests. Seems sus! But anyway, we already know that depression and anxiety are correlated with S100B. We can also easily imagine that women who like to be choked are more physically active. They could simply be more likely to have worked out recently. Or for that matter they could have higher BMIs and skew results that way. You can come up with lots of explanations.
My smart-layperson-with-access-to-the-internet-and-some-LLMs opinion is that I don't think this study really tells you anything. Which is not the same thing as saying choking is totally safe! I'm sure it's not risk free, but (mostly on intuition) it's probably not especially dangerous compared to other things you might be doing.
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one of my most amazing friends was giving me advice and support earlier today
it hit me - it’s kind of insane the wonderful people i’ve picked up just by posting what comes to mind
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the fall of syria (allowing overflight) and hezbollah (preventing NK style destruction of israel from a massive short range rocket barrage) happened quite rapidly and fundamentalists are not known for quick adjustment to new realities
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i think girls basically just want a wife guy who legitimately adores them while simultaneously being the kind of guy u want to adore you and having strength and boundaries
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alexander technique taught me the shocking fact living in a world involves interacting with the world
not just feeling feelings or process inside your head
so i’m doing or saying things all sorts of times when i wouldnt have before
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he's the polar opposite of the coaches who trained him. they are fire and energy and rizz. he became even more unobtrusive. he just exists and moves into a space and it works for him. even in group pictures he hides in the back like a bystander
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also! if there are externalities such that price signals do *not* correspond to the actual costs incurred to the world
we should tax those (carbon tax! pollution tax!)
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feels calming, like acceptance and surrender
like there's an ocean and you don't know what will happen when you jump in but it's Time. like now you play the song you are going to play
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a lot of people have 0 ability to money and it’s weird to observe
when they cut expenses they are apt to cut critical infrastructure to save $20 and when they’re not cutting expenses they’ll spend $3,000 unnecessarily
they don’t automatically factor in numbers just ideas
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Feynman had his eight? scientific questions in mind to think about in the shower and while sleeping
I've got alexander technique, shadow work, metta, ultraspeaking, attachment theory, being enough, wants not shoulds, loving the moment...
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i dont like date me docs, never have, i dont think they ever end up hitting what actually matters
but if there is ONE THING that would make me stan date me docs it is the people criticizing them rn
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I'm reading The Red book, and the lengthy introduction makes him sound like a mitwit
Then you get into the book, and, BAM
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you may find out that a lot of effort spent recycling and using paper straws does basically 0 to offset driving a 10 mpg car a few miles
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people are lovely
the old woman on the subway with a giant gorgeous cake with a bikini figure for her 70 year old friend’s birthday legit terrified someone would sit on her cake
the way she calmed when i convinced her i would protect her cake
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i don't know if choking is safe or not. some studies on BJJ athletes claim it is:
tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1…
others claim it may provide adaptive neuroprotection:
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/…
there may be risk, but this study does not prove it
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i think a *lot* of TPoT adjacent people have coaching services they could provide at the 40-50+/hr level and quite a few could uplevel to the 100, 200, 300+ w/ experience and brand
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i wonder if sometimes you just have to go and fuck up repeatedly
and by trying to think out how it works beforehand you just stop yourself from fucking up in the way that leads to progress
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if you are socially anxious at vibecamp come find me and ill chat with you and introduce you to people
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and i felt that and suddenly realized i wasn’t getting mad inside repressing myself. i just felt sad for the pain
and instead of being up all night like usual from experiencing that pressure, that emotional vice, i hit the lowest overnight heartrate in like 6mo
peace
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thread about what you can actually *do* as a guy to keep women safe
1. realize that certain behavior from men, including men you may you know, is widespread and exists in a shadow world - it happens when you (and other men who would stop it) are not there
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these may have effects you do not like! the old jeep you use to get to work? that might get *very expensive* to fill up with gas
this is not a *bad* thing this is the true cost of the activity being reflected
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The best part about slutcon was that you could just try stuff
Be the crazy person you're not supposed to be
Talk out the things you're not supposed to talk about
Experiment with actually being you
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I don't actually wanna be around people making those performative statements
There are women who genuinely like men and I find them better to work with, befriend, and date
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it's very OP that the US is able to identify where its various forces are required and logistically project them at the correct time, breaks the game
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how many of you went thru "i blindly trusted authority and just assumed they had SOME kind of good argument because they were my parents"
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my parents banned dance and brainwashed me it was evil
when i finally got the opportunity as a teenager i was so terrified i paced outside the dance area for hours caught between desperate desire to enter and terror
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when you're more open you can JUST GO TO BARS and the women sit next to you
im at the fried chicken bar downing my post getting smashed at bjj woes preparing to cram a project i've been too busy to do
and... woman sits next to me
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Right, because potassium is good for you
Should keep your salt to potassium ratio in check. Doing so through supplements is dicey for a lot of reasons but potatoes, bananas, avocado, lots of great ways to get it
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heading back from @slutconference. thanks to @Aella_Girl and the organizers. felt like many people were showing up for each other and to have a good time and i am feeling the love.
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New post. Explains the common thread and cause between various forms of neurosis at the most basic level and the principles which allow us to solve them all.
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midwest cuisine is in fact that basic across the board
(not all of it is bad! tacos with ground beef, cheese, and sour cream are AMAZING)
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flaming conviction last night that i've spent far too much time trying to think my way out of my problems and that my social body just needs more humans and more activity with them
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there's a lot of selection effects that are invisible in the social sphere because the type of people who *could* do a thing aren't drawn to it
the realm of what is possible is much different than what is normally observed
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Using the court system against someone has always been about whether they have assets or reputation to take.
The same problem is very apparent with child support
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you have to actually be around a baby to even start to comprehend what it would be like to parent one
the baby has preferences to be connected and loved all the time
and this is, based on everything i know about history and attachment theory and trauma research, good
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my life’s possessions are currently sold, in a small group of boxes, or on my back
and in thirty minutes i board a plane
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i’m going to move out of alaska within the next couple months and i’m honestly scared deep inside
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The point where I realized it's not about the words it's about attuning
Assuming the meaning is missing the message
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Records are pretty consistent that Europeans who got a chance to go live with the Indians never came back
Bureaucracy is great for making an empire, not so great for mental health
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my deepest friends did not "grow up well" and I count it an incredible blessing to know them. you trade some surface irregularity for a wellspring of strength, resilience, and principle
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#2. its ok to just say random shit or be generically friendly to ppl. you don’t have to PROVE you have good intentions or invent new math theorems of social kindness or PROVE you really mean compliments
ppl might just like it if u just throw it out there
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#5 if someone seems to be cool beyond belief they might not be actually a god inhabiting the form of a human. its possible u might just like that person. they might even think you are cool also
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- it exists for a reason
- it has significant benefits
- once you remove it you will have problems, maybe big problems you have to deal with, maybe you pulled out a foundation
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#4 be ok with noticing you are in a weird space, giving off weird energy, or fucking up and be ok with yourself for it. this will give you the ability to do for yourself what you need, and in the long run your body system will adjust for the better in the future.
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I liked this scene piped.video/watch?v=xuyoqS31…
one of the reasons Marvel movies can't be horny is because they move too fast to give space to be sensual
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Hit a (full depth) squat PR
Not gonna say what it is I'm embarrassed but I'm still being proud of myself
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i dont see ppl talking about how much not having a car *wrecks* your body
(biking is pretty brutal, too, as someone who didn’t have a car until his early 20s)
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like as a dude *you have value*
even if socially it feels like in certain contexts you have none / are on the wrong side of the market
you can't directly cash that in for sex, that's the whole point, but aside from not being a shit person it *will* still come back to you
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