Did you find what you were looking for? Civilian.

Not on the boat
Replying to @agraybee
And Biden’s? Fuck off with your fake outrage.
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Replying to @Schwarzenegger
lol ok dickhead
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Wait, hold still for a sec
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Replying to @BuffaloRon

ALT Black And White Wow GIF by Laff

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Replying to @HardPass4
Housing, food stamps, phones, monthly cash cards. It’s criminal.
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Replying to @ANNELAMOTT
Wait till you see what the west wing is gonna look like. Ya fucking idiot
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Replying to @SpaghettiKozak
Ok
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Replying to @stevensongs

ALT Breakdance Raygun GIF

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Replying to @smcroasters @grok
Damn that’s impressive. Fuck you @StephenKing
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Replying to @smcroasters
Will you be doing Nog again this year?
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Wife just informed me that because of some upgrade package she bought for the cruise, we now have unlimited drinks per day instead of a limit of 15.

ALT Frustrated Angry GIF

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Replying to @manhattanmaker
You willingly put this on the internet. Next thing you know you’ll be telling a story about how your trailer came off your truck while driving.
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I’ve been subsidizing them for years while paying $2k/month for my family’s insurance. Fuck them.
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GM Married 20 years today. Yes, she’s a saint. No, I have not yet learned to load the dishwasher properly. Have a great day.
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You’re free to denounce your citizenship and leave. But you’re not going to.
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Replying to @romanhelmetguy
Fuck off. This is theft.
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Replying to @SlapLordActual

ALT Pivot Ross GIF

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Replying to @jonesjay
I voted against you today. It was awesome. Fuck off.
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When I file my taxes next year is there a way to request all my money goes to things like this?
Hundreds of peaceful protesters and I got tear-gassed at the ICE Broadway facility this morning - this is what your taxpayer dollars are being used for.
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Going back to work full time tomorrow after about 18 months.

ALT Morgan Freeman Good Luck GIF

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Replying to @HardPass4
Yea that whole thing smells fishy
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Replying to @CTULocal1
You fucking leaches. Fuck off.
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Replying to @patriottakes
Fuck off
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When the entire ~4000 person cruise ship loses shore power and blacks out

ALT Umm Ummm GIF

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Hope this dude doesn’t try to go down the steps. Might have to intervene
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Sooooooooo… When the disposal fell off the sink (for no apparent reason), it landed on, and apparently broke, the cold water feed. Which proceeded to leak all under the island and between the wood floor and the concrete pad it is laid on. Happy Sunday!
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I have become worse @HardPass4 @Smith_WessonInc
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Wvening Thanks for such a warm welcome to this amazing community. I’m currently limited on following, but I appreciate all the new followers and will follow you all back as soon as I can.
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Replying to @Shr00msy
Fuck that guy
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I dislike stupid people and being around them.
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Replying to @GovPritzker
Fuck off
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GM Still can’t follow back. Y’all have a great day.
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No, I don’t want to have dinner with your sister, BIL and dad. We just had dinner with them SIX FUCKING DAYS AGO. JFC
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Vacation was great but it’s good to be home
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Replying to @ChestyPullerGst
@ICEgov could do the funniest thing right now
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Snake got into one heat pump and a mouse in the other. JFC 🙄 Anyone want to buy a house?
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My son stole another of my @smcroasters t shirts. He’s telling his mom to shrink them so they won’t fit me anymore so he can have them. Little shit.
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Too soon?
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Replying to @RobProvince
He clearly thinks there should be 2 sets of rules based on his replies.
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Honored. Thank you Sir. @srsattern
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Replying to @WarPath2pt0
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Be me Call wife and say there’s nothing to eat Wife tells me to make chicken salad Make chicken salad Wife comes home and says I used the “wrong bowl” to make chicken salad
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My daughter had a message for y’all
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My face when my wife says she closed the gate.
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Replying to @svdate
You seem like a bitch
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GM I present twitter, in summary.
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Imagine being the dickhead who sits in the middle of 5 open seats, sees 4 people show up, and refuses to move to one end or the other. This is him. This is the dickhead.
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Replying to @ChicagosMayor
Jesus Christ dude, just when I think you can’t say anything dumber than you already have, you go and prove me wrong.
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Replying to @sandibachom
Stop! Don’t move!
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My wife admitted to scraping one of the wheels on my car. Soon to be single.
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Replying to @tmorello
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How’s everyone’s evening going? Good? Cool cool
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Kids making brunch together. Gotta love it.
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Replying to @Rep_Walkinshaw
The republicans don’t pass the ACA, which is the root of the issue, democrats did. You fucking liar
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Close. The. F’ing. Gate.
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Big Ben! Parliament!
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Look at my WIENER schnitzel
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Might eat both
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Look at my wiener (schnitzel)
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Replying to @mnsibley
Hit? No wonder that 3rd book is taking so long to write.
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I’m drinking tequila. Don’t ask me anything.
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Replying to @Oilfield_Rando
So on point. This is why republicans lose. Oh, and completely getting played by dems on the shutdown. Fuck.
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I made my own breakfast. Please clap. @ZenfinityDesign @ClaudesBBQ
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Thanks for the warm welcome. I’ll start following back a little at a time 😉. Y’all have a great evening.
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Replying to @RealTmDaddy
🤷🏽‍♂️
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It’s the best
Does anyone actually like Egg Nog?
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Sorry, I ordered the large veal Milanese
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Replying to @ReichlinMelnick
Holy fucking retardation.
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I’m bored. This is boring
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Officially fall now @ClaudesBBQ
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The charging handle, looking up at you after you poured olive oil on it, just before breaking it.
The un-updated grill on Thanksgiving morning watching you press the 'ignite' button.
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My guy, sorry you’re big mad I got served at the bar before you (and your loud obnoxious family). Also, maybe be nicer to the bartenders and try tipping.
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Go visit and stay with your friends. Enjoy their hospitality. Never turn down a meal. Take them to dinner. Leave more booze than you drank. Be a gracious guest.
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Cheers nerds.
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GM and happiest of birthdays to @DomesticCEOCat @ZenfinityDesign and @drsuffy Hope you all have a wonderful birthday.
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Replying to @SenTinaSmith
Yes, this is the first time in history a president has done renovations to the White House. If you idiots didn’t have disingenuous hyperbole you wouldn’t have anything at all.
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We live on a marsh. Don’t care who you are, you leave the door open for more than 13 seconds, you’re getting yelled at.
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Happy Veterans Day to all of you who took the oath. Thank you for your service, commitment and sacrifice.
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I live with savages
GM 2 dishwashers, yet every morning, this Confused
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GM
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Replying to @Tennesseine
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Evening
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Screw it, we ball
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GM Remember
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Yes, crotchety old lady who is staring at us as I sit at the bar with my son, he looks completely different from me. It’s called adoption. FFS.
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Replying to @RobProvince
As an advanced sociopath, Gavin is exempt from accountability or self reflection.
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Hey everyone, look at my TINY PINK DUCK! @smcroasters
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GM Have the Friday you deserve.
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People who drink whole milk have to put this sticker on their car
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GM NYPD’s new mounts are lit
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Getting a cold and have a 9 hour flight Saturday so I took a Claritin. Can’t remember the last time I did. File your requests for my stuff now.
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