My brother just posted a video of him deadlifting 650lbs on his IG story and his girlfriend immediately broke up with him 🤣🤣🤣
1,539
3,012
184,412
12,065,853
Nobody remembers what your job title is but they will remember how hot your wife is
50
1,523
21,294
986,392
Once, I got my phone stolen at E11even and was super upset and confided in this stripper about it. Later on, she lap danced my phone out of some random man’s pocket and returned it to me. God bless that big booty bih
27
1,083
20,825
484,730
all fun and games until no caller ID calls him 5 times while he’s in the smoke shop
41
83
5,251
222,319
Instagram going back to chronological follower order is about to hit like crack
11
149
3,365
168,308
All jokes aside- Nobu 57 is a hilarious place to people watch semi-expensive escorts flirt with the most disgusting men you’ve ever seen in your life
32
38
2,199
144,861
Why would a man have more than 1000 followers on Instagram??? Like ok Alix Earle
19
121
1,354
70,581
You could tell me I have 25 minutes left to live before watching this and I’d still crack the fuck up
8
34
823
46,009
caused a 3-car collision walking back from the beach for lunch with my massive rack out 😔🫰
39
6
602
45,880
Is it over for me?
-25 years old
-5’10
-135 pounds
-washed up athlete and model
-maxed out credit card
-deferred from law school again
-duel citizen
-insufferable bitch
-been to Miami and Ibiza in the past month
62
5
558
55,618
Currently putting together a slutty version of inter-dimensional Gary for my Halloween costume this year—
24
6
522
44,789
Men I do not trust:
-Men who are too into wine
-George Lopez
-Johnny Sins
-Benny Blanco
-Diddy
-Men who know how to pronounce niche fashion brands
-Bisexual Men
-My Moms first boyfriend after the divorce
39
10
511
462,654
Nobody understands how obsessed I am with this man literally grabbing the mic from a comedian he bought tickets to see purely to tell everyone he’s hot
1
2
479
27,999
Moe,
I don’t see how you can hate from outside of the club, you can’t even get in
Best, lexiiiiiiiiiiiiii
2
414
14,399
Flirting for no reason feels so good. I want nothing from this interaction but you’re so handsome, have a nice day
6
14
370
15,281
The actual gag is that MHG is actually a girl and we get lunch together sometimes on Wall Street and all you morons fell for the bit 🤣
15
1
348
153,687
Adderall just hit and I’m reminded I have real human emotions again. Time to text everyone in my contact list
14
14
298
11,803
Update: same intern just doxxed me at company happy hour in front of all my managing partners #BallUpTop
9
2
287
48,604
