big dumb baby boi, lil soupy man. 5th accounts the charm. RIP bobaganoush RIP 4ihavefreakedit RIP lilpoasterboi RIP LargeTweeterMan. gone, but never forgotten.
The Astral Plane/NYC
- Tweets 60,174
- Following 813
- Followers 1,522
- Likes 117,913
“Hot Ones” but instead it’s “Cold Ones” and i’m the host and we just sit at the table shootin’ the shit and drink beers that get us progressively more drunk
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YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE! IT WAS SAID THAT YOU WOULD *DESTROY* THE SITH, NOT JOIN THEM!
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soldier: SIR THEYRE ATTACKING WHAT ARE YOUR ORDERS
general tso: okay first of all calm down. u look famished. here try this chicken, it’s my secret recipe.
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nobody will remember:
- your salary
- how “busy you were”
- how many hours you worked
People will remember:
- her sister was a witch
- the wicked witch of the east
- she wore a crown and she came down in a bubble, doug
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as a white man the reality is not a ton will change for me regardless of who is in office but things will absolutely change for people i care about and for people who come from different backgrounds and for me that matters. for a lot of others it clearly does not.
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i didn’t feel great going into this and regardless of how it finishes, i am deeply uncomfortable with how many people in our country can think this person is fit for office. and worse is how many of my friends do. he is everything you would teach your children not to be.
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If there’s one thing for sure, those are in fact some of the football players in history
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it’s actually so wild to me that the walmart yodel kid is happily married and just had his 4th child
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we here in this house love when real human women have real human bodies we in fact find it very sexy on account of it is
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me and my absolute fuckin bois after i get the lil tattooed up shorty at the bar’s number
TransRacialAngel (Malik Willis truther)🇲🇽
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texted a friend who i’ve had sex with before at 130am last night if she wanted to do drugs and have sex. fortunately when she replied at 9am she was very cool and funny about it but also more importantly, receptive to the idea lmfao
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2 hours of no Shane arrival finally i dip out, as im leaving, walk right by him hit him with a “you’re the man shane” he gives me a double tap on the arm and goes “have a great one dude” hell yeah lmao
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AND YOU BEST BELIEVE IMMA BE BARKIN WHEN YOU GOT THAT TIGHT DRESS ON I SEE YOU LIL MAMI WEAR SOMETHIN TIGHT BABYYY OWW OWWWWWWWWW
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i would knock this guy out in round 1 and then bribe the ref to let me beat his ass for another 11 just to make sure he never gets up
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the hottest girl in the entire world is a slightly disheveled looking queen in trader joe’s
source: me, just now after falling in love no less than 12 times in the Trader Joe’s on 14th and A
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real talk, this kinda lame ass bullshit burners love to do that makes me wanna go full scorched earth. how big of a fuckin loser do u gotta be to tweet this shit simply bc you know nobody can *truly* retaliate bc ur live behind a made up internet identity. say it w ur chest pussy
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saturday plans:
- Wake up
- text every one of my boys "it's a bad day to be a miller light”
- sob uncontrollably about the direction my life has taken
- buss it down
😎
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anybody who defends SEC burners by being like “they’re just college kids” is an idiot. i wasn’t a woman hating racist piece of shit in college. it has nothing to do with them being in college. they’re legitimately bad people. who the fuck talks to women like that? pieces of shit
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no you fucking losers. it’s weird to be terrified of doing things alone. the people who think it’s weird are the pathetic ones. grow up u tiny little helpless children.
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gen z dudes might be the biggest fucking losers ive ever had the displeasure of coming across on here. needing to be misogynistic or racist or anything in that realm in order to be funny is such an extreme skill issue.
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YEAH NO FUCKING SHIT YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING DICKHEAD. YOU STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. TRIED TO RUIN MY LIFE BECAUSE OF STRAIGHT UP LIE. FUCK YOU.
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these people are gonna go to church on sunday and read a passage about the brown skin middle eastern jewish man teaching his followers to love their neighbors regardless of who they are and help those less fortunate and they will nod along in agreement with a straight face
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brianna chickenfry having some outdoor bevs in the east village should i go up and say “you know i like my chicken fried cold beer on a friday night haha like the song? u get it” im sure she’d love that
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when the youth (gen z) try to be like “why are you 30 and on twitter” it’s like bitch i’ve been here for 13 years, me and my team built this shit, get ur lil ass back to the playground the adults are poasting
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sitting in tompkins sq park rn. guy to my left drinking a tall boy, rippin a jay he just rolled. 2 girls to my right huffin darts w tall boys of their own. another guy further down the bench in a bike helmet throwing full shelled peanuts at squirrels. happiest ive been in weeks.
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i smooched a girl in the bathroom last night and then just didn’t pursue it any further and eventually just irish exited the bar lmfao idk man sometimes u just go where the wind blows i guess and the wind blew me out of the bar
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bro u gotta be a certain level of pyscho to go to a political convention and/or rally. u got nothing better to do with ur time than to go spin on a politicians meat?! that’s crazy
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imagine this is what ur thinking about when u graduate. your gotta be a huge fucking loser to be thinking about this shit when graduate. fuck man. what a fuckin loser.
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we used to play the wikipedia game in high school. essentially you pick two of the most unrelated things you can think of, like Sour Patch Kids & Gilgamesh, and you have to get from one page to the other only by clicking links available to you on the page
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out on sydney sweeney tbh. she’s hot but she’s not as hot as the world’s making her out to be. you know who’s hotter?? the girl reading this (dm)
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flats > drums
blue cheese > ranch
any disagreement and i will file a restraining order against u
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this picked up way more steam than i was expecting, so to whom it may concern, yes i have discovered that this already exists. no i didnt know before hand. multiple people can have similar thots. also mines different bc i’m hosting & it’s not in australia it’s wherever i am k thx
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i gotta stop following people under the age of 25 y’all are so fuckin dramatic lmfao bro it gets so much harder chill the fuck out
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my question is if any women around you suddenly feel drowsy and like they’re losing bearings on their surroundings?
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if you aren’t rooting for the ravens and lions today u hate me and u support terrorism
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sisyphus: yeah i’ll just take a beer
bartender: rolling rock okay?
sisyphus: do u wanna die today
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the third one in the trilogy gonna go crazy
A ‘PROJECT X’ sequel, titled ‘PROJECT XX’ is in the works.
The film will have a female-led cast.
(via @TheInSneider)
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