and gathering swallows X in the skies

Having a mysterious death at age 95 is actually impressive
Gene Hackman and his wife tested negative for carbon monoxide poisoning as their cause of death remains unknown. The actor’s pacemaker indicates he died on February 17 — over a week before he, his wife, and dog were found dead.
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4,359
156,556
4,167,049
A perfect pilot would land the plane
What TV show had a perfect pilot? I’ll start:
195
10,168
147,701
4,571,623
the way “rawdogging” has entered common parlance for anything done unassisted is vile to me, personally
447
1,541
64,514
4,468,075
Nathan Fielder descending through Dante’s inferno going “oh ok” to everyone’s stories
24
2,066
35,227
47
2,040
30,586
Me (lying next to 4yo as he falls asleep, thinking about the brevity of life and trying to impress this very moment in my memory for when he is grown): I love you 4yo (whispering very softly): Daddy you need a mint
9
506
25,417
2,500,465
24
1,914
20,720
581,173
25
1,031
19,646
919,459
I keep seeing this more and more… yet another sign of declining literacy: all these new children’s books with sing-song rhymes you can’t really perform aloud because there’s no effort to square the meter.
When the kid’s bedtime book rhymes but doesn’t scan
80
551
17,420
1,352,163
All due respect, I don’t think the two accomplishments are remotely similar
Did you know that Slimey won 5 gold medals at the Worm Summer Games on Sesame Street? He still has a ways to go before he catches Ms. @SimoneBiles though! #ParisOlympics #SlimeyInParis
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15,879
656,879
They call it the Windy City because of the Holy Spirit
8
1,006
16,674
273,027
30
537
13,402
716,334
Are you sitting down cuz I have some great news
11
290
8,128
420,683
what's the most exteme case of "guy/gal who made his/her mommy/daddy issues everybody else's problem"
12
530
4,111
123,114
Sorry but if this man was coming in to review my restaurant I think I’d notice
10
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2,514
that punchline
What's your favorite 30 Rock joke?
4
119
2,383
240,446
large triangular prism
What would you put in this space??
2
77
2,158
32,864
Death just died? Wow.
2
132
1,983
68,261
drew the ground too low
René Magritte, L'art de la conversation
5
82
2,001
38,385
the lion is jesus
11
105
1,649
57,168
The range here is a bit misleading. 29 is prime; the rest have some other divisor.
Your prime is 25-30, silliness to say otherwise
5
46
1,843
29,400
🚨AUGUSTINIAN ALERT 🚨
6
51
1,397
25,003
that sounds wild… i’ll stick with christianity though
1
1,247
24,695
Elmo, there is a God-shaped hole in your heart
Elmo wishes somebody was here to play with Elmo. ❤️
6
38
1,167
36,008
[arriving at Cocytus] Ice city over here
17
1,088
Hammurabi learned to code. What are you waiting for?
6
156
980
Oh you’re the first man? Name every animal
5
124
972
29,796
Replying to @bf_crane
Some people don’t realize that Middle-Earth is not a “sandbox” like the SW galaxy; it’s one autistic man’s attempt to play God of the Elf Universe, with every scrap and gap of lore just so
2
21
948
38,167
This is a funny mistake actually. Pope Francis is expected to “re-sign” with the Vatican for another 5 years. The cardinals were there to negotiate the contract.
Unusual activity at the Vatican as reports break that Pope Francis may be about to resign. (And we are there!)
Community note
While seeing numerous cardinals and priests around the Vatican is very common, this individual's unverified claims do not mention that the clergymen are in the city for the World Meeting of Families romefamily2022.com/en/ which takes place June 22-26. Additional context about the speculation: theguardian.com/world/2022/jun…
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When the kid’s bedtime book rhymes but doesn’t scan
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46
905
Wow this blew up! I have to confess, I’m not totally surprised. The tweet was rehearsed over dozens of times on select response groups, varying the posting time, syntax, orthogra
1
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588
Once heard a great homily on this that interpreted Job’s “new” family not as simply better replacements (which would be disturbing) but as a sign of Job’s courage to have children again after incalculable loss—knowing their lives are in God’s hands, but trusting in the Lord (1/2)
Replying to @Trey_Explainer
It always struck me that God didn’t bring back/resurrect Job’s original children. Like they just stay dead and the story happily concludes with Job getting new children. It just felt so callous, like they were just pawns in a game, not unique people with lives, dreams, & souls.
11
29
585
64,745
“to rise, perchance to grind” cycles through my head with regularity
what are posts that aren’t load-bearing anywhere but your personal lexicon. like the ones that weren’t really popular but are so enshrined in your mind that you just assume they got hundreds of thousands of likes
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30
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25,464
I prefer sea scrolls that haven’t died
1
56
525
19,920
2
43
498
18,444
2 days ago our 4yo heard "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" from his grandfather and since then it has become his entire personality
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14
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15,509
I came to this conclusion much earlier… just saying
BREAKING: World’s highest IQ record holder, YoungHoon Kim, has announced that he believes Jesus Christ is God, the way and the truth and the life.
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24
467
17,064
2
42
416
18,637
You don’t hear about “Duck Dynasty” anymore… maybe it was premature to think ducks capable of dynastic rule
1
43
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12,590
“You know how fans are sad that Bob Saget died? Believe it or not his family is also sad”
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GANDALF: I did not pass through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm ME (who passed through fire and death exclusively for that reason): haha yeah that would be so dumb
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7,985
you: looks like someone went to clown college me: (laughing that you think i am a mere student) it’s clown university and you are speaking to an adjunct professor
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31
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61,113
Calling on George to step aside and let Kamala write it
George R.R. Martin on speculation of the release date of ‘WINDS OF WINTER’ “When WINDS OF WINTER is done, the word will not trickle out, there WILL be a big announcement… where and when I cannot say.”
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32
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“Porky” Pig is a healthy weight for his size and kind
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15
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13,044
who bestows good gifts gratuitously. Job is blessed for his obedience and more prosperous than before, but life goes on and his suffering is never fully healed until the Resurrection, when his entirely family, new and old, will be reunited.
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4
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3,666
(scooby doo reciting the Litany against Fear) rear is the rind riller,
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29
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10,017
this came to me in an opium dream
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30
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Not doubting your faith brother, just not sure where you’re getting that from my OP… the idea that God came himself and spoke to us in the flesh is just the fundamental claim of Christianity (hence the silliness of the quoted tweet)
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Europeans are like “Deep in the 40.47 Hectare Wood,
1
14
220
6,842
to us in the tall community they’re just “tales”
3
17
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4,578
dyslexic Thomas Aquinas be like
“My dog teaches me to live. All he does is ‘be.’ ‘Being’ is his activity. And being is my most profound intimacy.” (Lispector, A Breath of Life)
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12,161
PSA: If you need medical advice do not type your symptoms into “Google Docs.” They never even responded. Worse than useless.
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19
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5,070
objects are still there even if you can’t see them for a second
As you got older you realised that what?
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6
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4,813
6yo: did you know whales were once land animals me: oh yeah? 6yo: until sin came
3
6
186
5,071
gaslight gatekeep girlboss
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24
168
If you have not become the Joker by 25 you have no heart. If you are still the Joker by 35 you have no brain.
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15
168
The Empire never even considered making a Life Star. That tells you all you need to know.
2
10
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3,748
*Odysseus puts one arm around Penelope, the other around Telemachus* What an odyssey it has been
4
11
158
Step into the same river
What is that one thing you will never do again?
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28
171
12,638
When someone tells me to touch grass
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11,623
LAPSED CATHOLIC: nice to meet you! ADULT CATHOLIC CONVERT: you as well!
1
10
161
6,436
“All I Want For Christmas Is You” is actually about St. Thomas’ mystical experience
2
9
158
“The age ensnares man with nudes in bio, lest he perceive the bio in every nude.”
1
27
152
10,967
One of my ancestors ate fruit because of a chat with a talking snake
2
5
158
4,293
I used to love this series as a kid but as I got older I began to realize they are actually just human children
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8
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surely there must be some country for old men
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15
150
6,414
people in the beatles will say anything. “we all live in a yellow submarine.” no we don’t. that isn’t true.
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3,737
I can’t remember why I stood up just now
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13
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5,768
“you have to stop posting bangers” too late, friend: you’re getting sausages in the mail
4
13
128
5,313
crazy what happened to Justin Martyr given his last name
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6
128
3,948
The Daerie Queene
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I did the Twitter circle thing and
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I think it’s great that MacIntyre’s philosophy is so rooted in the experience of “plain persons” but I am really looking more for a philosophy for hot people
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Tweets from AD 32
Defeating death would be humanity's greatest accomplishment.
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5,587
when he can’t distinguish essential and accidental features
The idea that all men are created equal is so preposterous that it hardly even merits refutation. Every day with our own two eyes, all of us see how absurd this claim is. Some people are smarter than others. Some are stronger. Others are taller, more beautiful, more athletic, etc. Some people discover the Theory of General Relativity or the Schrödinger Equation, while others are incapable of dressing themselves in the morning or tying their shoes. The Founding Fathers were categorically wrong when they wrote this line into the Declaration of Independence, and not even they themselves believed it. It’s the ultimate embodiment of liberal enlightenment thinking that sounds wonderfully elegant and makes you feel good for even uttering it…until this claim runs head first into the brick wall of reality. Now with all of that said, I understand why Joel takes the position he does. He believes, not without evidence, that it is dangerous to admit that no one among us is created equally. But that danger is not hand waved away simply by asserting something that makes you feel good while being fundamentally false (and which every single person alive understands to be false deep down inside). The greater danger lies in pretending that we do not already have hierarchies being imposed from above. What do you think we have now? There’s an entire ruling class of liberal elite already imposed upon us in every institution you can imagine, both inside and outside of government. The very thing Joel Berry fears has already come to pass, and this artificial hierarchy crushes dissent far more ruthlessly than kings could ever imagine. They also wield far more power than any king ever could either. These are the same people who have the power to tell us that urinals are art, that words are violence while actual violence is the language of the oppressed, that men can become women, and that mutilating children or killing them in the womb constitutes healthcare. The very tyranny Joel Berry keeps worrying about the Postliberal Right imposing has already happened to us. The problem is this tyranny cloaks itself in the same moralistic language that Joel just accepts without any pushback, and so he cannot condemn it as forcefully as he condemns this hypothetical Postliberal future without admitting that there is a fatal flaw in his own ideology.
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5,233
(crouched, inspecting body) “this fat man didn’t fall on the trolley tracks… (standing up) “he was pushed”
This FBI agent in Detroit has this many degrees
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31,154
Making it illegal for publishers to print books within the same series in different sizes and formats
Tell me your most radical position that cannot be placed on the left-right political spectrum
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4,581
Jesus Christ
Who alive today will be remembered 1000 years from now?
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3,097
You know how when you lose all your tabs there’s this initial spasm of horror that gives way to the feeling of relief that you’re finally free? That’s how the ancients felt when the Library of Alexandria burned.
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Did you ever hear of the ordo amoris?
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5,481
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GUY: yo do you know for whom the bell tolls JOHN DONNE: you better sit down for this
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(more respectfully) Young Woman-Fil-A
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2,161
No, Mr. Grinch; I expect you to die
1
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5,864
Flat earthers when they see a mountain
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The fact that it’s called “the ship of Theseus” and not “the ships of Theseus” gives the game away
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“a nothingburger” — trying to explain non-being to an American
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Sorry to be “that guy” but we won’t actually defeat covid until we deal with the underlying issue and eliminate every potential host. I know people are getting excited about things going back to normal but we still have a long way to go.
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meet the elite couples breeding to save mankind
3
7
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3,675
(comforting you after a tragedy) next time it’ll be a farce
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Men will never be free until the last pornbot is strangled with the entrails of the last AI priest
Introducing Father Justin, the New Interactive AI from Catholic Answers Catholic Answers, the number-one lay Catholic apostolate of apologetics and evangelization, is excited to announce the release of our new “Father Justin” interactive AI app. This innovative digital application employs the latest artificial intelligence technology to provide users with faithful and educational answers to questions about Catholicism. Seekers may also engage in a back-and-forth interaction to pursue further information with the 3D AI character. “Our goal with the Father Justin app is to leverage the power of large language models—or ‘LLMs’—to create an engaging and informative experience for those exploring the Catholic faith,” says Chris Costello, director of I.T. at Catholic Answers. “Although this is not a substitute for human interaction with a priest, teacher, or spiritual advisor, we believe it can be a valuable tool to help our users better understand and articulate the teachings of the Catholic faith.” The decision to use a parish priest character was purposeful. “We wanted to convey the spirit and nature of the responses users can expect—authoritative yet approachable, drawing from the deep well of Catholic tradition and teaching,” Costello explains. “We believe that the presentation of Father Justin honors real-life priests and the role they play in people’s lives, yet we are confident that our users will not mistake the AI for a human being.” The name "Father Justin" was chosen for this AI priest as a tribute to St. Justin Martyr, an early Christian convert and Church Father who is one of the patron saints of apologetics. The Father Justin app is available now on the Catholic Answers website, catholic.com. Users are encouraged to explore the app, utilize the search feature on the site for additional resources, and seek guidance from their local parish priests or spiritual advisors on serious matters or for further clarification. As a leading Catholic apostolate, Catholic Answers is committed to leveraging the latest technologies to advance its mission of explaining and defending the Catholic faith. The Father Justin app is the latest example of this commitment, providing a new and appealing way for searchers to begin or continue their journey of faith. Sign up for FREE to begin interacting with Father Justin here: ow.ly/wXH150RmtAN Note: At this time, Father Justin only works on desktop computer browsers, but we hope to release a mobile-friendly version soon.
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I don’t think the pope should be giving out MAGA gear
Who would you like to see get a red hat at Pope Leo’s first Consistory?
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name a fictional character that would’ve DEVOURED the met gala
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3,357
Lobbing “the Joker would get the vaccine” like a grenade into the discourse, no clue if it’ll make things good or bad or just a little twisted
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