Tv writer/Poker Player - not always in that order. Some heroes wear hoodies.
Fortress Of Saltitude
- Tweets 37,291
- Following 1,576
- Followers 14,328
- Likes 23,267
If my wife was out drinking for 8 hours one night with dudes named Rip and Airball and the next calling 130k w J high on a stream, I'd be collecting that 250k bounty.
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This hand was even worse than I thought after watching this. Dealer kills hand so fast and the guy even said he thought he won. If anyone think that interventions from a reporter on the rail witnessing an injustice/mistake shouldn't be a thing, ur a dipshit douche.
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If you tank 30 seconds pre flop to a single open and then fold you're essentially telling me it's ok for me to punch you in the face.
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Never once had a problem cashing out on ACR. Also, never once had an opportunity to cash out on ACR.
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For fucks sake you get Ivey, Durr, @RealKidPoker, @JenniferTilly,@GmanPoke, @BrynKenney on High Stakes Poker and they show 8 hands per episode. Make them 3 hours each already. So annoying.
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Enough of this Rio hallway nonsense! The animals selling chargers is one thing but having to stroll past James Woods holding a 22 year old Goth girl’s hand while telling Teach Aldridge a bad beat story just unbearable.
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2015 Poker Results:
Events: Too many
Cashes: Not enough
Cash%: Dunno.
Hourly: Gfy
Buy Ins: 250k plus
Payouts: Dust.
Profit: Maybe next year
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Just imagine being so rich you can comfortably check fold a nut straight in a 300k while making funny voices during the thought process. What a life @RealKidPoker.
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every year @cada99 shows up for the summer and either goes home with a bracelet or piles of cash all from huge field NL events, he never plays wpts or epts, he is the greatest of the modern era for understanding geographical run good theory and not tampering with it.
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One time in Bahamas in taxi to the airport driver could tell I played, asked if I knew Kessler, I said ofc, the guy starts sobbing said the year before he took him to the airport and he gave him a Venetian food court voucher as a tip. I felt bad and bought it off him for 50$.
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Pretty sure I saw Ike take off his mask to blow Bonomo on a break of the 300k in 2021 but I could be mistaken. It's possible he may not have taken it off.
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Rounders 2 idea: Worm goes on live at the bike wearing a hat and wins 60 buy ins. The community lynch mobs him on twitter as a cheater and he kills himself by jumping off Mo’s Shrimp Tower.
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Lot of talk about Leo Margets but congrats to @TheGrinder44 on being the first Jew to win the Main Event since 2023.
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Woman at the party I’m at just told me the only time she ever played blackjack she got 17 blackjacks in a row. Anyone know the odds of this? (Of getting 17 blackjacks in a row, not of me sitting next to a bullshitter in LA).
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Lost most of my chips today to a Brazilian platinum pass winner whose lifetime winnings don't total the buy-in of this event. But he was a lovely guy though and a great sport so if I can't take it down, I hope he makes a deep run and wins just enough to fuck up his marriage.
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Get moved to a new table in the 1k, religious Jewish guy asks me if I want to pray with him on dinner break. I say ok. 3 mins later I open jam 77s and he wakes up with AA and showers me. Can't make this shit up.
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Just ordered plain Mac and Cheese at Guy Fieri's only 7 bucks without the brisket. Best deal on the property.
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Play at the Wynn u see elegance and hot girls in bikinis, Venetian gondolas and fancy shops, breaks are pleasant and serene. Horseshoe, you leave that room and have to barrel out of there like fleeing a burning building and finally getting outside feels like Andy Dusfrene.
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Higher level scam? Married to lawyer, find spot to massively tilt @GmanPoker into thinking he was cheated so he tilt slanders her on social media, they sue Garrett for defamation.
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Watching this amazing Black Mirror episode where @phil_hellmuth is 5 handed at the Bike vs 4 fish and asks to look at chop numbers.
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Poker Go cash game should do a very special "All-Cheaters Week". Postle, Russ Hamilton, Men the Master, Jean Paul Pasqualini, Cedric Rossi, Christian Lusardi and someone masked using an unknown Stars screenname.
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Plea to the unvaxxed. It's a selfish move that's very detrimental to those w/major illnesses as you end up the ones overburdening the hospitals by denying or delaying those with serious conditions much needed care. So unless you have a good reason why not, maybe choose #Humanity?
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Better chance of them creating a $200 bracelet event and calling it The Corona than cancelling.
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Props to Seminole Hard Rock for warning guests about the invasion of tourney regs this week...
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Can't wait to berate this guy level 1 of Monster stack.
I bought my husband a trip to the WSOP in Vegas for Christmas this year. We’ve never been able to afford to go til this year. He was very surprised! @WSOP @RealKidPoker @phil_hellmuth @MagicAntonio @PhilLaak @PokerGO #poker #wsop
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Proposal for @wsop to have a replica 10k of the main starting on day 4 called The Pain and only eligible to those who didn't cash main.
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I dont know what's sadder, that the Hawk Tuah girl is in this line-up or that she's the only one I recognize...
THIS SATURDAY, August 31st, 6 PM PST, LIVE on @PokerGO Youtube ‼️
80 celebrities will battle it out on the CPT Poker Felt for Invitational IV! 🎥
Who are you most excited to watch? 👇🏽
#CelebrityPokerTour #Poker
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Got into my elevator with my dog to find a 22 year old in a see-through shirt and no bra smiling at me. I smiled back. Then she asked me if I know who @DanBilzerian is and says she's on her way to his halloween party. This is my suicide note.
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The Milly maker should really only be open to players who don’t have a milly. @WSOP
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he's a teenager in a funny photo, the only weird thing is you posting it saying he's weird.
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it's not on her Hendon but she once won a 650 player online event in Amsterdam blindfolded tied to a radiator with a ball gag in her mouth in a youth hostel during a power outage. Complete savage.
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Took an hour off twitter only to see the sad news about Mike Sexton. In all my poker travels, my favorite, fondest memory was from a night with Mike in Venice after day 1 of a WPT. Will share it this week sometime but he was the GOAT ambassador and loveliest man. Sigh. RIP.
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Enough is enough @WSOP.
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No offense Phil, but not sure you're firing on all cylinders today. He didn't "call off" he peeled, plus checking that flop is just...
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Asked @AllenKessler if he was going to Burning Man and he asked me what the guarantee was.
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Makes me sick to my stomach how good some kid from Kentucky runs.
Former Miss Kentucky charged with sending nude photos of herself to 15-year-old student cnn.it/2EjdEe8
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Skip the main one year and guys pull their cocks out, Kessler bags chip lead, universe has seismic shift, Ivey out in level one. #FixingTheSim
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In other news, Bryan Sagbigsal doing well in his first week as a CBS sports camera operator.
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After watching 20 minutes, i think Phil Ivey was forced to make his Masterclass at gun point and was using his eyes to tell us he’s in danger and in a hostage situation.
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GG buying Wsop sounds good until every river card is suddenly a slowly peeled 2 and 3 outer.
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Keep reading these life hacks that say you should spend your money on experiences over material things but what they fail to realize is that as you age you can’t remember anything so might as well have a nice house.
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What the hell is this sim we’re in? Nicky Palma's crushing poker, Negreanu goes full Dentale, Protential drops the n word in fits of rage, what’s next Ari Engel’s a serial killer?
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Shoutout to the @wsop for employing anyone to deal, no discrimination of age, aptitude or competency.
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The only marriage vow that should ever be said is assuring your significant other that you will make their gradual mental and physical decaying process fun. I don’t think a lot of young people grasp or commit to this inevitable reality.
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Currently banned but if they work as dealers next year for free they are eligible for reinstatement in 2027.
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Love how so many guys w less than 100k in lifetime have piles on day 6 of the main. No need to be intimidated firing the main if you're unseasoned or never won much, just find $$, get in there and battle, you never know when it's your moment.
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If you've ever thought about writing a screenplay or tv show, right now is the perfect time to sit your ass down and research the odds of how impossibly slim it is to ever sell and what a discouraging waste of time it'll be.
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Best thing for poker ever would be if @krissyb24poker ships the main. Make it happen girl. Gl.
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Excited for season 2 of Game Of Gold featuring Russ Hamilton, Mike Postle, Howard Lederer, Men The Master, Ali Imsirovic, Jean Paul Pasqualini, Robbi Jade Lew and the official special unveiling of MoneyTaker69.
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Floor comes to my table 95 left in tag team and is making a guy sub in his partner because the two players next to him complaining about his body odor. First literal #Showers I've ever seen.
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Hustler Live stream sure knows how to recruit some top tier scumbags. It's actually impressive.
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If you struggle with depression during the wsop help is always available by just playing at the Wynn.
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Yay!
Huge congrats to @msalsberg for winning the WSOP Main Event and getting his first ring at @CommerceCasino This was a fun one to watch and shoot! @pokerorg @KieroLovesYou @8131_Media @j_j_j_t_m I do love it here at Commerce 🥹
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You related to Jerry?
Online poker is legal in 4 states. The state-by-state rules are variable and push many players to offshore sites. We should clarify the rules and make it legal in all 50 states. US players and companies would benefit and new tax revenues could be used to mitigate addiction.
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You know those experts who advocate eating 4-6 small balanced meals a day to keep your metabolism up in order to lose weight, maintain energy, stave off hunger and burn calories more efficiently? Been finally able to test this method and the results are in - they're lying cunts.
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If looking for an edge in the lottery, choose numbers past 31 since a lot of the fish will choose family member's birthdays. Far less likely to chop this way. You're welcome. #ProTip
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what's the point of this? do u think the virus has been lingering on tourney chairs for 3 months?
Deep cleaning continues at The Commerce as our team steam cleans our tournament chairs.🪑
#stayhome #staysafe #weareallinthistogether
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I love what Bill Klein does for poker and humanity by giving away wins to charity but think he should put some broke players in these high stakes games and give them a shot to run their lives up. Would make the streams more interesting/meaningful.
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Got KK in pre vs Badziakouski AQss and he’s a pro so he found the magnet while I then wander outaide to breathe and see this immediately. #CosmicNeedle
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Feels like the stone bubble of 2020, gonna just nit it up all day to not get killed or covid by midnight.
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Pro tip: win a tourney the weekend before thanksgiving so your relatives can't call you a degenerate loser for a whole year.
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If Rip had 50% of her action as she claimed, you would think his face when she turned over J4 would be more similar to Garrett's look (even though she held).
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