i reside in va, ride in va, most likely when I die, I'm gon' die in va.
shot a man in reno...
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before you wind yourself up to get all sassy in my mentions....know I've likely already muted the thread.
since I don't care.
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I LITERALLY stopped working on my memo so I could read this indictment.
I am on page 24 and JESUS LUPITA NYONG'O CHRIST.
HOW this man still has the capacity to shock me after everything that's happened, i'll never know.
but I am sitting here *STUNNED*.
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There was a woman who worked at my job a few years ago who went on vacation to Europe. She'd saved up a bunch of days and was gone for a month.
When she came back she tendered her resignation. No notice. Just bounced.
Listen to me--
Iconic.
Her triumph is now office lore.
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Looked at that dead man's replies on his Twitter page for a long while.
The best I can offer (publicly) is silence.
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you look this beautiful bitch in her eyes and try telling her she's not a planet. nitter.app/CosmossUp/status/96877…
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i did NOT know how soul-crushing leaving your house to go to work would be.
my parents were always dressed when i came downstairs.
i didn't know there were these long stretches of time where you lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of reasons to call in, wanting to die. nitter.app/MichelleHux/status/842…
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they're not *just* social media trolls.
they are firefighters.
they are doctors.
they are judges.
they are COPS.
Ohio fireman suspended for saying he would rescue a dog from a burning building before saving a ‘n*gger’ rawstory.com/2017/09/ohio-fi…
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my dog's name is cooper.
i call him--
boubba
boub
honeybunny
coopypoopy
heyloverthisismorethanacrush
stinkboy
& sweetboy.
i use sweetboy the most.
i call this mfer "cooper" exactly 7% of the time.
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I know someone gets on this app and says it every day in some way, but it really blows my mind that ppl are just like.....pretending Covid is gone.
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Does everyone know that "literary" and "literacy" are not the same word? They're not even the same part of speech.
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The number of innocent ppl who plead guilty to things b/c they're scared, b/c they've run out of money, or b/c they are physically and mentally exhausted with being in jail b/c they couldn't get or afford a bond is something that will haunt me until the day I die.
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don lemon lives at
2018 Fuck This Shit Lane
Penthouse Suite
Fire Me From This Bitch, I Don't Give A Fuck 10001
USA nitter.app/HarryCFC_/status/95165…
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this was a DELIBERATE and CONCERTED effort to remove the most sensitive docs the country has, and KEEP them.........and then SHOW THEM TO PPL AT HIS LEISURE WHILE *ACKNOWLEDGING* THAT HE WAS NEITHER SUPPOSED TO HAVE THEM OR SHOW THEM....
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Friends-
If someone in law enforcement is attempting to interrogate you, and tells you you have the right to an attorney....exercise that right.
If someone in law enforcement is attempting to interrogate you and DOESN'T tell you you have the right to an attorney-
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You have to read the article to appreciate how cruel this is. Not only will it force the closure of approx 200 PPs, many of which are in states where abortion is legal, it will deny Medicaid to ppl who are there for cancer screenings, sti diagnosis/treatment, pre-natal care-
BREAKING: The Supreme Court allows states to cut off Medicaid funding to Planned Parenthood. apnews.com/article/supreme-c…
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cover myself up in a blanket-
rollllllllllllllllll from wall to wall, back and forth, until i was Dexter secure in the bedding-
and then will my body to cease breathing...
before i'd put MY NAME on some shit off the STRENGTH of Donald Gargamel John Trump's word.
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MEAN SUPER DUPER DUPER DOUBLE PINKY SWEARSIES REALSIES SECRET......WOULD JUST............
SPILL OUT ONTO THE GD FLOOR........AND LIE THERE.........EXPOSED FOR ALL TO SEE.........JUST.....NAKED AND BARING ALL TO THE WORLD LIKE A NATIONAL SECURITY FULL MONTY.
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SO 45 has his body man and his aides MOVE THE BOXES AGAIN. LIKE JUST..........SCORES OF BOXES........HE HAS THEM MOVE A GAZILLION BOXES AGAIN.......TO HIDE THEM FROM.......................HIS *LAWYERS*.
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AND AS IF *THAT* WEREN'T ENOUGH.....the Archives asked this MF fifty-leven times to give all this stuff back. and 45 would be all, "I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I GOT. DAMN. SHIT. THERE'S NOTHING HERE."
THEN HE WOULD HAVE HIS AIDES MOVE THE BOXES......
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oh.
btw...
i told my friend (who is a fancy gov't lawyer who rightfully thinks twitter is beneath him) that i always tell y'all when the feds come knocking at your door they've already been watching you for--
HE INTERRUPTED TO FINISH MY SENTENCE WITH "6 mos to multiple years."
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he haphazardly stored the docs ANY DAMNED WHERE........INCLUDING.........IN A GODDAMNED BATHROOM SHOWER.......they were chucked to some random room in Mar a lago, and occasionally the boxes----because there were SOOOOOOOOO MANY--would tumble down......
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AND HE WOULD TRAVELLLLLLLLLLLLL WITHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE BOXESSSSSSSSSSSS.
and some member of his family....ivanka or melania or lara......ALSO knew he had the boxes......
but he would TRAVEL WITHHHHHHH THEM. BECAUSE THAT WAS--PRESUMABLY--the ONLY WAY TO MAKE SURE HE KEPT THEM.
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and TOP SECRET DOCUMENTS.........DOCUMENTS HAVING TO DO WITH DEFENSE PLANS, MILITARY CAMPAIGNS, NUKES, YOU NAME IT.....DOCUMENTS *CLEARLY MARKED* "TOP SECRET" AND "SECRET" AND "CONFIDENTIAL" AND TWO OTHER DESIGNATIONS I'D NEVER EVEN HEARD OF BEFORE TODAY...BUT WHICH APPARENTLY
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and also, "this dingus just grabbed shit from the white house b/c he's too stupid to know he couldn't. he probably doesn't even realize what he has."
lol.
nooooooooooooooooooooope. noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope.
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BUT WHAT'S WILDER STILL............IS THAT THIS MF HAD LAWYERS WHO WERE LIKE, "Fam. For serious. You need to turn in ANYTHING that you have that is a file and belongs to the US Government. DEAD. ASS."
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AS IF THIS FEDERAL AGENCY.........WHOSE *CHIEF* RESPONSIBILITY IS *LITERALLY* TO *KEEP* THINGS......WOULDN'T KNOW.......THIS VERITABLE MOUNTAIN OF DOCUMENTS........WAS MISSING.
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I have to keep reading. but what i really need you to know....is that whoever drafted this is giving us NEXT LEVEL #caliber dorian corey shade.
because SPRINKLED THROUGHOUT.....are excerpts from quotes that donald trump gave the press during campaigns and his presidency-
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and 45 was all...TO THE LAWYERS.......TO THESE OFFICERS OF THE COURT...."couldn't y'all just tell them there's nothing here?" and "wouldn't it be better if we just.....kinda like.....burned all this shit...you know....if it were here....*hypothetically*."
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let me just stop for a moment, right here and tell you that i would *literally* die first...
i would ****literally**** ****DIE**** before i relied on that man's representations.
i'd lie down in the center of my living room floor-
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THEN when the lawyer shrugs and indicates that there's still some chester copperpot level shit in the box he's carrying, 45 MIMES taking out the secret stuff and disposing of it.....
MIMES.
WITH HIS WEE HANDS.
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boasting about how good he'd be at keeping this country's secrets safe...how we needed a return to discretion and how ppl who violated national security laws and breached the protections afforded our most sensitive docs needed to be punished with the
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and 45 is like, "OHHHHHHHHH! Right. Cool. Coolcoolcoolcool....cool. Come on through, then. I'll see you tomorrow."
Then he hung up.
AND HAD HIS BODYMAN MOVE MORE BOXES.
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then he was like, "you got this subpoena on may 11. i'm coming through on the first of the month to run through that WHOLE SHIT...and i'ma make SURE *NOTHING* that belongs to THESE UNITED ASS STATES is in that garish monstrosity you pretend is a house."
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I'll be honest--
b/c i really DO lean into naivete sometimes. it's difficult for me to assume the worst from ppl, even when they have done all of the worst things.
so this wholllllle time, i've been thinking, "wonder why he didn't give back those docs. he's probably lost them."
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and 45 is like, "on my mama."
so the lawyer brings the other lawyer in, and is like, "this is it. this is everything. so you can safely put your good name and your good Bar ID number on this super official sworn statement. b/c 45 said this is it and we've complied."
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It's not lost on me how often white people attempt to draw parallels between their pet issues and slavery--between their pet issues and the struggle for civil rights. Very telling how the worst thing white people can conceive of...is how they've treated Black people.
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some free advice--
i don't do family law (b/c i value my sanity). but there are many times when family law and criminal law overlap. i hate those times more than anything. and i am *currently* in one of those times.
so, if you are going through a divorce or separation--
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imagine thinking the first person active present is "incorrect." imagine using your cloven hooves to scour the earthen floors of what i can only presume is an underpass burrow for a stylus--only to "correct" someone's already-perfect use of the modal auxiliary verb "can."
You’re going to need more school than that. 👌🏻
Your spaces are off too...but hey, how can we hold you accountable for kindergarten level sh*t, am I right?
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I genuinely hope, that if, over the course of these twitter years, you have taken but ONE THING from EVERYTHING I've EVER told you...
It's to not lie to the Feds.
DO NOT LIE TO THE FEDS.
Just decline the interview and get indicted on whatever they've got.
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the lawyer goes, looks around....and finds 38 things that were top secret.
and, honest to God....i think they left that stuff there deliberately so that it wouldn't look like they'd cleaned house.
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then they subpoenaed video surveillance from Mar a Lago......
BECAUSE OF COURSE.
and what do they see?
the bodyman and the aides NOT ONLY MOVING BOXES........but MOVING BOXES ONTO A PLANE...
AND THEN THAT PLANE TAKING OFF......WITH TRUMP IN TOW.......FLYING AWAY FOR THE SUMMER
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AND THENNNNNNNNNNNNN....THE NIGHT BEFORE THE DAY HIS LAWYER IS SUPPOSED TO COME THROUGH......HE CALLED HIM.......AND WAS LIKE, "Aye, dawg. You still coming tomorrow? I was sitting here talking to the homies and like...we don't know why you're coming. Why are you coming?"
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so the lawyer packages up what's left......goes back out, and 45 has the AUGODDAMNEDDACITY TO BE LIKE, "Wassup? How are we lookin'?"
HAND TO GOD, this man says, "Is it good? is it bad?"
AS THOUGH HE HADN'T DIRECTED EVERYONE TO CLEAN HOUSE.
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exercise your right to remain silent. But do that AFTER saying you want an attorney.
I always think I don't have to say these things, and then I take a call where someone did a lawyerless interview with the feds for four hours.
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aren't supposed to. SO IF THERE IS ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS HOUSE, TELL ME NOW. CAUSE SHE'S COMING WITH AN OFFICIAL ASS PAPER THAT I AM TENDERING TO THE FEDS....AND WE DON'T LIE TO THE FEDS...SO IS THIS IT, DONALD?"
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and the lawyer was like, (*presumably deep sigh here*), "I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I'm coming through to move through the house and make sure i can tell them we complied with the subpoena. i'm gonna make sure you don't have anything you're not supposed to. Okay?"
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so the lawyers turned that weak ass certification in.......and told the NATIONAL ARCHIVES RECORDS ADMINISTRATION.........THE ENTITY CHARGED WITH THE TASK OF MAINTAINING OUR COLLECTIVE MEMORY AS A NATION.......
"that's all we got."
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The older I get, the more I realize how many ppl are performing things.
And like.....*lots* of ppl are performing things.
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lol..........soooooooooooooooooooo the DOJ sent them boys in.......
and the windbreakers searched that stucco, Mediterranean-style abomination from top to bottom......
and found 100+ more protected docs.
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there's a breakdown of the stuff they found.
my.
word.
every time i see the words "concerning military capabilities of the united states," "concerning nuclear weaponry of the united states"-- i just....
WOW.
WOW.
WOW.
WOW.
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I'm gonna try really hard not to quit my job....
But listen.
I could absolutely quit my job any second and not spare anyone or anything a backwards glance.
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DOES THE POPE HAVE A CHILD I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?!?!
The Pope says couples who choose to have pets over kids are "selfish" trib.al/TTXGd09
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this is the bodyman.
if the past is indeed prologue, and we draw from my favorite episode in american history ever, brought to us courtesy of messrs. mitchell, haldeman, ehrlichman, colson, hunt, and liddy-
HE goes DIRECTLY to jail, and 45....well...doesn't.
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ch-
the lawyer went to mar a lago, and 45 and his aides were just sitting there, like, "oh yeah. this guy wants to make sure we've turned all the stuff in. somebody take him back to the room and make sure he's comfortable."
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Lmaoooooo.
I'd spend every dime I have to watch Budden sit in absolute quiet while Envy pitched him this bs for 10 minutes....only to be like, "Everything you just said to me is a crime. No. When you opened your mouth to start talking, all the words that fell out were felonies."
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the lawyer apparently ignores it, and is like, "okay. i'm gonna being in last lawyer and i'm gonna tell her that i went all the way through everything you said you had. then i'm gonna tell her that what i'm holding RIGHT NOW is the last of ANYthing that you have and
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You can beg for grace later. There are literally mechanisms in place for ppl who come clean and are helpful to them down the line.
Just decline the interview.
But DO. NOT. LIE.
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The best thing about seeing somebody at their job in a du-rag is the implicit messaging that they have some place better and more important to be than this dump.
Lol.
Love that.
Keep those waves fresh for later, King.
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OMG.
Worked so much I almost forgot what day it was!!!
My 3rd favorite meme in the history of all Twitter:
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reminder that 45 is modifying schumer's name w/ "cryin'" b/c he became emotional when discussing family who perished....in the holocaust.
Cryin' Chuck Schumer stated recently, "I do not have confidence in him (James Comey) any longer." Then acts so indignant. #draintheswamp
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"if a sneak start leanin'
and the heat stop workin'
then my *heat* start workin'-"
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i just want everyone to know that arya wearing her hair like eddard stark is one of my favorite little nothing details ever.
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A man tried to steal an election (we have LITERAL recordings AND the testimony of his CO-DEFENDANTS), incite an actual coup (we WATCHED it on TV), and was cool with the potential lynching of his own vice president.
So you can see how I might argue that these "Harris was a
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There's a bigger talk to be had about how "middle class" white ppl make this mistake the most...second only to non-white immigrants looking to align themselves w/the white "middle class"--
And I get the why.....but it doesn't make it any less fascinating.
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LISTEN..... I just told myself "You can be quiet. You can just be quiet."
That's all I got.
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JK Rowling is worth one *billion* dollars.
And the ONLY thing she wants to do is spend every waking moment of her life sticking a flashlight up ppl's skirts.
I don't give a damn what you believe. That is weird as shit. Full stop.
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REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY?!??!?!?!
so the plane WON'T blow up then, i take it?
we're not all sitting ducks for wanton acts of international terrorism effectuated by fluid?
that was incorrect these............................19 years?
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I know that EVERYBODY loves graduation day and that we're all super proud of our babies...
But Black ppl from every walk of life TRULY love the shit out of graduation.
And I love that love so much.
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first of all.....i HOLLERED into the night at the very end.
SECOND of all-- one of my absolute favorite things about being a woman.......is instinctively reverting to this voice whenever men......men.
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i don't even have time to address everything i need to address here. i don't even have time to say all of the words that are housed so deeply within my spirit. i can't even think of a time when i was forced to keep this many jokes inside of me.
After GOP donors threatened to stop funding him for being unmarried, Tim Scott is now appearing publicly with who he says is his girlfriend named Mindy. He says they have been dating for “about a year or so.”
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My lawyer tip for the day is that your phone should be pw protected.
No thumb print.
No facial recognition.
Straight up password protected.
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I promise I didn't know T*r*y L*n*z meant so much to so many of y'all.
Like...y'all are defending that man with your whole CHESTS.
No idea he'd fathered so many sons.
But here we are, I guess.
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So....
Just so we're clear, if I or one of my clients disobeys a court order......
we go to jail.
So....
right.
Full on constitutional crisis it is.
DOJ misses judge's deadline for revealing plan to return Abrego Garcia from El Salvador prison cnbc.com/2025/04/11/doj-blow…
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and i was like, "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING THEM!"
and he was like, "these ppl aren't bullshit local cops. they are lawyers and forensics experts and everything else. when they're at your door they've got you."
and i was like, "i keep trying to tell them."
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don lemon is the "dumbest man on television."
maxine waters has "a very low IQ."
and it isn't easy to make lebron james "look smart."
here's what's weird...
i *feel* like all three of these people have something in common, but for the LIFE of me, i don't know what it is.
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My bestie's 7 month old daughter was WIDE awake at 5 am, this morning. I climbed into bed with them, snuggled close to the baby's belly and whispered, "if it's up/ then it's up/then it's up/ then it's stuck."
Then my bestie gently maneuvered the child from my arms and said "No."
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I do not have a plan for 4 more years of this administration.
Whatever is inside of me that's holding itself together will completely break apart.
I just need to say so.
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Everybody hates Brian Williams, but I swear to God, the man makes me laugh until my sides hurt.
I used to think he was so dry, but alllll he does is take shot after shot.
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so i've told you that my mother has taken up substitute teaching in her retirement.
this year, she was a long term sub for a particular elementary school, and came to know many of the children quite well.
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One of the most adult things you can do.....is eat the food in your house when you don't want the food in your house.
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imagine being this mad about knowing SEVEN WEEKS IN ADVANCE that starbucks is going to be closed..............for one day.
it's weird...
i, lowkey, don't think this is about coffee.
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Whole TL is like:
The Hound.
Polliver.
Raff the Sweetling.
The Tickler.
The Mountain.
Ilyn Payne.
Meryn Trant.
Joffrey.
Cersei.
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and a JUDGE issues an order around custody and visitation.......whether it be part of a PL hearing or a final decree....
FOLLOW IT.
DEAR GOD.
FOLLOW IT.
i don't care if you and your partner are suddenly getting along and decide the pair of you no longer need it.
FOLLOW IT.
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THEN he was like-
"but did you tell them that before the feds even start watching, MY agency and the OTHER agencies have been watching them FIRST....since WE make the referrals to the FBI---did you tell them THAT?"
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