As I reflect on 2023, what a ride this year has been ...
This was without a doubt the toughest year for me both personally and professionally.
I was plagued with a lot of health issues, both mental and physical health, causing me to have to leave the company I co-founded.
A lot of the mental health stuff stemmed from a change in the company that really messed me up. Both good and bad changes. Mainly good for everyone else. Just not for me because I couldn't deal with them properly.
Combining this with some health issues and stuff at home, I eventually became such a wreck that I had to take a leave of absence.
Most days I couldn't get out of bed and I was having anxiety attacks daily.
Thankfully I found an 8 week program for depression and anxiety that changed my life. It was really hard to be away from my family. But it was ultimately for the best.
Through this experience I learned better skills to deal with stress and was able to figure out where a lot of the issues with depression I had were stemming from. If you're going through something similar, I highly recommend checking out a DBT skills group.
I finally started to care about my future and look forward to it, which motivated me to dig even deeper to focus on my physical health.
I'm proud to say that I no longer have type 2 diabetes and high-blood pressure. I'm also down 50 lbs from where I was at this time last year.
What I'm most proud of though, is that I'm finally becoming that partner and father I've always wanted to be, but didn't know how.
Unfortunately, to keep this up I knew I wouldn't be able to return back to the agency I co-founded.
It sucks and makes me feel a little broken still. But I'm learning to love that thing I wish would've never happened, because it got me here.
What's next for 2024? I'm not sure ...
I just know that I've put work and other selfish behaviours first for so many years that now with whatever I do I want to make sure I'm putting my family and my health first.
So far I've had a few false starts which has helped me realize that I'm not really employee material.
If you're ever going through something similar please feel free to reach out to me anytime. I'm here for you.