Doctor of Etymology. The smartest guy you know. Follows, Retweets, Likes, and Endorsements are not endorsements even if explicitly stated other wise.

Pizza Town, PA
This moment from The Simpsons remains evergreen.
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Replying to @CowGirlKisser
Europeans faint a the sweltering temperature of 79掳. They cannot be trusted tk understand the severity of our weather.
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Replying to @Hoppydoesntread
I like the implication that Shaggy either evaded arrest or simply died before he could be apprehended.
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Replying to @coldhealing
POV: your wife is a bitch.
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Replying to @Telepeturtle
Dude your entire career is drawing softcore pornography.
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Replying to @reddit_lies
If you ever read reviews of Lolita, you'll notice that all the people who think it's a legitimate romance novel instead of a psychological horror are women.
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Replying to @Akumabat
There is no conceivable reality in which Peter Parker is able to afford a Five Guys burger.
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Replying to @DeclouxJ
The law didn't even work the way he said he did. So he was straight up just commiting statutory rape.
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Replying to @ShitpostRock
The man who doesn't like pickles on his burger longs for the woman who really like and will eat those pickels.
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Replying to @u_m_a_m_i
Is your gym located within the confines of a Tom and Jerry cartoon?
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Replying to @fleshsimulator
I knew a Korean kid who was adopted by a black couple and they just named him Isaiah but when he turned 13 they let him change his name and he changed it to Guitar Hiro.
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Replying to @DanBoyWonder
Ben using a racial slur is not only not "out of pocket" but is totally in character.
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Replying to @Bizarnage
Actually Venom is the name of the movie.
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Replying to @realwow_mao
People just forget that Tel Aviv is just like if LA was surgically removed from the west coast of the US and dropped in the Middle East.
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Replying to @horseimage
Imagine you're at work at a hot naked chick walks out of the forest and starts kissing you.
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Replying to @ComicLoverMari
They should take their shirts off and make out.
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No, just go watch El Tigre. It's fucking amazing.
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Replying to @LinkedInLunat1c
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Replying to @KingIcespike
Remember, Valve isn't doing anything difficult. The reason why other companies don't have this good for customer service is because they hate you.
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Replying to @ShitpostGate
I see the consequences of the Holocaust whenever I file my taxes.
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Replying to @ShitpostRock
You hate Ghost because it's Scooby Doo chase music. I like Ghost because it's Scooby Doo chase music. We are not the same.
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A lot of those old "trolling" videos were just grown men harassing autistic children.
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Replying to @DanzW0rld
Flour, butter, sugar, eggs, and chocolate chips should be EBT eligible. Cookies should not.
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Replying to @GodfreyGGleeks
Years ago on the creepypasta wiki there was one story called "Jeff the Killer vs. El Chapo" and one of my biggest regrets in life was not reading it before it was taken down.
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Replying to @ShitpostRock
Most Australians live right next to the cost. And yet all the movies are set right on the middle of Australia. This makes me think that the world is actually totally fine, and that it's just a select few lunatics who just refuse to actually travel to the ocean.
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Replying to @AnimeSerbia
I don't know if this is a joke or not but if you look at the full photo of him he's wearing sandals and only one sock and that's the bigger mystery.
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Replying to @FunfactsSp39773
See what I mean?
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Replying to @gothicscully
Because their music sucked.
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Replying to @rexkuu
Most of my generation (Z) and the generation after (Alpha) have been neglected to a degree that is incomprehensible.
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Replying to @uncle_deluge
In a bold move Harris announced that JD Vance will also be her VP if she wins.
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Replying to @bugtrio
Parker having a no kill rule because he saw how much regrets Ben has from the war.
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Replying to @kaltenbrunnart
You're comparing the Europeans of yesteryear to modern Eurotrash.
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Replying to @maenadea
I mean if they actually put legitimate articles on porn sites it would drastically increase the literacy rate.
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Replying to @SkywarpBuilds12
"Um, my fellow Americans, um..." *bombs a preschool*
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Replying to @okimstillhungry
This is the kind of shit Shaggy and Scooby would set up and while they're setting it up the monster would just walk through a different doorway and start handing them furniture to start adding to the pile.
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Replying to @Duderichy
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Replying to @NINtendo_maya
Yeah and during the moment of silence for Vic Morrow, and the two children; Myca Dinh Le and Renee Shin-Yi Chen, John Landis went on a long tirade about how his career was over and how he'll never recover from the incident. Also, Landis would later sign the Polanski document.
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Replying to @nocontextmemes
My uncle ran over a bank robber with us truck. Dude had cancer so he figured he might as well rob a bank. Would've made of with like $25k. My uncle thought the bank would give him some of the money but they just sent him a toaster as a gift. He went on the radio to complain.
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Replying to @ManMilk2
Based on that flag I'd assume he got obliterated as a kid.
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Replying to @paleonormie
Also Hell isn't for bad people it's for bad people who actively refuse to admit that they're bad. Like you're expected to fail, and fail constantly. That's why God's mercy is so important.
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Replying to @jschlatt
People don't know this was a joke.
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Replying to @Maczthealien
The funniest way imaginable only for Ethan to constantly try and kill the bit.
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Replying to @_1os3r
The fact that you think he's literally Hitler and all you're going to do is piss and moan on a website owned by his clique's token spastic is fucking pathetic.
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Replying to @deathink_art
If by "dumb kid" you mean an adult women, then yeah, it is really funny how eveyone made fun of her for being happy that someone's rights were violated.
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Replying to @ShitpostRock
Killing the best follower in the game for a piece of armor that's enchanted is basically a shittier version of the flamecloak spell and two pairs of boots you get from two separate factions.
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Replying to @DocStrangelove2
There's this one guy with Downs Syndrome in my area who drives a lime green 1967 Pontiac Firebird 400 coupe. Like that's all he does. I once tried to ask him what he does for a living he just said "I go where I'm needed" before driving away.
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Replying to @Wendigoon8
Note; he just did something that the Completionist said was totally impossible to do and would ruin his career if he talked about it.
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Replying to @venturasoul
Years ago I was hanging out by the river with some friends and we saw a wild pitbull just rip a goose to shreds and as it was screeching and dying a homeless guy walked up and asked if we were listening to dance monkey.
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As it turns out constantly spamming everyone's posts with meaningless dog shit makes everyone want you gone.
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Replying to @BluebriarArts
People who think this are very obviously coping because they all have yet to explain actually what that means.
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Replying to @aatracoes
Give credit to @baalbuddy
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Replying to @sunlovesshark
A lot of people seem forget that a core part of Rodrick's character (along with Greg and Frank) is that he's a loser. He's not cool and his music sucks. That's what makes him funny.
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Replying to @DarkOddCon
It doesn't help that every single MGMT song has lyrics like: We are the guards of a new world order We are the soldiers the legion of light We are the center the depth of the sun Fire and flams we are one
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Replying to @TMinath15521
See what I mean?
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Fallout 4 should've doubled down on the Mafia/Nior aesthetic and had it's signature armor be some sort of reinforced trench coat.
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Replying to @adultmomband
"They can just trace the outline and use a crude approximation of your key to open the lock!" Yeah, and they can just buy a lock pick set on Amazon for like $4. Or just throw a rock through the window for free.
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Replying to @DelusionPosting
That's not how court works. Like if you take someone to court, *you* have to prove that they did something wrong. And you can't prove that God doesn't exist.
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Replying to @fleshsimulator
I know we like to joke around here in the Flesh Simulator replies but I legitimately believe that anyone who does this should be crushed into a meat cube with a hydraulic press.
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Replying to @matthewokay
Ahahahah ahahahahahahahaha Hahahahahah ahahahah hahaha
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Replying to @EddieMcstriplin
I mean it's like not a topless woman in overalls is my favorite thing in world or anything.
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If I had $2 billion I'd probably just move to a slightly nicer apartment and live the exact same way. And like once a year I'll do something wacky like rent a helicopter or something.
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90% of the Simpsons is an archetype that doesn't exist anymore. Everyone just became the Comic Book Guy
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Replying to @fleshsimulator
Haven't you learned anything from last time? Don't help homeless people. They're all bad people. Especially the ones that aren't physically homeless but are spiritually homeless (like collage kids).
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Replying to @InsaneCope
Holy shit it's him! It's the guy from the meme!
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Replying to @Pirat_Nation
Fallout 3, New Vegas, and Fallout 4.
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Replying to @Pepsi_FACC
Doom out here ruining Reed's life with the power of weird science, demonic magic, and cocomelon.
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Replying to @SkiSB129
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"Can you believe that this videogame that nobody owns has a 17 year old flash her tits for two seconds? That shit's evil. Anyway, on tonights episode of Dark Web Browsing, were gonna look at a site where you can have an 8 year old shipped to your house in a box".
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Replying to @wylfcen
"Those who don't work, don't eat".
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Replying to @SuperBoJackson
Wait until they find out what Tomar thinks of black people. I heard he wants to gather them up and cook them in a big witch's cauldron.
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Replying to @reddit_lies
It's even funnier when you remember that Obama doesn't play or even like basketball and just pretends to for black credit.
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Replying to @OnRecordIndia
If you don't like it then leave. This is America. We are a Christian nation.
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Replying to @ranmasaotome96
I would watch it muted and just skip all the scenes that Kat Dennings's boobs weren't in.
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Funny how the fraud talks start on the blue side now that they've lost.
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Replying to @Yeenie_Mcbeenie
It's crazy because Wendigoon explicitly says multiple times throughout the video that the Judge *is* Satan and that he represents the absolute depravity that man is capable of. They didn't even watch the fucking video.
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Replying to @trevorcrumbo
Why didn't Curly, the largest Stooge, simply eat the other three?
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Replying to @Undoomed
"What are y'all going to do once communism is achieved?" Road Pirate. The country may fall, but road culture will survive.
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Replying to @NostlalgiaNov
They could have just leaned into the bit but instead they chickened out like cowards.
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Replying to @DeclouxJ
They didn't even need to do that. Like they could have just made her 18 or 19 and him 20 or 21 and Mark Wahlberg could still be over protective.
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Replying to @LavenderGhast
Me when its 20XX and I hear president Keemstar announce that America has surrendered to the extra-dimensional invaders after 7 gruelling hours of fighting.
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Steven Universe has what I call Vapid Positivity. It preaches a general mission of "good vibes," where as Smiling Friends is all about fixing very specific cases, which is how being positive should be.
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Replying to @Brad_R_Lee
I mean random chance over a long period of time will inevitably get results, assuming the results are possible within the set rules (physics). Like Atheism isn't an unreasonable belief, it's just that Internet Atheism is gay and retarded.
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Replying to @romlib_
Here's your "republican."
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Replying to @civilfallout
Counterpoint: Maxson is dead because I liked his coat more than I liked his writing.
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They get to appear cool and tough on the internet so they can sell dick pills. The pedophile gets to go home and plan his next child heist. It's a win-win. Now do you understand why this macho shit is fucking retarded and harmful?
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Replying to @0Thecgiguy
The funny thing is that Afton lost his humanity long before the spring lock failure. He lost it when he left a little girl dead next to a dumpster behind a pizzeria.
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Replying to @DrewPavlou
Remember; in real life when Trump got shot he immediately stood up, started fist pumping, and then demanded to be taken to McDonald's before going to the hospital.
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No one's clearly wearing a uniform.
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Replying to @_NamelessGoon
"You're not him. You'll never be him."
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Replying to @screentime
Superman 0.3 seconds after beating Omniman's ass so hard Mark started calling him dad.
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Replying to @OpenBordersJon
Do you think that being owned by porn star means it's acceptable to kill it?
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Replying to @ViceApologist
I haven't watched it since it was first released but I still know what happened. Alien butterflies tried to take over the planet while Peacemaker had to deal with his terrible father.
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Replying to @dyingscribe
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Replying to @ShitpostRock
Because the *actual* sentient race of Black Marsh, the Hist, saw a bunch of humans and elves with massive tits walking around and said "we want in on that" so they took some lizards and gave them tits. I'm not joking.
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Replying to @meme_space_nine
And on top of that, he has a cute little bit with Hasan, one of the most prolific content thieves on the entire Internet.
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Replying to @ShitpostRock
In the books it's explained that she gives good head.
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Edd would've thought that tweet was hilarious.
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