Chief Strategy Officer, Human Made Machine | Author, Web Analytics 2.0 & Web Analytics: An Hour A Day | Newsletter: zqi.me/signuptmai
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Every analyst believes in the mantra "Give me insights or give me nothing!"
I'm saying: Stop providing insights. All you are doing is telling leadership: "Water is wet."
Switch to providing "out-of-sights!" Change the game.
My new post on Occam's Razor: zqi.me/outofsights
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The colors that represent America... So proud...
Suni Lee
Simone Biles
Jordan Chiles
Grace McCallum
#diversityisstrength
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Biggest Music Stars in the world:
1 Ariana Grande
2 BTS
3 Justin Bieber
4 Bad Bunny
5 Billie Eilish
6 Maluma
7 Dua Lipa
8 Pop Smoke
9 Karol G
10 Blackpink
I've not heard of 5 of them. :(
Clearly, I need to stop spending so much time working.
is.gd/r8Apb1
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Go Kim GO!
#byebyekevin
I am the Democrat running against Republican Kevin McCarthy. I am a United States Air Force Veteran, Democrat and a single mother. This is my first TV ad. Please retweet it to help me win
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For the nth time, someone pointed out I'm losing hundreds of followers, just this past wk, and said I should shut up about politics.
Here's the thing:
If people with a platform don't speak the truth to "protect their brand/biz," liars win.
Fewer followers are a small price.
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If Tech needed any additional reasons for humility...
Mar 1998, Fortune: “How Yahoo! Won The Search Wars.”
Feb 2007, Guardian: “Will MySpace ever lose its monopoly?”
Mar 2007, Forbes: “Nokia. Can Anyone Catch The Cell Phone King?”
#innovateordie #usersfirst #irrelevanceisreal
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I was asked this question: How do you feel about losing 4,000 twitter followers since you started to become "political" and talk about BLM?
Why don't I let @JimGaffigan answer that for me...
#lifelibertyandthepursuitofhappiness
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27 incredibly useful things you didn’t know Google Sheets could do is.gd/0IlSsZ
Live data: =IMPORTHTML(“sitelink”,”table”,1)
Clean up: =ArrayFormula(TRIM(A2:A50))
Tiny charts! =SPARKLINE(E12:E23,{“charttype”,”column”})
My fav: =GOOGLETRANSLATE(A1,”auto”,”en”)
#pro
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Life is complex, simplifying it to pithy metaphors is tough. But, try this one by @LCNM99.
If your child hits another with a stick, do you:
A. Give everybody sticks
B. Give certain kids sticks, who are adept with sticks to defend everyone else
C: Take away the stick
Choice?
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Chrome trick for you. Easier search of your bookmarks:
1. Setting
2. Manage Search Engines, click
3. Click ADD
4. Search Engine: Bookmarks
5. Keyword: cb
6. URL: chrome://bookmarks/?#q=%s
Now go to address bar, type cb, hit tab, type search, find your long lost bff sites!
:)
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Mindblowing tech:
Full body electrostimulation, by Exopulse Mollii, simulates opposite muscle to muscle in spasm, causing a natural reflex mechanism using 58 electrodes.
Translation: Kevin who suffers from severe shaking attacks, can lead a normal life!
t.ly/2yn3
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I'm tired to saying this, but one more time...
Marketers, just because you can measure something does not mean you should!
In fact it might be the best way to show your ignorance.
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If the product is great... Every Marketer involved is a genius (regardless of strategy).
If the product sucks,.. F'ing marketing can't sell anything to save their lives!!!
: )
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This blew up... Here's my Soundcloud, please chip in if you can...
wfp.org
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I've watched this 10,000 times already!
Have a joyful weekend y'all.
(Source: t.ly/bO6C)
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Will *any other* western democracy react this way?
Prime minster paying respect to victims, wearing a hijab in solidarity.
Its ACC program to provide financial support for 2 years, regardless of immigration status.
Cover funeral costs.
Banning semi automatic guns. #kiwistrong
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A lesson you have learned, rarely follow... because you did not have a sweet graphic posted in your cubicle... let me fix that... you are welcome.
: )
#productmanagement #lifemanagement
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You instinctively know this, yet the allure of the comfort zone and the freaked out scariness of the panic zone keeps us from growing.
That is sad. Push towards the panic zone.
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Geo IP detection is so accurate, companies use it to help you find your nearest store or fill in your city.
1,800 years after that was possible, fedex.com still asks me to pick my continent.
#ux #pain #givingacrap
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If you hire Michelangelo to paint the Sistine Chapel, don't hold his hand while he is painting.
#adviceformanagers
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In a world where Marketers "innovate" for f' sake, a world where it is rare to see long-term brand commitment, in a world where Marketer promotions are tied to delivering shiny (useless) objects... It is incredible what Nike's Marketing delivers.
Simple. Consistent. Constant.
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To all the bosses out there pushing their teams to deliver on insane schedules...
"Cooking a good medium roast chicken takes 2 hours. We can cook it in 30 mins but all you're getting is sick."
#nowyouknow #thinktimematters
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Someone asked: What's the definition of data.
My answer: "Any number with the potential to be useful."
What do ya' think?
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“No matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter who your audience is: 30% will love it, 30% will hate it, and 30% won’t care.
Stick with the people who love you and don’t spend a single second on the rest. Life will be better that way.”
-James Altucher
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Things not to call yourself, if you can help it:
Guru
Genius
Wizard
Prophet
Authority
Influencer
Thought Leader
#nowyouknow #besogoodtheycantignoreyou
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Reminder:
At its very best, all Marketing can do is amplify.
If your product/service sucks, it amplifies that.
If your product/service rocks, it amplifies that.
Is what your Marketing amplifying worthy?
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Money can buy many things, but, I tell my kids, perhaps its more effective use is to buy time.
A non-stop flight.
An extra day of vacation with the family.
Living closer to work, a shorter commute.
Having to work fewer hours, on what you love.
Clothes that last longer.
#buytime
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Great teams always contain people you can't stand. The pessimists. The reality check deliverers. The always alternative solution providers.
If your team does not have them, you are likely not a high impact team.
#kumbayaonlygoessofar
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Why do so many speeches/presentations suck?
1. The speaker is presenting someone else's work.
2. The speaker is selling themselves, not their ideas.
3. Instead of one, seven agendas were incorporated into the story.
4. There is no story (content, person, value).
#nowyouknow
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"If at first your don't succeed, try two more time so that your failure is statistically significant!"
: )
#nerdhumor
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Don't talk intelligently about things you are ignorant about.
Silence, or curiosity, is always an option.
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How can you not love clever design?
Asia. Coca Cola bottle. A delightful bow.
Happy holidays y'all!
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New Policy:
If you write clickbait headlines, you earn a permanent block.
Congratulations.
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About f'ing time!!!
Pardon my french.
Congratulations to @joebiden and @KamalaHarris (my Indian Chinese American kids are so inspired by your Indian Jamaican American story!).
#anewbeginning
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Sometimes you kill thousands with clearly visible despicable bombs (Ukraine), other times you make policy decisions from a warm office in DC and tens of thousands die (Afghanistan).
Not comparing the two. Still. Upsetting. Watch video:
@GravelInstitute t.ly/Fil0
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This fact always blows my mind:
Cleopatra lived closer to the creation of the iPhone than she did to the building of the Great Pyramid!
#time
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The difference between analysis with 90% confidence and 99% confidence is 10x more work.
It is rare that there is incremental value in going to 99% when you account for the cost.
#agilityoverperfection
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The numbers today are going to be the scariest yet. Here's hoping this will distract you for a bit...
Folks at @GettyMuseum challenged their followers to recreate a work of art with objects in their homes.
The results are exceptionally creative. See all: is.gd/NokAu3
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Influencer Marketing Strategy:
Influencer: A stay at your hotel for free, I'll promote you.
Biz: You can book it with money.
Influencer: But, I have 186k Instagram followers. I can drive loads of sales!
Biz: Great. For every 10 guests you send, we'll give you a night free.
:)
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Reminders:
Great marketing analytics can't save a terrible product.
The best analysis in the world can't make up the gap left by a crappy creative.
It is entirely possible to light a giant pile of money on fire, advertising a non-existent customer value proposition.
#nowuknow
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A swarm of Monarch Butterflies in the mountains of Mexico filmed by a robotic hummingbird...
Spectacular...
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3 statisticians walk into a bar.
1st orders 5 drinks, the 2nd orders 1 drink, and the 3rd orders 3 drinks.
The bartender fills orders for 1st and 2nd statisticians, but not for the 3rd.
“You’ll have to go somewhere else,” she says, “I don’t serve anyone who’s mean.”
#math!
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Some South Korean stores pack bananas in various stages of ripeness, so you can eat them over several days without going brown.
#practicalsmarts
h/t @mrstrangefact
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# of meetings where I've heard this sentiment?
Infinity.
Ok, maybe not infinity. Infinity minus 13,683.
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Me: "Ok Google. When was the last time a US President publicly called someone a son of a bitch?"
Google Home: "Surely you are kidding!"
:)
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[My post!] 10 Hidden Gems In Google Analytics: Do Smarter Web Data Analysis! goo.gl/cn1CjL #win
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THIS is America. This is who we are.
Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty, free at last.
#gorman
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Thinking is hard because of 4 universal conundrums:
1. There’s too much information
2. There’s not enough meaning.
3. There’s not enough time & resources.
4. There’s not enough memory.
Handy cheat sheet by @buster, & Insightful article goo.gl/5K5XCJ
#thinkdifferent
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Analytics is a lot less important than analysts believe.
Analytics is a lot more important than business leaders believe.
#truth
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#freedomofthepress
Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations. - George Orwell
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1. The first US CV-19 case was on Jan 20. It is a devastating indictment of political leadership that we now have a trajectory all our own. There was a time!
2. A correlation: Cultures where mask-wearing in socially acceptable, and where it is not. (They also took fast action!)
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I'm sure DJT's concession speech is imminent.
As we wait, the best concession speech of my lifetime...
I was more inspired by this speech than Pres. Obama's on the same day (and I worked with his campaign!).
#grace #dignity #powerofintegrity
Watch: t.ly/wdgA
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Me (to my young teen kids): What messaging app do you use?
Kids: Discord.
Me: What's Discord?
Kids: What messaging app do you use?
Me: Facebook.
Kids: What's Facebook?
And thus it begins... I'm an out of touch old person!
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If you put Earth at the center, and plot orbits of planets... you get Spirographs!!
The design nerd in me is flabbergasted.
Watch the mesmerizing display here (choose your own planet!): is.gd/3hqPDc
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Chrome browser tip:
If you type something in the search bar and it suggests wrong site just press Alt+Shift+Delete and it won't suggest it again.
Hurray!
(Why oh why should something simple be so difficult to find/do!)
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Politics stressing you out?
Here are some birds playing volleyball... Trust me, you need this. :)
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This is seriously impressive stuff!
Atlas, Spot, and Handle dancing to the perfect Do You Love Me by The Contours’.
#BostonDynamics
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I, still, have a lot to learn about storytelling with data.
I'd tweeted graph one, Mike Luckovich did graph two - and it is so, so much better!
h/t @JoshuaSpanier
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Never trust percentages. Ask for the raw counts.
%: "We saw an increase of 87% in search queries."
RC: "We measured 16 more search queries."
#analyticstip #nowyouknow
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Germany:
Tests/mil: 20,629 | Cases/mil: 1,630 | Deaths/mil: 47
USA:
Tests/mil: 10,220 | Cases/mil: 2,033 | Deaths/mil: 104
Why? Meet Chancellor Angela Merkel!
She exudes a rare combination of competence and empathy...
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Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations.
-George Orwell.
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Man cheated on first wife with woman 2.
Married, cheated on woman 2 with woman 3.
Married, cheated on woman 3 with porn star.
While cheating on wife with porn star, cheated on the porn star with playboy model.
Whatever happened to him?
You elected him US President.
#thisisus
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Wait. The British were making fun of us for having Donald Trump, and they decided to go with Mr. Farage and leave the EU?
#wth
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OMG, love this so much!
Windows sound effect (acapella)...
Source: MayTree: is.gd/LJheMy
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Hardest thing in the world to change?
An uninformed opinion in a closed mind.
#themoreyouknow
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This is an excellent - respectful - idea as we start to get back to pre-Covid.
Given gaps in data about humans around us, for now, I'll choose red.
You?
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Among many things I admire about Google's CMO, @LorraineTwohill, the mantra she's created for @Google Marketing is one of my favs...
I start every day with coffee in this mug, then try to "connect the two." :)
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Sexy talk from my wife:
"I've analyzed county by county results, Perdue has no chance. Ossoff is going to win!"
#hothothot
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They say an image is worth a thousand words, this one is worth ten thousand.
American White Supremacists are bringing automatic weapons to "fight" people with raised fists/phones - who simply want equality after 400 years of uninterrupted racism.
t.ly/lR53
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[New post!] Excellent Analytics Tip #27: Chase Smart Calculated Metrics
goo.gl/Txr94a #win
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I'm starting to wonder how the hell was I ever productive before?
Normal office life now seems insane: email > meeting > email > meeting > politics > meeting > spill in kitchen > meeting > email > team issues > meeting > performance review > email > lunch > meeting > meeting >
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Why does almost all marketing by almost every large company leave you with heartbreaking low-quality sameness...
#cowpaths
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