Bloody lovely stuff from our bloody lovely boss.
In 2014, I was annoyed standing in front of magazine racks at train stations that there was nothing that appealed to me. The usual ‘women’s magazines’ didn’t speak to me and were too centred on beach bodies, white trousers and which fruit my body resembled. Add to this that I love women. Ever since I worked for WHSmith and then the Jobcentre, I’ve been surrounded with women at work. When I got into comedy, those numbers dropped dramatically (they’re better now hoo-fucking-ray). So I started setting up small work places full of women. My TV series, my new material gig, writers’ rooms, my radio shows. Women, women, women. I decided to do something about the lack of magazines for women like me (whatever that means) and thus create another all-women work space, a healthy, more interesting and feminist alternative to the magazines that were out there. And thus began Standard Issue Magazine, edited by the fantastic Mickey Noonan. We were lucky enough to have some incredible women write wonderful articles for us. And the whole thing was run by 12 awesome women. In 2017, I decided it was time to move with the times and we became a podcast @StandardIssueUK. The team: Mickey Noonan, Hannah Dunleavy and Jen Offord have since created over a thousand brilliant episodes of a podcast that treats women like they have brains, because we do, and are interested in the world. We are for women, by women, about everything. And we shine a light on some incredible sports women, journalists, playwrights, entrepreneurs, heck, all sorts of women from all walks of life who have something to say. Standard Issue is a podcast championing women's voices, and packed with interviews, news, film, opinion and humour. And on this International Women’s Day, I’d love you to give it a listen. Or comment on this post if you have listened. Or share it with your followers. It all helps. We hope you enjoy it. We’re super proud of it. I feel this way about this project every day but today feels like a good day to shout about excellent women and their work.
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Today we are giving NO prizes to men who haven’t assaulted a woman, haven’t raped a woman, haven’t killed a woman. Same deal tomorrow. And the day after. Raise the fucking bar, lads. Our lives depend on it. #notallmen #butalwaysmen
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Every woman dealing with every thing every day. Ever.
You see this smile, Betty? It's not really a smile, it's the lid on a scream.
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If you insist on cracking an OCD joke, at least make it a good one, says @scriblit. @ocdaction #OCDWeekOfAction bit.ly/2l45jyq
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"Let’s be clear: women are not stupid. If we were rewarded for being direct in emails, we would be direct in emails. Softened language, a conciliatory attitude, superfluous apologies – these are not the result of low self-esteem but of a calculation..." Hear, hear @Martha_Gill!
I wrote about "no worries if not" and how irritating it is when people tell women to be more confident newstatesman.com/politics/fe…
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OCD? Is that the hilarious mental illness were people are really tidy? No, it's not, says @Scriblit #OCDWeekOfAction buff.ly/1HmsV8u
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We've been watching this for a full five minutes. HYPNOTIC.
Can everybody just Please look at this cat
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Season two of #Outlander starts next month. So @maureenyounger caught up season one. bit.ly/1R1Dte5
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The rule is, when someone puts this back in your timeline, you must watch it. At least three times. Incredible scenes.
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Your reminder that #joinin is for anyone feeling lonely or alone on Christmas Day. It’s a wonderful place to chat to folk all there for each other. This will be the 9th year of @SarahMillican75's excellent campaign. Please RT to spread the word.
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Happy #WorldPastaDay folks. We've been watching this mesmerising pasta gif for going on three weeks now. bit.ly/2dBgsS5
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Strong catting.
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From this April. A lone girl flags down the Met for help and gets struck 30-odd times with a baton. Because those "cracks" officers keep slipping through are really fucking big.
BREAKING: Met police officer dismissed after using up to 34 baton strikes on Black teenage girl with learning disabilities. Sophie Naftalin & Sohini Mehta at Bhatt Murphy acting for the family.
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Our thoughts and love go out to all those affected by the London attacks. And this. Always this.
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.@clarebalding tells us why she thinks @Sport_England's #ThisGirlCan campaign is a super idea buff.ly/1sIkejp
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Sleep not happened yet? Here's the Norwegian version of Mr Bump. You're welcome. bit.ly/2pLQd2S
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Waiting on the Strictly results? Catch up with @susancalman chatting about the omnipresence of glitter bit.ly/2xwehdn #TeamCalman
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A thousand times this.
Katie Price might not see your comments mocking and blaming her for being beaten up by her abusive partner, but every woman on your social media who has been abused or violated by men can see your comments and see you for who you really are.
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There are about 683 reasons why we love @ayeshahazarika. Here's one.
Here is the real contribution @GMB won’t put out. Here @ayeshahazarika brilliantly spells out reality debunking UKIP lady ludicrous assertion that #cummingsgate is a narrow Brexit issue. Sums it up perfectly. Watch 👇🏼
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Classic Rik - still making us laugh. @Pandamoanimum's found some good'uns for the Round -Up. buff.ly/1Gyuak6
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If you're on your lonesome this Christmas and don't want to be, #joinin with our @SarahMillican75 bit.ly/2hfEBAw
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Victoria Wood couldn’t make it to our gig last year. But she sent @SarahMillican75 an email as to why. bit.ly/1roRJbg
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Jane is very much on to something here.
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Maybe we should just, I dunno, STOP SEXUALISING 4-YEAR-OLD GIRLS.
Are modesty shorts for four-year-olds a good idea? As a precaution to protect girls as young as four, who may bare all mid-cartwheel, some schools have introduced modesty shorts to uniform policy. The #LooseWomen would love to hear your views? 👇
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Rest in Peace #AlanRickman. British Villainy will never quite be the same again. bit.ly/1RU414e
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This is as mesmerising as it is peculiar.
Why does Matt Hancock sit down like Woody in Toy Story when a human enters the room
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We are all of Jonathan Swan's faces. ALL of them. This would be a perfect slice of comedy... if it wasn't the real fecking POTUS.
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YES IRELAND! We're happy dancing all over the shop at the #Repealed news. Love to all the brilliant women and men who played their part in history. Northern Ireland, we're looking at you. You're next.
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We came, we saw, we kicked ass, but sadly it’s time for us to go offline. We will still be around for ears. Read on bit.ly/2oHyEjY
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NEW CHOPS IS HERE! And this week, @thatdunleavy chats to #Ghosts stars and co-writers @JimHowick and @benwillbond about sucking off Mary, what's coming this Christmas and what it's like to have someone tattoo your face onto their body. Tuck in! bit.ly/3U412dz
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Well, the exit polls look dreadful. I’ve got nowhere near enough cigarettes to get through this. I’m taking an early break to go to the shop. #ElectionResults2019
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My god. A sanitary towel advert with no blue liquid in sight? @MsAshleyDavies' impressed. bit.ly/1Uxj0Sb
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This is a brilliant sight. Irish women continuing to kick 2018's arse.
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.@lucytweet1 describes - in wonderful detail - a real beach body. Happy holidays everyone! buff.ly/1f2JcEt
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This, folks, is why picking the right font is important. Here's @Pandamoanimum's RoundUp. bit.ly/1nK5VZQ
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Congratulations to our @micksternoonan who went and got herself hitched yesterday - what a pair of smashers they are, seen here throwing some shapes in celebration 👰‍❤🤵‍.
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THIS. SO VERY MUCH THIS.
Emma Thompson tells us the Harvey Weinstein allegations are just the tip of the iceberg of a wider and systemic problem in Hollywood
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Being childless is a cause for celebration not pity, says @EmmaKennedy. bit.ly/1MIN0DC
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The ace @cheryleehouston talks IDS' resignation & "systematic bullying" of disabled people standardissuemagazine.com/in…
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Daniel Sloss hitting the nail on the head here.
🗣 Talk to your fucking boys 🗣 nitter.app/BrianaAnda/status/1274…
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Feel like all hope is lost? Remember this pic of Mr Cumberbatch being born with his adult face, says @Pandamoanimum bit.ly/2fFx91P
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This is starting to remind me of the news clips you get at the start of films to explain how the apocalypse started. #EUref
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We've said it before. We'll say it again. We fecking LOVE @jessphillips.
I will make my way to Parliament and get there by this evening and I will start to table questions on the Domestic Abuse Bill.
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“I think we’re going to need more swear words.” @thatdunleavy charts WTFJH in President’s Trump’s first week. bit.ly/2kiS5zP
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Children fleeing domestic violence often have to leave everything behind. That's where @buddybagsuk steps in. bit.ly/2mKJpAT
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Well, this is simply super work all round.
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The late, great David Bowie would have been 70 years old today. So we're listening to this playlist today ❤️ bit.ly/2jnJ88v
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This poster has been annoying the shit out of us, and this is the best kind of graffiti. 👏👏👏
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So sad to hear about Caroline Aherne. Thanks for all the laughs, lady. Our thoughts go out to her family & friends.
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Utter smasher @SusanCalman is going to Blackpool with @bbcstrictly. Whoop, holler, clack your clackers and, if you haven't already, listen to this to find out why it's bloody lovely news. #TeamCalman #tinydancer #rock bit.ly/2zATBVj
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Hello, wonderful readers. Fancy becoming an official member of our gang?#Jointhegang standardissuemagazine.com/me…
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.@msashleydavies never imagined she’d get goosebumps watching an ad for sanitary towels. bit.ly/286859f
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So sorry to hear about Jo Cox. What a senseless act. Our thoughts go out to her family and friends. RIP.
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Tampons are taxed because they are classed as a luxury product. Oh the luxury! standardissuemagazine.com/in…
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How do you talk to women in various scenarios where they don't want to be talked to? Allow @EscapologistFi to help. standardissuemagazine.com/in…
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Jess Phillips will be back in parliament. Where she belongs. Well done @jessphillips!
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Whatever your stance on the institution of the monarchy, it's hard not to acknowledge the leadership and service shown by HRH Elizabeth II over her 70-year reign. A woman in a man's world, and a constant during a period of immense and perpetual change.
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We've got everything crossed for our sisters across the Irish Sea today. C'MON IRELAND – DO YOUR WOMEN RIGHT! May the repealing of the 8th commence. #repealthe8th #VoteYes #TogetherForYes
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He knows she doesn't want to talk to him. The creepy fuck doesn't care. She stays polite so as not to risk angering him. Don't know a woman who hasn't had to do this.
One of the things I wish men understood is that girls have interactions like this EVERY DAY
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Goodbye 2010s. We're grateful to @SarahMillican75 for having the idea for @StandardIssueUK and making it happen, to all the kick-ass women doing stuff worth talking about, and to each and every one of our listeners – the reason we do what we do. Let's have it, 2020!
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Still awake? Here's a cat drop kicking a child. bit.ly/2nMqqdw
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This is why you always trust Yahoo Answers. Here's @Pandamoanimum's brilliant Round-Up buff.ly/1GKwWBn
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It could’ve been worse Heather, it really could have. @Pandamoanimum's gathered more funnies. buff.ly/1DHB9Fn
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.@susiejverrill describes the Twitter backlash after her boyfriend, @GregJRutherford, questioned Fury’s SPOTY nom. bit.ly/1M7hcbd
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We knew our readers were the absolute best, but the love today has been overwhelming. Thank you so much from a very soggy SIM team. You rock
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Well, Dundee's in for a treat. Here's @Pandamoanimum's Round-Up. bit.ly/1OGupx3
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We've only gone and hit a million downloads. Whoop! To celebrate this amazing number, we're going to be doing a few giveaways. Keep your peepers peeled.
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. @Pandamoanimum's found a bunch of ace internet stuff again. It's mainly cats, but still. buff.ly/1C7CkMG
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Incredible work. Baffling that this wasn't already a thing.
Replying to @jessphillips
Children will now be recognised within the statutory definition of Domestic Abuse. Always speak up and keep pushing. We now have one week to make sure all victims regardless of their status are protected. We can do this!
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Can't snooze? Want to watch a labrador be adorabley shit at obedience instead? bit.ly/2c3OKBb
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Dear shops, please stop forcing your staff to ask inane questions. It would make @Jo_Caulfield & many others happy. bit.ly/2pN7RWI
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Here's a cracking Rated or Dated by @Hilary_W from the archives. Rest in peace Mr Bowie. bit.ly/1SJ0YN6
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118 women killed by a man in the past year. 118. It takes Jess four minutes to read out all of their names, an act which ensures they are recorded in the official parliamentary records. Thank you @jessphillips & @K_IngalaSmith for doing right by women victims of male violence.
Since last year on this day, these are the women killed in the UK where a man has been convicted or charged as the primary perpetrator in the case.
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Happy #LesbianVisibilityDay to all our lesbian pals out there.
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Yes, yes. Think we all needed this today.
If anyone needs cheering up, eggs were once known as ‘cacklefarts’, and a hankie was called a ‘snottinger’.
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Some excellent crotch based advice in @Pandamoanimum's latest Round-Up. bit.ly/1nDV5Fc
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The Hounds of Love turned 30 years old last year – here’s why @Aliceliverpool still loves it bit.ly/1qxG1KO
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.@Pandamoanimum's gathered more Internet gems. Check out this guy, he wins all the dad awards. buff.ly/1CjmFH5
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If you fancy a reminder of the good in people, then @MarcusRashford's timeline right now is the place to be. 💛😭
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Apologies if you heard us screaming into the abyss again.
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This squashed marshmallow rabbit looks like Kim Jong-un. Here's @Pandamoanimum's RoundUp. bit.ly/20JsAlE
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In solidarity with A Day Without A Woman, Standard Issue isn't around today. Normal service resumes at 6am tomorrow.
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Dear Michelle Obama, can you just never leave the White house please? @MsAshleyDavies will miss you too much. bit.ly/2emk9vq
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Just the awesome @BootstrapCook serving an absolute edgelord his arse on a plate with a side of plain pasta. 👏👏👏 Seriously, people with money telling people with no money that they're doing poverty wrong rather than showing some fecking empathy need to get in a bin.
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All hail Melissa McCarthy – she's a ruddy marvel. bit.ly/2ahJdb4
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In this week's podzine @SusanCalman chats fake tans and foxtrots in @bbcstrictly bit.ly/2y4S7SG
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Replying to @holly_bourneYA
Pernod. Pernod and black coming back up makes for some hard-to-clean redecorating. [Mickey]
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.@sadiehasler shares her love of the word cunt. (Warning: contains the word cunt.) bit.ly/1QzUijS
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.@louconran didn’t have a miscarriage, she had to terminate her baby’s life. Why is this still taboo, she asks. bit.ly/2amUCQU
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