It's the f*****g Catalina Wine Mixer!
Johannesburg/Cape Town
- Tweets 81,146
- Following 498
- Followers 1,018
- Likes 25,606
Shout out to parents who risk their relationship with their children to give us superstars.
Kids with loving fathers don't grow up to write Billie Jean or score 40 goals.
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If you want to watch a documentary, made by a black (South African) person, about this lady please watch “The Life and Times of Sarah Baartman.”
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I'm super grateful but my parents introduced me to a lifestyle that I can't afford on my own.
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Guys please don’t get into debt for a wedding
Need an ‘I’m suddenly engaged’ personal loan? We'll help you find the right credit. #TheFutureOfHelp
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Women be like “I feel so dizzy and weak” then you ask them when was the last time they ate and they’ll be like “I had a cupcake for breakfast yesterday”.
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Yesterday in a team meeting someone said “money trees” for some reason and my white colleague said “Kendrick Lamar” then looked at me.
You see what I’m dealing with?
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My parents love getting upset with me when I don’t know something about our culture.
Hawu dude where was I supposed to learn it? In private school?
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I don't know if this makes sense but Tuesday is the dayiest day there is. It's not Monday, it's not mid week like Wednesday, it's not 1 day away from the weekend like Thursday. I really hate Tuesdays.
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Handed in my resignation letter, start my new job in two months. Here’s to new fucking challenges!
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What do you guys have against sleep and rest??
I mean I get the avo slander and what not but rest?? You guys are hating on rest?!?
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You guys wanna bend the rules of language and then wanna be upset with us when we don’t know how to pronounce your made up names.
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Venus Williams is 36, has an autoimmune disease and has just got to another Wimbledon Semi-Final, what a woman.
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It's not as funny when you do it, you and your colleagues need to get your shit together. nitter.app/mbalulafikile/status/7…
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I've been rewatching game of thrones and these guys have too much sex for people that hardly wash. It's really getting to me
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A part of me respects the fact that most of this guys stolen money was spent on women. No business investments, no private schools for the kids- he stole to entertain the hoez. That's it.
Fidel Moema stole R16m and give her R11m in soft life....today she's a state witness against him🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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DA: "The ANC is just handing votes to us with this SASSA debacle"
DA: "Let's just remind them of who we really are"
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Perfect Uber experience:
Light banter... silence.. touch up banter... silence... thanks chief.
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The year is 2068 and ageing President Malusi Gigaba has circulated a memo to rename South Africa to KwaMandela in honour of what would have been Madibas 150th birthday.
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People come to Joburg, do shady shit and then people blame Joburg. You guys were told lies over the village fire then go do funny stuff once you enter.
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I wish CT winter had a point hey, like i could deal with it if they told me all this all this wind and rain blew all the racism away.
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She’s 67, she should go home and make herself available for the mentoring of aspiring female politicians. That’s the problem with politics, all these old people just bouncing around.
If #PatriciaDeLille leaves the D.A. which party would you advise her to join? #702Breakfast @Radio702
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So Burna Boy is going to Zim?
Are you guys not embarrassed for letting AKA bring out the xenophobia in you?
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Absolutely incredible story, hopefully he’ll have lots of time to write a book about it in jail...
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He’s married… but it also means he’d be willing to skip an athletics day at his kids school to see you.
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I hate it when your naartjie is hard to peel!! What is that? I would've gotten an Orange if I wanted to put in effort.
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Even if all of the other shit wasn’t happening, why on earth is the minister for police doing health and safety checks?
Minister Bheki Cele is observing the handling of food maintenance in line with the health and safety by spaza shops #OkaeMolao
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@foyinog Your warmth and generosity have been one of the best things to happen to me in this shitty town. Each and everyday I’m with you your humor and wit put a smile on my face. Happy birthday baby
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Makhaya Ntini running to the hotel so he could avoid taking a bus with his teammates is hitting me very deep.
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Helen Zille's replies to the guy who brought up Hitler and the Nazis is proof to me that white people will draw the line anywhere they want.
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Someone asked him earlier why he's sitting there and he said "well the view is nice" 🔥🔥
This man has been sitting in that chair since AM. It is the same spot where the Rhodes statue used to be #UCTshutdown
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You👏🏾 do👏🏾not👏🏾get👏🏾to👏🏾tell👏🏾us👏🏾what👏🏾to👏🏾do👏🏾with👏🏾OUR👏🏾bodies👏🏾 nitter.app/thamtham23/status/6941…
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So that guy told you that women are dumb because they value consistent communication and you believed him?
We are led
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People follow you after a fire tweet and you feel sorry for them because that's that's not the real you
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This tweet didn’t end how I thought it might have.
My mom who quit her job of 26 years to go back to University and graduated at age 58. Last year she studied further and attained her honors. The graduation ceremony is 9 April .I won’t make it,I will be performing in New York 10-24 April at @sohohouse
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I would think they did vote though. Trump lost the popular vote but it doesn't work like that in America, or maybe ndim o'wrong.
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A woman will do this then wonder why you're calling calling her at 2:57 am after the first date. Girl I love you
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When my girl/person is on the phone with a guy friend for too long and she's sitting next to me sometimes I tickle her so he hears happiness
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Me: "Yoh, I've been waiting for my food for an hour"
Bolt Driver: "You weren't returning my please call me's so I left it outside on your step. Is it not there?"
Bolt (Taxify) will soon to launch a food delivery service in South Africa, taking on UberEats goo.gl/wSCJTb
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“Hmmm normalize, normal lies kill normal eyes, hmmmmm... Slam poetry, Yelling!! Waving my hands a lot. Specific point of view on things. Cynthia. Cyn-thi-a”
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Just because you can bench 200 doesn’t mean that you can’t catch a cold, put on a jersey okes.
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Now is the time for those guys who spend 3k on a date to step up. Deezy needs some sort of bat signal to get the ballers to assemble. Your economy and country need you.
At 50% discounts | R7,000 pp a night some of our game lodges still won’t survive Level 2 and beyond. There aren’t enough domestic tourists in that tax bracket to keep this old world, dollar based model afloat.
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