Living the dream in South Africa • Golf addict • Recovering rugby player • Photographer 🇨🇦 🇿🇦
South Africa
- Tweets 68,596
- Following 1,511
- Followers 100,576
- Likes 245,330
The national average for a gallon of gas is $4.17. A gallon of Starbucks coffee costs $16.80. Just saying
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Maybe I’m just different, but if President Biden told me to attack the Capitol, I wouldn’t attack the Capitol. I’d wonder what the hell was wrong with him.
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Anybody else still curious who planted the pipe bombs, disabled Mike Pence’s key card, removed the panic button in Ayanna Presley’s office, and shared the locations of non-reinforced Capitol windows?
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President Biden breaks with tradition and will not provide Trump with classified intelligence briefings.
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The world is kinda wondering why Donald Trump is still in power after staging a coup.
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Does Matt Gaetz own a fleet of ice cream trucks and a chain of prom dress stores that I'm not aware of? How on earth did he qualify for a $482K PPP loan? @mattgaetz
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If Elon Musk paid off one woman for sexual misconduct, chances are he’s paid off plenty of others.
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I like First Lady’s who don’t get into fights with porn stars about who’s a hooker.
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Once you realize that Elon’s stepsister is also his stepmom, it all starts to make sense.
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The funniest thing about Catturd is that, in real life, he looks like a thumb.
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Raise your hand if you’d like to see the Generals drag Trump’s fat ass out of the White House.
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.@SenSchumer - please allow the media to show the Republican Senators who are sleeping, playing games on their phones, and reading newspapers during Trump's impeachment trial.
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The President Of The United States is officially under criminal investigation for bank and insurance fraud. Let that sink in.
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FOX is about one hearing away from saying Hillary’s emails were found on Hunter’s laptop down at the border in the biggest caravan ever due to low gas prices.
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In Canada, religion is kept out of our schools, we have sensible gun laws, and guess what? No school shootings. Maybe the U.S. should give that a try for a bit.
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Just so we're clear, Joel Greenberg confessed that he and Matt Gaetz raped a minor, and the Republican Party is still supporting Gaetz.
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In the spirit of unity, Melania Trump refuses to reach out to incoming First Lady Dr. Jill Biden.
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Ivanka blaming her father for wrecking her political career is so on brand for the Trump family. He taught her well.
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I love when Trump supporters say they don’t need Obamacare because they’re already covered by the Affordable Care Act.
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If the documents were ‘planted’ by the FBI, how did Trump’s handwritten notes get all over them? 🤔
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Rudy Giuliani accidentally booking Four Seasons Total Landscaping for a press conference instead of the Four Seasons Hotel may be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
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Justin Trudeau has taken a sharpie and redrawn the Canadian border.
Congratulations to Washington, Oregon, California and New York! Welcome to Canada!
Free healthcare and Tim Hortons for all!
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Who wants to tell @realDonaldTrump that doctors only give cognitive tests to patients they think need cognitive tests?
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Republicans waited 3 years and 349 days to start speaking out against at Trump.
Nice try a**holes. You own this mess.
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Good Lord 😂
Matthew Lauseng
Community note
The video is altered ...poorly
(golf ball layer stays on top of his hand when he grabs the tee)
Original: piped.video/shorts/nADUgSP
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Fun fact: Wearing a mask also prevents drugs from flying out of your nose during televised news conferences.
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Biden should put in a few windmills off the coast of Mar-a-Lago, just for shits and giggles.
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You only need two ingredients for this nutritious midday snack! Follow me for more quick and easy recipes.
Posts Of Cats
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Don’t worry everyone. It’s totally normal for a President to get rushed to Walter Reed on a Saturday in his golf clothes.
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Let me get this straight. Lauren Boebert became an escort to try to save the family business, and while ‘servicing’ a client in Aspen, she met Ted Cruz, who, shortly thereafter, just happened to give her campaign over $100k?
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In case you’re keeping score at home:
Oscar Wins:
* Obama’s 1. - tRump’s 0
Nobel Peace Prizes:
* Obama’s 1 - tRump’s 0
Impeachments:
* tRump’s 1 - Obama’s 0
Bankruptcies:
tRump’s 6 - Obama’s 0
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I don’t know about the rest of you, but if my boss tried to have me killed, and my security detail thought we were all going to die, I would probably say something. @Mike_Pence
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When Matt Gaetz is indicted, I'm going to open a bottle of 20-year old scotch. Anything younger just wouldn't be appropriate.
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Bill Barr finally admits that the CIA did not spy on the Trump campaign.
Prepare for #TrumpMeltdown in 3...2...1...
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Let me get this straight. The FBI found documents about foreign nation's nuclear capabilities at Mar-A-Lago, and he's still out their holding rallies? This is a joke, right?
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How is it possible that 74 million Americans lack the most basic critical thinking skills?
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It’s quite telling that Mike Pence has disappeared and nobody has really noticed.
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Say hello to our new puppy! 🐕
She was found on the side of road in pretty rough shape, and we think she’s about 9 weeks old.
What would be a good name for this adorable little girl?
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If Louis Gohmert infected Jim Jordan and Matt Gaetz at yesterday’s hearing, do you serve wine or champagne?
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Donald Trump now has more impeachments and FBI raids than any other President in U.S. history.
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If Melania was smart, she’d serve Trump with divorce papers now, reveal everything about his dementia, get him declared mentally unfit, and take everything. Just saying.
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William Barr is now hated by the left, the centre, and the right. It takes a special kind of asshole to pull that off.
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Autism Capital 🧩
I wonder how many times Tina Peters has asked to speak to the manager today.
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Allowing someone to hold rallies every weekend after trying to overthrow the government might not be such a great idea.
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Ted Cruz helped incite the insurrection, and now he gets to question the Capitol police who had to fight off the insurrectionists? This is wrong on every level.
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If you blow up an RV on a city street while sitting in the RV, you’re a suicide bomber. Full stop.
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If you want to make sure Bill Gates can’t track you through your cheeseburger, always cook your meat in a peach tree dish. If the Gazpacho Police happen to show up, hit ‘em with your space laser. Pew pew @RepMTG
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Raise your hand if you’d be ok with Trump being handed over to Iranian authorities.
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All those in favour of a thorough investigation into the January 6th insurrection, including witnesses and the FBI, say aye. @LindseyGrahamSC
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He stole classified documents, and got caught red-handed. He should be in a cell getting interrogated, not out hosting Nazi hate rallies.
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I’m still amazed that a guy who wears lifts, a girdle, and adult diapers won’t wear a mask because he thinks it makes him look weak.
#DiaperDon
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If you thought today was fun, just wait until Merrick Garland gets confirmed. That’s when the real fun begins.
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Beautiful final resting place for your mom, @DonaldJTrumpJr. I especially love the inscription on her gravestone. Truly heartwarming. RIP Ivana.
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If arresting Trump leads to riots, so be it. It will just mean more of his cult followers will end up in prison.
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He’s held a rally, been to a convention, and hosted a golf tournament. His ‘grieving’ is over. Time to reschedule those court-ordered depositions.
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Buckle up @laurenboebert and @mtgreenee. The US Attorney for DC is considering charges of sedition for the insurrectionists.
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This is just a quick reminder that Trump had absolutely nothing to do with the development of the Pfizer vaccine.
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Trump is apparently humiliated and doesn’t want to appear in public, and he’s broke and fears being arrested.
Good.
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I didn’t think @marcorubio could be more of a fucker, and then he attacked Dr. Fauci.
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Elon Musk’s father had a child with his stepdaughter, so does that mean Elon’s stepbrother is his uncle?
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When Trump is removed and the dust finally settles, what do you do with his 30%? They honestly are the dumbest humans on the planet.
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Who wants to let @realDonaldTrump know that the Black Lives Matter mural outside Trump Tower is almost complete?
#TrumpMeltdown
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Donald Trump: I'm the greatest businessman on the planet
Donald Trump: I had no idea what was going on in my business
🤔
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