i'm hbfromkc: twitter legend. comic who curates interactive experiences: Shots N Giggles, Picture Perfect, Smokes N Jokes KC. laugh.think.repeat♍️
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i got pulled over
cop: you know you got a headlight out?
me: yeah, just happened
cop: oh ok. headed home?
me: nah i have a show
cop: show for what?
me: i'm a comedian
cop: oh word? tell me a joke
me: you
cop: ?
me: you a Black cop...get it...
i got a ticket ☹️
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"you got kids"
me: yes, 1. he's 14. do you have kids? how old are they?
"yeah 2 girls"
me: how old are they.
"2..."
me: 2 what
"....weeks"
OH BITCH HOE MF NIGGA STUPID ASS BABY DADDY GO BE A FUCKING FATHER SHE AINT EVEN HEALED YET GET OFF THE DATING SITES
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i'm at the store
random toddler: *pats my leg* can you pick me up?
me: where is your Mommy?
toddler: idk...pick me up? *arms up*
me:
toddler:
me: EXCUSE ME WHOSE WHITE BABY IS THIS!?
Mom comes around the corner: I am SO sorry! But did you have to describe him as white?
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this guy posted: s/o to my wife! she works 40hrs a week, laundry never piles up, kids are healthy, she keeps their appointments, and the fridge/pantry full! random appreciation post!
why his Daddy comment: well damn nigga wtf do you do
when i tell you i'm CRYING 😂
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"your masculine energy doesn't free you from being assaulted or molested"
THESE ARE THE MEN THAT NEED MICROPHONES!!!!!!!!!!
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omg another generation of Black boys that love this song we need research on this cause whyyyy?? 😂😂😂😂
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when we say that Black women are the backbone of worldwide culture this is what we mean.
0 originality. 0 culture.
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me: is this my baby?
Mom: no...
me: okay then, that's a white baby.
like girl how you misplace your child then get mad i call the baby white bitch gone 😂
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strict women are WINNING WOMEN.
every strict woman i know flourishes.
strict bitches FOREVER.
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regardless of what i do or don't like about Kamala, this is powerful at its core. fuck the system forever, but little Black girls seeing Black women in places of power is very very important!
this baby is going to be great.
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he literally didn't say shit he just walked to his car with my id and insurance wrote the ticket then gave it to me like
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justice for her bank account cause so so so many people owed her money. she invented a whole word.
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HE DELETED THE POST SKSKSKSKSKS HIS DADDY WAS ON HIS ASS
"marrying her to make her your maid is not how i raised you"
me in the comments:
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this nigga D!ddy moving CRAZY
his mfn PI calling & lowkey threatening a BW tiktoker for reading the docket of his investigation!? and confirmed hella shit that was just ALLEGED. plausible deniability, GONE.
and she recorded the whole. convo.
they're fucked. lmaoooo
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you hate poor people more than you hate the government and that's where the fucking problem lies now 😂😂😂😂😂
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he is Khadijah-James-new-boo-cameo-appearance-1995 FINE.
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he was looking around a lot so i think he was asking me to pick him up so he could look for his Mom lol
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i'm always very clear and require clarity. he wasn't gone get away with that lmaoooo
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he IS fine but he and Mrs have been happily married for 29 years. they're a beautiful couple. sons ain't SHIT lmao
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NORMAL NON-RICH PEOPLE:
what the FUCK are y'all doing to financially maintain!? i am mfn drowning and i do not see an end in sight.
are y'all living off credit cards or loans or what!? (seriously cause i feel very alone)
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friend: i need to vent, my son was looking at p0rn on my computer!
me: yeah that's difficult. i'm sorry to hear that. have you put parental controls on his computer? have you had the sex talk with him yet?
friend: NO! he's only 11. he doesn't need to know about sex!
OK.
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i'm a BW in America. i do not have the privilege of unconditionally trusting anyone other than other BW.
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this man on instagram makes his nephews do "Dru Hills" when they misbehave, and he talks them thru how to properly handle they emotions, while they do it
yes, Dru Hills. the stomp from "Tell Me" on repeat 😂😂😂
millennial parenting >>>
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i'm not touching on the Asian man with locs. i see it. we know wtf going on. shit crazy 💀
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as a paid comedian, this is facts. it wasn't funny nor a joke. and every "joke" got a little truth to it anyway. why was THAT the reaction he had to a rap line? he could've said anything else and immediately went to r---!? WEIRD.
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went smooooth off. was shocked. but his Dad always been a real nigga, been knowing him since HS.
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it's so easy for people not in these situations to speculate. she seems to not be fully equipped emotionally or mentally to raise having a special needs child, *YET*. it is a journey for some people. you just happen to see *A* moment in the journey.
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y'all be fooled if y'all want to. these kids are CURIOUS, just like every other child is. if you aren't taking the steps to make sure they know about sex in a healthy way, that doesn't fall on the child. that's on YOU.
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i've maced 4 men in 3 weeks. if you try to physically harm me or overstep boundaries? one quick spray right while you talking.
and i NEVER warn. you get one verbal warning of leaving me alone. if you don't? you finna sit here and think for a second once i'm done.
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her impact is so crazy, *that* Eva Marcille pic and knowing the backstory of her anxiety shooting with a spider? i barely watched & i still will never forget that. that picture was insane! (positive)
I talked to Tyra Banks (!!!) about the legacy of Cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model’s breakout stars: Eva Marcille, Yaya DaCosta and Toccara Jones. #ESSENCEBWIH #ANTM
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exactly this. at most i would've found a store attendant and allowed them to handle it. i was not touching that white baby in that specific store no ma'am
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she text back
"i'll put parental controls but i'm not going to talk to him about sex yet. he's just not ready."
me
no baby, you're not ready. you're choosing to live in the delusion that your son is your baby. in a way, he is. in this way, he is not.
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so where does this correlate to a white man doing this towards a Black man
hint: you can't find it cause it's not the same.
stop.
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old people gone give you that facebook rundown no matter WHAT lmao too cute
This is too wholesome
ALT I had the most wonderful flight home from Denver. I met the nicest young man who sat next to me. He offered to put my bag in the overhead compartment and helped me with my tray. He was always polite, saying "yes ma’am" or "no ma’am." Anyone would be proud to have him as a son or grandson—so polite. People walking by were saying congratulations, great job, or even taking pictures. I turned and asked him, “Who am I sitting next to?” I looked at his Jaguar pants, smiled, and asked, “Are you an athlete?” He smiled and said, “I’m Travis. Yes, I was drafted by the Jags.” I already told my sons I want his jersey. He’s so humble and down-to-earth—I would have never guessed he was a professional athlete. JACKSONVILLE JAGS, you did good! I will be buying tickets. United Airlines, thank you for my seat assignment!
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be kind to someone, every day. even if it's yourself.
i love you. i don't have to know you to know you're worthy of basic human to human love.
let your light shine. if it's too bright for folks fuck them.
🫶🏾
muted.
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the girls are eating the boys up in rap. they bringing back full out performance and you can tell they working they asses off. it shows.
these niggas be off a p30 jigging on stage with 14 unshowered niggas behind them. ain't nobody paying for that anymore.
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muting but wow.
we need to fucking r3volt. 🫶🏾
call me when we lighting the torches!!!!
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cont: i understand its hard to accept your child is growing up. but u didn't learn sex in a healthy way, and if you avoid this talk, your son will continue to learn unhealthy things from outside sources. its how "sex" works
your avoidance won't quell his curiosity. he WILL learn
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y'all don't go research before you just believe two IG comments yikes!?
she's literally listed online as a realtor with sold houses
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how you gone tell a Black person what is or isn't racist like why do you think you're someone you're not and never will be lmao "reach" girl fuck you? 😭
it's racist. irdgaf what you say tbh. you speaking to the abyss going forward. fuck ya
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nigga hmu, we been chatting, coo. he's funny, nice...something said "ask that nigga if he's married"
so i do
he skips over it
so i ask again
this man gone say "we cohabitate"
BITCH THAT IS MARRIED. DFPWM
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and to clarify, he has a profile on HER computer, he doesn't have his own. she can put parental controls on it, but won't.
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TO THE BITCH ASS NIGGAS DM'ING ME LIKE A PUSSY TO ASK "where's his father? why she make herself a single mom?"
HES DECEASED. you fuck ass people. my friend is unfortunately a widow.
i hope me cursing you out and calling you the bitch you are hurt your feelings assholes.
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i used to work at a country club, our weddings cutoff for open bar was always 1 hour prior to the end of their booking. so wedding 3-9, open bar over at 8. no exceptions. don't care who they are either. i had to decline the mayors daughter liquor once LOL
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being everywhere and being accepted aren't the same. i think that's what the focus is on more. we're endangered as creatives bc we're continually stolen from yet never credited.
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emotional distress, grieving, counseling, mental health days where she may not be able to function and need to hire outside help.
be leery of speaking about someone else's journey. you wouldn't want anyone doing that to you.
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now you're diving into Problematicville, USA. you don't understand what's happening
theyre cosplaying & making a mockery of stereotypical BW mannerisms/characteristics
for many BW, it's not a "behavior", it's who we are, just not as exaggerated
the exaggeration is the problem
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you coulda said this without the angry part. distasteful and misogynoir coded as fuck.
she wrong, you wrong.
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YOU REALLY HAVE TO ASK THESE NIGGAS IF THEY'RE MARRIED!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DATING POOL!?
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i'm on papers with my sons father
if the legally binding schedule is not adhered to the other party can report it to the courts. if they other party doesn't fall in line there ARE consequences up to and including losing custodial privileges.
all they have is excuses.
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you're rude. and nasty. and off topic.
the young lady deserves kindness and grace. not haughty ass "you shoulda known better" commentary.
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i will never let my Trick Daddy story die.
serving him and his crew was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. it was the first time i had been objectified by a group of men and was helpless, cause work.
and them bitches didn't even TIP ON $300+.
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there's more white ppl in this country than anyone. if they all voted the same way nobody else's votes would even be needed.
white ppl did this. are doing this. have done this.
They touched on this on CNN. Hyper focus on marginalized groups to place blame on if an election is won/lost is ridiculous. It’s never directed on the same level to white voters who usually are the ones who can really shift the tide in either direction. Hold them accountable the same way you do Black & brown folk.
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