Never in my 20 years of teaching has a substitute left me a note this bad.
BK
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Blue being a primary color is such a gag. Like you’d think you’d be able to get to blue some other way, but you really can’t
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I just found out that being a playlist curator at @Spotify is a job. So this is me officially submitting some of my best work:
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euphoria season finale Vape Girl/BB kills Laurie by airbending a vape cloud so powerful that it induces extreme nicotine poisoning
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me in 6th grade when my middle school’s firewall wouldn’t let me access Poptropica in the school’s computer lab
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My dream job is to be one of those HR ladies that’s always 2 bites into a sandwich whenever a meeting starts. The kind who gingerly covers her mouth and apologizes and says she’s eating lunch sooo late because her day has been absolutely SWAMPED (regardless of the time of day)
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Oomfette knows one of Sky Ferreira’s producers and apparently one time she took a few different outfits into the studio, had someone take pictures of her recording in each outfit so it would look like multiple recording sessions on different days, and then went home
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zach
Flight got delayed 22 hours but I was already tipsy from the Delta Lounge so here’s me doing the Apple dance in a JFK restroom at 3am. I am shirtless in a raincoat because drunk me thought I looked hefty in my travel shirt. My AirPod fell in the trash and I had to dig it out
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Meme Library
This cover came out like .. 17 minutes ago? Pre-planned response to outrage that doesn’t exist! People are just tired of the gimmick + all of his music sounds the same. Tired and trite
Lil Nas X responds to backlash over his “J Christ” single cover:
“the crazy thing is nowhere in the picture is a mockery of jesus. Jesus’ image is used throughout history in people’s art all over the world. I’m not making fun of sh*t. yall just gotta stop trying to gatekeep a religion that was here before any of us were even born. stfu.”
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And the winner is .. JON BATISTE
#GRAMMYs 2026: Best New Artist nominees
Olivia Dean
KATSEYE
The Marías
Addison Rae
sombr
Leon Thomas
Alex Warren
Lola Young
See the full list: pitchfork.visitlink.me/LYnmT…
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Through the quotes, I’ve learned that misogyny is when Olivia Rodrigo isn’t considered the paragon of female rage. Listening and learning
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dyke videos archive
not to be a High BMI Historian but we literally don’t have the technology to make this anymore. The Choco Taco has been discontinued
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My college experience involved me getting voted out of a house wherein my name was on the lease and moving into a hotel b/c my bipolar then-roommate (who was Caroline Polachek’s ex-cousin-in-law) kept letting vermicelli noodles dry on the counter and I made her feel bad about it
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reaction encyclopedia
Levi Strauss in 1873 after developing a method to improve denim’s durability by placing copper rivets at strain points on the fabric:
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TANK MCFLOP BLOW YOUR NOSE. They need to give this girl some Zyrtec and pseudoephedrine STAT .. nasal like no other
Oh Tate McMichael Jackson… why did you have to save Pop like that nitter.app/trmcraebr/status/17330…
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Was at the worst Walgreens in America (Bedford Ave location in Crown Heights) and the cashieress was on the phone while checking out my items and the portion of her conversation I heard went “Yeah, I’m at work … Like a CVS”
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I should never be forced to see an 18 year-old’s opinion without my consent. But here we are… “a key point that is found in almost all pieces of classical music, a beginning, a climax, and an end” 😭😭😭
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there’s a breed of Manhattan gay guy that’s just so terminally Chicago .. and there’s a breed of Los Angeles gay guy that’s so sadly Austin. San Francisco is San Francisco, though.
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saying “1st gen [job title]” is kind of incredible .. like yes I *AM* a 1st generation consultant
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Michelle Obama mad as hell she didn’t think of this
Pharmaceutical companies are testing weight-loss shots for children aged six and up.
🔗: bloomberg.com/news/articles/…
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kaie
Gonna buy these in bulk and use them as plates
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James al’Thor
If you had a child the day Normani dropped “Motivation,” they would be starting kindergarten this coming fall
Macy Rodman
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Found out I won the Carly Rae Jepsen ticket lottery during a meeting and couldn’t stop myself from making these exact faces
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You can tell a lot about a gay guys by the number of men named “Matt(hew)” that he follows on instagram
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Emily Ward
Having an emotional reaction to Leona Lewis’s Bleeding Love at Rick Caruso’s The Grove
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This literally being from a friend — one who used to be fat, no less! People are big mad … and also big
ann(o)e
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