They don’t think it be like it is, but it do. Hater of coleslaw. Married @__sunshine_tt_ as a joke.
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I just spent $300 on $75 worth of groceries I don’t give a fuck
College students slammed for using blackface to dress as Diddy for Halloween: ‘Despicable’ trib.al/UngL5mT
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Vivek Ramaswamy just told me that I was too athletic and fucked too many girls in high school to work for the Toshiba customer support call center
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There is a certain generation in which every man born into it knows exactly which movie this is from
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My girlfriend listening to me work on my Creed songs in the shower before we head out for karaoke
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YEAH KEEP DRIVING YOU HEARTLESS TRIO
Heartless trio stabs man, 45, in head during brutal NYC robbery, leaving him critically hurt: cops trib.al/kvmsAY1
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When the Prius driver beside me asks me to stop revving my Chevy Silverado
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YEAH KEEP DRIVING YOU FIRED TACO BELL EMPLOYEE!!
Fired Taco Bell employee allegedly returns to gun down his manager, a father of 7: ‘Senseless’ trib.al/KaiBngD
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Her: spends $300 on mani-pedi, lingerie, and perfume
Me at the foot of the bed:
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The look of dignity forever lost. A soul forfeited for notoriety. A life lost in those eyes. Sad.
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YEAH KEEP DRIVING YOU CHARITY BOSS
Charity boss blew $11M meant for needy kids on mansions, flashy yellow Mercedes for her lover: feds trib.al/z9NWocL
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Me reading my Taco Bell receipt that used to be $4.99 for the same order that’s now $23.89.
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Two teens attempted to rob me in the parking lot this morning. I saw it coming from a mile away and was able draw my concealed before they had any chance. I was just before racking off a couple rounds when a post I read yesterday hit me. I asked them “Have you ever read To Kill A Mockingbird?” To much of their dismay they answered with a quivering “Nah, mane nigga what the fuck?”. I took that opportunity to explain the moral lessons of practicing empathy, standing up for what is right, and fight against prejudice, and that everyone is entitled to due process even when it is difficult or unpopular.
They began to get misty eyed and apologized profusely as my lesson in compassion and fairness rang true to their consciences. I assured them that the even though the world can seem a bit unfair, we must always do the right things to ensure a safer and fair world for everyone.
I looked over and a group of bystanders began to clap, followed by the entire parking lot erupting into praise and cheer. The moment was electric and I swear I saw the lights of heaven shine down onto that parking lot.
Anyways, I shot those two bastards in the head because life lessons can’t be learned without consequences.
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Found this picture of my parents in the early 90’s when they still loved each other
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Stephen Hawking on Epstein Island watching undressed midgets solve complex equations on a too-high-up chalkboard
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Protip: let your strawberries grow little
Santa Claus beards for a festive holiday treat
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I got this tattoo on the back of my head 20 years ago. The 88 stands for HH which commemorates my love for Hamburger Helper. Apologies to anyone who may have mistaken it for another deeply offensive meaning.
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Guess what I got to do today, y’all?
I got to adopt the little love of my life. She’s officially a lil Dubzy and I couldn’t be happier 🥰
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My grandma needed her house to be wheelchair accessible so I called the two guys I knew who would knock it out of the park @TheCensoredRock and @BattleByrd. Fantastic job, boys.
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The female mind cannot comprehend the utilitarian mind that’s engrained into men from birth
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