I have no idea why anybody would follow me.

Cannot be emphasized enough that the charm of Reacher is that he's what would happen if Sherlock Holmes had the size, power, and disposition of a noble ogre
This moment legitimately made me think REACHER was about to be some kind of supernatural horror-slasher that people were hiding from me
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I am part of that 4% who want to ban the teaching of math. We are a quarter of the country, and we will not be ignored
US voter support for banning teaching of [x] in K-12 schools The history of US slavery: 12% Foreign languages: 8% Mathematics: 4%
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The thing about AI being demonic is that it really is demonic. "I'll do your homework for you, in exchange for sapping your intelligence and motivation and ability to function without AI" is literally something a demon would do
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What's a book that is a red flag for you if you're on a date and someone says it's their favorite? For me it's a book of Polaroids of me sleeping, each one taken on a different night over the course of years, sometimes from the ceiling, and some of the photos show me *older*
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Should I do it, folks? Should I treat myself to the subway joint?
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Sorry to sincerepost, but: follow through with plans, especially with children. Every day you teach them what adults can be. Besides, childhood passes so quickly for us big people. Before you know it, your little relatives won't be so little anymore. You can't get it back.
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I'm gonna own all means of monetization on the blockchain. I'll get royalties every time anybody earns royalties. This also means that every time I earn royalties, I'll earn even more royalties
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Replying to @narrenhut
I like how that example isn't even a real divorce, they were never actually married
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This is extremely bad. Anybody who claims to care about poverty/equality/equity/etc. should be treating this like a five-alarm fire
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Replying to @Phil_Lewis_
Godspeed to her and her lawyers. Setting your blinker and waiting for a safe place to pull over is literally what I was taught to do in driver's ed. What the cops did was indefensibly psychotic
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My conspiracy theory is that schools don't want to actually do this because to fairly, accurately grade those exams fairly would cause MASSIVE amounts of Fs
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Replying to @GrahamB47
Reminds me of the time in college (2003ish) when I was chatting up a classmate, quite good-looking, we got along well, she told me to visit her at work, and she also told me in the same conversation, "isn't it suspicious that no Jews were in the Twin Towers when they fell"
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Replying to @quintcan
Wire Mother experiment - rhesus monkeys who lacked real mothers would cling to wire mothers as a pale substitute
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Fun fact: just before The Ring came out, they had been leaving copies of The Tape around NYC as a guerilla marketing thing, which was a real spooky surprise to the girl who I took to see The Ring when it came out. "Holy shit, it's literally that random tape I found!"
fun fact about the VHS tape of the ring is that it will just casually start playing the actual tape footage without any warning and it’s scary as fuck
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Sad that a life was lost, but always remember, folks, nature is not your friend. Wild animals are not your pets, they are not domesticated. It can take thousands of years to domesticate an animal. (Cats are *debatably* domesticated...)
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Replying to @ZTPetrizzo
Remember, folks, your phone can only be destroyed if you eat it. You HAVE to eat your own phone NOW, there's no time to ask questions
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Yeah, like did people expect it to be hardcore sex? Of course it's a chaste kiss! It's the same kiss you'd see between any other married couple. And *that's* what REALLY enrages them
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Replying to @OkButStill
My mom had a form of early onset dementia, almost certainly exacerbated by a car accident some years back. It's gruesomely depressing. That said, my mom wound up in a terrific memory care facility until she passed away. I am sure that Willis is getting great, loving treatment
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Imagine being the client who sees this TikTok in the wild
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If you eat food regularly then your mouth gets bigger. It's science
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Holy smokes that's a cease and desist waiting to happen
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Replying to @hondacrvthe3rd
Reminds me of Mark Twain on James Fenimore Cooper
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What happened to make this sign necessary
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Awesome. My now-wife were once hiking and two gruff-looking teens came up to us and said, "there's an owl chilling in a tree about twenty feet over there if you wanna check it out." They were right! So nice to see a Great Horned Owl in person.
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Huge part of The Onion's decline is that, while of course The Onion has never shied away from political humor - indeed, they used to be great at it - it was pretty much always mixed with apolitical humor that centered the joke of The Onion being a fake *newspaper*, in that idiom
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Replying to @penishorts
As long as he complains when people don't react to his meme dumps, I'm cool with it
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Romeo and Juliet is also literally a tragedy, the message of the story is not "go for it, dude"
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Most modern movies don't have the courage to include Actually Weird examples of human diversity
In Hard Target, Wilford Brimley plays a Cajun moonshiner who for some reason is dressed exactly like Mario
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I'm amused by the idea of what that conversation would have been like with the doctor "Hey doc why is my baby ugly"
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People across the political spectrum seem pathologically incapable of *really* admitting that unsympathetic people deserve rights. The rush to pretend that Neely was primarily known for being an MJ impersonator is a tacit refusal to admit that *severely unwell* people need help
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I want Zoomers to understand that this is what the American left felt like until around the time that Bernie finally became big nationally. It was literally a constant problem in Iraq War protests that they kept insisting on playing with puppets and costumes
In Seattle, dozens of protestors against the World Trade Organization (WTO) dress as sea turtles and hold a march.
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Replying to @i_zzzzzz
This scene should have kept going in circles for 25 minutes at least
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Replying to @The_Law_Boy
Love when Disney says "and look, she already got 20 million," because as we all know contract law is all about deciding generally how much money people ought to get in general. Just throw out a number, use your gut, so you get paid some lesser amount than had been agreed upon 🤷‍♂️
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Replying to @JimLyonsMA
Very cool that you've learned to recognize faces! We'll work on shapes later
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Somebody let her know that "not posting" is something that you can do
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Replying to @BeeBalthazar
It was never meant to help the homeless. It helps the people whose authority comes from "actually we say 'unhoused' now"
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Yes, very brown! Our central heating vents were chocolate brown. They paired interestingly with our mint-green dishwasher, fridge, and oven. People look at the music videos and some youth fashion of the day and think that everything was colored like that. Nnnnnnnope
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Replying to @ok_but_still
Judges love surprises, it's that simple
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Replying to @cowboy_postbop
For me, the secret sauce is that those jokes feel much less didactic than either site has felt in a while.
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Pedro Pascal had better watch out - it's risky to be a handsome, beloved actor with a good reputation and solid political support for good-natured, popular causes
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Replying to @superloafcat
If my wife did this for me, then I would assume that I had dementia
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I've seen a few alternative medicine quacks tout the "benefits" of "Vitamin B17," which is actually amygdalin, which converts to cyanide after ingestion. Insanely dangerous and pointless and ignorant nonsense. I had only heard of it as a quack *cancer* treatment before
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It's astonishing that more people don't realize that "please, call me $FIRSTNAME" is a power move, often calculated and typically effective
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Replying to @decoyrobot
Also, lube? "Baww that person's having sex what a loser lol lmao get outta here nerd"
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Replying to @nypost
Seattle finally taking a stand against domestic violence
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Replying to @opinion @bopinion
Source: De Beers, lmao
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It's interesting that movies, etc. rarely reflect this reality - the idea that art could be your hobby, but only a tiny number of people really "make it" - because movies, etc. are exclusively made by the people who have made it, in a sense
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Replying to @faceyouhate
Actually I was on set that day and I made sure she was dead at the end of the scene
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What if they attach a bell to the back door so that they can hear us coming!?!
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Replying to @PopulismUpdates
COURT PACKING
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Prometheus features allegedly-intelligent professionals making stupid and/or inexplicable decisions, but so does Aliens, a widely-acknowledged masterpiece. Cameron better contextualizes their arrogance, panic, and "mere humanity" in face of dangerous unknowns
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Indiana Joans (it's a bunch of women) (each of them grew up with a dog named "Indiana")
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Replying to @BasedByAccident
If you can't afford to pay the help then you can't afford the lightbulb
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Replying to @TheRightCant
It's like a show for a dying 90-year-old
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Replying to @faris__a__
Kanye is an extremely divorced guy His beef with Davidson reminds me of the bit in The Weather Man in which Nicolas Cage challenges his ex-wife's boyfriend to a duel by slapping him with a glove. Kanye has to keys to his own cell, he can free himself at any time by letting go
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Replying to @zblay
Whoa, that's funny. He was never a bad-looking dude, in his own way. Young JCR looks like a Lithuanian varsity athlete or something
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Latinx Greek Bulgarian Transnistrian
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Replying to @Srirachachau
Domino meme except it's "ROGER EBERT TELLS HIS COLLEGE DATE THAT SHE SHOULD START A TALK SHOW" at one end and "FORTY MILLION DEAD FROM HYPERMEASLES" at the other
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Replying to @AceXEdge
Went to law school with a rockabilly dude like this, and his wife was like that. They were a fun couple who had real jobs and enjoyed their lives. 🤷‍♂️
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Replying to @drvolts @ebruenig
I love them mentioning the gun found in her home. Who gives a fuck. It's inside her home. In Texas. She wasn't holding it. In her own home. When she was murdered.
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So much of culture is people coming up with ways to be perceived as a "good" person without having to share or give stuff back
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Especially during a still-ongoing pandemic, especially when your hobbies are mostly indoors and/or offline. It actually makes a lot of sense to just say who you are and what you're about and see who wants to hang. It's fucked up that anybody found that funny
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Replying to @DarrenRosenblum
I am absolutely baffled by any response other than providing your preferred email address.
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Underrated quality of Lynch - something that immediately distinguishes him from lame imitators - most of his "weird" stuff feels well-observed. We have all experienced something at least a little like randomly getting stuck at some weirdo loser party; Blue Velvet nails that
Replying to @Srirachachau
I love when they go to Ben's party and it's not at all a cool party, it's just like the biggest and weirdest middle-aged losers. It's played as surreal but it's entirely recognizable, which makes the scene so much more unsettling
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Replying to @supercomposite
I saw this crazy movie called The Ring about an evil(!) little(!) girl(!) and like WOW can you imagine hating women and children so much!?!?!?!?!? That is NOT what little girls are like! And they have the audacity to show her in a hospital! Some of us are sick for real, you know
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I love how incredibly stupid this case is - college students kidnapping and assaulting a 22yo for trying to meet up with an 18yo. It's also quietly terrifying how easily people can form a miniature violent gangs, for no "rational" reason whatsoever
Massachusetts college students charged with kidnapping military service member in ‘To Catch a Predator’ TikTok-inspired plot trib.al/jEt8SOr
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Yep. People forget her whole college project with a boat. Art school grads can smell this kind of person from a mile away
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I'm extremely online and this is incomprehensible
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The Chat Generation is gonna suck so hard and it's eventually going to reshape society in really stupid ways
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I think some younger people don't understand that 1) literary culture was MUCH bigger for Boomers than for younger generations, and 2) Thomas Pynchon is literally an extremely famous author, you are not super underground for having heard of him
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That's a hilarious poster...it's not a comedy, but it doesn't take itself too seriously
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I'm a big fan of going outside &c, however I also quite clearly remember great TV from when I was a kid. I contain multitudes
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Replying to @wxyzdetroit
Could this voice were any more passive? The cop shot the dude's house, claiming he was trying to shoot an injured deer
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Replying to @ecto_fun
I am not doing anything Twitter-like with my real name attached. Absurd
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(pointing at every object in room) "...and that's incest, and that's incest, and that's incest..."
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Replying to @Srirachachau
Doesn't help that Crimes of Grindlewald feels assembled entirely out of deleted scenes
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Replying to @BLMcKean
I love how everything I know about this philosopher is how she thinks and does weird selfish things, treats people poorly, and has problems parsing simple abstract concepts
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Replying to @PUA_DATING_TIPS
How many house parties have a "female restroom"?
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Replying to @fyeahmfabello
Is this a joke?
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Replying to @latimes
'I'm not going to let you cum': Denial JOI exposure almost busts San Diego County deputy
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Replying to @drmistercody
Punk rock, a scene famous for enthusiastically following other people's rules
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Fun fact: this is how Dan Aykroyd's Nothing But Trouble came to be. Dan Aykroyd, Peter Aykroyd, and Hollywood producer Robert K. Weiss caught a showing of Hellraiser, because Weiss was recuperating from a broken rib, so he didn't want to see something that would make him laugh
going into hellraiser blind in 1987 had to be so crazy
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Replying to @shoe0nhead
As somebody who actually is a parent: there already are family pride parades/events, and nobody is going to force you and your kids to go to a pride parade. People are imagining things: leather-daddies aren't going to run to your house and force your kids to behold them.
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Replying to @FOXLA
LAPD blew up their house, hth
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You there, stop making sense!
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Replying to @FacebookAIslop
I'm the one who took this picture (it was my idea to remind her that she has no husband or children)
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Replying to @leeeeebes
I will never understand the point of doing a land acknowledgement if you're still going to keep the land
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Replying to @TPM
When my dad died I committed zero terrorisms
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I literally don't see the problem with this? Females tend to have different bodies than males? It's weird to pretend all bodies are the same, or that the male body is the default?
House Democrat in charge of spending: "It is critical to fund the use of female crash test dummies for road equity"
Community note
The use of female crash test dummies has reduced female crash fatalities significantly due to the structure of their bodies and how the impacts affect them vs the traditional male crash test dummy that was the only point of reference. nhtsa.gov/nhtsas-crash-t… abcnews.go.com/amp/GMA/Living
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Lol, that's way more embarrassing than just saying "I like astrology because it's interesting and mysterious"
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Replying to @dogfanhan
If I was that dad I'd just nod and smile and say "okay" while silently wondering why you're telling me this
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Replying to @opinonhaver
I was at a film festival and I saw an interesting short from a woman who was a pharmacist and also a hobbyist animator. Her short was all about how much it sucked to "do her time" in a rural American town for $$$. Seems reasonable that her reaction must be fairly common
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