leisure / film photography / grateful dead / manchester united
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My son, 7, has discovered “deez nuts” jokes and it’s all he says now. Everything is deez nuts. He simply can’t stop.
I asked him where he heard that joke. He made me promise that if he told me, he wouldn’t get in trouble. I agreed. So he leans in and whispers, “deez nuts.”
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never forget about the insanely british kid who threatened to uppercut santa if he’s on the naughty list nitter.app/Sumvyah0/status/107405…
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just spitballing here but what if instead of a beer glass that makes you drink slower, there were a longbeck beer bottle with ridges in the neck (almost like a vortex) that shot beer down your throat at record speeds
Japan has invented a beer glass that makes you drink slower.
The shape of the glass slows down the pace of drinking by about three times.
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jackson mahomes trying to scale his way into kelce’s suite to do a tiktok with taylor
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just asked my son, 4, if he and his buddies have a name for their friend group at school
“the dudes”
honestly so sick
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this feels like when your boy in high school claimed a hot girl from a couple schools over was going to the dance with him and she actually showed up
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this goes crazy
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just spitballing here but what if instead of tiny beers that lower your consumption, there were a longbeck beer bottle with ridges in the neck (almost like a vortex) that shot beer down your throat at record speeds
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two celsius, no breakfast nitter.app/tenetyaoi/status/17891…
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bachelor party, night three, went too hard the first night, rebounded even harder day two, all catching up to you post-steakhouse dinner when you’re four figures down and don’t think it will hurt more to lose a thousand on top of it because you’re already at rock bottom, early flight out looming hard when you realize you’re operating on muscle memory alone and won’t be able to sleep, yeah let’s do one more double ketel and soda please
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Larry
PHIL COLLINS: so what exactly are you looking for
PRODUCERS OF TARZAN: just go tf off, king
PHIL COLLINS: say no more fam
PRODUCERS OF TARZAN: on god?
PHIL COLLINS: on god
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can’t even imagine how much blow these two ran through together, just piles of it
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stephen about to fire off a “haha was just looking though old pictures and saw this” text
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team usa looking like it’s night three of a bachelor party and someone made the steakhouse reservation for 9:30 instead of 7:30
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post-bachelor party two-hour drive to the airport and a late b-group boarding position on southwest
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you: *breathes*
girl in sequined top on new year’s eve: honestly fuck new year’s eve this holiday is so stupid where’s my champagne how dare uber charge 6x on the busiest bar night of the year can someone take a portrait mode photo of me in this dark bar where is caroline
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November 10, 1975 — 50 years ago today, The SS Edmund Fitzgerald sank in Lake Superior with 29 crew members aboard during a storm. Today we honor their memory.
"The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake, they called Gitche Gumee
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy
With a load of iron ore, twenty-six thousand tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty
That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
When the gales of November came early."
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how are you supposed to get locked in if they're just taking all your coping mechanisms at the door
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this is what it looked like when you were 19 and your buddy with a fake showed up with a handle of $12 vodka
Anthony Slater
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my w*fe scheduled professional family photos for 8 am friday after thanksgiving, traditionally a time when everyone absolutely loves getting their photo taken professionally
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i could watch david blaine throw up live frogs with drake dave chappelle and steph curry forever
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i dunno, arie, maybe just save the engagement ring for the vacation you’re about to go on rather than doing it in front of a live studio audience who hates everything about you
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Me at last call when the bartender's nowhere to be found. #Rio2016
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girls in their mid-20s on saturday morning
𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝
𝕞𝕚𝕞𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕤, 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖
𝖍𝖔𝖑𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖔𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊 𝖏𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖊
𝚌𝚞𝚣 𝚒’𝚖 𝚊 𝚋𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚜𝚜
ｗｉｔｈ ａ ｇｏｏｄ ａｓｓ
𝒿𝑒𝒻𝒻 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒽𝒶𝓈𝓃’𝓉 𝓉𝑒𝓍𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝑒 𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀
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just took a photo for two people in their early 20s and as i walked away one of them said “it’s okay we can just ask someone else to take another one” this is my hell
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older guy at the golf course saw me wearing a piece of dead apparel and gave us each one of these before heading out to grind on the range
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Chad Amaral
My son, 7, has discovered “deez nuts” jokes and it’s all he says now. Everything is deez nuts. He simply can’t stop.
I asked him where he heard that joke. He made me promise that if he told me, he wouldn’t get in trouble. I agreed. So he leans in and whispers, “deez nuts.”
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just saw two cool teens wearing masks on their bmx bikes which means they’re both healthy and siiiiiiiiiiiiiiick
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My son, 1, has discovered the word “dog” and it’s all he says now. Everything is dog. He simply can’t stop.
I asked him where he learned it. He made me promise that if he told me, he wouldn’t get in trouble. I agreed. So he leans in and whispers, “Had it in me this whole time.”
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i am a:
🔘 man
⚪️ woman
looking for:
⚪️ 100 calories
⚪️ gluten free
⚪️ 2g carbs
⚪️ natural flavors
🔘 all of the above
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“for this is all a dream we dreamed
one afternoon, long ago”
rip phil lesh nitter.app/RyanBusillo/status/184…
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the cooler is filled with white claw. the jet skis are full with gas. your body is drenched in spf 4 banana boat tanning oil. florida-georgia line radio is playing in pandora. your wife just left you. life is good.
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me: i’m not doing much today but i’ll let you know
me after three margaritas at lunch:
^_^
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we got married on a sunday at 4:30, typically a time i dread but now a time i’ll cherish forever
so many people have reached out and we beyond thankful
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wow, my 25-hour-old son just said, “but dad, didn’t those clubs realize that their supporters would revolt because it was a blatant money grab by greedy owners who don’t have an actual interest in the well-being of european football?” very cool
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shane paid for the pineapple suite, was not given the pineapple suite, and therefore was completely justified in being upset at white lotus management
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any future purchase i ever make will pale in comparison to this edmund fitzgerald fleece-lined vest, i’d carry a photo of this to war if i got drafted
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someone unknowingly referred to their seltzer water as being "like non-alcoholic white claw" at the pool the other day and it was at that moment that i realized how powerful the white claw brand has become
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as someone who thought camila cabello should've been a solo star from her season of x factor, i have something to say
'havana' goooooooooes
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tbh this is the biggest red flag we've seen yet
Donald Trump could be the first President without a dog in the White House in nearly 130 years ind.pn/2l8uL9i
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wished my wife a happy earth day today and my 36-hour-old boy said “actually dad, every day should be earth day” so needless to say we’re in good hands with the future generation, so awesome
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took things too far at the rehearsal dinner because you were excited to see everyone, barely fit in the groomsman suit anymore, going to sweat the entire ceremony, can’t stop thinking about the first beer at cocktail hour
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hey @SouthwestAir i was just informed by your “flight attendant” that you don’t serve black cherry white claw ???
please fix this
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