If you assemble enough people wearing Patagonia vests, a venture fund spontaneously forms around them.
South Beach
- Tweets 2,453
- Following 729
- Followers 46,519
- Likes 23,857
When a bootstrapped competitor is growing faster than your venture funded company
nitter.app/Meich/status/128598237…
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Engineers giving VCs demos of GPT-3
nitter.app/TheoShantonas/status/1…
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Fifty Shades of Whey
MBA students when registration opens for the “Intro to Venture Capital” course
nitter.app/welcomet0nature/status…
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Late stage investors “adding value”
nitter.app/Protohedgehog/status/1…
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When ex-Google employees join a startup:
nitter.app/asv141/status/15823623…
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When solo founders pitch customers but use third person pronouns like: “our product” and “we are looking forward to working with you”
Mr. Drinks On Me
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10x Venture Capitalists
LPs, if you come across this rare breed of fund manager, immediately wire your commitment. Having a 10x VC in your portfolio significantly increases your odds of actually beating the S&P 500
OK, here is the $1B question:
How do you spot a 10x VC?
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Remember when founders could get away with not including numbers on their charts? Those were good times.
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Founding CEOs: I'm irreplaceable
VCs when growth slows:
nitter.app/richardiii/status/1720…
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Why remote work is the future in two pictures:
What ~$1M gets you in Utah (near SLC) vs in SF
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The Bad Game Show
Mary Meeker may be the only person in history to convince VCs to read a deck with over 300 slides
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VCs getting pitches for travel startups
nitter.app/Alpha_Taurus_/status/1…
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There are some early warning signs that your child is going to become a VC.
Parent: "Want to come to this birthday party?"
Child: "Who else is going?"
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How founders feel when their VCs try to renegotiate term sheets and then tweet that they are “open for business”
Adi
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Flight attendant: Is there a doctor onboard?
VC: *raises hand* let me know how I can be helpful
Dad: *facepalm*
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What goes in your Twitter bio is one of the most important decisions you can make as a VC.
This flowchart should help
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Ways VC could actually add value:
An in-house designer focused entirely on designing fundraising decks for portfolio companies raising a follow on round.
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After being on VC Twitter for a while, you are able to categorize most tweets into a set of categories.
Looking at the last 24 hours of my feed, here’s a thread of the types of tweets I saw.
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As we approach the end of the decade, we took a moment to highlight the top VCs going in to the 2020s
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There's a reason why VC firms love hiring former product managers for junior VC roles.
PMs are used to:
* not having any authority
* being in meetings all day
* writing long documents to justify their decisions
* mastering organizational politics
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Please cue the big acquisition VC Twitter playbook:
* Shock & Awe from industry observers
* Congratulatory tweets from investors who boast about how great the founders are
* “We almost invested” tweets from VCs who passed
* Breakdowns of why this was a genius move
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VCs: “Our firm is open for business”
* As long as your company has $10M in ARR and willing to take a $5M valuation
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|-------------------------- |
| BEING A FAN OF |
| @STRIPE's LANDING |
| PAGES AND EXECUTION |
| ABILITY IS NOT A |
| PERSONALITY TRAIT |
|--------------------------|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
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Being active on VC Twitter is a core part of being a venture capitalist, but many VCs don't know how to participate.
This flowchart should help.
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MBA students when a top VC firm posts an opening for an associate role:
nitter.app/chaselyons/status/1275…
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An Auburn Man
VCs tricking first time founders by putting the option pool in the pre-money valuation
Lo Mejor Que Verás Hoy 👏
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Request for Legal Tech Startup: A chatbot that only charges you $350/hr to tell you that “it depends”
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David Howard
This is a little know fact: In Silicon Valley when two companies backed by the same VC clash, it is customary for the legal teams to respond in iambic pentameter and the matter is arbitrated through a poetry slam.
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Increasingly convinced that MBA programs are actually just a clever financing mechanism for burned out consultants to take multiple international vacations
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VCs pivoting into climate tech investing in 2020 after seeing top funds announce their interest in the space
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Stop talking trash about different VC firms
Sequoia is LEGENDARY
Benchmark is ICONIC
a16z is PROLIFIC
Founders Fund is FRIENDLY
Softbank
Bedrock is CONTRARIAN
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"Humbled" to introduce the "Things VC Say" bracket. In a crowded field of VC-isms, what is the one to rule them all? (A thread with polls)
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VCs explaining how they were crucial to building a billion dollar company: “So the key insight we figured out and executed on that let us win the market was ...”
Their actual involvement:
Aviator Anil Chopra
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Series B firms showing up at YC Demo Day:
nitter.app/welcomet0nature/status…
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Subject: Mediocre Ventures <> Your Co
From: associate@medicore.vc
"We'd love to schedule a quick call to introduce you to the ways we can help your company grow. Even if you're not fundraising right now, it'd be useful to connect for the future. Here's my Calendly link"
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📍”We’re an early stage firm”
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| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
\
📍being the first check |
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ /
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📍 asking who else invested
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Live footage of investors at YC Demo Day trying to meet companies raising at under a $15M pre-money valuation
BuzzFeed News
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People: “We-“
Silicon Valley VCs: “Actually, WeWork isn’t a tech company and it’s not even based in Silicon Valley”
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Someone asked me if I'll ever run out of VC parody material but
after reading this thread, I'm more concerned that the VCs themselves will beat me to it
10x engineers
Founders if you ever come across this rare breed of engineers, grab them. If you have a 10x engineer as part of your first few engineers, you increase the odds of your startup success significantly.
OK, here is a tough question.
How do you spot a 10x engineer?
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Introducing the Miami VC Starter Kit: Everything VCs need to move to Miami.
miami.vcstarterkit.com
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I can't wait until people start using "oversubscribed" in casual conversation
"Sorry. I'd love to come but I'm oversubscribed"
"Your charity looks great but my wallet is oversubscribed"
"I can't have another bite. My stomach is oversubscribed"
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Peter Thiel's purchase of a remote New Zealand farm in case of pandemic certainly looks prescient in hindsight
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Going to try this with twitter. If you’re a VC, founder or journalist, DM me your thoughts on the Away piece and I’ll anonymously post your response here
(and I’ll commit to keeping your identity confidential)
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VCs pushing angel investors out of rounds:
nitter.app/WoofWoof_TV/status/116…
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Jed Bridges
Family offices trying to get into the sidecar SPV when they hear that Sequoia is investing:
nitter.app/singareddynm/status/11…
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Broke: layoffs
Woke: layoffs + integrity blog post
Bespoke: layoffs + integrity blog post + $200M fundraise at a 2x higher valuation
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You: [says literally anything]
VCs: That reminds me of one of our portfolio companies, that does [something tangentially related]
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Which company is going to be the first to arbitrage the desire to be a “Product Manager” by renaming every role:
“Product Manager - Customer Success”
“Product Manager - Engineer”
“Product Manager - Business Operations”
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How to spot a VC in SF:
✅ Gray Patagonia Vest
✅ “they are in the Developer Tools Space”
✅ “Proliferation of SaaS”
✅ “Stripe, Plaid, Twilio”
✅ Struggling to explain what an API is
(OH near Jackson Square)
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Founders trying to raise a family, build a billion dollar business, and run an early stage fund of their own all at the same time:
nitter.app/CucumberTonic/status/1…
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It turns out you don't need to travel to the center of the universe to discover a black hole.
Just try sending a deck to the "Submit a business plan" email listed on a venture firm's website
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Your periodic reminder that saying "I knew that startup wouldn't work" is not that insightful considering most companies fail
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Trying to fix a business with negative gross margins in the middle of a crisis
nitter.app/Alpha_Taurus_/status/1…
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Branding Consultant: “How would you best describe what you do here at XYZ Ventures”
VC: “We turn boat money into yacht money“
Consultant: ”Right. So maybe we will just go with ‘Back world changing founders’ then”
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Request for startup: if someone says “new normal” during a call, they are automatically muted for the rest of the call
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When you are the co-founder of a health tech company that sold for $2B and are about to get into a Twitter fight with an influential VC (Sound On)
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VCs to LP: Our deep technical analysis and data science produces novel insights and deal-flow.
VCs on Twitter: Which companies in the serverless blockchain space should I be talking to?
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VCs on Twitter: "Can the Nevada election results come any slower? What kind of shop are they running?"
VCs emailing founders: "Sorry for the delay, we're still waiting on some due diligence. Let us know if there any developments in your raise."
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Overtime
Local founder shocked to learn that the YC Alum who offered to prep them for their YC interview just happens to run a small fund
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WFH Flex Ranking:
1. Idyllic outdoor garden backdrop (bonus points if you apologize for the occasional bird sounds)
2. Packed bookshelf backdrop with Caro biographies
3. A DSLR with a good lens and soft lighting
4. Keeping your camera off the whole call
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Now @TheOnion is getting into VC parody too
Silicon Valley Leaders Sit Down With Wildfire At Investment Meeting After Being Impressed By Its Rapid Expansion trib.al/DXK56hF
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Advertising that your company is in YC Startup School is the startup equivalent of adding Harvard to the education section of your resume because you once enrolled in an online “executive leadership” workshop.
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