i quite enjoy this until like mid january when i suddenly get very suicidal
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once in australia my hat fell off into the water & a turtle gave it back to me, thats how i learned animals know what clothes are
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these types love their catholic identity more than they love God because their idea of God is not as a loving personable entity but as a conceptual bulwark against everything they dislike, morality is inseparable from vulgar aesthetics
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every time i see a seal im struck with the knowledge that in scotland we have a whole genre of folktale warning people not to get seduced by these creatures
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accidentally smoked too much weed and mentally entered the fallout 4 settlement building menu
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what do you think is the single craziest belief you hold? for me i genuinely believe i can appear in peoples dreams if i really really try
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actually my haircut is terrible on purpose, its a sign of humility & supplication, kind of like a monk of a qing dynasty railroad worker
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this picture of him is insane like it should be making young men suicidal because they can never live up to it
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post a pic where your soul was blackened with the weight of sin, when you were desolate & without care or mercy or absolution
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not enough we need to start castrating dudes #darkwoke
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the real culturewar is between those who romanticise their sadness & those who pathologise theirs
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every year around this time the six months of vitamin d deficiency & the burgeoning beauty of spring distill into something within me i have taken to calling march madness
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i bring a sort of “do you believe in God?” to the restaurant that a lot of first dates really dont like
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“poor charlie kirk they killed him, great guy. good kid, really smart. big fan of me personally, he said that. but they shot him- they killed him, they shot me as well but i survived”
unfortunately none of your tweets will be as funny as when trump inevitably insinuates he's more manly for surviving a gunshot
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its actually so good i was at a wedding yesterday and everyone was sweating buckets and i was cool as a cucumber
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its funny how dasha went from critiquing the search for meaning in consumer identities in neoliberal society to inspiring a bunch of young women to spend all their money on rosaries
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man in the pub asked me what team i support & i replied “im not much one for sports, a good book & a stiff drink & im contented” & as i uttered it i realised this is the type of thing oblivion npcs would say to you unprovoked
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sorry for bookmarking your selfie i just need to shape my eyebrows in like an hour i promise im not weird
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do you ever find yourself walking with a peculiar gait because you focused too much on The Squares & accidentally locked in
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“im feeling chinese tonight” is possibly the funniest way to phrase your dinner preferences
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“a true alchemist can balance his own humours through sheer willpower” as say before i pass out from low blood sugar
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if you ever went into a coma i would put lip balm on your lips so they wouldnt become dry & open the blinds & the window so you could still feel the sun & the breese i would serenade you gently so you never forgot the beauty of song
“Don’t ask friends for help moving as an adult” “don’t ask friends to do a potluck as an adult” you can literally ask me to hold your hand at the dentist and I will do it
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