my RTs are an endorsement. My views & opinions are that of my employer & other people. Preferred pronouns bloke/geezer. Anti-vaxxer. Conspiracy Theorist.
A galaxy far, far away
- Tweets 142,184
- Following 172
- Followers 5,407
- Likes 52,127
Hey @sainsburys you’ve not only made the chocolate unstealable, it’s also unsellable. Can’t even get it out without ripping the product to pieces. The whole shelf has these plastic sliders, so no gaps to slide them out of the way?????
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When I see #unvaccinated trending and read the tweets from my fellow unvaccinated. This is how I picture us all 😎
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Stopped at a Tesco petrol garage in Barking. Huge queues, people waiting to pay. Card system is down and can only take cash. I’m the only one with cash on me so I’m paid and away. Imagine the carnage if we get a cashless society and the who system goes down. Can’t wait 🙄
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Just went in to get a sandwich. Came out and see my cab in some good lighting. Criminal that this cab can no longer be used as a London Taxi as of this year 😡
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Save our black cabs? 😂
How about WE save them|
Don’t broom
Get your card reader “fixed”
Don’t dress like a tramp
Don’t keep your cab like a shitcart
Use Google maps to avoid traffic
Use Twitter for other helpful info
Be polite to punters
Don’t bung DPs
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It’s been allowed to go as far as it has because they know it keeps us divided & distracted. The perfect strategy that has been used for 100s of years.
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I remember when this was a bus & taxi lane on Creek Road. What amazes me is the cycling lobby managed to convince someone they are more important that buses.
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No idea why Rogue One is trending, but that hyperspace jump though, and when gold & red leaders appear 😎
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Sister got married yesterday so me and the missus got scrubbed up. Naturally I wanted my cab in the photo too 😁😍
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Big shout out to doorman at 34 South Audley. Hails me, I wait 5 mins, punters come out and say they are gonna walk. They give him a tenner, I get nothing. I just smiled and went to drive off, but he hands me the tenner and says “you got 5, we’ll split it” 👍😎
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That boycott black cabs hashtag has been rough to business
2 nights in a row I've had to turn my light off or I wouldn't have got home 😂💰
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Young punter in my cab, the kind who uses Uxxx. Telling me about her & her friend’s horror stories, thus why she won’t use them any more. This is what I’ve always said, don’t troll their customers on here, leave them alone, and they will realise on their own and come back to us.
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So many PHV not knowing what lane to be in, and as such, are pushing in from filter lanes. They do not get in in front of me, and YOU should not be letting them in either. Seeing too many cabs let them in. Stop that!
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Great thread. For me it was having to wear a mask to shop. For the first couple of months shop staff didn’t have to wear them, yet I saw the same staff every single time. Not one was ever off sick, despite being in close contact with 1000s daily.
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Was it someone who had monkeypox, but at the time of death he was juggling grenades while balanced on an angry alligator, in a lake filled with hungry piranha?
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Rickshaw c*nts. The police know how they operate but leave them to it. Well done that cabby.
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Tom the cabby got a PCN for going straight across from Saville Row. Luckily he had a dashcam. This will get him off. @CityWestminster you need to refund every driver. This is just fraud. He said many just paid 🤦♂️
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Won my Beech Street Tunnel on appeal at the adjudication and didn’t even attend. They said the time was tight, so if you ever drop, take your time. They added that my tone was threatening, and my accusations of “cheat” motorists is unsupported. F*CK right off. We all know.
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Just did a @tom_the_cabbie. Spoke to the cyclist at the next red. Phone was resting on my lap, not in my hand. Apparently he was intimidated. Woman didn’t even seem to notice the sign he gave her from what I saw.
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We’ve lost a huge portion of our roads to cycle lanes that are hardly used. Now we’ve lost huge areas of pavements to e-bike dumped on the ground. How did we let this minority of road users get so much power? 🙄
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If a Prius realises he's in the wrong lane for a turn, it is your duty to keep him in that lane until he misses the turn 😇😎
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Lady POB, I start driving
“Can you put the heater on, otherwise you won’t get paid the full amount”
Cheeky fecker, threatening to pay me less because last punter turned it off!
Me “sorry, last customer must have turned the heater off”
“Not heater, METER”
DOOOH🤣🙈
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20 years together today. One of our first pics together and one of the latest. The chin has definitely landed 🤣😂
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Stunning sunrise for our last day in Cornwall. To say I’m gonna miss waking up to this view every morning is an understatement 😭
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Putting the new fare chart in, knowing full well not a single customer in the history of the London taxi trade has ever read it.
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I bet the way you choose to walk over a zebra crossing, tells us a lot about you. Wait for traffic to stop before stepping out. You’re a thoughtful person.
You walk straight onto it out of nowhere, meaning we all have to slam on the brakes - you’re a complete thoughtless C*NT
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I AM A FUCKING GOD!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 the 86% who said I wouldn’t win the appeal for the Kingsway U-turn are c***s 😜😜. My appeal was the photos of me doing the u-turn didn’t show the signage saying you couldn’t. Adjudicator upheld my appeal even though I wasn’t there in person 😃
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It’s baffling. I don’t get who he’s talking to. It’s almost unanimous across all social media that the majority of Canadians are in support of the truckers.
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Going to take some time off social media as it’s not good for me mentally. There are just too many haters and I think I need some time to find a healthy life balance. Be lucky everyone 👋
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When the job is literally taking you to your doorstep and they ask “so where you based mate?”
And you tell them the complete opposite side of town to not only stop them asking for a discount, but increase likelihood of sympathy tip 😇
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I allow well dressed bloke to bring in his plastic cup with little bit of beer in. Pays at other end CC, legalled, gets out and I don’t see the cup in his hand. Once he’s indoors I go into the back and return the favour by throwing it into his garden.
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Mate you better start running your tweets by me before posting. You keep falling for the most obvious parody and fake tweets 😂
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Very clear image of one of the Lisson Grove gang sent to me from a driver who got bilked for £20. Added to my bilker list. Have a good look at the faces to familiarise yourself. stormcab.com/page22.htm
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FML, cabbies trolling Uxxx users. Yeah, that will win them back. I’ll tell you what, if a company I’d used had let me down, I’d tweeted about it, and a rival company trolled me, you can bet your arse I’m never using that company, and I’m telling them to F**K RIGHT OFF.
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Get busy living or get busy dying. Another trip in the bag. Nice last minute deal to Agadir Morocco. A comfortable 21° for a week, with 7pm sunset.
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Watching the news reports about the power outages across Europe. People had no cash, and couldn’t withdraw it to pay for essentials.
Well you all wanted this folks. You were warned. Cash needs to be kept alive.
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Junior doctors going on strike and the daily fail finds a single one who is doing ok, and splashes it across social media to keep us all divided and fighting each other.
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Look, economy is bad at the moment, that's the main issue. We all know how to improve things, but 95% won't do this -
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Yo @metpoliceuk there are 2 high powered cyclists currently going west on Oxford street. One phone snatched, another attempted. Bold as brass. Not a single copper any where.
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Great day. Well worth while if you haven’t done any of the taxi charity stuff yet. Just wish there were some afternoon ones so I could do more often.
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That is shocking, considering they are the most protected humans on Earth. Everything they do is automatically brave, if you say anything remotely bad about them you get deplatformed, lose your job, and get bombarded with death threats. Strange indeed.
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I’m going to start taking cash out of the bank to pay for things I’d normally use card for. Like shopping. We need to keep it alive. People don’t seem to get the dangers of losing cash. You say a “problematic” word online, and “they” freeze your bank account for a month.
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Always remember asking an Arab driving a top spec Ferrari how he got it over from Dubai.
“Did you have someone drive it over for you?”
“No I had it flown over”
“Flown! Must have been expensive?”
“It was free”
“Free? Why?”
“It’s my plane”
😲
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Major bucket list item checked off. Micky Flanagan. He was on for 80 minutes, I wanted him to stop at an hour as the sides of my face were hurting 😂😂
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anti-vax? All you MSM outlets that worded their news like this will be remembered in the future.
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Gets hailed by a guy with an open box of chips
“Sorry I can’t allow food in the cab”
“Come on mate, we won’t spill any, we’re going upto Broxbourne”
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I can’t be the only one who has picked up this head case? Berkeley Hotel to Barnes High Street. Got in saying her Uxxx had cancelled, then moaned all the way saying I took her the long way. Fulham Rd, New Kings, Putney Bridge.
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Every science class? Err what about all the thousands of PHD scientists who either eat meat, or ONLY eat meat? They clearly didn’t fail every science class did they.
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These c***s who come down the outside on Commercial Rd to turn left into the Rotherhithe. Everyone else letting them push in, c*** who tried to do it with me got run into the barriers. F*** off and queue like the rest of us 😡
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My days now. I reckon if I sell my cab, me & the missus go on the dole, and I cancel all non essential outgoings, I can live like this forever 😂😂🤣
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14th wedding anniversary today. Been there, done that. Just a few of the places we’ve been - Hong Kong, San Francisco, Jamaica, Bora Bora, Maldives, South Africa, Bahamas, Monument Valley 😎
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Symptoms are
1: you grow a wool coat
2: you say “baaaaa”
3: people count you to sleep
4: dogs herd you
5: you live on a farm
6: you eat grass
7: there’s a nursery rhyme about you
8: you taste good
9: your plural is the same as your singular
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Same people tweeting how good their day has been are also shocked cab rents are going up 🤦♂️
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Finally got an email to say I’d won my Edgware Road PCN. An easy win, and didn’t attend. Not only were my reasons accepted, the utter useless gimps at TFL didn’t even send the tribunal a copy of the CCTV. Not that it would have done anything for them 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
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Piccadilly closed all weekend, Marylebone flyover closed, temp lights at Baker Street & Marylebone road causing chaos in all directions. This is on purpose. No governing body is this stupid.
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850g t-bone steak, and the missus had a fillet. £51!!! That’s would be the t-bone along in Miller & Carter.
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Boat trip out to see the Maunsell forts. WWII gun forts. Always seen them as a speck from the shore, amazing to see them up close and personal.
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F*cking love my job. Absolute piece of p*ss. I basically drive around looking at the sights, people watching, and have podcasts playing constantly through an earpiece. Occasionally someone puts their hand up, I let them onboard, at some point they say stop and give me money 😃
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A @MartinSLewis trick worked like a charm. Put something I wanted in a basket online & left it. 24h later, email “still want it? 10% off” 😎
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Been in 2 hours, going home. That’s me done until I hear the economy is picking up. It’s as quiet as when covid first hit, but hundreds more empty cabs. If you’re wondering whether to try, I’m suggesting you save your fuel. Your choice, but I’ve given you my take.
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F***ING DEAD!!! Peacock at the Hurlingham Club absolutely loves my shiny cab. I ask him if he likes it, he actually replied 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Dropping 2 students off at their halls of residence, they are looking at the inside of the cab door
“so, how do we open this mate?”
“The black handle under where it says exit”
“Oh”
They’ll be doing London’s road planning when they graduate 😕
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I remember several years back, one of the things my cab failed an inspection on (meaning not in good enough condition to pick up paying customers) was a chewing gum wrapper in the back ashtray. Yet a pedicab can safely take an adult and 4 children with no belts 🤷♂️
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Just thinking back to before I was a cabby when I had several normal jobs. Getting shit for getting in 1 minute past your start time, but regularly having to work up to 30 min past the end of your shift unpaid 😡. Being a cabby RULES!
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“We closed the Piccadilly Underpass, started digging up a lane on Knightsbridge, so when drivers tried to cut through Pont St, we sent a crew there to dig up a lane and put in temporary lights”
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Hey entitled pedestrian c***s. If you’re approaching a zebra crossing and are going to get to it at the exact same moment the only vehicle on the road will get there, maybe hold back 1.57 seconds and let it pass first? That’s is exactly what I would do.
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Seeing more & more cabbies getting PCNs for these roads with lengthy restrictions written on them, I’m beginning to wonder about their legality. How is it safe to have to slow down for several seconds and read them, then try assimilate the vast confusing detail?
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For those who haven’t been to the area in a while, or only just coming back to work since last year - avoid Highbury corner like the plague. Even at 10pm on a quiet Sunday night with no traffic, it still took 10 minutes to cross. Worst junction in London by far.
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Had to ramp down the aperture to f40 on my camera to get the setting sun in focus with my taxi sign. 👌👌
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The number of punters who tell me of bad experiences in other cabs is shocking. I tell ya, if one of these tech firms gets its act together, we won’t last long. We really need to tackle these internal issues, and drop this “don’t be a grass” shit.
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Drove the new Davies/Brook St layout and did a very quick diagram. The red arrows are turnings you can now make.
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Job to Charlton from Waterloo. Takes me home. She asks
“Where you from?”
I always say somewhere opposite in case they try for a discount
“Harrow”
Then you just pray they don’t say
“I grew up in Harrow, know it like the back of my hand. Whereabouts?” 😂
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18 years together. Pics here from the last year. Trying to “get a life” as I keep being told 😂. It’s not just all about waterless & Rubik’s cubes 😜
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That thing where a punter hands you a note to cover the fare, but doesn’t say “keep the change” but the tone of “thank you” tells you it’s all yours to keep
You still pretend to be counting coins until you can clearly see they’ve walked off 😅
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Almost forgot about this. Took it before we flew to Hong Kong. Missus was naturally rolling her eyes when I handed her the phone 😂😂😂
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Elizabeth Avenue in Islington has always made me laugh.
Imagine, you’re heading for this road, you go to turn in, and while you’re trying to watch the oncoming traffic, the traffic behind, the traffic and pedestrians on this road, you also have to read all this and understand it
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