VP, Member of Technical Staff @ MSFT/GitHub - Code, OSS, STEM, Beyoncé, T1D, #DevRel YouTube/TikTok and listen to the @Hanselminutes tech podcast
Portland, Oregon
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This is AMAZING. How mRNA vaccines work. By @hotvickkrishna as seen on his TikTok vm.tiktok.com/ZMer33eCn/
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My mom sent me this picture of my dad watching the live stream on the Microsoft website today. He doesn’t understand what I’m talking about, but he says he’s proud of me.
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Showing a young person my arcade cabinet and they said 'ohh, I like the bathroom buttons.' Sigh
ALT Player One Player Two
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My Teams meetings always end SO awkwardly and it's not clear when to leave.
So I made live end credits.
(no post credits scene)
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Quarantine work !== Remote work.
I’ve been working remotely with success for 13 years, and I’ve never been close to burn out.
I’ve been working quarantined for over a month and I’m feeling a tinge if burn out for the first time in my life. Take care of yourself folks. Really.
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This is an arbitrary bit of gatekeeping that is both culture- and generation-specific. In doing this you’re also gong to skew results to people who act and think like you, thereby decreasing intellectual diversity on the team. A thank you is classy, but not a disqualifier.
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SARS: Nigerian youth, celebrities protest against controversial police unit accused of brutality msn.com/en-us/news/world/sar… #EndSarsNow #EndSARS This affects Nigerian Developers disproportionately as they are likely to be carrying laptops
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This is a weird feeling as I’ve dedicated my career to sharing others’ achievements but I’m gonna to take a moment to celebrate myself. I’ve been promoted to Vice President of Developer Community at Microsoft!
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Hey friends - we've open sourced the code to 1995's Microsoft 3D Movie Maker github.com/microsoft/Microso… Thanks to @jeffwilcox and the Microsoft OSS office as well our friends in legal and those who continue to put up with me being a nudzh. Thanks to @foone for the idea! Enjoy.
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So Windows 10 has "Game Mode" to optimize when playing and streaming. It has "Presentation Mode" when you're using PowerPoint and projecting.
I propose Developer Mode. I want Indexing off, Virus checking off, max filesystem speed, optimized caches, etc. IDE/Text editor priority.
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Here’s the thing folks. I’ve been coding 32 years. When something like this happens it’s an organizational failure. Yes, some human wrote a bad line. Someone can “git blame” and point to a human and it’s awful. But it’s the testing, the Cl/CD, the A/B testing, the metered rollouts, an oh shit button to roll it back, the code coverage, the static analysis tools, the code reviews, the organizational health, and on and on. It’s always one line of code but it’s NEVER one person. Implying inclusion policies caused a bug is simplistic, reductive, and racist. Engineering is a team sport. Inclusion makes for good teams. Good engineering practices makes for good software. Engineering practices failed to find a bug multiple times, regardless of the seniority of the human who checked that code in. Solving the larger system thinking SDLC matters more than the null pointer check. This isn’t a “git gud C++ is hard” issue and it damn well isn’t an DEI one.
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Me today at Microsoft
ALT I’m a genius. I’m a Moron. Metronome oscillating between the two.
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This is MASSIVE. The Windows Subsystem for Linux in the Microsoft Store is now generally available on Windows 10 and 11! Windows 10 users can now run Linux GUI apps natively! devblogs.microsoft.com/comma…
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I explained in several paragraphs what @github is to my niece.
Niece: “So, it’s Nerdstagram?”
Me: “That’s fair.”
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Cinnamon Toast Crunch shrimp tail guy is married to Topanga and that completes 2021 bingo for me.
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Me: 30 years writing software for money
Also Me: Googles how to hide a div with a querySelector
Hang in there #codenewbies
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This was my setup for my home office the day I started at Microsoft in 2007.
ALT Three old CRT monitors
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I prefer to put my raw SQL statements in textboxes on the client side so customers can modify them directly and have more control.
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WTF? You couldn’t just analyze the code could ya
C++ is hard. Maybe they have a DEI engineer that did this but for mission-critical software like this Crowdstrike should have set up automated testing using address sanitizer and thread sanitizer that runs on every code update.
github.com/google/sanitizers…
clang.llvm.org/docs/ThreadSa…
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Minor medical situation on the flight and it’s cool that my wife is able to jump up and help out when they ask for a licensed medical professional.
One day someone will need a regular expression so I stay ready.
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TIL a new software term: "Scream Test" - When you don't know if something is still being used so you take it away and see if anybody screams.
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Friends. Let’s get real. Student loan debt is ruining the US. I’m here in Europe, dude has a PhD and THEY PAID HIM A SALARY TO GET IT. We need to get our shit together or we are screwed, globally. Education shouldn’t be a privilege.
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What’s the easiest way to make a chatbot that I can feed 50 to 60 gigs of PDFs into and then have a grounded conversation about roughly 6000 medical papers? Where is the relatively inexpensive “throw gigs into a folder and get RAG” solution? #AI
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Folks on my TikTok asking questions like “is 27 too old to learn to code?”
NO.
UNLESS YOU ARE ACTIVELY BEING EMBALMED YOU CAN LEARN TO CODE
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I’ll say this once. My wife had cancer. If I’m having a Cancer fundraiser, I don’t need you or anyone else running in yelling “All Diseases Matter.” Right now, #BlackLivesMatter and it’s OK for you to say that. Say it. You don’t need to qualify it any more. No “but”
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My wife (a nurse in a COVID ward) just got the notification she's in the first group at her hospital to get the vaccine. She'll get it Friday 7pm. 🥳 Will report back.
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A lot of people don’t realize how much work goes into making some thing look like it was no work at all.
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In the Microsoft Archives vm.tiktok.com/ZTdgYRb2j/
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My wife got me an awesome Swiss Army Knife for our anniversary. She says it reminds her of me because it does A TON OF STUFF very poorly.
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Where do you think the dataset came from? Destroy the human and the ML is trained on…what? AI is cool but pro tip - actually knowing stuff is cooler.
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Life hack that I’m deeply ashamed of but also is too useful to keep to myself.
Greasy chip fingers messing up your expensive laptop?
Type from inside the bag.
I apologize.
ALT The chip bag is my gloves.
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Reasons for taking a paid day off for developers:
* got the flu
* mental health/self care day
* child care
* messed up a git repository so much that I just need to leave the building for a while and be somewhere else
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Amazing tip for teachers this coming week I saw on our internal school group. Tape a pencil to the back of your laptop and tip/hang a CD over the front, angled down. Instant free document camera.
ALT Cheap document camera
ALT Use a CD for a document camera
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someone defended firing 88% of the staff in a message that said "it's just DevOps." Oh, you sweet summer child.
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Can hardly believe it. This is Windows 10 in 2021.
ALT Installing Ubuntu
ALT GIMP
ALT Gimp
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So you’ve got a $44B problem and you’ve decided to solve it with Regular Expressions…
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I wrote a blog post on December 22, 2003 where I talked about how nice it was to have three monitors. Every few weeks the picture - now owned apparently by the internet - goes viral. Here’s the original. Enjoy.
ALT Three old monitors
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Our company has a new policy where 1 hour meetings are just 55 minutes, thereby freeing an extra five minutes to weep softly at my desk before the next video call starts.
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As a Vice President at Microsoft I always ask interviewees if they have a strong opinion about folks who ask them if they care about coding fonts. Then I have those folks stop interviewing my candidates.
As a Staff level engineer, I always ask interviewees if they have a strong preference on coding fonts. If they do, they go right in the bin. Focus your energy on what matters
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For more info, just visit this URL
ALT an incredibly long URL printed in a newspaper classified ad
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Dumb question, but are these “as our eyes see it” color images or are these false color or post processed? Like what’s the FOV? If we were floating in a space suit would we be able to see this? How far away would we be to have this view in our own field of view?
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I burst into tears at physical therapy today. The year just hit me all at once. It hurts. Between diabetes and this temporary paralysis, it’s been a week. 2020 is ass.
It’s OK. Happens a few times a decade. Maybe it happens to you twice a week. Let it out, listen to your body.❤️
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Nothing is more powerful than NOTEPAD.EXE
ALT You can't shut down or log off Windows because Notepad's Save As Dialog is open
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Should you get into software engineering only for the money?!? #CodeTok vm.tiktok.com/ZMdTwvoTB/
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It’s ok to have Imposter Syndrome! You’re not alone. #programming #codetok #CodeNewbies vm.tiktok.com/ZMJvks9Hm/
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Just let you know what kind of a person Abel Wang was, even in the middle of everything he was going through, he was sending texts to comfort *US*
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How can you tell if you’re writing modern JavaScript?
Try it in Internet Explorer! If it doesn’t work, it’s modern JavaScript!
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I’m realizing I often stay up late as a way of trying to take back control from the days I can’t control
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"We've enjoyed interviewing you Scott, great job on all these real-world not-whiteboard interview tech questions. One last question. You've been coding for 25 years. What's the Markdown for a URL with custom title text?"
...
"Can I google it?"
"No."
"I'll show myself out."
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Anytime I’m traveling I use Google Translate to check translations in real time on signage. You have to see it to believe it. This is real and LIVE while you move your camera. @ Paris
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Throwback. This was my first #diabetes app “Glucopilot” on the Palm Pilot. Mid-90s? #wearenotwaiting #t1d
ALT Young Scott
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My wife is from a “shithole” country. She has an MBA, two BSs, is a registered med/surg nurse, and speaks 5 languages. I went to community college. We’re both Americans with value that came to our citizenship via different paths. We are equals.
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My son just turned 18. He hit us with the “given we’re all adults here…” argument literally two minutes after 😂
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I use this in all my meetings at work last week. 80% of folks knew something was “wrong” and half asked me to “make it stop.” It’s close, but it’s creepy.
Introducing Eye Contact by NVIDIA 👀
NVIDIA just released a new Eye Contact feature that uses AI to make you look into the camera.
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Don’t worry. #Crowdstrike did the same thing to RedHat Linux last month access.redhat.com/solutions/… caused kernel panic
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Something I've learned in near 30 years of being in Tech.
Not everyone knows what they're talking about.
You don't have to take advice if you think it's bad advice.
Collect nice people like Pokémon. Discard the mean people.
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I’m sorry but this isn’t healthy software culture.
The Internet Explorer team was the hardest-working team I’ve ever been on. And I’ve worked at multiple start-ups. It was a sprint, not a marathon. We ate every meal at the office. We often held foosball tournaments at 2 am, just to get the team energy back up to continue working!
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I am planning a hand recount of my savings account, hoping for an additional $6.3 million to show up.
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All this tech. LCDs, ARM processors, gigs of RAM, WiFi, VMs, just so I can avoid opening the fridge door?
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So, Amazon wants everyone to return to the office. Does that mean they also want us to return to the mall and supporting small local businesses?
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One of the number one rules of software development, never ever deploy software on a Friday.
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If I'm ever fired from Microsoft, it'll be either because we Open Sourced too much stuff, or because I lost this $13.95 receipt from Qdoba and have a late expense report.
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The person in front of me at the drive-through paid for my order. That’s never happened to me before, so I paid the next 10. Merry Christmas.
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Explaining #Meltdown to non-technical spouse.
“You know how we finish each other’s...”
“Sandwiches?”
“No, sentences. But you guessed ‘sandwiches’ and it was in your mind for an instant. And it was a password. And someone stole it while it was there, fleeting.”
“Oh, that IS bad.”
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My wife on the phone with her Zimbabwean auntie. I can hear them on speakerphone.
“I see the pictures you put on bookface. Scott is aging all alone. Try to be nice to him.”
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Everyone is concerned that they’ll put a microchip in your blood so they can track you - there’s no need, you’re carrying one in your back pocket. Relax.
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Early in career coders: You know how old-heads can magically solve a problem in 5 minutes? It’s amazing. What they don’t mention is that’s because the magic of being senior is YEARS of debugging and HOURS of googling and reading and walking. They’ve seen it before. You will too!
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“Now I can run npm install”
ALT That’s a lot of hard drives, used to process a photo of the black hole
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