#embodiment oriented psychotherapist & consultant - Forever #GoBlue
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I published a new essay on embodied defense mechanisms. Defenses are not just psychic operations like projection, splitting, or intellectualization. They are ways the body organizes experience as it forms, shaping what can be felt, owned, narrated, or pushed away.
connect.emotive.energy/p/emb…
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Umm... is this the kind of flower that talks, sings and eats people? sfgate.com/bayarea/article/c…
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So the Huberman saga shows that people can use psychotherapy to learn to mask & avoid symptoms of deeper problems
They can speak words, use tones, even embrace the body language of an actualized, well-adjusted, compassionate, open-minded person
A "branded" false self persona
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"Complex systems, like the brain, are not static—they are inherently dynamic."
- @PessoaBrain
"Entangled Brains" bit.ly/3CIPvd3
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🌶️🌶️🌶️ #opinion
Most psychiatrists who think they are capable psychotherapists
Are not
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Psychotherapy researchers understand psychotherapy and how to properly measure the process & impact
5%
Absolutely yes
26%
Sort of yes
36%
Sort of no
32%
Absolutely no
118 votes • Final results
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Experts in psychology cannot escape their unconscious bias, or their own unseen defense mechanisms
None of us can
No one is “objective” with their views or assessments
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I think we need to accept that psychotherapy can be “informed” by science … but cannot be “scientific”
Efforts to make the process “scientific” devalue and fundamentally alter “the process”
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Cognitive reframing works, until it doesn’t. Embracing strategies that distance a person from their capacity to feel will ultimately produce an avoidant person.
Emotion regulation is like other skills: it takes practice.
After 2 weeks of daily journaling to reframe unpleasant events, depression dropped, life satisfaction rose, and the benefits lasted at least a month.
The best way to improve at managing emotions is to do it more often.
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Has “leadership development” delivered enough brave, insightful, capable leaders in your organization?
[pls share, comments welcome]
16%
100% “yes”
12%
Mostly “yes”
32%
Mostly “no”
40%
100% “no”
100 votes • Final results
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“Psychoanalysis is a developmental psychology which considers early experience to be reactivated in adult life under conditions of anxiety and conflict, one source of which is the discrepancy between the demands of individuality and those of the group.”
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I’m sick of therapists bashing on other therapists
Maybe your public enactments of imagined superiority ARE ALSO creating the ethical harm you complain about
b/c these “superior therapists” seem to always conflate “not right for me” with “terrible for everyone”
#arrogance
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It’s important to remember the original purpose of meditation & mindfulness practice is building a physical-emotional capacity to directly experience “difficult” experience
It is NOT a method of “feeling good” … though many have co-opted aspects to manufacture those “results”
I've suggested mindfulness for hundreds of people, but it's not for everyone/causes harm for some.
10% have adverse effects- mostly anxiety or depression/rarely depersonalization or psychosis. Should require an informed consent.
Very valuable warning:
sciencealert.com/meditation-…
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country living update:
- everyone is happier, more relaxed
- kid really enjoys 5x more free play
- wife & I are truly connecting more
- accepting insects as friends now
- silence & slowness still shocking
- worrying less, fewer shitposts
- eating healthier food, better mood
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If you think #CBT is whack, may I please introduce you to kooky stylings of #changemanagement
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Reading tweets from CBT and Psychodynamic peeps makes one thing clear to me
Both frameworks prioritize the role of “thinking” in remedying “feeling”
Which imo is a major mistake
Though one that is not entirely useless
Thinking is just one kind of #embodied action
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🌶️ a therapist can only work with the transference they feel
🌶️🌶️ conceptualizations of transference can detract from the direct experience of the transference
🌶️🌶️🌶️ therapists can unconsciously use their mental knowledge of psychology to block affective experience
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Is there being “in professional love” w someone?
Admiring them
Appreciating them
Taken by their character
Or knowledge or capability
Certainly this is the same field as “love” love … but I’m asking
Is non-sexual “love” of a colleague & their amazing qualities … legit?
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Nancy McWilliams: “Many people feel that they have made a maturational leap when they can intellectualize under stress rather than giving an impulsive, knee-jerk response.”
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#theory
“cancel culture” exists because our society has lost touch w healthy pathways to admitting mistakes, forgiving others, tolerating differences
much of which requires a willingness to feel emotionally challenged & overwhelmed in moments
within a real sense of community
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If psychodynamic framing were “not pathologizing”
we’d see more announcements like
“I’m famous researcher Bob. I too have a strong narcissistic patterns of relating, w misogynistic overtones stemming from difficulty w my mother, plus grandiose fantasies of myself & my work”
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Presenting to Kaiser Permanente execs: psychological safety as driver for productivity, cost savings, patient quality
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“Instead of thinking of the body as a structure of cells and organs, it makes more sense to think of it as a process.”
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Hi psychoanalysts. I’ve just been educated on Twitter on how “transference is bullshit” …
Which means I’ve passed Level One psychoanalysis training, right!
🎉🕺🏼⛹️♀️🙌🏼
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I wish more people held their opinions, beliefs more “lightly” & “openly”
I’m often shocked by the levels of rigidity many wield in their day-to-day
I appreciate the person who can engage in dialogue w real curiosity
Who can hold complexity & uncertainty w care & discernment
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“Neuroscientist L. Pessoa describes the brain as a highly networked, interconnected system that cannot be neatly decomposed into a set of independent parts. One can't point to the brain & say, “This is where emotion happens” (or any other mental faculty).” mitpress.mit.edu/books/entan…
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I’m starting to believe that a person cannot *really* understand psychodynamics without being a parent themselves.
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Psychodynamic psychologists often lack the expertise to consult with organizations effectively
Their training focuses on individual unconscious processes, which doesn't necessarily translate to addressing the complex, systemic challenges faced by organizations
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There are two types of psychotherapists …
1/ those who think there are two kinds of psychotherapists, where those like them who are “good” & those not like them who are “bad”
2/ those who embrace diversity of both people & practices
#ChooseWisely
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One of the insidious side effects of an organization embracing “positivity” is this strengthens an aversion to anything but “pleasant interaction”
So “difficult interaction” goes underground, through back channels, indirectly, passively
Which diminishes psychological safety
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my heroic sister caught a typo on my private practice website ... I was missing an "f" in this sentence below ...
"... in helping people shift patterns of behavior ..."
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Some people try to manage their anxiety by controlling other people
Often b/c they are unclear about the psychological-emotional distinction between themselves and another
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“What are examples of toxic positive statements?
- “Forgiveness sets you free.”
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “Think positive/Stay positive/Good vibes only”
- “We’re all going through something.”
- “You’ll be alright.”
- “Have an attitude of gratitude.”
…
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I wish “somatic psychology” had someone like @JonathanShedler
A leader in the field who tells the truth, inspires people to really deepen their skills, engage their ethics
I find the sub-group woefully, consistently lacking in the kind of dialogue I crave
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“Reich characterized the chronic holding of the breath as “the most important tool” in the repression of emotion. This leads to an armoring in the chest area, and to psycho-physically controlling one’s feelings.”
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Ugh. It’s not “symbolizing” or “controlling” your feelings that helps. It’s the capacity to experience them and embody them, ie to engage w them, that helps you gain self influence …
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What makes #Gestalt therapy unique?
- focus on here & now
- therapist “is real person”
- client expert in themselves
- therapist expert in process
- works w “field” of awareness
- explores how awareness moves
- engages polarities, experimentation
curious if you have a pov on what makes gestalt unique. i worked with a gestalt therapist for a few years and it was great. but i never quite figured out what made it gestalt
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Are there any psychotherapists on this platform who are married to (or in serious relationship with) another psychotherapist?
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🌶️
Bickering over “who really knows psychology” shows a lack of insight about psychology
🌶️🌶️
Demeaning others, their “lack of training” or “stupidity” reveals a personal insecurity, projected w cruelty
🌶️🌶️🌶️
Humans are very very diverse & differences should be embraced
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🌶️🌶️🌶️
Psychotherapy is not a “real” relationship. But there is realness in the therapeutic relating.
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On #psychoanalysis
- incredibly, uniquely effective
- the “true” relational therapy
- my 10+ yrs analysis v v helpful
On #psychoanalysis also
- some “experts” are arrogant, rigid
- their awareness fails sometimes
- they rarely / never “own it”
- instead “teach” something
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🌶️ no need to keep this to the therapists. Good for all humans to grow!
“Can they hear critical, difficult, painful, & frightening thoughts, especially about them, non-defensively & w/ curiosity & interest while trying 2 help create meaning & work through the experience?”
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Just sent my old analyst a note appreciating her yrs w me in CA
She helped me through one of the hardest times in my life & I don’t know if I could have done that w/out her
Also shared that I’ve started with a new analyst in NY & that I really like her too
Got #feelings 🥺☺️
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My personal psychotherapy resume
- 5 yrs psychoanalysis 2x/wk (ongoing)
- 3 yrs self psychology
- 5 yrs couples therapy
- 11 years somatic therapy
- 4 yrs Gestalt groups
- 2 years T-groups
That’s not even all of it!
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Good (enough) therapy:
Stays connected during emotional intensity, embuing the client with the real-time experience of feeling safe, differentiated while also feeling a precarious, emergent sense of self
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“… the Coping With COVID study, found that burnout approached 50% in 2020 among 9266 physicians across medical disciplines. Last year’s survey results, which haven’t been published yet, are more dire still, according to study coauthor Mark Linzer, MD” bit.ly/3Mn7UPt
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🌶️
All psychology terms are made up
🌶️🌶️
Mostly by white dudes
🌶️🌶️🌶️
Some of whom copyright that shit
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“… we bring recent evidence from neuroscience and allied disciplines to argue that in modern humans, language is a tool for communication, contrary to a prominent view that we use language for thinking.” nature.com/articles/s41586-0…
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A lot of people are under the impression that "psychology helps people change"
Where I would say "psychology helps people understand themselves"
... can bring acceptance
... can relax concepts of "should"
... can enable lots of "paradoxical change"
#gestalt inspired post
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“Instead of: 'I should be able to have more self-control,' it's more like: 'We all naturally dissociate in many ways throughout our day -- whether it's daydreaming or scrolling through Instagram, we stop paying attention to what's happening around us.'" bit.ly/3yUQJ4C
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In my article, dropping soon …
“When a person can differentiate the affective complexity of their own internal world, they can more easily form a permeable, flexible emotional boundary between self and others.”
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How is “positivity” at work potentially “harmful” you ask?
- it can restrict dialogue that can lead to improvement
- performative emotion can increase burnout
- people who don’t “feel positive” can feel isolated & discouraged
- moral injury can increase from avoidances
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McWilliams: “(defenses) … begin as healthy, creative adaptations, and they continue to work adaptively throughout life.”
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Person: “I’m going on a mindfulness retreat!”
My somatic mentor: “What are you retreating from?”
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McWilliams on #differentiation
1/ People in a psychotic state seemed fixated at an unindividuated level in which they could not differentiate between what was inside and what was outside themselves;
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I think psychodynamic therapists on Twitter should make more public statements about their own healthy & unhealthy personality dynamics
- modeling “normal” dysfunction
- shirking projections of “better”
Instead of commenting about others online, or “teaching” here as much
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And also problematic when “educated” people believe that what they know & want to know … is all they need to know
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relational patterns are emotional, embodied & mental
Most people don’t realize (or actively avoid) the interaction & embeddedness of these co-occurring phenomena
they are part of the same gestalt … w attention focusing on the preferred, manageable aspects of experience
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for me it was ... the cultural wasteland of the early 80's was completely unbearable ... and what's hilarious in retrospect is that REM really isn't that good ... but compared to Phil Collins & Lionel Richie ... couldn't get enough
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If your analyst, supervisor, consultant or online hero believes “racism in psychoanalysis” or “DEI efforts” are misplaced or foolish or “not about the work”
Then your your analyst, supervisor, consultant or online hero does NOT understand psychoanalysis
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Psychodynamic peeps when I say “your frame is to help you manage your own affective overwhelm”
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What Reich called “body armor” is really more like
“body experiencing dampening”
we each might hold & squeeze (sometimes quite subtly) our
- neck
- shoulders
- pelvis
- jaw
- diaphragm
- mouth
- anus
as a way of avoiding or arresting sensation
aka “defense mechanism”
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Excellent work from Heike Langfeld, Dagmar Rellensmann, Ulfried Geuter, Gustl Marlock, Halko Weiss, Hans-Jürgen Buch and Christine M. Grimm on #bodypsychotherapy #somaticpsychology
Source: The Handbook of Body Psychotherapy and Somatic Psychology
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🌶️🌶️🌶️
It is convenient for consultants & organizations to believe this hogwash that pushes “burnout” onto individuals. But here’s the truth:
- burnout is a systems issue
- individual factors play a part
- organizational issues are drivers
- post traumatic growth is not linear
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The major disservice BvdK and Peter Levine have perpetrated is to relabel everyday “nervous system dysregulation” as akin to “trauma”
They. Are. Not. The. Same.
And to “teach” these concepts with an air of scientific certainty to thousands and thousands
Egregious. Harmful.
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"Any random dude on the street could listen to you whine for five minutes and tell you exactly what your problem is."
Let's play!
@MattWalshBlog problem: too certain about things he certainly does not know about
One of the problems with therapy is that the source of your troubles in life is almost never some deep complex thing that you need years of therapy to uncover and understand. Any random dude on the street could listen to you whine for five minutes and tell you exactly what your problem is. But if therapists gave simple answers, they'd be out of a job. They need to keep you there and talking. That's the whole business model.
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What’s really wild is the idea that “reading papers” will improve or alter the capacity to “feel things”
Intellectualism actual hinders emotional capacity
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🌶️ There is no such thing as a “master therapist” and the concept should be actively avoided, especially by the therapist who imagines themselves reaching this fanciful “status”
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“In social psychology, collective narcissism (or group narcissism) is the tendency to exaggerate the positive image and importance of a group to which one belongs.” bit.ly/3lghFn3
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#Reminder
Expressing “negative” emotion can be unconscious, projective, impulsive, enactive & contagious
aka “venting” or “discharging”
Expressing negative emotion can also be integrated, differentiated, clarifying, self-affirming & boundary-making
#NotTheSame #embodiment
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Psychotherapy ≠ observe, ask, reflect, learn and challenge
Psychotherapy = creating new patterns of relating
#embodiment is #required
Last I checked psychotherapy, group or otherwise, involved zero carnal relationships and no impregnating…
…although with human therapists this sadly happens all too often.
A machine can, however, observe, ask, reflect, learn and challenge…psychotherapy.
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Arlene Montgomery: “Transference, simply put, is the current experiencing of self-and-other representations that have their origins in past experiences.”
Me: so transference cannot be avoided; it is part of all human interaction
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Emotions are made up of feelings that have enough intensity to organize into a behavioral pattern
Emotions are organismic statements about our state and what to do about it
Emotions seek to change outer and inner situations
Emotions have direction and intent, an embodied logic
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