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AEGIS OF THE HOLLOWED KING, my new album of instrumental doom metal thematically inspired by dark souls 2, is now available on all streaming services. thank you so much for listening.
🔗 👇:
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i do not want to save to onedrive. i want to save to the documents folder. on my computer. that i have. in my house.
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if you respond to emails and teams messages quickly then you can get away with basically anything at work
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animal planet had a show called "the most extreme" where they would do lists of animals. they did an episode on the deadliest animals. i was ten years old when i watched this episode and i cannot tell you how pissed off i was when they revealed that number one was "mosquito".
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you should basically never start working until at least 10:30am. you should also start wrapping things up for the day around 3pm. and we musn't forget about the traditional hour lunch.
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in documentaries about cults somebody will be like "im a lawyer. there were doctors, engineers, etc. and we all fell into the cult. no one is immune, even the smartest people." but heres the thing. i would not fall into a cult. no fucking chance. get out of here with that.
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the geniuses at the LAPD noticed a medical diagnostic clinic had high energy usage so they raided it for no reason and a cop had his gun looney tunes style stolen from him by powerful magnets.
LAPD raid goes from bad to farce after gun allegedly sucked onto MRI machine
sfgate.com/cannabis/article/…
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vacuuming is an s-tier chore. it’s a pleasure to do. doing laundry is WOATed, f-tier easy. it sucks.
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oh nice microsoft opened this document in protected view. this useful feature is keeping me safe.
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balatro is pretty fun, dont get me wrong, but i think it would be vastly improved with open world exploration, rpg elements, and a deeply personal story about trauma and chosen family.
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oh that? yeah that’s just The Pattern. you’re going to be Noticing it more lately.
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we’ve all got that one homie who is taking poison damage over time who’s always like “gah. oof. ugh. gah. oof. ugh. gah. oof. ugh.”
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hey man, come through we’re at the new brewery in the worst part of town. it’s at 300% capacity and there’s one bartender.
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re: worst songs of all time discussion, i am a little surprised that i have seen no mention of "all about that bass". a truly vile song.
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these people told you they were going to revolutionize art and science, cure cancer, fundamentally change human existence, and what they have delivered is More Ads
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i dont think that selecting "remember this computer" has ever done anything even once in the history of computing
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if you are struggling to make ends meet due to rising inflation, a simple way to make some extra money is by winning a few bets via sports gambling
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one of lifes great pleasures is purchasing some overly expensive canned drink from some company youve never heard of and then its just kind of whatever
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Monsieur Vin
a crank opinion i hold very strongly is that ring and other home camera surveillance services don’t make you any safer but do serve to make you way more insane
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it’s totally fine to say “we” in reference to a team than you’re a fan of. never understood anybody taking issue with that.
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as a man of upstanding character, i am hesitant to comment on a womans appearance on the internet. however, i would be remiss if i did not point out mrs. sanchez's striking resemblance to the titular "the mask" from the 1994 jim carrey picture "the mask".
Jeff Bezos is about to make his wife, Lauren Sánchez, a star!
Insiders recently revealed Bezos’ plans to launch his wife into a prominent acting role in the James Bond reboot, claiming the billionaire is fixed on seeing her in the film.
“He’s obsessed,” a Hollywood insider dished to a news outlet. “This isn’t just fantasy casting — Jeff wants her on screen, period.”
More details here: ow.ly/xRLf50WCvSJ
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i go to the sink. i fill my glass with clean healthful room temperature municipal tap water. i down the glass in 5.6 seconds. i refill my glass and take patient, measured sips over the next 30 minutes. this is the elite water routine backed by medical science. learn.
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me (no beers): i will never read from the human skin bound book of the dead. i will not chant it’s dark messages.
me (four beers, smiling): hell, lemme see that book of the dead, brother. what’s one rune reading among friends?
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americans would never do anything to actually oppose or revolt but a blanket increase in the price of every product we buy every day will almost certainly result in a brand new kind of dangerous violent mass psychosis. which is pretty neat.
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falling for trans panic shit is a sign of deep moral failing, cowardice, and true stupidity. be serious.
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you wanna come to the food truck festival? it’s going to dope. it’s in a parking lot with no shade or place to sit. yeah, and the lines are going to be ridiculous. yep, it’s going to be much worse food than your average restaurant. and the prices? WAY too high. should be fun.
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it’s such a good prank that nintendo built the switch with the capability to use bluetooth headphones and just didn’t turn it on until years after it was released. one of the best companies of all time.
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the shooting actually took place under the watch of eric adams, who is currently the mayor, and has been such for several years at this point.
New York City’s deadliest shooting in the last 25 years has put public safety front and center in the mayoral race and highlighted a potential vulnerability for front-runner Zohran Mamdani on.wsj.com/40JwiVn
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(while reading a fantasy novel) oh nice, a poem or song in the middle of some narrative. im absolutely going to read that.
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they’re doing a new version of hot ones. it’s called “savory ones”. as the interview goes on the guest is forced to eat increasingly sumptuous food items. “oh my this is just delectable” they will say at the end, sweating and crying.
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i’m sorry to give this any amount of attention but this would result in the worst basketball you’ve ever seen
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twitters search function is largely totally cooked but credit where it’s due, my search term only actually contained one word in the tweet, but it pulled up exactly what i was looking for on the first result
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easily the best thing about the star wars prequels is the battle droids. their characterization is so funny. stupid, cowardly, kind of arrogant, they talk back. why would you program that way? great henchmen. good laughs.
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just a quick reminder to everybody before the nba season starts that basketball is not that important. whats important is your agendas. you need to push your agendas. about basketball. your basketball agendas are everything and you live and die by your agendas.
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i think my most misogynistic belief, and i apologize in advance, is that i’ve noticed that, and again i am sorry to say this, sometimes women don’t finish their cans of sparkling water as frequently as men do.
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every game in the nba is between two frauds. if you lose, your fraudulence is proven. if you win, you’ve won against a fraud, and have thus proven nothing.
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this video goes around every march, it’s so special. it’s a very funny answer but it’s also some of the rawest human emotion ever put to film. he’s so real for this.
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every flight you board now does announcements about how they need like half the flight to check their carry on bags at the gate because there isn’t enough overhead space. the situation is untenable.
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sometimes microsoft excel decides it doesnt want to do copy paste. thats okay. i didnt need to do that. its not a problem.
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as the famous proverb goes: "if you give them an inch, they'll stop there, and they wont take any more"
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hey man can you meet me down at the creek? uh huh yeah that one. no particular reason. ignore the name.
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the worst part in all of this is now the most vile “people” in human history, lakers fans, are completely justified in posting shit like this. my god are they wicked in their ways.
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a key element of fascism is making it appear that the entire world is organized against your group when in fact you are in the most advantageous and powerful position in society. the los angeles lakers are a textbook example of this phenomenon.
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people in new york and LA love being like "actually in any other city im a 10" while they look like a habsburg family burn victim
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you typically do this when you have nothing to hide
Breaking News: Speaker Mike Johnson said he would shut down the House until September to block a vote on calling for the release of the Jeffrey Epstein files. nyti.ms/4nZtblR
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people misunderstand the rodgers thing. he isnt going to play. but hes doing this so that he can say "well i beat mainstream medical science and could have played but we were out of it already so i didnt". hes doing it to, in his mind, score points on the concept of medicine.
Breaking: The Jets are opening the 21-day practice window today for Aaron Rodgers.
It has been 79 days since he was diagnosed with a torn Achilles.
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“he’s so easy to work with” is the single best thing that people can say about you at your job
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grocery store sushi is among the most healthful meals available for the human body. you can have it for dinner every night and you will experience a sense of vigor and energy that no other food type can provide.
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various doctors and professors: wow, im so smart, but he is so very charismatic. i'd better sell all of my worldly possessions.
me: okay so i see what youre doing here and while i respect the vision i have my own thing going on.
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my house has all this copper wiring in the walls that’s just sitting there, i should tear it out and sell it in order to pay my mortgage
Suppose that you personally owe others $37 trillion. Suppose you own millions of acres of land you’re not using, have never used and never plan to use. Now assume others offer to buy your land. Can you think of one reason you would not sell it? Asking for a friend.
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murdoch fired tucker because his ex-fiancee thought tucker was a biblical prophet
Fox Corp chair Rupert Murdoch reportedly removed Tucker Carlson from the air over religious remarks the host made during a speech Friday night.
“That stuff freaks Rupert out. He doesn’t like all the spiritual talk,” a source tells @gabrielsherman. vntyfr.com/1vNAuTW
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its very important to me to make the time to watch this nerd explain really boring home appliance technology for like half an hour every now and again.
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im watching a popular crypto guy on yt right now and hes saying stuff like "why are we worried about the price of bitcoin? you will never find peace in money. i encourage you to look to christ for that."
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one of the easiest ways to tell if a book is good or not is to take a quick look at the cover
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there should be a sports team whose mascot is an unimaginable specter of pure fear
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hey man thanks for getting the fantasy draft together. i’m flexible, can basically do whenever as long as it’s not any time during the work week, and i definitely cant do nights, and weekends are kinda tough lately. mornings also arent great, and im really busy in the afternoons.
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if only there were a tweet that accurately expressed the political ideology of this kind of lakers fan. maybe one day.
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the organic peanut butter that you have to stir the oil into is the single worst product that you are legally allowed to sell in the united states
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watched goodfellas for the first time in many years last night and goddamn joe pesci talking about the dog painting is so goddamn funny it’s unbelievable
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this one will stick with me. what did it get you? equivocating on protecting people, leaving it up to the states. it didn’t even work on the cynical power struggle level. for what? to get completely fucking destroyed anyway.
"I believe we should follow the law," Kamala Harris says when asked by Hallie Jackson if transgender Americans should have access to gender-affirming care.
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illegal sports streaming websites should have no ads, be available in ultra high quality, work flawlessly every time, and honestly they should also pay me to watch sports as well
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harrison butkers comments about women were plainly terrible and deserve all the criticism that theyre getting, but its pretty wild how glossed over its been that, in the same speech, he said "you aren't allowed to say who killed jesus"
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the decision to criminalize homelessness was made by a reactionary republican court, but it will be wielded by proud democratic party mayors who have been looking to cruelly punish the most vulnerable people in our society for a very long time.
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why the fuck was the LAPD reviewing medical center energy usage anyway? because they smelled cannabis? in a city/state where marijuana is legal?
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sure, it sucks living in the most expensive real estate market in human history right next door to the architects of technocratic neo-feudalism, but at least the air is always on fire
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this is an embarassing thing for a man in his 30s to have an opinion about but its crazy how ugly the modern pokemon art style is. highly repellant. i dont think its nostalgia to think that they really had an interesting and appealing style in the past but have seriously lost it.
First look at gameplay for ‘POKÉMON LEGENDS Z-A’
Chikorita, Tepig & Totodile are the starter Pokemon.
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they should make a medicinal strength gatorade that you can only get with a prescription
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it’s unreal that chotiner is the only journalist in america who will go “right. and what do you mean by that?”
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before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. that way, you can take revenge on two different guys, twice as much revenge. which is great.
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i dont like how microsoft has largely replaced "save as" with "save a copy" on their office suite of programs. its undignified. childish.
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leg lengthening surgery is so funny. yeah man what women love are guys who’s arms are weirdly short for their height and who are falling down all the time.
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in late 2023 the "serious thinkers" on this website and in the media at large called you a q-level conspiracy theorist radical if you suggested that israel intentionally bombed a hospital
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