one good turn deserves another.

my life can best be described as a comedy of Erin’s
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two men were leaving the bar as my roomie and I walked in and one of them said “want to go back in?” … lol just lmao
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I’ve always wanted to eat ballistics gel thank you for the tip.
UM ok i just discovered the best high protein low cal 0 sugar dessert snack… which basically involves making jelly with gelatin and ur fave protein water mix…. shook? and it tastes amazing
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really wanted a fried chicken breakfast sandwich but I had yogurt and fruit instead.
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described my dog as a “man of few words” and the uber driver didn’t laugh. gonna open the door on the freeway.
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there are kikis and boubas everywhere for those with eyes to see
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how it feels to cross the street before the walk sign comes on
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saw a post from a Japanese dog account where the translated caption included the phrase “butt detective” but the timeline refreshed so I couldn’t save it. if you’ve seen this post please send it to me thank you.
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that 30 to 40 feral hogs guy remains one of the most vindicated main characters.
I can’t stop thinking of this massive wild hog that was killed in Logan. I didn’t even know Logan had wild hogs.
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got so high I thought I knew someone named Ian
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stop drinking diet cokes with jokes and come drink coke zero with a hero.
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🍓
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I paid $8 for this and it was worth every penny
I need Homer Simpson to sing Zombie by The Cranberries
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this and then getting a margarita tower >>>
Incredible things are happening in Chicago
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charging my phone using my work laptop and hitting “don’t trust”
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he had a goldilocks moment and tried every available water bowl.
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oh?
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joe biden can win the election if he hits a vape on stage, unfortunately this would kill him I think.
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as per my last fumble,
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I’ve been doing stuff with tuna that is so messed up it can only be described as 1970s
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🌼🤗
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found this in the pocket of a secondhand coat I bought and I’ll be keeping it forever.
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today is my dog’s birthday
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second cup of coffee #vroom #vroom
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Replying to @CobrastanGuy
the flaming lips warned us about this.
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happy birthday to me, Tracy Morgan, Walton Goggins, and diplo
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a sign of the times.
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one of us fell off the bed today but I won’t say who.
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girl who is going to lock in
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why does she kinda look like she’s about to butt mog some zoomers?
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sometimes lightning does strike twice…
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he holds these treats to be self-evident
Replying to @ratsnotagain
he resembles a founding father
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well, yes!
White people be like today is my dogs birthday
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how it feels to go off on a man who deserves it.
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third cup of coffee #weeee
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hmm
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this is gavin newsom
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I am not living la vida loca. I am loca becuse of la vida.
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Replying to @chiweethedog
oh you weren’t kidding omg thank you for the rec
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shop cat was happy to see me.
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I’m not a threat to the general public but I am a threat to men with chest hair.
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*daft punk one more time voice* bald ann dowd
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happy nye from us
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roommate told her lifter boyfriend that his arms were “looking smaller” please pray for that poor man
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sending him a four paragraph text
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dating apps in SF are crazy, what do you mean you’re “post-romantic” ???
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I don’t have a real ID so I’m just going to look really good at the airport, ask very nicely, and hope for the best.
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it’s so important to have inside jokes/comedic bits with your dog.
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thinking of couples costumes after the first date
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Replying to @D_Radiance
maybe!
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Replying to @kumbuchaqueen
you can have it for free :)
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I’m everywhere I’m so julia
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thank gosh it’s friday
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feeling exactly like my hair today
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I am always one bad day away from becoming this
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24
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the linkedin energy is crazy
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2
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uhhbuhh whatever you say boss
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2
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if you don’t like turkey it means your family is bad at cooking it, I’m sorry.
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happy short king day (6/4)
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man, what the hell is going on with that lower half. more questions than answers with this new pic.
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just peachy
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3
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only one episode of severance out
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my body tea? probably matcha but maybe earl grey.
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for personal reasons, I have to look the hottest I’ve ever looked tonight.
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went to a farm and I look star-struck in every single photo.
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I can make a house a home so fast it will make your head spin, bitch.
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probably should have saved that bar anecdote for the group chat. oh well.
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2
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it’s a head scratcher
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2
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we can’t be stopped.
whatever is happening here needs to stop immediately
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that account that posts the sex position of the day doesn’t even have a blue check … just in it for the love of the game
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you don’t really see malts anymore
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microdosing being a girlfriend by clicking “try tonight” when my computer asks if I want to update.
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8
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best types of walks (in no particular order): 1. walking all the way to the end of a long street. 2. choosing streets at random. 3. following the sunlight. 4. seeing a cool building in the distance and walking to it.
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born too soon for literally anything good born too late for literally anything good born just in time for microwavable soup dumplings
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happy messy hair monday
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when the door creaks and you get scared so you crawl in your mom’s lap
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me when they tell me to “blend in”
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woke up craving a big sandwich. could happen today. we’ll see how this develops.
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everyone say happy birthday grandma or else
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2
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don’t even need to check the comments I know this is at the grapevine off the 5.
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having a good hair day, hbu?
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gave a random girl my bikini on the 4th of July because I never wear it and she just sent me a picture of her wearing it Italy 🥲🥹
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really productive day for us both
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let’s be cuddle bugs with mama
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what the hell is his problem
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I will share an old picture of myself that I still love. will you? 2016 erin, à paris.
If you’re seeing this drop an old pic of yourself that you still love Wow, no gray hair. If I’m remembering correctly, I bumped into Shane McMahon about fifteen minutes later at Brookfield Place. He was unexpectedly friendly.
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#NewProfilePic but I might switch it back because I don’t really like change. we’ll see.
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concept: a scrappy little terrier mix named fritter
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@͟science can we get some of our best minds working on nicotine lollipops? thank you in advance
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zoom happy hour at work when everyone is stressed and busy and it was my idea.
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roommates are sort of like spiritual coworkers
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a breakfast sandwich is any sandwich you eat for breakfast.
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learned how escalators work
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we had a jumping contest after this
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