Lung 🫁 MD| Associate Professor|@hopkinsmedicine | New Book: press.jhu.edu/books/title/33… |Podcast link👇🎙️
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Brought my dad to work today.
A retired union painter, all he did was stare at my degrees 😊
Degrees that wouldn’t be possible without his emphasis on prioritizing education and working to afford the schools I attended.
Thank you, Dad😊
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Daughter told me a boy asked her out in school.
Me: What did you say?
8 yo: I said I can speak 3 languages and was the lead in my camp’s play. What can he offer.
Me: 😳
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My mom asked me to check in on my 83 yo dad while she’s out.
I go home and catch him eating ice cream in the middle of the afternoon.
Apparently, he keeps a secret stash that only comes out when my mom is away 🤦🏻♂️
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I, a board-certified physician, was the recipient of a drive by “baklava” drop off at my office because my mother said i looked thin this week 🤦🏻♂️
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My mother would like to throw out an incentive to get vaccinated against COVID19:
Free homemade baklava.
Repeat.
Free. Homemade. Baklava.
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Hospital parking should be FREE for all patients and their families and loved ones.
And for employees too.
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Me, to my Greek aunt: Want to come over for dinner?
Her: No, thanks.
Me, to the same aunt: We have nothing to eat. Want to help us make dinner?
Her: On my way. I’ll be stopping at four stores to pick up ingredients. Set oven to 450. I’ll bring my own cooking utensils.
Me:🤦🏻♂️
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Being asked by a 7 yo if there may be a COVID19 variant that hurts children more than adults.
Me: It’s possible.
7 yo: Then why aren’t adults getting the vaccine to protect us?
🤯 Here’s to children adulting better than adults.
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My mom made baklava for her orthopedic surgeon and his staff today as a thank you.
Let me repeat: home made baklava for their office 😳
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After work, I’m coming home to find my daughter has her friends over and they are all being fed by my mom, who’s talking to each one in Greek, and each one is eating and nodding their heads.
Of note: None of the girls are or speak Greek 🤦🏻♂️
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Nurse: your dad is getting better but he says he is hungry but not eating our food.
My mom, in the most passive aggressive Greek wife manner: That’s not food. I’ll bring him real food.
Things are going great 😊
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And so the final hours are here, as we begin the process of saying goodbye to my sweet mother 💔
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My niece just blew me off by saying she has a Zoom meeting.
She doesn’t own any electronic devices.
She’s also four 🤦🏻♂️
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Me, on the phone with my 10 yo who’s at camp:
“How’s the food?”
Her: Eh. There’s no feta and no olives. And the olive oil doesn’t taste good.
Me, 🥺, holding back tears of pride knowing I raised her right with Greek food:
“That’s my girl!”
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Today is my dad’s 85th birthday.
Asking him what his wish is, he responded:
“At my age, I’m not wishing any more, but hoping. Hoping I was a good husband and father.” 🥹
Feel free to drop a happy birthday to Pappou 😊
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Me: Takes parents out to dinner, mom sees me enjoying the restaurant’s baklava.
Mom: Today, she brings me a piece of fresh, newly made baklava made by her, to remind me hers is best 😂
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Found my mother’s church wallet.
In it, it is filled with my professional cards, cards she used to hand out to anyone in need of a doctor or had health issues 😞
“Call my son, he will help.”
She was such a light, always helping.
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Colleague: Hey, Panagis, there’s a Greek food truck on campus. Do you know them?
Me: Look, just because I’m Greek doesn’t mean that I know every Greek in Balti—(looks out window)
Me: Oh, that’s my cousin.
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Caught my 7 yo trying to put roller skates on her 85 yo grandfather.
Me: What are you doing?
7 yo: Well, he can’t keep up with me so i wanted to give him roller skates to make him faster. But don’t worry, I’ll hold his hand to make sure he’s safe.
Me: 🤦♂️
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Since my mother’s passing, the hardest part so far is reliving it every morning with my father and his dementia 😞
Dad: where’s mom?
Me: she passed.
And then the emotions all come back 😢
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We have a peds cardiology fellow (re-deployed) in our #COVID19 ICU.
The fellow called proning “tummy time” on rounds today.
I may never call it proning again.
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I have an aunt that since my mom’s passing, has not said more than a few words to me, but has consistently dropped off food weekly.
She comes to my home, eyes full of tears she is holding back, arms full of food.
Today she brought baklava😊
Love & comfort through food ❤️
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Twitter world: here’s my mom, visiting me today, confirming that all baklava have been eaten 🤦🏻♂️
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My cousin overdosed last night.
He’s gone.
Didn’t make it to 50.
He was the kindest person I knew. Huge heart.
Just… damn. 😞
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When your Greek 🇬🇷 mom brings freshly made spanikopita and tzatziki because “you sounded hungry on the phone”
🤦🏻♂️
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One final sunrise before a final sunset today.
In the cruelest way possible, while my father lay ill, my mother, by his side every day, suffered a hemorrhagic stroke.
Know life is so fragile, and if my mom has taught me anything, it’s to be kind and assure people are fed 😔
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My colleague today, as he overheard me confirm my mother’s funeral for next week:
“Please make sure you give yourself time to fall apart. We are here to help put you back.”
🥹 🙏
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My mentee got into medical school!
Hugs, fighting back tears, and of course first thing I said was, “do you want a coffee?”
Invest in people!
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Every graduation season, I always remember the end of 6th grade. My dad picked me up from school that day (unique in of itself as he was always working at that time of day).
As we drove home my dad shared that we were now equals when it comes to formal education received. 1/4 🧵
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I’ll join:
Immigrant Parents 🇬🇷 to 🇺🇸.
I didn’t speak English until I was 5.
Grandmom: Janitor
Dad: union painter
Mom: seamstress
My 1st desk: built by my dad from thrown out wood from Johns Hopkins, where I now am an Assistant Professor 🤓
nitter.app/madelinebtorres/status…
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My 5 yo, grocery shopping in a leotard and rain boots, which she believes is the proper attire for such adult outings 😂
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I have a voicemail from a colleague, left 3 years ago.
He recently passed away and i just don’t have the heart to delete the message.
Anyone else hold onto such footprints of a person who has passed? Holding onto remnants of better times when they were with us.
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Mom calls me, hears my tone as I talk about a tough day in the clinic today.
Her response to help 🤯
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For your Sunday joy, here is my mom on National 🇬🇷 television discussing how she single handedly fed my ICU team during the pandemic 🤦🏻♂️
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What do we call that moment when we get in the car after an ICU shift and are relieved it’s finished but paralyzed because of what you witnessed in caring for people fighting to live.
Unable to start the car, wanting to scream, cry, yell at whatever gods are listening.
Be kind😞
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During MICU rounds, a pt died while on comfort measures.
When we went by the room, our resident asked if we could still “present her”.
Then, our team talked about what they learned from the pt during our care for her: job, jokes, fav TV show 😊
Humanity in the ICU.
@OnlyintheICU
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After 12 days since passing, my mother has finally arrived back in Baltimore from Greece.
To which my dad goes, “Let’s go get a hair cut. I need to look good for her one last time” 😞 🙏
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Lung doctor here!
Don’t do this.
Don’t EVER do this.
Respect the lungs. Get vaccinated.
The right is now telling people to inhale hydrogen peroxide via a nebulizer to prevent COVID-19.
This unvaccinated man says it cleans out the virus after his maskless trips to the movie theater and prevents the effects of “vaxxed-out people from shedding all over” him.
Community note
"Hydrogen peroxide can be toxic if ingested, inhaled. Inhalation of household strength hydrogen peroxide (3%) can cause respiratory irritation. Inhalation of vapors from concentrated (higher than 10%) solutions may result in severe pulmonary irritation." community.aafa.org/blog/danger-do
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Caregiving is hard.
And it has become a dominant role in my life caring for my dad.
Last night he became ill. It was a long night.
But this morning he asked for an ice cream & as a doctor, I can tell you that is a good sign😊
Invest in people. Especially if you’re all they have
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I think about that car ride every graduation season. He succeeded, as did my mom, to give us a better life with opportunities they only dreamt of as teenagers working in Athens.
But my education would mean nothing if it were not met with the wisdom my parents bestowed on me❤️4/4
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Let’s normalize adults eating cereal for dinner after a bad day, regardless of how many marshmallows are in said cereal.
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Three years ago I lost a patient to cancer.
During the final months, the patient’s family called me so often to help that they said I was officially part of the family
Today I received an invitation to the patient’s oldest child’s high school graduation party🥹
Invest in people
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Toddler hugs are great until you realize they are just using you as a human napkin 🤦🏻♂️
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Walks with my 81 yo dad are my favorite kind of history lesson.
From evading Nazis to immigration to buying his first car.
Treasure our elders.
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Hospital Transfer Line: “And what is your name as the accepting physician?”
Me (takes a deep breath): “Ok, here we go, it’s long, it’s…”
Hospital Transfer Line: “Great, thanks Dr Long. Have a great night”.
[Hangs up]
Me: 🤦🏻♂️ 😮
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When speaking to a group of 4-yo’s on how to prevent spreading germs, emphasizing things like face masking and hand washing, one adorable child also reminded me, “no biting and no licking.”
Well played 👏
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Can we do the 20 year challenge?
Just an immigrant Greektown kid from the City volunteering.
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Sent med student home early.
Got the night staff dinner.
Placed breakfast orders for the team tomorrow.
The Greek Dad in me is in full force for my ICU team 😊
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My 5 yo has gifted me the best pen to use on rounds in the ICU, if not for every occasion of life 🦄
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Two years ago, I extubated a patient & held their hand until they passed, with family watching by zoom. It was one of my first patients who died from COVID19.
Today, I called the family to check in on them.
What’s clear: there are scars from this pandemic that have not healed😞
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Losing a parent is hard.
To my 6 yo, when we broke the news to her, she immediately went to the reasons why it’ll be hard: the gap they’ll leave behind that they filled and only they could fill.
Who will use yiayia’s kitchen?
Who will sing me my favorite song? 😔
Gutted😞
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Discharged a patient yesterday & realized they left a family photo in the ICU.
Called the patient & said I can drop it off on my way home.
Seeing the patient in their home, with family, it gave me a jolt of happiness.
This is why we sign up for this caree😊
Invest in people.
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Me, on the phone with my mom, checking in on them during the snow storm.
Me: How’s dad?
Mom: All he’s doing is eating.
My dad, yelling in the background: that’s because all you’re doing is cooking! Someone has to eat it!
🤦🏻♂️
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Did a home visit. Upon that home visit realized a patient’s towel rack in their bathroom was being used as a grab handle and had come off the wall.
Helped reinstall it & reached out to our care team to have actual grab bars installed.
Health is more than disease management.
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A closing thought for 2021:
I don’t think more science is what ends the pandemic if selfishness, indifference, & greed persist.
Scientists can’t fix that.
We don’t need so much a science eureka but rather a cultural transformation.
We are all we got.
Virtue in 2022.
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What no one prepares you for after the loss of a parent is the guilt that you could have done something to prevent it.
Especially being a doctor.
How come I couldn’t protect one of the most cared for persons in my life, my mom?
Is this common? Does this go away?
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Telemedicine health visits should transcend arbitrary state lines, allowing great healthcare FOR all persons.
I will die on this hill.
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Got my dad to smile 😊
Heard his voice.
Now one flight between me and being by his bedside ❤️
Also: love to this amazing Twitter family.
Stay kind, good people.
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Mentee: "Can you write me a letter of recommendation?"
Me (to EVERY MENTEE): "IT WOULD BE AN HONOR to write you a letter, to advocate for you."
Encourage the next generation.
Invest in people.
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Today’s the day.
Dad’s surgery.
Of course he dresses up 😊 and keeps striking a conversation with all the staff 😂
Send positive vibes
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If I leave twitter, will you follow me on AOL instant messenger with everyone using their original high school IM names.
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Nurse: You’re mom is recovering well. The surgery went great.
Me: Ok! Any issues?
Nurse: Well, she’s inviting us all to Greece…
Me: 🤦🏻♂️ 😆
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About to go teach my FIRST class ever at @JohnsHopkins!
My mom was so proud she packed me two baklava 😂
Community engagement’s role in health care! Here we go!
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My mother’s first footsteps happened on the grounds of her small, rural village in western Greece (Palliambella - “old olives”).
Family arriving for the funeral brought some of that χώμα (soil) back so that it may be with her as she is laid to rest 😞
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Three years ago I took on a mentee from a rural Appalachian region in Kentucky.
Brought them to Hopkins, provided mentorship and research opportunities.
Today, he emails me that he got into FOUR MEDICAL SCHOOLS (two of which are MD-PhD programs).
Invest in people 🥹
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This son of immigrants, raised in the alleys of Ponca Street, was promoted to associate professor.
Parents gave me opportunities & mentors invested in me😊
Will spend my future years paying it forward & investing in community health👍🏻
But for now, celebrating in Disneyland
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My kid grabbed her dinner, tablet, and book bag, left the kitchen shouting “I have an important meeting”.
She’s five. I have so many questions 🤦🏻♂️
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Mentee: “Can you talk?”
Calls mentee.
Mentee: “I got into medical school!”
Me, puts phone on mute, screams in joy, holds back tears, unmutes: “Proud of you! The future of medicine is in good hands 😊”
These calls never get old.
Invest in people!
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Went to visit one of my patients today. She wanted one last hug and conversation before going to hospice. Even snuck in a final joke to have her laugh😊
It’s an honor being one’s doctor.
From the first handshake to the last hug 😞
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Sent my 10 yo to her first sleep away camp😢
Her: Dad, did you go to sleep away camp during the summer?
Me: No, I went away to Greece, by plane with an “aunt” I didn’t know, stayed in a small village with relatives all named Chris, and made friends with the local donkey
Her:😬
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Walked in on my 70+ old patient FaceTiming their 90+ old mom.
Patient: The doctor’s here. I have to go.
Me: Who’s that?
Patient: My mom.
Me: Ask if she wants to stay for the visit with us😊
Mom (on the phone): Yes! I worry about them.
Love this! Mom’s never stop caring🥹
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This trip to Greece has been hard.
The visit to my mother’s childhood home was emotional.
And my father. At 85, he wanted one more visit to his πατρίδα, say goodbye to siblings, and see the home he built with my mom.
He seems at peace with it all.
“I’ve done enough” 😞 🥹
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Me: How was your thanksgiving?
94 yo patient: Horrible.
Me: Why!? What happened?
94 yo: Well, last year i finally told everyone how i felt about them expecting to not see them again. Well, I’m still alive and they remembered.
Me: 😬
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In the cruel irony of life, in 24 hours to go from being the doctor to being the son of a patient.
Father is hospitalized 😞
In lieu of prayers, if you have your parents or whoever you look up to, just call them 😞 for no reason but to hear their voice
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Invites mom over for dinner with us tonight.
Mom: What should I bring?
Me: Just yourself 🤗
Mom shows up with salad, home made dressing, spanakopitas 🤦🏻♂️
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Lab: Calling to report a critical lab value. May I take your name?
Me: Sure. Apologies though, it’s long and Greek.
Lab: Thank you Dr Long N. Greek. [Hangs up]
Me: 🤦🏻♂️
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Family:
Thank you all for the love but will step away for a bit. I cannot even comprehend life right now but this picture says it all:
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Evening walks with my dad, now with conversations filled about my mom, his wife 😞
If this is part of the grief, well, we can both assure we won’t be alone in it.
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Day after my mom’s funeral, and my 6 yo wanted to stay home as she was sad about yiayia no longer being here 😢
To cheer her up, I took her shopping.
And here are my daughter’s support squishy stuffed animals 🤦🏻♂️
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Me (explaining how rounds work in the ICU): ...And it can take 3-4 hours until we finish.
5-yo: If you pretend the floor is lava, you’ll probably go faster.
Me: 😮.... 🤔
.@OnlyintheICU
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Leaving Greece, I found my mother’s scissors.
These were purchased before first coming to the US.
She was a seamstress, working in various factories with her union.
These scissors & her work put food on the table and paid for the education I and my siblings received 🥹
Miss her.
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With each passing day, I can’t help but think Mother Nature has a sense of humor and may drop the π variant on March 14 🤦🏻♂️
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Dropping off parents as they are off to Greece 🇬🇷 😊
Me: Do you have everything?
Mom: Yes, and I cooked enough pastitsio for you all for the week. It’s in our freezer.
Me: 🤦🏻♂️
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The amount of times I’m reaching for the phone to call my mom to update her on the day, on her grandkids, on life in general 😞
Presumably, this goes away? Or does it always stay this hard 😔
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Well, here it is. My mom’s many recipe books & notes, scattered over decades, from her first recipe to new ones.
All listing just ingredients with some guidance 🥹
Will go through each one, assuring she lives on, feeding and delighting the hearts of many for years to come 🤗
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Me, to the ICU team: “Don’t get lunch. Bringing food for you all today.”
The food for the team 😊:
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6 yo, eating cotton candy: I love cotton candy! Daddy, what do you love?
Me, without pause: a cancelled 4pm in-person Friday meeting.
6 yo, slowly offers me her cotton candy in kindness 🤦🏻♂️
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And to my first patient, who looked me in the eyes today and stated “Doctor G, I’m a new grandmother. Keep me healthy!”
It’s as if my mom scripted this encounter 😞
Finding ways to celebrate my mother and keep her legacy alive, short of feeding everyone (yet!)
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Shout out to my Greek aunt who said she wants to stop by for five minutes.
Comes in, says I look thin, and has now been here for the last 90 minutes preparing dinner 🤦♂️
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One of the elders of our Greek community brought me a homemade baklava today 🥹
“I’m 89. When I make baklava it’s for special occasions. You don’t have your mom today but I know she would want you to have baklava for your birthday.”
Love my community 💜
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It’s been a long day in the ICU.
It’s been a long week at works.
It’s been a long last few weeks 😞
But 😊
Greated by this little one 🤗 and now it’s a great night.
Enjoy your Friday everyone!
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