writer • filmmaker
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how do you find self-love?
you dig. you isolate and you ache from being lonely. you heal. you accept, you look in the mirror and see god.
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clear out your phone before the year ends. delete conversations you no longer need, photos and videos that require effort and energy. some memories loop you in a pattern. detach from hoarding moments that no longer serve your elevation.
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in your 20’s find a balance between hustle & rest. you don’t need to have a love life or a soulmate figured out. go travel the world. battle your demons. set up a business, find people who value your heart & yours will attract. don’t live in the past, you have so much more to see
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intimacy is about safety. the peace you feel in someone’s presence. the ease in their voice even when you disagree. someone’s attentiveness when you are struggling. their language when they speak about you. someone’s curiosity to learn you and the surrender when it comes to you.
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the intimacy of being understood, chosen, accepted, preferred, regarded, heard, care about, fought for, believed is incomparable.
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‘did you eat’ is a love language. underrated intimacy. you don’t understand care until someone really cares.
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emotional maturity is being able to stay connected when conversations get difficult. be attentive, offer presence. do not weaponize the love in your relationships to escape accountability. give assurance, create space for growth. compassion is a lifeline for lasting connections.
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i want a slow burn love— a seep into my bone love. can’t wait to show me out to your mama love. we were designed to fit love. we can definitely go the distance, can’t wait to fall in love to every version of you in different seasons kinda love.
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for creatives—
it takes years to develop your craft. do not romanticize the idea of an ‘overnight success’. be a student. grow organically. get really good. hate your work. start over. find new ways to express the same ideas. the student becomes the master. your time will come.
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a communicating partner softens insecurities. it takes a lot of courage to share the parts of you that are still in pieces. the version of you still searching for a home— and to find it in someone is a miracle. someone who is not afraid of your scars or the darkness.
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self-love is messy. breaking old habits is hard. telling the truth can be difficult. falling in love after pain is scary. losing yourself can be dark. finding peace isn’t cakewalk—honoring your emotions take work. may we learn to paint a more accurate description of love. choice.
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love is not possessive, love is an experience. an opportunity to grow your heart as an offering. repentance for all the times you got it wrong. you stifle connection when you operate from a place of possession. we love people better when they belong to themselves.
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forehead kisses after arguments. tracing each other’s shadows. gentleness, watering wounds, turning pain into power. loving intently. holding space. having soul throbbing conversations. creating safe boundaries. honoring vulnerability. meeting hearts with soft hands.
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i want to fall in love in a different language. imagine saying to someone ‘my soul sits wherever you smile’ instead of ‘i love you.’
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the rest of the year i wish you:
• good health
• a positive mindset
• success in abundance
• healthy relationships
• meaningful connection
• angels who guide you
• strength over depression
• peace in your body
• power before surrender
• discernment for good friends
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nobody ever talks about the pain of falling out with people you thought you’d eat with forever.
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2020 is the year for harvest.
— healthy body
— healthy career
— healthy bank account
— healthy relationship(s)
— healthy mindset
a shift is coming, eyes will open to more truth. trust spirit, gut feelings are angels. you deserve the highest version of everything you’ve lost.
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do not misinterpret the things that exit as a deficiency on your part. whatever you lost was deadweight. someone’s inability to stay or prove loyalty has nothing to do with your worth. power is a force too and not everybody can hang with the sun.
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do not take for granted a constant presence in your life. be it a partner or friendships that evolve with you as life goes. being able to process long days, doubt and also celebrate intention and milestones, never take it lightly.
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the way to a woman’s heart is through laughter. good conversation. emotional intelligence. light touches. active listening. vulnerability. sharing. food. soft kisses, powerful energy. gentle chokes. thoughtfulness. reassurance, action—working through unhealed trauma. commitment.
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dear god,
separate me from anything that isn’t mine. give me the strength to walk against the current. release me from attachments that feed my ego but starve my heart. give me peace when i am alone. when i doubt you, show mercy. forgive plans as a weakness in me.
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in 2023, prioritize relationships that hold range for you to be human. to be seen, considered. to be allowed space to rest & time to process. engage in interactions that bring your body ease. make real grounds for yourself, not markers of comfort at the expense of your existence.
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if you are a young woman, please take care of your heart. focus on your growth and not spoon fed love. you have time for whatever it is you think you don’t have time for. you are beautiful, elegant, full and more deserving than what you’re settling for. trust me. trust time.
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imagine if they offered a course in school that focused on interpersonal communication, conflict resolution, understanding boundaries & self regulation. we’d be far as a society by now
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you’re not happy because you are not happy. friends can’t make you happy. a relationship can’t make you happy. happiness is a state of being. it is enhanced when we’re met with things that we like, people who make us feel good. you are still the source. write a new story inside.
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how to deep cleanse your spirit:
laugh more. invite more. remove more. acknowledge more. respect more. love a lot more, show up more, forgive more, forget more. release more. move on more.
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fame. mental health. therapy. bullies, pain, love, compassion. male vulnerability. how to release.
— sean carter.
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you mature when you realize you’re still a fragile little kid. there are places in you still in desperate need of love, grace and forgiveness.
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genuine adult friendships are essential for growth. they set a standard for whatever comes next. they challenge society’s chronic fear of vulnerability. they require a healthy balance of friction & resolution. they show you growth is more affective in soil that is rooted in love.
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november, be good to me. bring my angels in human form. remind me of my faith, show me the harvest of this year’s pain. for everything that i’ve lost. give me the grace to carry on. teach me humility & self forgiveness. move my heart into ease. guide my mind into peace.
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may you experience a bond that lasts in all seasons. a love that outweighs fear. honesty that bares your soul and invites spiritual wealth. freedom that renews you and a certainty that strips every ounce of anxiety from the heaven on your tongue.
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things i learned in 2018
• some friends only hold space
• not all love is love, snakes bite
• you can miss what you don’t need
• faith returns, love brings it back
• people are for you until proof
• not everything is yours to keep
• fear is an abusive relationship
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i hope you find the peace you’ve been seeking. i hope you find the love you make space for. i hope you find the truth you’ve been searching. may you find the wealth you’ve been inviting. i hope you find the person who makes you laugh. i hope you find it, whatever it is.
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you only feel lonely because you want something.
stop wanting. you are whole. detach yourself from the feeling of need. you are enough.
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be patient. the person you love also needs time to grow. take nothing personal. sacred meeting are inevitable. what is meant to be will always find its place.
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my future daughter:
i pray no man is bold enough to talk himself into your sanctuary & have the audacity to convince you that you need him.
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protect your energy, expectations are a slow kill. every hand isn’t worth holding. every connection isn’t worth keeps. pace yourself in love, pace yourself in falling. we are all at war with history, every heart isn’t safe for landing. forgive yourself for getting this wrong.
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if you’ve been loved by me, you’ve known rivers and sunsets. late night conversations and constellations. you have felt heaven move to make earth fit. you know i would do anything to protect what is sacred, what is real. you know i love to the bone. scars and all.
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my relationship goals:
being with someone who is kind to me when i’m unkind to myself. someone to remind me the world isn’t against my mind because of a bad day. a person who loves me deeply because they love themselves. someone who values commitment as my heart is ready to give
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the most loving thing you can do for someone is allow them space to expand into whatever they envision for their lives without your presence serving as a roadblock.
all we can bank on as human beings is change. people morph, allow it. petals bloom when they are not plucked.
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you want to know what’s attractive?
having a good heart is attractive. being attentive when someone is baring their soul to you is attractive. watching someone fall in love with a part of themselves that caused an insecurity is attractive. being reliable & magnetic is chefs kiss
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it really matters how you see yourself. like really matters. work hard on seeing yourself more gently. more enough. more and enough.
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things to leave in 2018:
abusive patterns.
unresolved emotions.
your inability to connect.
men who disrespect women.
people who disrupt your peace.
one-way street relationships.
unhealthy celebrity worship.
false prophets/healers.
fear of inadequency.
a lack of love.
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2018 take the risk.
2018 take the risk.
2018 take the risk.
2018 take the risk.
2018 take the risk.
2018 take the risk.
no magic is created out of caution.
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every time you overextend, you betray your intuition. focus on love you don’t have to try for.
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note to self:
be soft with yourself, the world is heavy on its own. plant flowers in your heart instead of rocks. love will remind you where to stand.
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i want to travel with my woman. create art with my woman, build trust with my woman. cater & give honor to my woman. teach & learn from my woman— be masculine & soft for my woman. pray with & for my woman. provide & support my woman. be in tune with her nature as she is with god.
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commit to love before you commit to someone else. love is you. learn your soul. what language does it speak? what kind of love does it need?
choosing a partner is saying you deserve where i am. where i’ve been, what i’ve seen and where i’m trying to go. commitment is about you.
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you’ve done more than you thought you could accomplish. conquered stress, prevailed heartbreak, fought a silent war. managed anxiety and you got closer to god. you are far more beautiful with your scars than mirrors have allowed you to see. you are real and real is a commodity.
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how do you get rid of pain?
you don’t. you allow yourself to feel it. the body shifts energy for survival. once you understand it, you make it your friend so it teaches you a lesson rather than hurt you. then you grow. pain is a necessary inconvenience.
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january, be good to me. expand my capacity to love. show me the power of stillness. immerse me with time, take away the anxiety to perform. teach me honor. guide my heart into fruitful commitment. seal magic in creativity, bring it back to divinity. make me unapologetically free.
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october, be good to me. expand my capacity to love. open both my heart and my hands. teach me how to hold space without neglecting my own. shed my ego as i ascend. bend the universe to reveal my own. show me pain is process & not permanence. make it all worth it—make it all gold.
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i crave intimacy in many forms. i want honesty as a crown. soulful conversations & gutted truths. a connection so telepathic it requires another soul who can feel for the world. someone who can touch my skin into oceans & wild fire. a person who knows how to love me into freedom.
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a woman who prays for you is a woman who lays your heart under god’s feet. respect her commitment in this lifetime and the next. when you ascend, remember who prayed for the wings on your back. plant your heart into her. nurture that and it’ll carry you.
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november, be good to me. show me the opening of my own heart. teach me about humility—control. bring me to harvest, bring me to truth. transform my resistance into love. release me from the weight of fear, guilt & anxiety, exchange my doubt for abundance. love me back into joy.
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how do you know someone is for you?
they bring a peace you haven’t found anywhere else. they support your effort. they water your growth.
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in 2019:
may you lose the mentality of pushing people away because you’re afraid they’ll leave first. love isn’t about proving who can survive in the act longer— but for those who choose to show up thick and thin. that’s where you find the roses.
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the greatest asset you have is your heart, your integrity. how you treat people— how your energy affects a place. you can be a rose or a thorn, the choice is your daily.
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january, be good to me. give me faith where my mind falls short. forgive me for being so hard on myself. 2018, polish my gifts. feed me in love, align my relationships. skyrocket my finances. take off my career. build me in confidence and in truth.
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february, be good to me. make room for softer beginnings and protect my heart from indecent ends. expand my capacity to live, to give flowers above ground where bodies house air. release my dreams from fear to destiny. rewire my thoughts to a mamba mentality, all in or all out.
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choose someone who chooses you. someone who pushes fear out of your mind. someone who teaches you without being condescending, a person who understands a relationship is about growth— not ownership. be with someone who can be taught & corrected too. you can trust your peace there
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keep your peace.
stop chasing people who aren’t stopping for you. give your time, your energy, your love, your focus to things only deserving of your time. your presence is sacred so are your decisions.
whatever is right will fall in place.
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i pray you are someone who knows your heart is a special energy. i pray your eyes light up at the sound of your name. may you understand the weight of your presence, the power inside of it. inside of you. before i love you, i pray that you loved you first, hauntingly and deeply.
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i’m so attracted to women who see no limits. women who remain soft and fierce and light. women who are eruptions are revolutionary. a slow dance. a rap lyric. a necessary prayer. women who are not afraid to exist unapologetically have my heart tongue tied and my soul tied up.
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what i find fascinating about love is its evolution. you mature & it changes. what used to matter, matters less. what you didn’t pay attention to becomes the focal point. you are more present than you are neglectful because finally, you understand the power of energy.
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to the women who’ve been hurt by wolves in sheep’s clothing:
you are strong. i honor your courage to love again. to put your heart on display after a bloodbath. you teach us resilience. softness & the ability to move forward. find self-love and conquer demons. you are god’s love
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things to leave in 2017:
people.
mediocre friendships.
parts of yourself.
situationships.
toxic addictions/waste.
abusive relationships.
self-inflicted pain.
boring sex.
unhealthy thoughts.
your fear of not being enough.
him/her/them.
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2020 the year of everything good:
mature loving.
king/queen energy.
foresight & vision.
enriched wisdom.
mended hearts.
divine revelations.
abundance in love.
spiritual ascension.
powerful bank accounts.
generosity/giving back.
wedding celebrations.
overall happiness.
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december, be good to me. close the year with blessings, clarity and abundance. prove to me that it’s all been worth it. protect my family, shield my friends. give back everything the year as stolen. restore love, laughter, show me that divinity still serves those who hold faith.
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there is more to life than soulmates, marriage & having babies. though a natural desire, we need to teach our little girls that they are more than incubators. they are the center in which everything begins & moves. they are more than male desire & a pit stops. they are way more.
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