I am the goddess of pots & pans: half woman, half skillet
California
- Tweets 4,221
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- Followers 6,904
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need to fall in love, move to a quiet beach town, and live happily ever after in a quirky old dutch colonial
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Why was it the least deserving? Because of nUmBeRs? This isn’t Billboard—that’s not how these awards are decided upon, and if it were, Taylor Swift would’ve won album of the year. HMHAS is a great album, but so is Cowboy Carter, and it absolutely deserves the honor
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have you met a 15 year old? he very much looks like a regular old 22 year old. social media has really brainwashed people into thinking all adult men are tall and jacked, hasn't it?
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meeting someone I’m actually interested in for the first time in like 3 years, and it’s giving me immense anxiety 😃
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let’s not make your perverted activities out to be the gay experience, especially during times of rising bigotry. this has nothing to do with being gay.
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dreams of driving upstate in our volvo with windows down, doobie brothers on the radio, and my hand on your thigh
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I was at an odesza concert in 2015 in paris, and two girls got up onto the stage during the set and started dancing around. a security guard came out, picked each of them up one by one, and he physically threw them off the stage that was probably 5 feet high
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Beyoncé didn’t make an announcement at the event. Beyoncé didn’t make an announcement in the ad. She teased an announcement, which she made on social media. Comparing apples to oranges here
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She swindled her parents into spending probably tens of thousands of dollars to go on a trip to Thailand, so she could test out living a life of modesty lol. Plus she’s boring as can be
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overheard some girl talking about how the top bunk collapsed on top of her as she was sleeping 😭😭
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throwback to when I almost got sent to the dean of students in the first month of school for illegally downloading sabrina the teenage witch
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and YOU people have seemingly never watched the show before lmao. everything always leads up to the finale. if you hate the show so much, just stop watching
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just saw my favorite movie of all time (clue) in a packed theater, and wow it brought me so much joy 😁
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my 5th grade girlfriend broke up with my by updating her AIM profile to “Luke there are other fish in the sea”
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so ready to drink wine, make dinner, drink more wine, watch 10 things I hate about you, drink even more wine, take an edible, and #surrender to @maggierogers at midnight
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driving through the sierras with the windows down, fresh scent of pine in the air, vampire weekend on the radio. this is the life
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my favorite moment of 2021 was when I was presenting a project over zoom, and a text from group chat “Margarita $luts” popped up on my screen for all to see
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thank god I grew out of uncontrollably laughing when when unfortunate things happen to other people
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My mom read somewhere that cinnamon helps you to lose weight, so she decided to start putting it in her coffee today, but instead of adding cinnamon, she accidentally used paprika
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When in Chile, you channel your inner Belinda and drink Chilean Chardonnay @dadwroteaporno
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