he+him / somehow, the Europa War guy
LOLT DOMAIN
- Tweets 29,429
- Following 594
- Followers 10,956
- Likes 240,323
when you carbonation burp and it seems to come from somewhere deeper, older
102
4,632
84,267
1,856,273
got expelled from playing discord poker with the guys cause every new hand i'd go "Royal flush... looks like I win." no matter what the cards were and always bet everything
99
5,758
77,989
3,581,944
oh my god i hate microsoft so much. i hate when you look up "where did thing go, why did they remove it" and theres a thread where a support person is like "Hi! I am Amanda Microsoft Support Ambassador. Um IDK"
83
2,098
40,236
570,805
for a couple weeks now, ive actually felt like im going to hell for killing insects, like, I consciously just sent a thinking living being to pure oblivion because i thought it was annoying. i could not explain myself to god.
21
2,343
36,831
1,228,465
jeopardy is such an outlier in tv and just in general. its got the humble student of the world mentality, an absurd breadth of subjects, quick but thoughtful pace, one brief contestant chat, completely devoid of soulless clap-and-smile game show garbage, plus such a lovely blue
73
1,796
30,988
621,315
Made a sandwich that was a satirical but loving homage to a sandwich I ate 3 days ago
21
1,813
23,842
844,074
been adding "awesome" or "special" or "perfect" to any noun at all regardless of quality or demeanor. can you grab my awesome keys. im going for a perfect walk. i'll get the special mail on my way back in
24
1,800
22,538
573,030
(staring into basket for a long time) i mean its all my eggs. couldn’t hurt to do a quick headcount. just to get a ballpark on future chickens.
19
1,208
20,208
315,722
smoking on a balcony over Orc City, shaking my head and laughing, turning to you and saying something world-weary and wistful but it's completely drowned out by the 24/7 deafening orc mayhem down below
16
1,252
16,470
303,890
regarding THE WAR-TORN ICE MOON EUROPA...
here is some clarity and commentary on both the situation and the fiction. i am greatly humbled and alarmed by the reaction and contributions from so many fans, writers, artists, and fucking nasa.
WF.
172
1,331
10,484
347,073
a droideka feels like an actual threat to me, overwhelming firepower plus that shield, just a hard combo to beat, the prospect of going against one has a chill running down my spine
37
708
9,741
472,036
one hundred million battles like this are happening all the time in the world of bugs, you can take a magnifying glass to any given environment and find a trillion bloody duels
loving the fact that sega made arcade games about beetles beating the living hell out of each other
(mushiking)
13
756
9,188
294,289
me: it’s pretty easy, take a normal turn of phrase or something that somewhat sounds like one. Then swap in something weird or generally fantasy. then post
my homunculus: so like “You’re underdressed at a masquerade, playboy”?
me: bingo. cookie 🍪
homunculus: cookie moment
16
1,240
7,015
362,236
(trying to leave the apartment in a point and click game)
I can't go out now. My opps are waiting.
I can't leave while those busters are waiting outside for me.
My opps are right outside... better stay in for now.
11
1,352
8,128
227,332
MEANWHILE, ON THE WAR-TORN ICE MOON EUROPA,
IN THE "respect🤝" PRIVATE GROUP CHAT...
77
503
7,039
134,869
the humble arithmetician can't even run some numbers without the Man wanting to come knocking on his door
8
548
6,659
172,317
could a vampire text you "hey can i come over", does that count as being let inside, its sort of implied right
21
199
6,817
68,282
👤The Unlikely Ally followed you
✉️Direct Message from The Unlikely Ally
It would seem our interests align... for now.
📎temporary_truce.pdf
9
2,421
9,855
371,454
WARNING! in two days you will be seeing video essays about the mysterious Orc City: This City Doesn't Exist spontaneous setting that came from nowhere
10
238
5,752
78,455
you see distant fire and billowing smoke from your window
you get a text from me: Bro the citadel
6
886
4,859
139,595
(like a TSA guy)
ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE ‼️🙅♂️‼️
IF YOU GOT HOPE ABANDON IT‼️🙅♂️ABANDON IT ‼️‼️🙅♂️
5
551
4,730
122,688
I have already depicted my forces as wooden figurines converging on your position, and your base as a small flag which I have soundly toppled with a plotting rod, to the applause of my generals
2
423
4,044
103,621
pushes open saloon doors, everything stops and everyone stares
looks left
looks right
produces a perfect sonar ping with my mouth
things gradually return to normal
2
262
3,917
850,258
humor on Europa is mostly making fun of the idea of warmth or clinging to warmth, lots of political cartoons of venusian conscripts trying to heat up food or sleep under a blanket. “got a lighter?” sends the whole trench into hysterics
13
335
3,887
124,710
(waking up and its still dark) wha how.... (checking phone and seeing 12 missed Behemoth Alerts) oh its the behemoth's gargantuan shadow
3
444
3,822
62,069
Chilling with a stickman when suddenly his 200 opps run into the room in groups of 5-10 and he takes them down with peerless skill and fluid combos
10
421
3,656
49,710
cyberpunk guy waking up and groggily putting a cassette tape marked "COFFEE" into his head
7
260
3,651
48,032
i tried to say looks can be deceiving and your eyes can play tricks on you and i said Tricks can be deceiving
20
275
3,310
54,625
me: i was thinking we get some falafel
real orc i found: that some kind of meat
me: tell you what, i straight up do not know
4
499
3,086
80,353
indiana jones fighting a burly henchman, getting roughed up, indy acts like somethings behind the guy but he laughs and doesnt look, indy runs away, now the henchman is second guessing, he hazards a glance and there's quintillions of orc berserkers
4
248
3,007
43,283
They're not doing that to you tomorrow. They did that to you yesterday. You have to remember... Please
5
339
2,792
48,491
(coloring in a poorly drawn circle) yeah. little alien planet there. let's give this bad boy a ring (getting to where the ring goes behind the planet and stopping) ah that's right. i can't draw back there. should have done the ring first. unless (flipping the paper over, staring)
7
365
2,953
69,648
harkonnens murking aides who suggest anything to them is cool but you have to wonder how nervous dudes who timidly advise against acting rashly even get into such positions, given the society seems unanimously cruel and impulsive
40
27
2,334
102,528
as a kid id kill time imagining an absurdly complex network of water pipes and valves and bulkheads and sluice gates and tanks and grates, no goal besides transferring water from the left of my imagination to the right( or up to down sometimes). I was AWFUL at running this system
8
96
2,333
43,386
(while teacher is talking) it baffles the mind (no one hears)
(louder, deeper) It's enough to baffle the mind
3
571
4,260
160,403
By the way, real quick- I made it so that every nanosecond, your mind is locked in a chrono prison for a trillion years, and returns with all memory of the event erased. That’s, what, a trillion years times a billion times a second, uhh… it’s a lot of chrono prison time for sure
34
103
2,131
79,385
i had a dream that an orc crashed his plane in front of me and got out and yelled at me like it was my fault, while another orc stayed in the plane scrolling on his phone
4
163
2,100
41,841
(watching a wall of camera feeds go black one by one)
Okay. So I guess my entire unit of elite commandos just got wiped out. Because that's a thing now.
6
139
1,872
42,547
For like 5 seconds just now I just convinced myself that 3 +1 + 2 + 1 equals 6 and that it was amazing you could fit all those in there. No
12
83
1,938
21,645
Picard: Data. Crash the ship and destroy the ship
Data: Aye captain. (entire frame rotates to face down, falling whistle begins)
18
729
3,778
266,938
MEANWHILE, ON THE WAR-TORN ICE MOON EUROPA,
IN THE PRE-WAR GLOBAL CHAT THAT NEVER SHUT DOWN...
20
229
1,857
104,700
discovering a crazy evil bacteria but not telling anyone because then they’d name it after me
10
105
1,802
17,505
once as a kid my friend called and asked if I wanted to come over and “make raging rapids”, we dug his backyard into a series of rivers and canals and put the hose at the start and watched the rage
9
73
1,676
26,872
you’re fucking right dude. i call people for work sometimes 200 a day and with complete confidence 5% of all americans have a beeping smoke detector. every time ive brought it up they have no idea what im talking about
10
17
1,537
84,541
