Sent here to play in your face. Better than Ai. Left X 12/1/24 for Spill. Official archive of Lisa’s tweets.
Chicago
- Tweets 17,042
- Following 1,548
- Followers 23,397
- Likes 18,315
#MargaretThatcher in private audience with the #Queen
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Mahershala Ali’s personal assistant has her tiktok where she talks about what it’s like to be a working actor and PA. Every once in a while he’ll be on her tiktok during breaks to answer questions and I just think this is the sweetest thing. He coulda been like no but he so nice!
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They are all folding. Individually, each business model cannot sustain itself. When you see mergers like this happen, it’s because they are hemorrhaging money. They merge not to become a superpower but to save each other.
Netflix, Apple TV+ and Peacock will team up to form their own streaming bundle through Comcast.
Will be offered at a “vastly reduced price”
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You know what Katt Williams clip should should go viral? The one where he was talking about being a father and doing laundry and washing dishes and reading bedtime stories and checking homework and nurturing and and and and....
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Corporate Erin On The Red Carpet at the 55th NAACP Image Awards Dinner ✨3.14.24
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Your brain is doing that thing. They invited Lisa Beasley to walk the red carpet. But this is my joke that EYE AM taking too far.
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Everybody: I’m running for President. I have a black friend.
Elizabeth Warren: I’m canceling student loan debt, making childbirth safer for black women, I’m giving billions of dollars to HBCU’s, protecting sacred lands...oh and here’s HOW I’m going to do it.
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#CorporateErin here. I am not here to interrupt even though I am in a company full of disrupters.
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Dear people looking to cast black women in comedy shows.
We are not Tiffany Haddish.
I LOVE Tiffany Haddish with all my heart and soul but don’t ask me to give you what she gives you. We all have something different.
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Billionaires being forced to show their real hair because they wanted to come out with hair products is funny to me hahahaha
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So is living in your 30s realizing all the trauma you grew up with and the choices you made in your twenties fucked you up so now you’re just home in quarantine working on yourself everyday to reverse that shit.
Do I have that right?
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Moral is lifting and I hope Lis isn’t upset that I told @USATODAY she wasn’t available for an interview.
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Today 1/12 Black History Month Spotlight is 112.
Happy 112 Day everybody! 💐🍑 &🍦
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You replied to this rumor fast as hell tho. A child got killed by cpd and you didn’t address it for days.
Where yo priorities at?
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Hi, I’m Erin Throlopolis. You may know me as Corporate Erin. @lisabevolving has gon rogue and has been posting to Twitter during her social media sabbatical. I’m here neow to take over this platform as well. Thenk yew
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White people get to be EVERYTHING on tv and funny black women gotta duplicate one person.
I ain’t going.
Love her. She’s inspired me to do what? BE MYSELF
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Yes, #CorporateErin presented the award for Outstanding Animated Motion Picture at the 55th NAACP Image Awards Dinner.
Mua: India Hall | Hair: Darius Boone
Photography: @chancsmith_
Lisa Beasley was not in attendance.
#LANYARDSUP
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The secret behind a lot of successful men is that they don’t have primary custody of their kids
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#CorporateErin here and I just wanted to give you a peak into my weekly 1:1 where I had to explain our bereavement policy.
Once again, Twitter famuhily, thenk yew for allowing me to take up space her on Lis’s profile.
Best,
Erin Throlopolis
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He didn't just blast comedians. Every bum man performing bare minimums is on notice...
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I really wish we could eliminate “What do you do?” as the key indicator of how to treat someone especially after only knowing them for literally 12 seconds.
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But how would #CorporateErin say “my face card never declines?” Comment please! Lol tehehehe
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It’s ok if you wanna like just sleep while social distancing. You actually don’t have to finish that script. You can, like rest your creative brain and consume art or just sleep.
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I’m cracking up cause I just spoke to Zoom the company on Zoom the platform for an HOUR as Corporate Erin 🤣🤣🤣
It was all so dumb and silly. I LOVE taking up an hour of people’s workday for the sillies
Email: corporateerin@lisabeasley.com to bring me in for shenanigans.
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Check out our Partnership Portal (link in bio) Subscribe to @KevOnStage’s patreon! Choose how much you want to come out of your check starting at $5 to get exclusive content from Kevin & Friends.
Kev comes highly recommended from Lis.
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I love the evolution of Eve. She done went from being a Ruff Ryder to the Princess of Genovia
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Ok y’all I have something to say. When I gave birth in a teaching hospital, about 30 different people gave me a cervix exam. Years later, I realized that it has sexually traumatized me.
I want you to know that you can deny allowing students to learn on you.
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I’m going to say this - for those that appreciate the bro/sis vibes we’re witnessing, you’re my people. Those that gotta make this a inappropriate relationship cause you can’t be around a fine person, you are NOT my people.
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Forbes or Farbes. It’s up to @Forbes
Either way, I will be on either one of those covers April 1st and that choice is up to them. #ElizabethBeasley
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The more I am myself. The more my people find me.
Some of yall don’t have the tribe you wish for because you are not being true to yourself.
It’s hard to be true to yourself in a system that works triple time to keep you from knowing yourself.
Get to know the real you.
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Urgent! BLACK HISTORY MONTH will now be recognized during December 15, 2023 - January 15, 2024.
Took a peak at our Q1 goals and February is packed with new client initiatives and deliverables so we’re just gonna bump this up.
Submit #BHM programming by EOD TODAY! 🎉🥳
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Today is my birthday. Me 🎵 happy birthday Lisa. 🎵
Corporate Erin’s birthday is in September.
Kevn Jaxn’s birthday is in March.
Elizabeth Beasley changed her birthday.
Thatch is dead and no longer celebrates birthdays.
38 years of not taking any of you hoes seriously.
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I can’t focus today. This is real life. They told them to go where they would be safe to push them all into the same corner to finish out killing them.
I hate being in this powerless generation overtaken by leaders who don’t want what we want or who don’t care about life
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If you need help, there’s hundreds of funny black women here. Scroll and be amazed at how many different ways Black women can be funny.
Instagram.com/funnyblackwome…
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Aaaaaahhhh I’m in a trailer for a show and I didn’t have to sell any body parts or my soul. So I CAN DO this my way.
He can get the likes, but can he change the lives? Corey Carr Jr. is stepping in to spread God’s message his way! #Churchy starring #KevOnStage premieres Feb. 15, only on BET+.
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Y’all keep tagging SNL - remember when that lady in Get Out was like “no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no *single tear* no no no no”
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Hey Twitter get on in here. A lot of people are mentioning the way I hold my mug. I have had surgeries on both wrists last year but I wanted to put our #BlackHistoryMonth spotlight focus focal point on @blkcreatives where I got my favorite coffee mug from. I have to hop 🐰
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Ok I see that I’ve set it up where y’all don’t know nothing about me lol. It’s working so well.
So, for ten years, I performed 6-10 live shows a week in front of paid audiences. Most shows were 2-act shows. We’re talking 3 hours of being tapped in.
A short flex thread:
What's impressive with your continued success is that has to be exhausting to be 'on' for long lengths of time. But you do it well. Wishing you all the success.
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Y'all these two men in comedy have supported my career so hard. Not only did seeing this post crack me tf up but it truly warmed my heart because seeing em side by side makes me realize I am so blessed to have comedy bros that are not weird. These men got my back. I'm so lucky!!
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And let’s be honest: a couple of years ago, you looked down on “that type.”
Now that’s all you want.
Ya missed me with THAT.
You can not mass produce Tiffany Haddish’s authencity. She’s a star and you missed out.
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Y’all this is our Mayor of Chicago and she thought she ate this spread. Look at what’s actually on the table y’all. This is the same lack of cohesion coming outta her office.
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So anybody that’s like, “they def fucking” what you mean to say is, “I can’t act normal around beautiful people and nobody fine ever talks to me and if they do talk to me all I wanna do is fuck em”
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You ever look at old pictures of yourself and think “Damn, I didn’t think so at the time but I was fine!”
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"And I think that for a period of time, I thought I was unique. I thought that I was different. I thought that I was special. And it turns out that there’s a lot of me just kind of all running around." - Erin Throlopolis, in @Essence interview.
Read: essence.com/news/money-caree…
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Your name is being written in scripts that you don’t even know are being pitched right now.
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CPD killed a 13 year old boy this week. His name was Adam Toledo.
The mayor has only addressed it via Twitter thread blaming the society around him that lead up to the police killing him.
CPD killed a 13 year old days ago and the mayor tweeted. Yesterday.
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I was bothered by Tina Fey saying authenticity is costly.
I wanna tell y’all that being a fake, people pleasing, appeasing person to keep a check or status from people, mostly white men, who have no problem leaving your penniless, is costlier.
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I feel like when I was living in Memphis, it was easy to hit up a man & be like “take me to go get somn to eat.” Or like “can you drive me here or there?”
I try that in Chicago these niggas be telling me NO. Idk if it’s cause they always sleepy or cause I ain’t got no hair.
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Remember when three demons left her throat when we she screamed “YES YOU ARE!!!”
How dare they.
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Y’all: Issa. Quinta. Issa. Quinta. Issa. Quinta.
Me: My name is Lisa Shari Beasley.
Call me Lisa Bae if it’ll make you more comfortable.
Call me Squinta because I wear glasses and contacts.
Call me anything but somebody’s employee y’all.
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The moment @reese_shapiro as Kamala broke me. Whew she so funny y’all whew I’m still laughing at this
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Now that #SecondCityIsOver, for all those Black employees who have been mistreated and coerced into an NDA across this country, let's talk about what they did to me AFTER I quit.
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The highest compliment for me, as a satirical comedian, is some of y’all saying y’all can’t make it to the end of a Corporate Erin video. I am doing my job WELL.
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But good looking out though. You wanna make sure Lisa Beasley is seen and that makes me feel special 🥹
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I bought my mama a stove and a refrigerator today. It’s not a house, but for me, it’s a BIG deal 🥹
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Whenever I cook my daughter breakfast before school instead of making her run on Dunkin
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Now open up these roles to all my talented black ass friends and let us do our thing.
You might stumble upon somebody truly special.
We get in our head and stumble when you tell us to be somebody else.
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LinkedIn Park’s debut single “DUMB” has been number 1 on the charts for the past 112 weeks. They’ve won 54 Grammys. DUMB is about being caught making typos in a shared doc.
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Twitter thanks for hopping on. Real quick just wanted to make you aware of a few things. This won’t take up all of your time.
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#ChicagoMayor holding CPS laptops under heavily secured surveillance
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“I do not believe there is one way to think about things” is how typical gaslighters get themselves off the hook from developing their perspective.
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Would you be mad if I invited you to a Smoke-N-Paint but the canvas was my walls and the only color you could use was beige?
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Re: Wednesday is a full working day. Also connect with me on LinkedIn. I love LinkedIn LinkedIn.com/in/corporateeri…
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Elizabeth Beasley has been released from prison and brought on board to work on this comedic technological forefront laughter company module. Stay tuned.
Can we just get a show about Corporate Erin? This is television gold. @lisabevolving
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