software engineer | one day i'll figure out everything

snow mexico
Pinned Tweet
follow me only if you are a real mfer
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my new favorite YouTube channel. bro is 16 years old btw
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intern on my team is extremely cracked, legit no one like I have ever met before. but while talking he cannot not make eye contact with anyone and avoids sittings with us at lunch and does not socialize much. there is something off and sad about this
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Replying to @haydendevs
don't crash the plane into the two tall buildings
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Replying to @zekramu
this is exactly how i gaslight myself when i'm feeling lazy
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"did he just write a c++ program that allocates and deallocates memory perfectly?"
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Replying to @Andr3jH
Buying a domain, doing nothing with it, and selling it after 6 months
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sad life of a lowbie
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i did try to break the ice and counsel him but to no avail
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wtf
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sunday routine: - cold shower - goon session with gf - gym - goon session with gf - make some speculative investments (gambling) - goon session with gf - shopping - goon session with gf - autistic tech parties - goon session with gf - dinner - goon session with gf - sleep
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Replying to @CounterStrike
why won't you let classis offensive release thier game
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"an fucking idiot"
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this is yoga's endgame, picking your nose from the backdoor
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Replying to @djcows
just checked row 8, looks like a subtle bias towards cows
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why do white people love having a second fridge in the garage?
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if you make one banger tweet you instantly realize that dead internet theory is 100% real
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Replying to @Zvbear
how do you even think like that in 7th grade
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oh. my. god. is he trying to impregnate me?
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Replying to @djcows
you forgot to add "make no mistakes"
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he will. it's his first time interacting with people outside his bubble (friends, family). he will get better eventually as his exposure increases.
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Replying to @THATBOYMMAGURU
2 48-47?!! Lol that's some Dana White privilege
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Replying to @laserboat999
It's a sin to use this monitor with the 5090
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Replying to @Crazymoments01
ah so this is where my amazon package ended up
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insane! it took me 2 months to get to 200 followers. do they teach stuff like this in B-Schools?
10 hours ago I posted my 1st tweet and now we are at 200 followers. Thank you 🫶🫶
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Replying to @CounterStrike
LET THEM RELEASE CLASSIC OFFENSIVE
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"did he just booted arch linux on his personal laptop?"
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Replying to @thejorgg
yeah, we'll just let him be
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oh you're a software developer? name every software
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Jack Dorsey's father on twitter
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Replying to @GRITCULT
jack ma 4'11' is crazy
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My pager started ringing at 3:30 a.m., notifying me that i got an on-call sev-2 ticket. Now, it's 5:20 a.m. Still hustling with the same issue. If you've ever doubted that heroes wear pajamas and fight bugs instead of villains, think again! #SoftwareEngineer
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Replying to @harry_bhalz
what u talking about he's going places boi 📈
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Replying to @sama
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My girlfriend JUST asked me if I've heard of Perplexity, and she works at Perplexity. We're so early man it's not even funny.
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Is math invented, or discovered?
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grown ass men doing technical analysis on prediction markets 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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my engagement is fucked. at this point, everything i post on here is literally me talking to myself
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how can men be gay
hunter schafer for the met gala afterparty
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I have: - never seen a got baddie irl - never met anybody who claims to have seen a goth baddie irl goth baddies aren't real
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i'm only 26 years old. i'm still young. i still have time. affirm
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i could tell you a TCP/IP joke, but I'd have to repeat myself until you got it
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can't tell what gender my barista is this coffee is about to slap
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you can just put PhD. next to your name. no one checks
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Replying to @THATBOYMMAGURU
This is our main event... girls walking into punches and punching with both hands at the same time 💀
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Replying to @skinsmonkey
Babe wake up, another fake Chinese cs2 clip just dropped
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my friend's lab notes, dinner and apartment
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Replying to @wordgrammer
is this bait?
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you ain't bringing shit to the table
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when i see a project made with go
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me when i make a pull request with the worst code my team has ever seen
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reply and i'll place you here (if you dont reply, bad luck will ruin your life)
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career update: will be joining github as a software engineer 2 ✌️
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mfs just be saying "real" to anything now
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non coffee drinkers scare me you can just wake up without taking drugs? absolute psycho stuff
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i'm $150k in debt due to my gambling addiction. i am fat as fuck. i dont have family. i have a crippling drug problem. i work minimum wage as a construction labourer. i don't know how i will pay my rent next month. but somehow i think i'm gonna make it
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hot take: twitter sounds better than x dot com
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damn this tweet blew up. follow the channel guys and also follow me and checkout my website i created as a tribute to Counter Strike: cs.smitt.dev
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Replying to @DovySimuMMA
do the kisses count towards significant strikes?
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i am 26 years old is it over for me yes or no
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your 20s are for discovering what the fuck is wrong with you
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Replying to @sama
nigga why is chatgpt down?
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i like when women are a little bit fat like this
Am i the only one who doesn't like girls with Abs and muscle ?
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tomorrow i will lock in and fix my entire fucking life
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average rust devs meet-up
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Replying to @nikicaga
Brampton and London
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$180 for a tire rotation? trust me they rotate. buddy how do you think i got here
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Replying to @THATBOYMMAGURU
That wasn't a fight, it was a 25 minute assault lmao
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how did they compile the first compiler?
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holy shit i think i'm lowkey a liberal now
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doctor: are u sexually active me: yea doctor: this is serious ur life depends on it
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gm chat
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Replying to @Enezator
@grok is this real?
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Replying to @ktaddeyy
wtf
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time for my daily book reading activity
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kid: are u gay? me: no kid: gay means happy hehe me: oh in that case no
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literally 1984 😔
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You are enjoying the new Spiderman game on your Playstation. Your friends come over to watch a cricket match for the night. Your roommate makes some loaded nachos for everyone. There's no school tomorrow. It's 2023 and you are 24 years old. Life's good.
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Replying to @ayushunleashed
As a software engineer you should sell grade A drugs to achieve your goal
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Replying to @dicatrosh
Arre chutiye tera baap ko sikhayega? it's just an LLM nothing scary about it gandu
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Replying to @G_L_2006
his age makes it more impressive
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Replying to @vyrixo
"she's so cute" to "he's a dude?" pipeline
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wtf is this shit dawg
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Replying to @RichardHanania
holy shit I don't think I've met someone as retarded as you and I grew up in a mexican short bus
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gm. according to my calculations, all of my followers will be able to afford a private jet by 2030
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im not a developer, im an engineer
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my moots are the best 👌
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do you ever wake up and feel extremely retarded?
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if you're having a bad day just be grateful you're not Canadian
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85% TIP AT THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY?!!!
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my tweets are trash and idgaf anymore
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web developers are not software engineers
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Is it gay if your gf opened a jar of pickles that you were not able to open?
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once you get youtube premium, there's no going back
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never kill yourself
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the lion is extremely retarded
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schizo posting until i get to 0 followers
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