a different ocean. a different world.
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- Followers 7,414
- Likes 104,541
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i raise my hand to my brow not to shade my eyes from the sun but to salute it
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starting every communication with "imo" and ending it with "lol" like i'm a radio operator and those are procedure words
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blocking your wife on twitter so she can't see you announcing your divorce is pretty funny you have to admit
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"my son like many people at home had a drug problem" is the funniest fucking relate-to-the-audience bit i've ever heard
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"no my avatar isn't anime, it's from an internet cartoon i draw with pokemon staging a communist revolution, i'm nothing like those DUDES"
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wow it's super unlucky that every time the usa de-escalates in syria assad just happens to gas civilians
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all gdp growth since 1971 is due to a secret government project involving two economists in a room passing a twenty back and forth forever
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gf is higher socioeconomic status, hot, AND wants to do erotic holocaust roleplaying? that's called "hitting the jackpot"
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wishful thinking from people who need permission to have fun
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the only time the media ever called trump "presidential" was when he authorised missile strikes on syria
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everywhere in england is named like "cum-upon-her-tits" or "milfshire" and they look at you funny if you mention it
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BREAKING: Police have released footage from Stephen Hawking's wheelchair camera the night he passed away
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reading this article you'd never realise "school" is like 100 years old at best
300 million kids are missing school ☹️: “Students are now out of school in South Korea, Iran, Japan, France, Pakistan and elsewhere — some for only a few days, others for weeks on end.” #COVID19 nytimes.com/2020/03/04/world…
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i cannot think of a more thorough evisceration of a band than that post calling ghost "scooby-doo chase music"
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if you sent everyone back to january with everything they know now, we would again come to this exact situation
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these two images comprise the wealth of human knowledge -- every lesson you will ever learn springs forth here. this is my ideology.
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crazy that it took it took a shitty unenforceable lockdown for people to realise you can just go outside and do whatever you want
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maybe it's not such a good idea to build your life around strangers caring for your child 8 hours a day 5 days a week for 12 years
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men don't go to therapy bc for the cost of a few sessions you could rawdog a not-ugly stripper
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i miss when computer or technology companies had names like "Computer Technologies" instead of shit like "Zappa" or "ploof"
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"asuka & shinji had sex in episode 15", the greatest thread in the history of evageeks, locked by an admin after 7 pages of heated theory
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the president's twitter account being subject to twitter's editorial whims is a national security issue
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it will never stop being crazy that dominic cummings posted this mere months before it actually happened dominiccummings.com/2019/03/…
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society fucked up big time by banning smoking in restaurants instead of banning television and radio
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imagine being born in the 1920s, living a long fruitful life, and calmly expiring on september 10 2001
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ppl suck fauci's dick like he's epidemiology jesus but that cunt was telling ppl it was cool to go on cruises back in march
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critics are a holdover from the days when you'd have the most worthless guy in the realm review all the king's meals for poison
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pulling seven figures banging different chick each night and dying childless is about as "fit" as playing video games and fucking a machine
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dad bods are absolutely not fine. in fact dad bods are a meme by women to sabotage men's smv and improve their own bargaining position nitter.app/squidslippers/status/1…
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i assume every woman i interact with has a group chat that is at all times trying to roast me
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if twitter removes the fav then i will have no choice but to reply to every post i'd like to fav with "favd"
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just woke, no memory... but no fear! this is not the dawn of a new day, but a new age -- a NUDE age! the spirit of the Bronze Age returns!
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"i work in hollywood... i'm the guy who edits the world trade center back into films taking place before 2001"
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wanting a girl as smart as you is preference falsification propagated by smart girls to enhance their value
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i can't deal with this right now, i'm thinking about the illegitimate execution of saddam hussein
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the fact that there's sin tax on alcohol and tobacco but not npr and abortions is class warfare
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i've created a robot which produces over 5 million claims per minute, most of which are false. good luck fact checkers
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when trump cut immigration by 90% he said the remaining 10% had to be hot bitches -- look it up, the media won't cover this
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hi, expert expert here! please don't comment on experts unless you're an expert on expertise, it drags down the quality of public discourse!
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please bring back horoscopes, mbti, whatever -- i'll do anything, just make these posts stop
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