All tweets come with extra salt. PFP by @Spaghettilizard
The Salty Spitoon
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- Followers 1,130
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I just realized the fact she's dressed all in black implies she's a widow. Never underestimate the innate German talent at capturing human misery.
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The typical church service starts at around 10am. The earliest is usually no earlier than 9am, and many Catholic parishes will have a Mass as late as noon.
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My hot take on American folk religion:
- American Catholicism is Shinto (worship of ancestors and objects)
- American Evangelicalism is Confucianism (loyalty to country and family, suspicious of outsiders)
- Mormonism is Islamism (post-Christian, own prophets and holy book)
There's a type of Christianity I've often encountered in middle America that's sort of a confucianism for white people.
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Counterpoint: There is a male loneliness epidemic. There's also a female loneliness epidemic. And social media grifters pitting men and women against each other is making it worse.
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In some churches, yes, but it's never the main Mass. 8am is usually for early risers and old folks. Families with children usually go to later services.
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I've seen pictures of the church at the bottom before, and the thing that always strikes me about it is how wonky the proportions are. I've seen a similar thing with other newer churches built to be "pretty." Proportionality is a lost art.
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The Episcopal Church hosting drag shows in its seminaries and the Russian Orthodox Church proclaiming that dying in Ukraine brings salvation may occupy opposite ends of our politics, but they're symptoms of the same disease: the submission of the church to worldly culture.
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MINE EYES HATH SEEN THE GLORY OF THE COMING OF THE LORD
HE IS TRAMPLING OUT THE VINTAGE WHERE THE GRAPES OF WRATH ARE STORED
HE HATH LOOSED THE FATEFUL LIGHTNING OF HIS TERRIBLE SWIFT SWORD
HIS TRUTH IS MARCHING ON!
The Battle Hymn of the Republic is a song written by a psychopath advocating religious violence and holy war that comes with a side of genocide.
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I have a real issue with the whole "go to church and find a wife" line. The church is a place of worship to the living God who died for us, not a dating service. It also sets young men up for disappointment and bitterness when they find out there are no young women available.
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HEY CHRISTIANS I bet you didn't know Coffee Hour is actually a pagan holiday based on the Viking celebration "köfe hår" in which worshippers would exchange small talk over boiled bean juice after offering prayers and sacrifices to Odin
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This was always a stupid bad faith barb slung at pro-lifers, but it *really* doesn't hold water while Canada and several northern European countries are euthanizing their elderly and mentally ill on a mass scale.
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It's a self-selecting group. Each young family who drives 40 minutes to attend TLM is leaving an empty pew at the local Catholic parish five minutes away. The "rising trad generation" is an illusion.
I do not typically attend the Traditional Latin Mass (It takes everything I have get the eight of us to the local parish five minutes away on time). But this is where you will find young Catholic families. The younger generation is rebelling against modernity.
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Crazy idea: imagine if someone put together all the best prayers inherited from the church's tradition for all occasions, most taken straight from Scripture, and compiled them in a book available to and easy to use by the common people. A book of common prayer, if you will.
We recite the Apostle’s Creed each week as a church. We’ve done it for years. It has served to catechize our folks in these core doctrines of the faith.
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"Mr. Palpatine, why did you destroy Alderaan? Was it because of the unwarranted aggression of the Rebel Alliance? Or the woke agenda of the Organa Family?"
"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"
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You just know after spending an hour building the giant fire the guy stood back and put his hands on his hips while making this exact expression.
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Christians REALLY need to stop being such cheap dates whenever a celebrity makes a high-profile conversion. We should welcome converts but also make sure we're discipling them instead of immediately shoving them on a pedestal so they can start grifting off the church's name.
Russell Brand, remade as a right-wing Christian influencer, is now selling a "magical amulet" that protects you from WiFi signals and other "evil energies." Only $239.99 per amulet.
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This is probably going to piss a lot of people off, but while all the artwork in baroque churches is very impressive, all together it's often just too...much. I think there's something to be said for balancing beauty with restraint. Old Protestant churches are quite good at this:
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This is the couple equivalent of those critically endangered salamanders that have lived in caves for so long they don't have eyes.
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I for one am shocked that the twice-divorced casino owner and reality TV personality who cheated on his pregnant third wife with a p*rn star and boasts about grabbing women's privates doesn't have the best interests of religious conservatives in mind.
JUST IN: Some of the nation's top religious liberty leaders are enraged over what happened in the secret RNC platform meeting today. One says they are so disgusted they may leave the party.
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I've given plenty of other groups of Christians grief, from liberal Episcopalians to TLM trads, and I'll be the first to admit I've often been uncharitable. But I don't see how outright cursing other Christians like this isn't a grave sin. We need to pray for this young man.
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This is Covenant Presbyterian Church. This past Sunday they gathered at nearby Christ Presbyterian with family, friends, first responders and the Covenant School community and praised God together.
"The world has changed, but our King still reigns."
- Rev. Britton Wood
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Every now and then a Catholic or Lutheran will make a tongue-in-cheek post ribbing other Christians, an Anglican mutual will post a reply ribbing them back, and the OP will suddenly lose all sense of humor and start aggressively rage-posting about Henry VIII.
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The image of the Archbishop of York walking in circles through a labyrinth while wearing a cheap cassock-alb with crayon-purple stole and carrying an iPhone captures the current state of the CofE sharper than any polemic ever could.
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Before you all get mad, I'm not saying this is true everywhere, especially among the theologically literate. But I think it broadly reflects what Americans default to on the ground absent proper discipleship.
Except Mormonism, which is straight up Islam for white people. Sorry.
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It's honestly baffling to me that altar rails are at all an issue in Roman Catholicism. I spent my whole childhood in uber-liberal Episcopal churches and the use of altar rails is standard. Just a bizarre Boomer Catholic hangout.
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I need you all to understand that this is sickness. Spending God knows how many hours cataloging and ranking the "prettiness" of buildings instead of praying, reading Scripture, and serving your parish and neighbor is spiritually diseased behavior. This young man is not well.
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That RZ places such emphasis on the Episcopal Church while ignoring the Scottish Episcopalians, CofI, and Church of Wales shows how his perspective is based on a narrow American mainline Protestant worldview, which values property and wealth over faithfulness.
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You can't deny it's kinda hilarious that an entire Lutheran church had to halt publication of its catechism because of a guy an Twitter with <5,000 followers and the word "Turnip" in his name.
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His wife - who is also the mother of his three children - having cancer might have something to do with that.
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My grandparents lived through the 1929 crash, the Great Depression, WWII, the Korean War, the Cuban Missile Crisis, JFK & RFK's assassinations, decolonialism, the Civil Rights movement, the Vietnam War, the '68 riots, the fall of the Iron Curtain, and 9/11.
Get over yourselves.
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I love how the Lutherans and Presbyterians sneering at Anglicanism over the Archbishop of Canterbury being a woman base their entire position on pretending the PCUSA and ELCA don't exist.
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ACNA on Twitter: Legions of trad Anglicans fighting over whether 1662 or 1928 BCP is most based
ANCA in real life: Twenty people over 50 meeting in a middle school auditorium who think BCP is some kind of dietary supplement
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What never ceases to amuse me about this picture is the bishop on the left is an evangelical and the bishop on the right is an Anglo-Catholic.
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Guy who's so Anglican he affirms transubstantiation, prayers to the saints, the Immaculate Conception, the redeeming power of indulgences, and the supreme authority of the Pope who is the head of the one true church who bears infallible judgement hey wait a minute
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What I find funny about this sort of nonsense is that the deconstructing exvangelicals pushing it think they're being bold and edgy when all they're offering is microwaved 1970s mainline Protestantism. This has all been done before, and it wasn't convincing the first time.
The Bible doesn’t say Jesus was nailed to a cross.
One evangelical Bible scholar thinks the crucifixion may have been done with ropes.
christianitytoday.com/2025/0…
Community note
The Bible explicitly refers to the nails in John’s gospel: John 20:25 Thomas “said to them, ‘Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.’”
biblegateway.com/passage/?searc
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The challenge Anglicanism has faced for nearly a century is that people coming to it from other traditions want it to just be their tradition of origin with less rules (Catholicism with married priests, Baptists with women pastors, Presbyterianism with less predestination, etc).
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Shooting protesters is bad. Shooting a CEO is also bad. Shooting people in general is bad. This isn't hard.
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Just a thought, maybe an AI generated image of a priest hanging himself in the door of his church isn't the best advertisement for "traditionalism."
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The only thing I have to say about the Meeks affair is this: for its own sake, the ACNA really needs to stop being such a cheap date. Stop swooning over every eloquently angry Anglican on the internet. Practice prudence and thoroughly test everyone before giving them a platform.
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Nondenominational evangelicals after listening to ten minutes of a Rowan Williams lecture and reading C. S. Lewis' Wikipedia article.
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The most unrealistic part of this image is that the Roman Catholic Emperor has an open Bible in front of him.
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"Pope Francis kicked the Synod on Synodality off to an electrifying start by declaring a Butlerian Jihad against AI. Following a fiery homily denouncing the "demon in the machine," the event culminated with the launching of nuclear warheads at four identified AI-hosting servers."
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This exchange tells you all you need to know about the "Reconquista" movement. He measures the worth of a church by the prettiness of its building, not the faithfulness of its people. When presented with an earnest question, he instantly resorts to mocking the PCA's buildings.
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I hate millennial weddings.
Vapid self-written vows? A middling open bar? The same music we've been listening to since middle school homecoming blasted at 200 dB?
Be radical. Get married on a Sunday in your local parish using the traditional rite. Your guests will thank you.
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I hate everything about this picture.
This Holy Week, we're inviting you to church. ⛪
With many services and events happening in your area, find one that's right for you at AChurchNearYou.com/lentandea….
#WatchAndPray
ALT Congregation worshipping during an Easter service at St Matt's, Plymouth.
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I'm convinced so many people aren't getting married because Boomers made marriage seem miserable and that you'll inevitably hate your spouse, because so many of them got married for the wrong reasons.
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Most of the crises inflicting the church in the present age can be traced to an attempt to bend the instruments and teaching of the church to worldly politics. This is not a feature restricted to the right or the left, the East or the West: it's everywhere and it's poisonous.
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All this man had to do when he stepped down from the mayorship was publish a ghostwritten book, cash in on speaking fees, and enjoy a long retirement as one of the most globally-respected American statesmen. Instead he reduced himself to this.
100 % Arabica coffee beans roasted right here in America 🇺🇸You will taste the difference! Order today at. Rudy.coffee
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Church of England Twitter is something else, man. Some ultra-traditionalist Anglo-Catholic priest will post a lament about how marginalized trads are in the CofE and half the likes will be from women vicars with Pride flags in their bios.
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The Three Streams of ACNA:
1. Future Roman Catholic converts
2. Future Eastern Orthodox converts
3. Future liberal Episcopalians
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Elon is hiding likes for two reasons:
1) To hide how much of the engagement on this site is from bots. Instead of trying to fix the problem he's trying to sweep it under the rug.
2) To encourage engagement with porn content, which he needs to increase revenue.
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The cold truth is there are very, very few young Christians, and most of the ones who do go to church are already spoken for. If your pitch for going to church is "you're going to meet a bunch of sexy young bachelorettes," you're not evangelizing - you're selling snake oil.
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Ah yes, nothing screams "anti-Semitic tradcath" like an ethnically Jewish Anglican who works as an editor for an Anabaptist magazine and who's married to a Calvinist. Don't know how @suzania will ever recover from this.
Susannah Black of Plough--someone many of you follow--has stated that the Catholic church didn't burn righteous women at the stake. this is madness.
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The passages of Scripture about handling disputes within the church are some of the most abused parts of the Bible. The types of disagreements in mind were petty disputes around money and property, not sexual assault of children. On those matters we are subject to the law.
Parents, if your child reports being sexually abused in your church, go to the police. Let them handle it. Don’t go to the church leadership. Just call the police. I hate to say this but don’t assume church leaders will do the right thing. Many of them are too weak & pathetic.
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The Episcopal Church is a country club for WASPs pretending to be an anarcho-syndicalist commune.
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Every now and then I come across a certain type of account with a bio that goes something like "Trad Anglo-Catholic Benedictine ✝️ | Post-Liberal High Tory Socialist 🌹| Defender of Our Lady 📿 | Neo-Platonism 📚| Lover of Orthodox Preaching and Ancient Liturgy 🕯️| They/Them 🏳️⚧️"
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The funniest thing about this tweet is PETA assumes no one would ever want to eat a T-Rex. This is America, for God's sake: we eat alligators, catfish, rattlesnakes, even squirrels. If we did a real Jurassic Park the most popular item at the resort bistro would be T-Rex chili.
Think twice before ordering that chicken sandwich... T-Rexes wouldn't approve of you eating their descendants 👉 bit.ly/trexkintochicken #DinosaurDay
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The reactions to Bp. Wood's election prove that a lot of people on this site don't understand the ACNA, and don't understand the role of the Archbishop. Bp. Wood is very typical of the type of Anglican you find in the ACNA & GAFCON, and the Archbishop is basically a moderator.
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Western sexual licentiousness, Eastern ethno-nationalism, African syncretism, Chinese Christo-Maoism: all of these things represent a demonic inversion of the mission of the church: to shape the world to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, trampling worldly idols beneath it.
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I have a theory most of our social tensions can be attributed to this particular overlap of people.
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One of the most important duties of Anglicans is to occasionally remind the Presbyterians that Cromwell was not, in fact, a good guy.
Cromwell is not the best example to use if you're against the desecration of churches
After capturing Lichfield Cathedral, Parliamentary forces stabled horses in the nave, used the choir as a toilet, dug up the floor for treasure, smashed tombs, & hunted cats with a pack of dogs
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Dear clergy,
Twitter is not a private group chat with your buddies, it's a social media app literally anyone can access. If you wouldn't say it from the pulpit or on the street, please don't tweet it.
Signed,
A Concerned Layman
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As some of you know, my rector is leaving due to strains on the parish's finances. Today he greeted me in the parking lot with a parting gift: a stack of books from his personal library. Among them is a well-worn 1928 BCP.
I was humbled almost to silence. I am unworthy.
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This goes both ways. I've never met a "trad Catholic" in the wild. The Catholics I've known are pretty much all of the Christmas-and-Easter variety or the type who go most weeks but are also divorced and/or cohabitating.
Listen to me carefully: the internet is not real life. Offline the only Protestants I have known are megachurch bapticostals and liberal mainliners. And these people almost never understand Catholicism. I don’t think I’ve ever met a studious “classical Protestant” in the wild.
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Everyone's talking about the King and bishops' outfits, meanwhile I can't get enough of William's God-Emperor regalia. He looks like he's ready to conquer the galaxy.
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