danlet@evildanevil
Joined July 2012
When the dentist asks u if a totally random date an entire year from now works for u
155
20,740
367,820
4,749,797
191
8,120
173,863
2,775,292
Spotify shut down today so that we would have to listen to women
173
16,428
156,487
457
17,253
145,681
Imagine a little French girl named Cigarette
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10,794
136,929
When spotify automatically turns on magic shuffle its like thanks. never do that again
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7,166
135,299
2,001,185
You’re telling me a pumpkin creamed in this cold brew
76
16,220
115,155
In the top 0.05% listeners of women
68
12,993
108,730
Had a full convo with some one , not realizing my fone laying flat on the table with this image on the screen the entire time
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5,271
109,777
2,753,596
Nice image of ur apartment. i am zooming in on all of your belongings
43
6,843
84,141
2,183,727
Can I come over and act peculiar
49
15,401
78,352
75
7,071
76,494
some people turn 25 and decide they’re 42
270
5,764
75,317
Dont know how many more $7-$15 transactions i have left in me
57
11,001
74,952
2,185,110
trust me we know your spotify wrapped is Taylor, Swift and harry styles we know just by looking at you
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6,499
68,885
[about to be publicly executed] everyone is mad at me :(
17
8,087
61,482
Unfortunately i cannot kill myself. i have a package comign
51
11,444
61,694
2,119,811
If I had a bf I would ask him one million billion questions
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5,915
61,153
As seen on my dad’s Facebook
60
2,900
59,085
Me establishing a boundary
23
7,551
57,372
1,762,047
Stop coughing. we get it your sick
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5,094
50,146
You apologized for no reason 37,452 times this year
148
11,090
48,754
2,135,502
31
6,909
49,200
1,839,071
Hey I noticed you aren’t obsessed with me. What’s up with that
26
8,668
43,085
Him: are u fuckign stupid me:
13
6,116
41,499
1,658,298
Rage against Florence and the machine gun kelly Clarkson
70
4,229
38,091
I dont do well in situations
12
7,334
37,720
1,183,571
A fat orange cat could fix me
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6,301
36,359
U just need 1 friend to text ur entire stream of consciousness to
177
4,299
35,211
2,276,089
Babe it’s so hot when u give me that awful sinking feeling in my stomach
17
3,789
31,440
14
2,903
31,014
Are we going to Goodwill to look at trinkets or what
42
4,726
30,678
I am a result of not locking in
21
8,010
30,266
551,057
Just remembered no ones saving me
21
3,823
29,761
670,762
danlet@evildanevil
27 Nov 2023
I will total my car taking a picture of a license plate
88
1,766
28,938
1,718,285
Can I come over and ask you one million billion questions
28
4,424
28,068
I love to be like “when I was your age..” to an 18 yr old
29
2,945
27,813
You brake checked me. I’m holding an open beer and you brake checked me
21
2,210
27,541
Me trusting the process
24
6,058
26,865
973,809
Ill come but is it ok if i wear my default outfit
12
3,707
25,618
1,113,458
32
4,683
24,557
Not suicidal but if i die its like. ok valid
18
5,199
24,461
1,184,153
You can tell a lot about a person by violating HIPAA
7
1,898
22,804
This is what i look like when i make a sandwich
E
@ElijahSchaffer
22 Aug 2022
Why aren’t we encouraging our girls to pursue jobs like this? We need true equality
23
1,807
21,210
Hey can I come over and be a straight up liability
17
3,241
20,926
Im pregnet. with hate
26
4,445
21,092
1,123,487
[didn’t hear a word you said] haha yea
15
4,114
20,662
4
1,527
20,476
705,359
Slop from the trough prolly go crazy when you’re a pig
36
1,678
20,001
(clenching jaw, tears streaming down face) Whats. the move
11
2,707
18,750
462,254
Jus found out aliens are real but i dont even care. like ok i still havr work in the morning
6
2,829
18,283
696,143
First date idea I cancel it because I’m scared
16
2,039
17,030
Well well well @GabbieHanna
7
528
16,814
Can i come over and have a little episode
19
2,373
15,900
It has to be so over before we can be so back
22
3,240
16,094
652,264
How i sleep knowing everything is gonna be ok eventually maybe
15
3,347
15,370
558,651
Im not stalking u im manifesting a relationship
25
1,444
13,587
497,762
So it appears that i’m the gay cousin
14
2,449
13,059
Can i bring my baggu to the clurb
30
2,116
13,659
604,448
Sorry that you feel ugly :( I have no experience with that
10
1,916
12,695
This says a lot abt society and how we live in one ..
3
1,301
12,166
258,694
Cant lead a shrimp to fried rice
25
1,498
12,939
266,106
7
1,281
11,729
402,223
18
1,038
11,401
397,093
14
1,989
11,688
481,626
Clocking out and kissing every one of my coworkers goodbye on the mouth
13
1,282
11,570
You ever almost kill someone while driving and get a little embarrassed
29
616
11,536
I dont play about bed time
13
3,132
11,333
670,315
Nice injury can i add insult to it
5
1,060
11,425
221,158
I have angels on both shoulders actually,,
26
4,200
11,020
509,560
Fuck babe im bout to fade into you
6
2,116
10,624
648,720
5
1,550
10,544
429,407
Romeo and Juliet both misread the vibe and killed themselves
13
835
10,166
Everything will be ok…maybe….idk your situation
4
2,048
10,037
kissing the screenshot of you in my phone goodnight
16
941
9,844
Can i come over and fade into you
9
2,289
9,800
493,406
I need a shock collar for every time i think
13
2,839
9,817
664,359
First date idea you have 24 hours to unfollow those girls
8
1,382
9,655
This is what i think i look like wit my new glasses. shalom harlow 1993when i know deep down i look like paul dano 2008
14
441
9,768
252,775
One thing about me is i have work tomorow
15
2,479
9,715
337,092
12
1,146
8,789
330,583
I hope i become a real person soon
8
2,360
8,436
385,252
27
795
8,374
Dont care didnt ask plus im going to cry
3
2,040
8,441
Couples shirts idea i came up with
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287
8,097
Going to work. gona be really mad if they ask me to do stuff
4
1,775
8,240
341,474
27
661
8,162
346,202
Babe I’m bored let’s get into a domestic dispute in a Walmart parking lot
5
905
8,008
Me as a therapist: Holy shit I don’t care
5
804
7,918
2
523
7,932
244,423
I hate when my friends shake me upside down by my ankles and my jelly beans fall out my pockets
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932
7,532
Im pregnant. with concepts and ideas
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1,496
7,568
943,010
What do you do in this situation
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7,520
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Him: are u fucking stupid? me:
9
1,003
7,098
318,446
Youre in her dms im eating a big sandwich in my car
8
1,401
7,056
320,638
Im a sick little freak who secretly likes when it gets dark early
21
1,471
7,517
139,105
My dog is taking me to get put down
6
854
7,062
Next time a customer yells at me i’m gonna start hitting myself saying “stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”
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939
7,006
Men won’t date me because they’re too scared of laughing a lot and having fun
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1,043
6,906
1
1,216
6,864
281,695