New Yorker staff writer. Books: "I Like To Watch" & “Cue The Sun!: The Invention of Reality TV." I’m not here— Find me at Bluesky/Insta: emilynussbaum
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Gonna maintain this cursed account for voyeuristic purposes but will no longer post here— I should have ditched a long time ago, but have never been known for my self-control... You can find me on Bluesky (which seems to be popping!), Threads and Instagram, under the same name
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The more I think about it, the more impressed I am that Michelle Wolf did such a harsh act WITHOUT insulting any woman's looks. She aimed straight at the white female enforcers & never once suggested that anyone was a bimbo or a dog—like the man they work for surely would have.
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Dr. Birx is going to leave a horrible legacy. It's one thing to be a cynical paid fixer. It's worse, in my eyes, to be the expert who props up the mad king. I get that it's an emergency & I understand the theoretical strategy she may think she's pursuing, but it's a moral horror.
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This really does remind me that the most dangerous period in an abusive marriage is when you leave.
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I’m currently on vacation in Canada, where college tuition runs <9K (in American $), everyone has health insurance & maternity leave lasts a year. Also, abortion is both legal & publicly funded
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Elon musk should be slang for the scent a person gives off when they’re sketchy/disappointing. “I was excited to meet his brother, but the guy had an unsettling elon musk.”
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I'm glad that AOC is being so direct about this. It's no joke: these guys egged on a movement that tried, quite literally, to murder her, Pelosi, Pence and so on. The idea of "moving on" from that is ridiculous. There was a noose hanging outside the capitol three weeks ago!
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When Pence's wife is doing is disgusting. It's no different than if she took a job at a racially segregated school. And people should view it that way.
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I was just on TikTok and a guy there presented his theory that in The Piano Man, the narrator is working in a gay bar and doesn’t realize it. It completely holds up
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Time feels warped, so I think we should add a second Halloween to the year, maybe in March
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I wish just one person standing there would yell out, “I can’t do this anymore! This guy is crazy, it’s obvious, it’s dangerous, it’s not funny.”
Trump muses that he could’ve become a research scientist instead of president.
TRUMP: I like this stuff. I really get it… every one of these doctors said, ‘how do you know so much about this?’ Maybe I have a natural ability.
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Honestly, among the most damning and suspicious things is that he has no idiotic nickname for Putin.
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Warren got this done.
Bloomberg campaign says they'll release three women from NDAs if that's what they want.
Bloomberg also announces new policy: "for as long as I’m running the company, we won’t offer confidentiality agreements to resolve claims of sexual harassment or misconduct going forward."
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Anyone else having trouble absorbing all the terrible news and getting your work done and sleeping through the night and reading all the books and watching all the TV shows?
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Call a lie a lie. Call a money launderer a money launderer. Call a racist statement a racist statement. That’s what language is FOR.
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Yeah, it's true, I lost my virginity to George Clooney. George Clooney Total Landscaping.
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I remember in my 30s, I had this feeling that ppl saw me as less than fully adult bc I wasn't married & had no kids, but I also thought, Hey, that's kind of self-centered, I'm probably being paranoid... & then I married & had kids & realized I was 100% CORRECT— instant cred
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The person who writes these is the Dorothy Parker of PR, tonal perfection
Our statement on... whatever that was
ALT Statement on Donald Trump's Interview with Elon Musk Donald Trump's extremism and dangerous Project 2025 agenda is a feature not a glitch of his campaign, which was on full display for those unlucky enough to listen in tonight during whatever that was on X.com. Trump's entire campaign is in service of people like Elon Musk and himself - self-obsessed rich guys who will sell out the middle class and who cannot run a livestream in the year 2024.
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The monarchy is repulsive. This began as a dishy watch but it's gotten genuinely upsetting. Also, Oprah is such a good interviewer.
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Trump is not "somber," he's not "acknowledging facts" or "deferring to experts." I doubt he even has a friend in a coma. His goal is strategic: to erase history (his week-ago Easter statement) & nudge the definition of success so he meets it.
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Someone on FB just posted this all-female version of the Presidents, using that face-swap app.
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I’m making a playlist of songs in which the singer describes *another* song, but we don’t actually hear that song… and so far the only two entries are Killing Me Softly With His Song and The Monster Mash
Please suggest other examples!
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Which 30 Rock fictional project do you think was the best one (i.e. highest quality/most entertaining), in a universe in which they’re all real? My bet is on The Rural Juror.
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Weird to rewatch Seinfeld bc JS is a bad actor, Kramer isn’t all that funny & yet George and Elaine are the most hilarious, watchable actors/characters ever to appear on TV
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This is what not impeaching the president leads to: The shrugging expectation that everyone is corrupt and even objecting to it is being a prig. It’s the central goal of The Grifter’s administration—numbness and kleptocracy.
“There’s nothing wrong with taking information from Russians,” Rudy Giuliani tells @jaketapper. #CNNSOTU cnn.it/2XuEeGP
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The reason that he keeps obsessing about “standing” and snapping “don’t talk to the President of the United States that way“ is that it’s sinking in that he’s not going to have that title for much longer & it is driving him craaaazy.
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Hey in case everybody forgot, the President is quite clearly trying to destroy journalism. Maybe let’s not help him.
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Jesus, Congress is soulless. "The most important thing is to just keep moving forward" is the ethical philosophy of a hit-and-run driver.
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I hate that everybody is offering up their most painful memories to help stop this and it’s not going to stop this.
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Today one of my kids asked me what was going on with Netflix & I told them about how the company used to send DVDs in envelopes as though it was some ancient tale of YORE
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Just a reminder that when Shakespeare was quarantined because of the plague, he masturbated incessantly.
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Teen girls in the 80s were required to have a season, a face shape, a 6-pack of shoulder pads, mousse, astringent, a scrunchie & a terrifying skin cream full of apricot shards
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If pretty much all mass killers were women, I think we'd probably highlight that fact.
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I think they should keep moving Fearless Girl a quarter-inch closer to the bull every week to really drive that sculptor crazy.
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Jaw dropping. That lowest IQ crack about asylum seekers returning to the authorities is a) racist b) factually wrong c) part of his *life-long* eugenics obsession & d) directly related to his central belief that anyone who follows rules (or pays taxes) is a dummy.
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It’s deeply disturbing how normal it has become for ordinary people to fear MAGA retribution if they speak up about the Trump campaign’s behavior
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As soon as we realized what was going to happen, we sent the kids upstairs to watch a movie, thank God. It was a terrible thing to experience with them around
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One underestimated aspect of Parks & Rec was how fully it nailed the media, from Perd Hapley to Joan Calamezzo & the Gotcha Dancers to Crazy Ira and the Douche to that hilarious NPR parody. Shauna Malwae-Tweep was the most legit journalist in that town & she's 100% unemployed now
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Wow. The idea that MW's joke "called out" Sander's eye makeup is madness. She PRAISED her eye makeup—she said it was a "perfect smokey eye"—she just pointed out that it was made of the ashes of burned lies. Which it is! Both.
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I am genuinely interested in the smart reporting on these fascist creeps who stormed the Capitol, but I was also looking forward to reading diner-profiles of black Georgia voters and activists who flipped the state. It kills me that this story knocked them out of the headlines.
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They should do a split screen, with Trump on one side and an extremely weary Daniel Dale on the other side, with Red Bull and a laptop, fact-checking.
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I’m not normally all “but the children” but it makes me sick with rage that kids—especially black brown & immigrant kids—would hear the President call the countries their families came from “shitholes.”
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The wild thing about Portman's gesture was the fabulous brass of it: by inserting those words into the award intro (rather than a winner's speech), she guaranteed that the next five shots would be the nominee's faces.
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"Warren is bursting with what we might call charisma in male candidates: She has the folksy demeanor of Biden, the ferocious conviction of Sanders, the deep intelligence of fellow law professor Obama. But EW isn't a man & so those traits are framed as liabilities, not strengths."
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I grew up in a house with a lot of books on the Holocaust, including a photo book with a picture of naked bodies in a mass grave. It was a useful thing to see, part of a larger message that you should tell the truth about what happened in the world, not make it easy or tidy.
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Ya know Bannon also hit his ex-wife & no one gave a damn. This is a pattern with these guys, not an exception.
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It is wild that people treat as normal a President who—midway through public discussions of a pandemic!—obsesses over whether people praise him properly. He is clearly mentally ill with NPD & it's a central problem that it just gets ignored.
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I’m enjoying this new thing where Gen X doesn’t exist in any generational analysis. It’s like we’re a bunch of gloomy, curmudgeonly ghosts, which feels accurate.
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So in some parts of the country, Republican crowds are chanting “count those votes“ and in other parts, “stop the count“??
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Guys, I’m starting to think Trump might be trying to get election help from foreign governments, it’s just this vibe I’m picking up
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Jim Jordan apparently trying to demonstrate that someone can in fact talk loudly enough to be overheard on a cellphone without the speaker on.
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Racially charged. Racially tinged. Racism-flecked. Marbled with racism. Racism adjacent.
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Just put on Steve Miller’s The Joker during a road trip and one of my kids said, “All rise for the Boomer National Anthem.”
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Sadly, my beloved father Bernie Nussbaum died yesterday of cardiac disease. He’d been sick, but it was still sudden. A rare combination of a total mensch & a legal powerhouse, he had a sharp mind, a deep soul & a loving heart. This is a pic of him when we were all much younger.
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Trump refused to begin testing early, because he thought higher numbers would hurt his re-election prospects. This isn't an ambiguous situation. This is why we're here.
A previous tweet of this quote did not make it adequately clear that it is Trump who did not push for adequate testing, not Secretary of Health and Human Services Azar. Here is the whole quote for context. @ddiamond
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Whoa I just got new glasses and it is AMAZING. Among other things, I can now see clearly enough to realize that the (awful) #metoo icon is three hands raised, not a tiny vagina, which is what I'd always seen in the past.
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Hot damn. I won a goddamn Pulitzer. Thank you to this wonderful magazine for letting me mouth off & think out loud.
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HUGE props to everyone who told their story in that piece on Louis CK. It takes big guts to tell the truth about such a powerful guy. I'm glad that in the wake of the Weinstein expose, people are listening.
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You know, the Trump University scam *alone* should have been enough to defeat him. Kills me that people didn’t give a damn about that con.
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The really notable thing was how panicked Mike Lee seemed about doing *anything* that seemed less than utterly submissive to Trump.
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The Emmy categories should be Funny Drama, Sad Comedy, Legit Hilarious, Pioneering Weirdos, Only Okay But We Like The People Involved, Cast So Sexy That We Want To See Their Speeches and Comfort Food
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What I loved about Barbie was the way the Ken arc wasn’t about men, it was about patriarchy, flipped: when your only route to feeling real is thru the loving gaze of the dominant gender, you’re left hollow & needy & fighting the other Kens/Barbies. Like in Mad Men, only pink!
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The Sharpie thing is weirdly upsetting, bc it is so trivial, petty & transparent—which makes it hard to take seriously. Just like the Sean Spicer crowd-size garbage that opened this hideous era.
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She did the same technique w Trump. She listed the easy shots—he's nuts, he cheats, he colludes—then consciously picked the one thing that bugs him: revealing that he's NOT RICH. I said this last night, but it's the one subject he barred at the Friar's Roast. So she went for it.
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Into The Spiderverse is the one installment that actually SHOULD have been nominated for an Oscar
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Hmm okay, so now I’m starting to LIKE a bunch of the songs on this massive, messy, feverish Taylor Swift album… Also, she’s very funny. “We’ll tell no one except all of our friends”
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This would all be so easily resolved if DT said "I'm sorry that phone conversation caused her pain. These are hard times & I wish her well."
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Clive and I are drunk on scotch and he wants to create a company that will “pay people not to podcast.”
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The best part of the finale was when Shiv and Roman were doing imitations of how Kendell would react if they murdered him
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It’s gross to post your ex’s private texts unless you have a really solid reason to do so—& this holds true even if your ex was a thin-skinned, manipulative weasel. That used to be a given, but it clearly isn’t anymore
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