Notorious Brummie. Historian of religion and magic in the ancient world. Pianist/organist. Gg-child of a Peaky Blinder. Protect the Shire 🇬🇧🥃

I don’t want to panic anyone in Bristol but
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Not a fan of the new Harry Potter book
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Is that.. a cat in full armour?
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I feel like this was fate
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Pretty sure we could test the entire UK in 24hrs if we let Aldi checkout assistants run the testing centres
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I’ve fallen in love with this Nosferatu candle holder
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Dear @BBC, please - for the love of God - stop calling thousands of normal peaceful Brits ‘far right’
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Tributes being paid to Ozzy Osbourne here in Birmingham
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There’s a protest march happening in London right now against grooming gangs. And there’s a counter protest. A counter protest! Imagine being on a pro grooming gangs protest.
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I have a PhD in demonology, necromancy and curses in the ancient world. Come at me, bros.
The 'basement guys' trolling this woman showing off her PhD owned themselves so hard it's hilarious thepoke.com/2024/12/02/men-t…
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Every UK household this morning now that the Online Safety Act has come into effect
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While we’re worrying about AI, the bollards are planning a global revolution
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We’ve reached that point in the week where we would all benefit from seeing some baby bats eating bananas
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Tiny cow ₘₒₒ
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My body is not a temple, it is a Catholic church. Full of wine, bread and guilt.
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I have a new hero
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Developers bought the iconic Black Country pub The Crooked House (building built in 1765) and it mysteriously burnt down last night. This happens every single time a pub is bought across Birmingham. Starting to feel like ‘housing developer’ is code for ‘arsonist’.
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This tickled me
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Pray for all those lost soles
🚨 NEW: Shoe Zone in Hull town centre has been looted and set on fire
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The Tolkiens knew how to throw a party
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An ancient artefact of the Homeric age, courtesy of Joshua Goode
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Whitby Abbey restored using drones
Community note
This never happened. The image is just a 3D rendering showing how ruins could be visually reconstructed using drones. Also, Whitby Abbey didn't have a spire. nitter.app/fakehistoryhun… virtualreconstruction.com/wp/?p=69
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Why does it look like he’s about to shoot down a water slide?
🔴 Vatican releases images of Pope Francis in open coffin Follow the latest ⬇️ telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2…
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Austin and his mates putting flags up in Rubery Birmingham today. Operation Raise The Colours continues apace!
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For a second there I thought it was a steak baguette
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What a beautiful ancient Mesopotamian cuneiform tablet. I wonder what ageless wisdom it conveys?
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I’m outside your house
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It’s a little known fact that the Vikings covered the roof of their houses with grass so that enemy aircraft bombers couldn’t see them
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Wishing Princess Anne a speedy recovery
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They'll ban VPNs next. Then they'll ban social media. Then they'll ban computers. Then they'll ban speaking to each other in unauthorised environments. Then
The Online Safety Act is such a self-defeating move. Because of it, millions of Brits are signing up to VPNs to get around restrictions on censored content. So now millions of Brits are equipped with a tool that hides their identity and will be much harder to track or prosecute if they decide to engage in activities against the regime. (slow clap) Bravo, Sir Keir.
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Ancient Mayan god or delivery packaging?
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Huge crowds at Glasto this year
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Petition for the carousel horse to appear on EVERY movie poster for the remainder of the year
Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield in John Crowley’s ‘WE LIVE IN TIME’. 📷
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New email signature just dropped
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How to stay safe this Halloween
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Black Sabbath Bridge in Birmingham today
Tributes being paid to Ozzy Osbourne here in Birmingham
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That’s life. One day they’re celebrating your birth, three days later they’re celebrating your execution.
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These are the men from Weoley Castle who are filling the streets of Birmingham with England flags. If you’ve seen the recent vids of flag-lined streets then these are the people responsible. Keep it up lads!
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Nothing beats getting home from work, kicking off your shoes, pouring a glass and settling down with a good book
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It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it
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Those bollards should keep their car secure 👍
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When life gives you demons, make demonade
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Pretty impressive that a billionaire living miles away in the US grasps the reality of what is actually happening on the streets of my little Birmingham council estate - and cares more about it - than our own country’s Prime Minister
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My new lunch bag is causing concern in the office
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A tenner says he’s a vegan cyclist who showers once a week and leads mindfulness workshops for under fives at the weekend
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And the ladies will be watching even more closely. We all know what’s coming.
The British public is watching this case VERY closely.
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Whenever I feel like life has dealt me a bad hand, I remind myself… at least I’m not Kate Beckinsale’s cat.
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Turns out the Bob Vylan singer is a clean-living vegan named Pascal Robinson-Foster. Oh mate.
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I tried donating blood today. Never again. Way too many questions. Whose blood is that? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?
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Me in 2028 using my Brit Card to request three minutes of government-supervised internet access so that I can post a picture of my cat
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Buying this for when the police come and tell me that my rich husband died in mysterious circumstances
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It’s a relief that the UK (and world) is finally seeing Birmingham’s woes. I’ve grown up being told to turn a blind eye to many issues in the city because we’re a ‘growing multicultural city with some teething problems’. But the reality is stark: no-go zones exist, women face harassment by groups of men in the city centre, and so many streets are rubbish dumps. I’m tired of turning a blind eye. And if we don’t do something about it soon then the rest of the country will quickly slide into the same living nightmare.
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When I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d end the day explaining to a lovely police officer (who kept it together very well) exactly how a man was having sex with an electricity box on the street.
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Bought myself a new car to drive through Birmingham city centre
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Starmer is going to ban X in the UK, isn’t he?
People of the great nations of Britain & Ireland, rally NOW to save your beautiful countries! 🇬🇧🇮🇪 It’s now or never. Fight, fight, fight! ⚔️ Soon, it will be too late.
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Waking up to all the Aurora Borealis photos when I slept through the entire thing #NorthernLights
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My dating pool
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Rapists have human rights. We can’t kill them. Child murderers have human rights. We can’t kill them. Serial killers have humans rights. We can’t kill them. Terrorists have human rights. We can’t kill them. But hey, fuck the babies and the old folk.
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There’s a little village outside Birmingham called Frankley and this morning someone ‘enhanced’ the place name sign
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Happy birthday Søren Kierkegaard. We can feel the flames.
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I’m sorely tempted to buy a Freudian slip (to go with my Freudian slippers)
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Please please please let this be the second half to the Jaguar advert
Marcus Byrne
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The dragon is slain, hurrah! ⚔️
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Call the cops
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Today marks the anniversary of J.R.R. Tolkien’s death. The professor certainly knew how to throw a party.
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Sorry buddy, I don’t give a rat’s ass how much billionaires make overnight. My only ‘hope’ is that I don’t get raped by some random hotel patron on my way home from the pub.
Let's make hope normal again.
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The rampage continues!
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To be fair it must be cold inside the fridge
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Can we please elect Rowan Atkinson as Prime Minister? #freespeech
DeepTruth
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A close friend of mine died a few years ago leaving her 3yr old daughter without a mother. She was on the council housing waiting list and, despite supporting letters from the courts and her GP, she was so far down the housing list that she died before she could be moved. Reading stories like this makes me burn beyond rage.
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My elderly neighbour has given me this for my garden. It’s going to come alive and kill me in the night, isn’t it?
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There’s a blood-red moon over the UK tonight. A beautiful spectacle.
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This little cactus looks like it’s creeping away after committing a crime
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Party like it’s 1945 #VEDay80
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Hello Police Scotland? I’d like to report a hate crime
Scotland's new hate crime law comes into force bbc.in/43Dbqzh
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Are you ready for a conversation about the no-go zones that have been in Birmingham for years too?
St George's flags are creating 'no-go zones' for NHS staff, health bosses warn trib.al/BtndFyH
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Katie lives near me and she was waiting for the same bus that I get home with friends after a night out in Birmingham. It could have been any one of us. Prison isn’t sufficient punishment. I’d pay good money to pull the lever myself and watch her killer hang.
A woman who was stabbed in a seemingly random attack in Birmingham city centre has been pictured for the first time. Katie Fox, 34, from Northfield, suffered a serious neck injury after being attacked on Smallbrook Queensway shortly before 9pm on Friday.
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I wonder whether there will be a mass at his funeral?
Peter Higgs, physicist who theorised Higgs boson, dies aged 94 bbc.in/3xoUlNg
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Dear @elonmusk, PLEASE BUY THE UK NEXT. Thank you.
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If the US would like to declare war, invade and conquer the UK then I for one would welcome our new Yankee overlords
🚨BREAKING: The White House has issued a warning to Keir Starmer to stop censoring American tech companies America knows Starmer's a dictator.
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“And here’s a routine I call Tracey’s Had A Few Vodkas”
Seinfeld Current Day
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This is a heavily used bus stop opposite the main train station in Birmingham. I used to get the bus at this stop 3x week. Last night some nutter randomly walked up to a woman there and stabbed her in the neck. The police have lost control of the city. dailymail.co.uk/news/article…
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Don’t forget to leave some bread and fish out for Jesus when he delivers your Easter eggs down the chimney tonight
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Sir that is a washing-up sponge
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The Swedish word for goat is 'get' and the Swedish for kid is 'killing', resulting in this creepy instruction in a children’s educational book
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An Egyptian figurine of a woman baking bread. And not, as I first thought, a little elf watching TV.
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It will be like The Hunger Games in Birmingham this weekend
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How to keep yourself safe from vampires this Halloween
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Told my friend's daughter that Kinder Eggs are actually Minion coffins. Now she's crying and I feel like Satan.
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WHOA OH OH
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Watching @PatrickChristys exposing the migrant camps in France. This guy has balls bigger than the planet. He makes other journalists look like infants.
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On the one hand, I’m appalled. On the other, I’m intrigued.
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If they open the tomb and release an undead Santa and his zombie elf hordes that would be the perfect end to 2024
Archaeologists in Türkiye believe they have discovered the tomb of Saint Nicholas, famously known as Santa Claus 🇹🇷
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Birmingham City Council are saying that flags cannot be attached to lampposts because the weight of the flags can cause the lampposts to collapse 🤣🤣 birminghammail.co.uk/news/mi…
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My brain sees this as two photos
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So this is how I die
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