A man's man, with a hint of lavender. Do contact michelle@mlbmanagement.co.uk with any security/rythmic dance enquiries.
Bath, England.
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My new column. Now with correct discount code: FLATMANXV
Read it. Or don’t. X
🚨 New columnist alert 🚨
The incomparable @davidflatman has joined @TheXV growing stable of writers.
Here he waxes lyrical on the personal pain of Test non-selection and Eddie Jones' idiosyncrasies 🏉
thexv.rugby/2020/10/22/selec…
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My brother in law is a lorry driver and delivers fuel. He’s on the road now and there are people following him - literally tracking his every turn - in cars. He says it’s like end of days. 2021 y’all.
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One sad thing. Lots of us English spend the World Cup properly rooting for the Welsh. We love Gats, AWJ and co. Then England lose a game most of us thought they’d win after being immense last week, and the Welsh vitriol on here is endless. Shame really, and a little childish. X
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When the Police drive past in their cars or vans, my children and I wave and they always wave back. I’m teaching my kids to love the Police. I love them. They keep us safe. My girls and I are grateful. 👮♂️ 🚨
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My lovely brother on the beach with his favourite scarf x
@DSAInfo #WorldDownSyndromeDay #LotsOfSocks
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Important point. One of the most legally savage games many of us can remember, yet no yellows or reds or head-related incidents. Fantastic.
An unbelievable game of rugby with outstanding skill and incredible defensive tackle tech from both sets of players....not a single head on head review, all tackles ferocious but low. Big respect.
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We know Manu is a unit...so look at his big brother Henry...some of us had to (try to) tackle him. Never saw a unit like it. Him leaving @LeicesterTigers and signing for Perpignan was a truly great day!
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Played in, watched, and called a lot of rugby matches over the years. I’ve never witnessed an atmosphere like that. Twice I found myself hoping @andNickMullins didn’t come to me as I couldn’t speak. Not one for unnecessary emotion, but this was incredibly special 🇯🇵
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Most of all, respect @KyleSinckler for being powerful, dominant, beastly, and utterly open and vulnerable at the same time. A true example.
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The key to hide and seek with children is to stay mobile. Move as they move. Inhabit spaces that have very recently checked and disregarded. Out-think them. Out-move them. Beat them.
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19-7 looks like a comfortable win for England. The truth is they battered New Zealand. Monstrous up front. Relentless everywhere. @ITVRugby #RugbyWorldCup19 🏴
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It’s half time and the #POTM trophy is having key moments from the first half etched into it. A complete one-off. #startsomethingpriceless #rwc2019 @mastercard #ad
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The Japanese rugby team are my heroes. Just completely inspirational. 🇯🇵 🙌...and that crowd... 🔈💥
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If Alun Wyn Jones plays rugby this weekend then we need a specialist team to investigate if he is indeed the baddie made from mercury in Terminator 2.
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Whatever happened to #BeKind Goodey? Didn’t last long.
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If you don’t fight bulls, you won’t get gored. If you don’t rob and terrify people on your scooter, you won’t sustain broken bones. Seems reasonably simple.
Moped thugs sustain broken bones from ramming tactic standard.co.uk/news/crime/mo…
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What a Rugby World Cup. A truly memorable seven weeks in the most welcoming country, with the most enthusiastic people. Loved Japan’s skill and speed, loved the Springboks’ discipline in brutality. Home time now, and time for a little break 🇯🇵x
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My beloved dog died recently, and I wrote a short article about him. I miss him very much.
Be prepared to blub as @davidflatman pays tribute to his faithful four-legged pal, the late great Gus
❤️ bit.ly/39DVuCQ
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Couple of unsolicited thoughts from last night in Paris. Genge is a mighty player. Nowell is horribly unlucky. Freddie Steward may be the best aerial player England have ever had, and he’s only 17 years old. It still feels weird that Danny Care has been banished.
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Always been sad never to have become a Lion. Turns out I was merely geographically naive.
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FACEBOOK FOUND MY DOG! He ran out of the garden in Bath and is now in Kent, via a lovely man in a van who couldn’t find anyone to claim him. Collecting tomorrow. SOCIAL MEDIA! 💕💯
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Terrestrial Highlights are back. Great news. See you next week, shiny jackets optional.
ITV agree deal to show Premiership rugby, including live final theguardian.com/sport/2022/j…
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That game was just brilliant. France fantastic, England just a bit better! Kicking to compete, threatening attack, insane cardio, relentless hard yards from Billy, Sinckler and Curry. A genuine treat to be in comms alongside two masters of the trade.
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Wales looked tonight like a truly horrid team to play against. A pack of dogs. An organised pack of dogs!
🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴
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I really want the Welsh to do well out here, but they’re just being so aggressive 🏴
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I’m wearing brand new white socks straight out the box. And Graeme Souness’ teeth are whiter.
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Just two contemporary journalists doing their work #FlapsAndSmall
@Channel5Sport @SaintsRugby @LeicesterTigers
Channel 5 Sport
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Imagine Bristol pitching up this Saturday and winning the Prem. Would either be ridiculous, or a suitably bizarre ending to the most bizarre season. I say if Wasps can’t play, give it to Exeter and let Jonny Hill keep drinking.
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We had a baby last week. I was on the beach with a beer when it all started. We’re not sleeping very much but we don’t mind. And Badger the dog loves her. X @ Bath, Somerset instagram.com/p/CTeFePHjz8G/…
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Cuddles with my lovely little brother while the girls choose new school shoes. You know that lazy assumption that people with Down’s Syndrome are extra affectionate? Yeah, it’s actually a… instagram.com/p/Br7zi8sBBL0/…
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Those hammering or questioning me for disapproving of Beirne’s dive (Munster fans, oddly) are an embarrassment. He is a wonderful, epic rugby player whom I love to watch, but this piece of behaviour was shit. It must not go unmentioned, as it will then rapidly become the norm ⚽️
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If Brodie Retallick does this, it’s popping up on every third scroll on Instagram for a year.
How smart is this from @Cardiff_Rugby? 👏
Second-row Seb Davies with the perfectly-weighted kick pass for Josh Adams to score!
Excellent break! ⚡️
#ChallengeCupRugby
Watch the Challenge Cup live on BT Sport
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How good was Joe Launchbury yesterday? Surrounded by Lions, the best forward on the field. What a player.
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Fantastic game at Twickenham, with even the cool old pros cheering and out of their seats in the second half. Genge the best unit on that pitch. What a game he had 🤌
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I always say Cullen was the best attacking runner I ever watched. Then I remember I’m wrong. Robbo was.
.@Jason15Robinson was untouchable at times...
#SeeYaSundays 💥
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My lovely little brother can’t walk or swim, so Mum and Dad converted a neglected, seriously grim old ‘pool’ into a modern, shallow one. This means that Christian (we call him Pet, as my late Nana was from the North… instagram.com/p/CAucij8nM7W/…
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I’m going to find out what Bundee Aki has for breakfast and have it every day for a year.
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England smashed at home by a 14-man scratch team who’ve been pissed all week. George Kruis regal in retirement. France, indirectly, steam onwards, while what’ll happen in the first test in Australia, who knows…
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Just so cool. The @rugbyworldcup social media has been top class. Not an ad.
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In the interview room straight after, TJ Perenara came through and I introduced myself. “Hello David, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” After a tough interview: “Thank you David. Enjoy your week, it should be awesome.”
A thought after a night sleeping on it...how classy have the All Blacks been? From the immediate aftermath on the pitch to Steve Hansen & Keiran Read this morning. Grace in defeat is such a quality. They won’t be down long.
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Tough one tonight guys. In a taxi bath to Bath from Twickenham and my driver is a middle lane hog. Decided to explain to him how motorways work and he thanked me and ignored it. Now a seriously passive aggressive situation #m4
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We all (well, most of us - it has thousands of likes) know this stuff is bollocks. The thing to remember is that meeting hate with hate simply exacerbates the issue. Folau may be rich and successful, but I pity the bloke. I don’t hate him. Let’s just keep being kind x
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He’s up there, along with that bloke at Gloucester whose phone must have no service x
What a game.... !!! Is Finn Russell the best 10 in the world right now? #engvsco #atthedeath #heartbreaker
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If you met Eddie, you liked him. It was immediate. Which somehow makes this infinitely more sad. Eddie was just lovely to me, despite my being neither a rugby legend nor a direct colleague. He was a master, and he will be greatly missed.
Former Wales rugby union captain and legendary broadcaster and commentator Eddie Butler has died at the age of 65
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In a gym. Three blokes deadlifting and shouting about it. All the gear. Back slaps. Posing into mirrors. Opposite them stand three other blokes. Silent, fit, almost invisible, all three have Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belts. Three dickheads, three deadly.
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I don’t go to rugby grounds on my days off. With Finn Russell coming to Bath, I just might. Box office.
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AWJ has completely dominated this handshake. He doesn’t stop.
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Anyone who thinks you can’t smash ball carriers legally and low, watch Sam Underhill for a few minutes.
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I’m not watching the 2005 Wales Grand Slam game on TV but I do hope that if you are, you see that as well as Henson’s obvious class, old @TomShanklin really was an outstanding player. Brutal lines & brutal strength. You can nick the odd cap, but not 70 caps and 2 Grand Slams!🏴
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A few weeks ago I wrote somewhere that Marcus Smith was the second best 10 in England.
We all make mistakes! 🤷♂️
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What a class bloke.
Love this from @SaintsRugby's Dan Biggar 👏
The Welshman offering words of encouragement to 19-year-old @WorcsWarriors fly-half Fin Smith.
#GallagherPrem
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DANGER...love it. Mates on tour.
"Just come here a second....."
😂😂😂
@GeorgianRugby
Credit (on Instagram): @levanchilachava @vanokarkadze
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Rarely has the old ‘there’ll be a few sore bodies in the morning’ cliché been more appropriate for a rugby match.
Jeepers.
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They’re his mates. They’ll put an arm round him then mercilessly rip the p*ss out of him. Just as they should.
@davidflatman How will the Bath boys re-act to Freddie in the changing room? Public and private reactions?! #howler
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We’ve all made them. Personally I’d get him straight back out there. Top ref, and about as imperfect as every other human being I’ve met.
Referee Pascal Gauzere admits to making mistakes during Wales’ victory over England
independent.co.uk/sport/rugb…
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So yeah, @MarkDurdenSmith and I have just signed 4 year deals to do the rugger on @channel5_tv 💋👯#happy
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For me, the best thing Greta Thunberg has done is start the conversation among people who were not discussing climate change before. My little girls talk about it now - all the time in fact - and that’s down to Greta.
Greta Thunberg is handling being bullied by the President of the United States much better than I would be. I’m genuinely proud of her.
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Tigers top dogs. Absolutely relentless set of blokes. Seeing the legend Tom Youngs in there smiling the best bit 🐅
The tiger's roar is back! A nine year wait, but Leicester Tigers taste the glory today 🏆
#GallagherPremFinal
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The police won’t struggle to find him. He’s starting for West Ham tonight. A selection severely lacking in class.
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Never mind the whole Sam Simmonds debate, what about Danny Care and Mike Brown? Both in immense form. Brown may be better than ever.
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In my experience, the chat goes like this in rugby:
“How much of the game do you think is mental?”
“Oh that’s massive. At least 50% of it’s in the mind.”
“How much money do you spend on mental or psychological preparation of players?”
“Nah, that’s all bollocks isn’t it!” 🤔
The compelling reason why Wasps man has ended his fulltime rugby days
coventrytelegraph.net/sport/…
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That Dupont tackle made Hansen look like one of those people on the news being filmed leaning into a gale force wind at an impossible angle.
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Not that it makes any difference, but it would be horrid to get binned out by this shower of remonstrating bellends.
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Not a huge shock to see @ExeterChiefs giving their ‘Sarries’ money to their foundation. Lovely thing to do. Lovely club.
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Last night at the Stade de France was so electrifying, so loud that @andNickMullins @BenKay5 and I repeatedly found ourselves just grinning. Seasoned old pros feeling like kids again. Dad took me there to watch Jonah Lomu once - that magic hasn’t faded. Allez les blues 🇫🇷
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