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My new film "The Golden Game" is out now
Watch it here: piped.video/6Z_2DO4i23Y?si=Que5โฆ
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the scottish accent is so simple and classic, yet nobody can do it. the explanation is that we operate at a higher brain level than everybody else on earth, especially the english and the USA born
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soulja boy tell em.
go on
tell them what you did
*soulja boy looks at his feet and sighs*
"i ruined your flower display"
"and?"
"im sorry"
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Pretty "convenient" that a boy called Charlie Chocolate Factory would win a trip to his fav chocolate factory....
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Max just came round by surprise to pick me up and took this pic of me answering the door. I look like a pedo hunters Facebook victim
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Mackies of Scotland is what you would call a amazing company
the ice cream is amazing
the crisps are amazing
the chocolate is amazing
and the big bags of ice? well they dont amaze me but theyre cheap and it does exactly what it says on the bag: it's freezing cold ice
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Amazing time playing at the Kelvingrove Bandstand yesterday with Mac Demarco and Amyl & the Sniffers! Hereโs a video of some young people up the front who were not into my set
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Scotland needs independence so I can go on Eurovision with #TheKingdomOfScotland
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One of the UKs biggest tragedyโs is what they did to tizer. Not only did they get rid of the mental guy getting tizer poured into his brain and replace it with the most boring design ever, but they also changed the drink from tasting delicious to tasting disgusting
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In the chippy earlier there was no sausages and I thought I wasnโt getting one and then the guy dumped about 10 sausages into the bit and I went yassssss loud as fuck and he went mate can you please keep your voice down lol
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Cos there was somebody walking towards him not wearing a mask and he feared catching the omicron variant
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Canโt believe farmfoods is from Cumbernauld. This is like finding out GTA was Scottish when I was 10
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Had my 1st London pie and mash today I've lived here for 2 and a half years lol. Delicious btw
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amazing video of @KTTunstall dancing to my song "The Kingdom of Scotland" on instagram live!๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ณ๓ ฃ๓ ด๓ ฟ๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ณ๓ ฃ๓ ด๓ ฟ๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ณ๓ ฃ๓ ด๓ ฟ๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ณ๓ ฃ๓ ด๓ ฟ๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ณ๓ ฃ๓ ด๓ ฟ
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We got Super size me free in a newspaper when I was like 10 and I must have watched it about 100 times. I imagined it was me eating all the burgers and I imagined trying all the American stuff we didn't get in Scotland I wished I could eat it all. Morgan spurlock deserved to die
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Struggling with some bad writers block lately, so as a little exercise I wrote some lyrics to an already famous instrumental song: "Green Onions" by Booker T & The MG's
I hope you like my take on this awesome tune
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from myself and everyone at Scottish igloos: We can fight the coronavirus.
Together.๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ณ๓ ฃ๓ ด๓ ฟโ๏ธโ
scottishigloos.com
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had to reset my battle.net password and forgot the answer to my security question, ended up talking in a live help chat
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A guy called "Greg" pretending to be from HMRC tried to scam me & steal my bank details, so I've made a video of the whole thing
Greg mate, if you're out there, you will regret trying to scam me...
His number is 07538981135
Full video here on YouTube: piped.video/JVm6Bth8xD0
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I'm officially issuing a challenge to IDLES @IDLESband
come to scotland and fight me 5 on 1
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My mum just shouted me into her room at 6AM to show me an impression of my dad (who she is divorced from) ordering a mixed grill
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when pamela the head dinner lady came round the classes in P6 to see what meals/desserts folk would want added in dinner hall, i said salmonella by accident (meant semolina) and lost all my golden time
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So beyonce is having twins huh.. wonder what their names will be hmm.. perhaps "Harry potter" and "Ron" haha... just joking, good luck B xxx
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LEWIS CAPALDI'S URGENT APPEAL TO THE UK GOVERNMENT:
BRING BACK CAPITAL PUNISHMENT/THE DEATH PENALTY IN THE UNITED KINGDOM (UNDER EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES)
PLEASE RETWEET AND SHARE TO SPREAD AWARENESS!
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(Scottish Winnie the Pooh)
Pooh: whereโs ma honey
Piglet: a dropped it down the pan mate
Pooh: aw nawww man. Am gutted
Eeyore: Here am heavy depressed
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Prince Philip hitting a para after a bucket
๐ธ: Prince Philip leaves King Edward VIIโs Hospital in London after a one-month stay. abcn.ws/30PIe8p
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The man on the left is Kurt Cobain, but you already knew that. Who's the man on the right? I'll tell you: This man is Harrick Newsted, a Warner Bros exec who wrote ALL of Nirvana's songs. Media would have you believe they were a "punk" band, but they were as corporate as it gets.
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This is my new band, it's one of they shite scottish festival bands that all talk like this "we're sgoddidge"
we're extremely rich soundcloud.com/cooljinzo/eveโฆ
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Making a new version of Lent called โMental Lentโ where you just have the best month ever
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Rowan Atkinson (in the role of mr bean, breaking character mid-take): sorry, I donโt think mr bean would do that. He wouldnโt just walk past the banana peel on his way to the car. I think he would slip on it
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Imagining a guy dead at his computer desk with the "spongebob is gay" TMZ article open, screen dotted with blood, and his gun slowly slides off the desk and when it hits the ground it goes off again and shoots him up the arse, causing his body to jolt forward and kiss the screen
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