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I said “should I kiII myself?” in an improv class yesterday after my character found out someone ate his thanksgiving leftovers and NOBODY laughed
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I hate gay Halloween. What do you mean you’re stressed out Hayao Miyazaki?
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The Grammy’s were a little TOO good this year…. one last pup cup before we get put down.
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One time I reheated this for a thanksgiving potluck I was invited to (I was the only Asian) and I told everyone I made it from scratch using a family recipe passed down generations and they all went OOOOOOOOO 😲😲😲 I’m Korean btw.
i must yet again inform the class that the trader joe’s orange chicken is not only delicious, it’s also 100g+ of protein for 5 dollars
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Why’d I assume 401K meant you’d have to save at least $401,000 by the time your 60 to live the rest of your life comfortably?
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a career defining performance and she’s not even 10 yet… let that sink in
𝓡𝓓
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Whole friend group addicted to vapes except me nitter.app/invis4yo/status/174962…
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Rhinoplasty, cheek implants, chin implant, buccal fat removal, botox, eye lift, liposuction and BBL
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Me and the long distance friend giving the life update news report over a 4 hr ft
Team Ariana
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Fighting for your life on the toilet and you look back and it’s just a pebble
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idc what the actual lyrics are… what I heard was “BOOTS! thats my ego boost…” @zaralarsson
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About Music
I brought up how I didn’t understand the concept of networking because it feels disingenuous to a dinner full of executive assistants and they all got real quiet
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Any good substitutes you know of for creating fake fried chicken? Genuinely curious. I’ve tried jackfruit and the texture was so cool. I’ve also heard mochi and rice flour to make bacon
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Had no job so I applied to job got the job and now I have to do the job nitter.app/akiraeviI/status/18454…
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Alasterlian 🇨🇦🫡
Signed up to donate to a sperm clinic for shits and gigs and they rejected my application bc there isn’t a high enough demand for my physical attributes 💀💀💀 really fucked around and found out
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What can I say Im a trendsetter
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The director said “let’s make dune!” but Timmy heard “make me goon” and went with it
Vogues’ Best
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zade
Haters will be haters! but you know who I won’t be? A hater for Little Caesar’s new Crazy Puffs®️they’re just THAT crazy good!
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Sometimes ur not meant to participate in discourse about the validity of a queer POC’s talent in an industry that’s systematically tokenized/othered people like him. Joking that it’s due to blackmail is, unforch, a microaggression! Ah!! C u at the back of the line at Animal 🫶🏻
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Making a nice meal for myself after reading my 103rd job rejection email
Ichigo Niggasake
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NBA
My ex in high school cheated on me with the one on the right (he didn’t know) and honestly can’t blame my ex. Anyways, yall are cute!
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me trying to impress Hamilton trade
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I get her bc I always scoop my peanut butter out with a spoon but when I found imprints of a fork one day… I yelled at my roommates in the gc
Shakira deduced Piqué was cheating on her after she returned from traveling to find that her strawberry jam was eaten.
Piqué has never eaten jam in his life.
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