30 | bi (she/her) | 18+ | Affiliate of Twitch 🫡 | cover photo by @GabyCVenegas | ‼️ this user hates Gen AI ‼️ 🇵🇸

SLC
oh so we did forget
BREAKING: Republicans are introducing legislation to abolish the TSA.
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gotta hand it to them, this is interesting as fuck
Ultrasonic waves produced by bats might occasionally disrupt the autofocus of cameras, resulting in this effect
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this truly is one of the most iconic videos and I will never not watch it
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we’re kind of focused on other things at the moment
Who remembers when I got this crazy sunburn in Mexico
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for those of you working from home or are in quarantine, and who have pets, tell me what they have been doing most recently but refer to them as your co-worker
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I’m fucking bawling my eyes out
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I need to step back and think about things for a second
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I need to get laid so bad but I don’t want to
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wait it was Charlie Kirk lol
my brother just watched someone get shot in the chest at his university, holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck I can’t stop shaking. 2 of my 3 brothers are there rn holy fuck I cannot breathe
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my co-worker won’t stop screaming at me, I know she’s probably still hungry, but I just gave her food
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“what about the flu” what ABOUT the flu. I get a vaccine for that shit too. you fucking used bandaid
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would anyone be surprised if I told you this was a couple from Utah? because it is
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Replying to @fuddrankus
it lets me know who is a little bitch
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day 51 since sex: I’ve started to drive on the rumble strips on the side of the freeway just to feel something
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Kyle and I ordered Taco Bell for dinner and I unironically said “babe you’ve barely touched your Baja Blast, is everything okay” without even realizing what I was saying
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Replying to @Actualfacts0nly
I’m honored you think I have a stud :’)
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why are people mad at me lmao this is a joke
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having a crush on a man makes you do weird shit. like what the fuck am I doing on Reddit 😭
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I can honestly say my hair is not naturally purple
Replying to @aubviouslynot
Did you die your hair or did it change naturally?
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I am so sad that this has as many likes as it does. it sounds good? he’s cute? and talented???? what’s wrong with y’all. what do you gain?
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it is now illegal in Utah for groups of 10 or more people to be gathered together in one area. so Mormon families are illegal in public now
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HR! HR! HR!
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blowjobs popsicle 🤝 bite it
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I don’t know, I wasn’t there
In six words, what's the drunkest you've ever been? bit.ly/2t5NDWL
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my first night in Seattle, I was moving in a bunch of stuff and Kyle went “hey hey hey, stop for a second” so I was like “??? oh okay” and he pulled me in for a hug and said “you’re home, you’re done. you did it” and I just broke down like holy shit, I did it
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Replying to @rudy_mustang
I love that he still fucking does it lmao
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Replying to @eelsfeels
mood
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Replying to @ShoodTheDude
yup. different spot. different font.
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incredible joke wow
The Flintstones' trip to the Grand Canyon predicted this.
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I went to pick up food for work and when I said the order was under my name, the girl at the register yelled “Aubrey’s here!” and the whole kitchen went “yay!” and I weirdly needed that :’)
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text your significant other “I have an crush on you” and reply with the screenshot
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THEYRE ACTUALLY IN THE BAD PLACE????????????????!
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friend: I’m busy this weekend but I’m free in two weekends if you want to hang! me: oh, I’ll be out of town then and then I’ll be in Seattle for 10 days the weekend after friend: so I guess we’ll hang out in November..?? me: this is what being an adult means I guess
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for those of you who have trouble working out but still manage, what are some weird ways you trick your brain into giving into it? how do you make yourself work out without realizing that you are? if that makes sense. I want to start being physical but *real* workouts are hard
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I did it!!! I went one full day without a drop of alcohol!!!!
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Replying to @knobbyttv
omg same, 60¢ and she looked at me like I should be bouncing up and down lmao
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I AM SO FUCKING STUPID OH MY GOD I JUST DROWNED MY QUESADILLA BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE PLATE WOULD FLOAT CAUSE I WAS GRABBING SOMETHING AND I DONT KNOW WHY I DID BUT I LOST MY QUESADILLA IN THE BATH THAT IS IT I AM ENDING IT
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I don’t think this happened in Spider-Man
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just LEAVE the relationship, holy shit
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to everyone who asked me if I’m okay absolutely not :) but thank you for your concern ♥️
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I just realized I haven’t had my period in like 3 months and my dumbass wasn’t even fucking concerned about it. like damn bitch, you could’ve been pregnant
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I get that people don’t want to give people anxiety but giving Twitter these “text formats” is far more anxiety ridden then “can we talk?” honestly. like “are you in a space where I can hurt you?” I promise you that I’m not. fucking weird
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I’m sad to say I honestly cannot tell if this is real or not
There will never be a funnier President lmao
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everyone on here seems a lot hornier than normal this month. is mercury in gatorade again?
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I haven’t been able to stop thinking about “RN!?!?!” all day
Please don’t ever text my phone like this and think I’ll be serious.
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I wonder how easy it is to bite the head off of someone’s dick
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I hate a quiet man during sex. that is the only time I want to hear you
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me: *takes 1 shot* my libido: you should drive 13 hours to fuck your boyfriend just for the fun of it
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does anyone else have a fear that they’re accidentally gonna post a nude when going to post a picture on twitter without realizing? or in text? or send a nude to the wrong person on snapchat by accidentally clicking on their name? I’m just scared all the time I think
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it’s so stressful picking a good song to make my drug dealer think I’m cool for the 15 seconds he is in my car
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my boyfriend responded with “lmao” to a tweet I shared with him as if I could not see him. and he certainly did not laugh his ass off. lying ass bitch
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even with just a silly picture, you can see it in his eyes
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boyfriend: hey do u wanna go to the grocery store with me? me: REALLY? :D
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Replying to @KylePlantEmoji
in all fairness, working with you is exhausting
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I didn’t know you could find live rotisserie chicken
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I made a sobriety goal to not drink until July 4th. today is July 4th and I have no desire to break my streak. tomorrow will be 3 weeks for me :) almost made it to a month
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I’m so sick of everything being over $5. everything should be $5 or less. ridiculous
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I’m a little over 2 weeks sober from Taco Bell. I see the bell and hear the gong in my dreams. I miss her. Oh, and I guess 2 weeks sober from alcohol too.
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my vagina is so rude for having a period during this global pandemic read the ROOM
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I was at the liquor store and a guy yelled at me from across the parking lot “are u alone this valentines? come home with me if u want!” while his friends laughed and said “no thanks! I have a boyfriend!” and said “well I don’t see him!” and I said “who cares! u ugly!” and I ran
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I remember the first time I watched the Office, thinking I wanted my own Jim. and then as I got older, I realized that I wanted someone who stood up for me when people around me sexually harassed me or insulted me
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