Designer. Delinquent. Demigod. I make things better.
Emerald City, Oz
- Tweets 97,877
- Following 2,911
- Followers 3,123
- Likes 351,431
Pinned Tweet
Sometimes twitter is like diving into a cool pool on a hot summers day.
Other times a nice warm bath. Nice people. Nice vibe.
Sometimes it's like jumping into the surf. Fun if you know how to swim.
More often it's like sharing a spa with 12 strangers and a floating band aid.
25
29
213
30,754
If Sam Kerr gets arrested and thrown in a UK prison for two years for calling some stupid white bastard a stupid white bastard can we please for the love of God use it as justification to become a republic?
601
278
2,990
208,851
It's weird how someone who is the spitting image of Lex Luthor appears to be the most decent person in Australian politics at the moment. 🤔
#AfternoonBriefing
75
156
1,743
35,404
Look at ALDI playing it safe and hedging all bets like a coward.
Pick a team and commit FFS!
141
122
1,733
54,709
Huh. We export gas to Japan who can make money by exporting it again to others... 🤔 We will likely end up buying back our own gas. We will do this rather than ensure we reserve our own gas from export for domestic use.
Who fucked this up so much? And why is still like this?
156
184
1,110
44,602
While we do have the lion's share, the existence of Senator Ralphie Babet is a timely reminder that not all faux christian, conservative, dim witted, Andrew Tate loving, science denying, narcissistic fucking idiot politicians are from Queensland.
@senatorbabet #auspol
107
150
992
34,353
How the fuck does Israel have the right to occupy Gaza City, let alone make decisions about it like they already have?
And why is nobody stopping this?
158
169
1,120
30,168
I hope someone makes a movie of your life one day soon Mr Nissan™ and they get Liam Neeson to play you.
It will blow the MAGAts minds.
26
38
1,092
8,293
I've still yet to find anyone whose power bill has increased by $1,300. Why is no one calling him on this? 🤔
#auspol @PeterDutton_MP @abcnews
232
245
1,071
30,821
Oh this will break the brains of a lot of people...
"Gillard to chair new multi-billion dollar energy fund targeting wind, solar and batteries." reneweconomy.com.au/?p=20612…
104
197
895
23,509
Hey @BreakfastNews why don't you replay that clip of Saul Eslake on afternoon briefing who said to calm the fuck down about the economy and stop using panicked rhetoric rather than hearing from fuckwits like Jane Hume or Angus Taylor?
(Mr Eslake did not use those actual words)
22
230
928
10,824
Well we call them Tasmanians, and they're ok. If one makes it in we just clean them up, measure & tag them then send them back home.
We think it's the lights that attract them.
Does Australia receive illegal immigrants from its southern boarder like how the USA receives from its southern border ?
68
73
853
56,403
Someone explain to me like I'm a 5 year old normal person who doesn't live in the United States so doesn't understand such a backward and confusing election process how a known grifter like Donald Trump can possibly still be eligible to become an elected leader of the country.
286
115
816
66,723
While the whole world goes mad and we get to watch the United States of America unravel in real time on social media here's a friendly reminder that the Fonze is out there just posting photos of the trout he catches.
I have never seen a man so happy. ☺️
@hwinkler4real
27
76
949
14,532
Nationals want nuclear power.
Gina Rinehart tells Nationals they want nuclear power.
Nuclear power requires uranium.
Gina Rinehart owns uranium mines.
Gina Rinehart tells Nationals they want nuclear power.
Nationals want nuclear power.
#auspol
69
313
753
21,090
South Australia locks in federal funds to become first grid in world to reach 100 per cent net wind and solar reneweconomy.com.au/?p=20987…
115
182
757
27,910
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, Australian senator Ralph "squeaky toy" Babet is a fucking idiot. A bloated, bile spitting clown in tight clothing.
@senatorbabet
117
99
746
16,114
If the shooter didn't fire, and the apparent target wasn't even meant to be there, he just happened to decide to be there, then, on that day (🤔) can it really be called an assassination attempt?
Asking for a bored and skeptical planet.
59
104
714
14,720
The recent events in Bondi aren't a reason to strengthen the police force or even consider allowing shopping mall security to be armed.
It's a deafening klaxon bleating at us to fix and bolster how we handle mental health in this country.
We don't seem to be doing a great job.
64
127
689
19,576
Fun Fact.
Did you know that the catholic church owns more than $30 billion worth of property in Australia and is exempt from almost all forms of taxation, and has minimal public accountability?
(This was back in 2018. There might have been some movement in the market since then)
121
209
682
25,525
Has anyone warned that Italian porn artist that Australia is about to have an election?
#IYKYK
36
41
776
30,099
The biggest crime here is that @senatorbabet isn't even a big enough target for a cancel culture pile on. A nobody.
He is a bloated squeaky toy. He is a fucking wanker.
themusic.com.au/news/tenacio…
62
69
635
14,122
Neat. Spotted in Oz.
Look at the width of this brick. People can't park well in regular cars, what's going to happen with this you reckon?
327
54
655
107,819
Cunning as I am I'm no linguist but why doesn't "anti-islamic" carry the same gravitas or weight as "anti-semitic" appears to? 🤔
72
107
706
11,975
Still kinda cool that the most outlandish thing our head of government does is wear a Joy Division T-Shirt.
54
72
718
14,393
The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood he was one of them.
- Turkish Proverb
11
139
611
9,899
Australia nuclear facility installs massive rooftop solar system to save $2 million reneweconomy.com.au/?p=20291…
77
166
539
29,462
I really don't want to make light of these blokey blokes deciding on what Queensland women should be doing with their bodies and wanting to repeal abortion laws but will you take a look at the size of Bob Katter's hat? It's fucking huge.
#qldpol
199
79
545
19,200
Trumpet of Patriots
Kazoo of Ineptitude
Bongo of Bogan
Keytar of Kunts
Triangle of Twats
Bagpipe of Bile
Spoons of Stupidity
Flute of Flatulence
Harpsichord of Hate
Theremin of Taint
Xylophone of Xenophobia
Tin-whistle of Idiots
#auspol
115
144
601
14,870
If you want the ABC torn down because of shows like Speersie's #Insiders or dumbed down @BreakfastNews or think privatisation is the fix please stop & realise great programs like @4corners expose on supermarket profiteering would never happen elsewhere. Never on a commerical one.
43
102
495
7,403
Melissa Clarke should be the only journalist allowed to do Afternoon Briefing. Ever.
Intelligent. Hard to rattle and SHE FUCKING QUESTIONS THE PERSON BEING INTERVIEWED LIKE AN ACTUAL JOURNALIST rather than just letting them talk shit.
#afternoonbriefing @abcnews @Clarke_Melissa
27
119
510
6,567
So the USA can't produce enough of their own beef so buy our superior Aussie beef because we produce far more than we need ourselves (x3) but due to tariffs we may export less to them (and more to others) and US citizens will pay more for their burgers, who wins here?
#tariffs
91
90
558
28,858
Reports are in that the bullet nicked one of Former President Trump's ear but made a clean exit out the other.
Too soon?
60
43
468
11,385
FFS @M_McCormackMP whining on ABC because the countryside is littered with solar "factories" & turbines stealing scarce farm land even tho agriculture can exist in harmony with these things but has no issues with gas wells locking farmers out and poisoning water tables. 🤔#auspol
18
190
520
5,518
Gina Rinehart says renewable energy could use one-third of Australia’s prime agricultural land. Is she right?
Of course not. She's just a greedy fucking idiot.
theguardian.com/australia-ne…
63
79
414
10,642
New Zealand huh? You think you know a country... 🤔
Shifty as bro.
Community note
Images of such a post circulating appear to have been falsified. The post, also denigrating "Lyin' Chuck Schumer" and "Alex Soros (Little Georgie)", was not present on Trump's Truth Social account and Google hadn't indexed a post like that at the time of writing.
leadstories.com/hoax-alert/202
67
55
468
18,787
Oh well. I hope the buffalo is ok.
"Millionaire gored to death by 'crafty and belligerent' African buffalo he was hunting." rawstory.com/asher-watkins-r…
30
31
482
10,603
I reckon it was the wind.
Energy Safe Victoria will conduct an investigation into the collapse of transmission towers at Anakie.
The Energy Minister has met with AEMO and the private distribution networks to discuss what more can be done to improve energy resilience #springst
96
38
374
22,485
Why did the Pope say that Ukraine should peacefully accept defeat to Russia and not say that Russia should peacefully retreat from invading Ukraine?
111
61
379
17,195
Let me get this right, Netanyahu starts in the north, forcing Palestinians to flee south as he turns it into rubble & dust and now Netanyahu wants the terrified survivors to escape back to the rubble of the north so he can destroy the south?
Ideologies aside, that's fucked up.
54
98
349
8,922
lol. No he wasn't. That sex trafficking rapist ain't gonna sleep with you Mr Interrupted but you keep on championing the dip shit and one of his other sycophants might.
There are heaps of us that have never exploited a woman champ. Never even crosses our minds.
2
4
395
6,494
Former PM Scott Morrison will give his final address to Parliament. Time will also be given to Scott Morrison Minister for Health, Scott Morrison Minister for Finance, Scott Morrison Minister for Industry, Energy & Resources & Scott Morrison Minister for Home Affairs & Treasury.
66
77
359
15,458
I reckon the 9 other cafes on either side of it and the dozen or so across the road will pick up the slack.
Cash strapped Australians are ditching lattes and breakfasts out with cafes around the country bearing the brunt of the belt-tightening.
New research predicts one in ten will shut its doors for good next year. @ChrisKohler #9News
60
44
391
17,498
Because of his age all you've done is broken his heart and taught him dad's a prick. Posting this 'life lesson' for the likes just shows the rest of us you're a dick. Super dad.
This kid saved up all week for an ice cream.
Spent $5.
Dropped it after the 5th lick.
I didn’t buy him another one.
Life is hard, he took it well.
47
17
351
17,717
Is Israel aware of how the rest of the world now views them?
Has anyone in Israel considered how things will be after the dust settles and the screams stop?
I'm fairly certain any global sympathy or slim justification for retaliation ended several thousand missile strikes ago.
64
87
316
7,085
Christ, getting Barnaby on TV on Anzac Day arvo is risky yeah? He needs another chest for those medals.
As PK lets him ramble on unquestioned as she does he's surprisingly managed to say China is circling Oz looking for undersea cables to cut without slurring. #afternoonbriefing
107
66
381
18,521
Composed and compassionate response from Jacinda Ardern. I use to remember a time where we held those same beliefs here in Australia, sad how far we've fallen... #auspol #nzpol #christchurch
14
111
284
This dude does not respect your side mirrors. Or doors. Or space required to get in and out of your car. Or you in general.
91
35
351
14,906
About 6 mths ago this 18yr old decided he wanted to dabble in music. While working part time and studying at uni he taught himself guitar with youtube then formed a band with some musos from high school. Tonight they had their first paid gig.
I'm waiting on him to buy me a car.
40
9
328
4,483
Hey @BreakfastNews, no disrespect to our Jewish community but I'm a little over hearing their opinions over absolutely every other community in Australia constantly. Either tone it down a smidge please or add some balance and let me hear about other communities that call Oz home.
5
56
335
3,442
If your cafe or restaurant ONLY has a Facebook page instead of a website you're pissing me off and have lost my business.
41
10
289
6,997
I'm getting hints of cat piss and chicken salt with a lingering vinegar aftertaste.
60
43
274
15,794
A reminder that Ted O'Brien is the Shadow Minister for Climate Change and Energy. #auspol
Ted O’Brien left looking silly as The Aust. Institute’s Rod Campbell tries to explain how Storage works with Renewables
Campbell “when it’s not raining outside, our taps still turn on water”
O’Brien asks how many dams are needed🤦♂️
Campbell “That was an analogy, deputy chair”🤣
33
90
282
6,072
The fuck it is.
"Magpie swooping is actually pretty rare." abc.net.au/news/2024-06-24/m…
69
14
264
9,390
Does anyone know what the carry-on weight limit is for the rapture?
#rapture2025
66
18
314
8,662
Seeing a lot of tweets from Americans trying to make "retard" an insult towards another again. It's a horrible word, a slur once used to describe someone with an intellectual disability.
Things could be described as retarded, but if you call someone a retard you're just a cunt.
30
23
296
7,164
Each and every day I sit and wonder if the U.S. could get anymore fucked up and each and every day it shows me it can.
Three U.S. states have introduced bullet vending machines at grocery stores to sell ammunition.
American Rounds manufactures these kiosks, which operate 24/7. Users select their desired ammunition on a touchscreen, scan their ID, and collect the bullets from the machine.
44
50
245
9,212
Thankfully Australia's approach to "stopping the boats" never involved blowing them out of the water with missiles. 🤔
27
40
295
4,853
I don't even know why we even sell dark roofing in Australia.
City of Cockburn to call for blanket ban on dark coloured roofing materials at 2024 National General Assembly.
perthnow.com.au/local-news/c…
39
34
222
6,784
Rich man says what?
"Gerry Harvey says businesses should pass on cost increases through higher prices despite RBA's inflation warning." abc.net.au/news/2023-11-30/h…
127
54
220
11,765
Could $1 billion actually bring solar manufacturing back to Australia? It’s worth a shot. reneweconomy.com.au/?p=20409…
170
55
238
10,644
A friendly reminder not to call out mutuals that may be following accounts that you think they shouldn't be or shouldn't engage with.
People can follow accounts and not like/condone/agree with them. They can follow them because it's sometimes better to know what they're doing.
28
14
242
9,322
Look like you're in a shared meeting room of any serviced office on the planet Ralphie.
Leftards don't rate you at all, though the fashion police might.
Were denim leotards on men every really in?
@senatorbabet
115
21
221
11,787
How effective is Trump's legal team going to be once it dawns on them they're not going to get paid?
17
29
221
4,334
Now if I was a cynical & opinionated arsehole, not just an opinionated arsehole, and taking into account how low this toejam can go, I'd be wondering if this little grab at sympathy and the revelation he was medicated will somehow form part of a mercy plea in the future. #auspol
62
45
224
7,642
I will remember this day as the day the 47th President of the United States, Donald J Trump, signed with sharpie, broadcast live to the world, an executive order undoing a ban on plastic straws stating "paper straws explode" and that plastic straws "aren't going to bother sharks"
26
61
260
11,396
There are currently two types of people in Brisbane. One type is panic buying, taping windows and filling their bathtubs with drinking water. The other is just dismissively ignoring things with comments like "it's only a category two" and "I hope they don't cancel the footy".
37
21
249
17,713
My EV Test Drive recap. 🧵
We had almost 30 to test drive from these makers. Audi, BMW, BYD, Cupra, Genesis, GMW, Hyundai, KIA, Mercedes, MG, Polestar, Tesla, Volvo & VW. There were also EV trucks for us to test but we didn't bother. I drove all except the MG's & GMW.
37
34
210
47,288
