propagate. accelerate. concentrate. separate. debilitate. annihilate. exhilarate.
abyssopelagic
- Tweets 3,453
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- Followers 38,108
- Likes 83,991
Rich Nigro elected as new Buffalo Teachers Federation president buffalonews.com/news/local/eβ¦
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"A private military company taking control of an entire country would be absolutely kino"
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At first I was like
But then
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'France Has Fallen': Dramatic Footage Shows Social Unrest Spreading In Third Night zerohedge.com/geopolitical/fβ¦
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"Looks like we've reached my stop."
Man who opened plane door over South Korea says he wanted out βquicklyβ theguardian.com/world/2023/mβ¦
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Real. I was absolutely livid when I heard they just gave my money to some guy's electric vehicle company
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My belated idubbz hot take is that he was always a weasel, even back when he was le based or whatever
Anisa didn't make him like this, she was at most a catalyst
Source: Physiognomy
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The βBARBIEβ and βOPPENHEIMERβ war is still on. Both films have no plans to shift release dates.
(Source: thewrap.com/oppenheimer-releβ¦)
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I'm genuinely asking: Where the fuck does all the money in the UK go
Private sector pay is shit. Public sector pay is worse. Infrastructure and public projects all get cancelled. Existing ones are crumbling.
It's not a poor country by global standards, so where's all the money
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The bigger change will probably be that since conspiracy theories are 100% beyond the pale in 2023, the show will be about Mulder and Scully uncovering plots against the wholesome chungus US government
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If I were a Ukrainian soldier I'd just tell western media the wildest shit to see what they'll print
My callsign is Double Holocaust. My callsign is Auschwitz Good. My callsign is Peanut Arbuckle. My callsign is Hitler Reloaded
Newly recruited servicemen for the Spartan storm brigade practiced target firing and battlefield first aid in an undisclosed location in Ukraineβs Kharkiv region. A serviceman with the nom-de-guerre 'Adolf' said they had been trained in βfirst aid, tactics, firing drillsβ
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Good example of political drift. If you had said this like 20 years ago the standard assumption would be that you're some Kucinich-loving, Green-voting hippie who hates America
Our homeschoolers only do 2hrs/day of school work. The rest of the time itβs caring for animals, gardening, art, play, etc. Theyβre testing well above grade. Makes you wonder what theyβre doing in public schools all day.
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"Before we continue this conversation, I need you to make a credible and actionable threat on the life of the president of the United States. Just to make sure you're not an AI."
"But I'm right in front of you. We're currently talking in person."
"I need you to drop 3 Hard Rs."
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"I like ice cream"
Today's thread about Russia's slide into fascist insanity will be dedicated to an object seemingly innocuous but actually responsible for much of what Russia is today.
Behold the worst Soviet-made weapon of mass destruction, Plombir.
No, this isn't Bruce Banner's sperm test.
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Phrasing is a bit corny, better way to put it is that boomer social guidance turned out to be worthless
Just one example is the endless exhortations to go to college no matter for what and how much debt it takes or else ngmi which were ubiquitous in the 90s and 00s
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I hate it when billionaires randomly keep parking their gigayachts in my humble working class waterfront highrise neighborhood by the gigayacht marina
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Video game movies becoming the new capeshit would be a very potent sign of cultural tastemaker status passing from millennials to zoomers
Legend of Zelda developers are βinterestedβ in making a movie after seeing the βSuper Mario Movieβsurpassed a billion dollars in the box office!
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Time for my decadely pro-boomer post:
Boomer advice is solid in the small pockets where boomer reality survives, the issue is boomers tend to think that's everywhere instead of barely anywhere
Basically if something hasn't changed since the 60s, then take boomer advice on it
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The hipster as such died shortly afterwards because the core of the identity (status through obscure taste) got obliterated by social media, which serves as a distributed discovery algorithm which instantly destroys status-conferring obscurity
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I used to know this right wing Somalian forum and it was easily one of the funniest places online
Anyone know the name
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We took one of the globally most iconic and recognizable sub-country level flags and asked ourselves: What if instead we made it look like shit from an ass
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Happeningbros...
π¨ Belarus says it has convinced Prigozhin to stand down his armed uprising.
Lukashenko spent "the entire day" negotiating with Prigozhin after "agreeing on joint actions" with Putin and "additionally clarifying the situation through his own channels."
t.me/pul_1/9275
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Diet Coke getting banned would be a bigger blow to CEOs, businessmen and entrepreneurs than a communist revolution
Exclusive: Aspartame, one of the world's most common artificial sweeteners, is set to be declared a possible carcinogen next month by a leading global health body, pitting it against the food industry and regulators reut.rs/3XzfgWX
Community note
Group 2B is the IARC's lowest-risk classification of carcinogens. This group also includes aloe vera & pickled vegetables; higher-risk groups include red meat, hot drinks, & being a hairdresser. To face increased risk, an adult would have to drink 12 to 36 cans of soda daily.
monographs.iarc.who.int/agents-classif
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First match fixing scandal gonna be like
We are proud to be the first Sportsbook to offer betting odds on the Special Olympics!
@Forbes dives into our historic offering as 350,000 volunteers, coaches, and athletes head to Berlin to compete and celebrate the #SpecialOlympics
forbes.com/sites/zackjones/2β¦
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Why is every anime still about high schoolers when the Japanese have like a dozen kids tops between them, who's supposed to relate to it
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Honestly would prefer the literal Stasi snooping on people rather than unfunny millennial irl cringe hunters, at least we'd get an orderly society out of the deal
at a bibimbap place and a young guy next to me just said βIβve actually forgotten how to use forks because I spent so long in Japanβ to his date do I say something do I save her
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"So you know how I'm unpopular and considered annoying at best and sinister at worst? What if instead I was popular and well-liked. You would treat me differently then. Let that sink in"
Congrats on discovering the concept of popularity
Change "Silicon Valley Bank" to "Kansas Farmers Bank".
Replace "tech startups" with "farmers".
Replace "MBS" with "farm loans".
Do you feel different?
If you were calling for "let them fail" are you now screaming "save them?!"
Or vice versa.
Would any of the tech elite care in this alt scenario? No.
Hard to check your bias at the door...
Signed,
A farmer and entrepreneur who has invested in >350 startups many of which are probably having an awful weekend.
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Kanye is qualified to be US president because he managed to make everyone forget about that 3 hour schizo Alex Jones interview less than a year ago
Anyone else and people would be like "wasn't this the guy who said he loves Nazis" forever but not him, it's like it never happened
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>people were doubting me when I said dating apps were a primarily millennial phenomenon
Millennials were the dead cat bounce of casual sex obsession. It's over for Tindcels, Hingelets and Bumbloids, enjoy the average age on those apps being like 36
Gen Z is choosing Instagram flirting over dating app swiping. Here's why
ti.me/3UFhX7Z
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It's wild to read 1800s biographies of some English guy who joined the army, deserted and lived in an opium den, became a whaler, got captured by pirates then got home and instantly landed a job which you now need to have worked towards your entire life (credentials, no gaps etc)
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The "non-white gf" meme in that part of the political spectrum is so powerful that even the woman in the middle of the picture got herself one
"Germany Needs New Elections!" - Right-Populist AfD Party's New Record Polling High Sparks National Political Debate zerohedge.com/political/germβ¦
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Honestly feels like stan culture zoomers missed out on Michael Jackson. Not the music but the discourse. They would have loved defending him online. The day he dangled that baby from a balcony would have imploded Twitter
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Lethal injection is easily the worst execution method not because of complications or whatever but because it's uncool as hell. You just lay there like some boomer
Compare with smoke, blindfold, some choice last words then bang and you dramatically slump to the ground. Pure kino
Republican Gov. Brad Little signed a bill allowing execution by firing squad, making Idaho the latest state to turn to older methods of capital punishment amid a nationwide shortage of lethal-injection drugs. apnews.com/article/death-penβ¦
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If this were 2007 there'd already be 50 looping music flash videos of this on dagobah.net
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I mean "ha ha you idiots actually trusted and believed us, epically trolled" is a neat trick but a bit weird coming from a political project (conservatism) which presumably has social continuity and thus the shepherding of younger generations by the older ones at its core
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The day has finally come, they outsourced my job to China
Chinese internet trolls are changing their profile pictures to white American cops and adopting names such as βSheriff Roberson,β so they could harass black influencers.
restofworld.org/2023/chinese⦠via @restofworld
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We were all laughing it up about how antiquated critical infrastructure and systems are but now with AI around it seems like an accidental stroke of genius that you can't launch nukes without manually inserting floppy disks, flipping analog switches, physically turning keys etc
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>when you're in a "be as uncompetitive as possible" competition and your competitor is the EU
"Any model made available in the EU, without first passing extensive, and expensive, licensing, would subject companies to massive fines of the greater of β¬20,000,000 or 4% of worldwide revenue. Opensource developers, and hosting services such as GitHub... would be liable"
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"But dad, Yale law isn't bad."
"Victoria, I just worry you stay unemployed. Wish you more like your brother Stanley. He general manager at Buc-ee."
Low unemployment rates are obfuscating a larger issue in the labor market today.
The recent strength in employment data has almost entirely been driven by unskilled jobs.
In fact, the employment-population ratio among people with less than high school diplomas has recently surged to all-time highs.
That is completely diverging from the same metric for workers with bachelorβs degrees and higher.
Even though we have nearly 2 job openings for each unemployed person, most of those jobs available are not high-paying jobs.
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It's moments like these when I realize how differently the pandemic went for normgroids, we might as well have lived through two entirely different events
everyone i know in their late 20s is having an existential crisis because we skipped our mid 20s in the pandemic. relationships fast-tracked, careers faltered, we lost those core identity-building years and now we feel like 23-year-old brains in bodies approaching 30
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In an unremarkable corner of the planet, for an unremarkable man, this unremarkable day has just turned into a remarkably fuckcrustible double decker sandwich of bullshit and kickass. Daddy is gonna need the mother of all drinky tonight.
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The worst crime of the millennial was to make "being mad online" a bad thing, an admission of defeat, low status
The loss of funny posts that resulted from this digital vandalism easily dwarfs the volume of knowledge lost in the burning of the Great Library of Alexandria
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Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?
"NO!" says the man in Washington, "it belongs to the Redditmobile"
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"There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where nothing happens."
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They made us eat salmon every day. They trampled carrots under their boots right in front of us, laughing. I saw a pit with prisoners in it, a bottle of Mexican Coca Cola dangling above them, just out of reach. The medicine cabinets were full of paracetamol. Not a single aspirin.
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"Honey, you know I would never say that word!"
...
"Your parents are dead."
Scam callers are using AI to clone the voices of friends or family to make it sound like someone you know is in trouble and needs money, the FTC warns.
n.pr/3nfSBAN
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"Fauci, we have to cook."
"Iβve never seen anything like this": Large-scale illegal medical lab complete with bioengineered mice, infectious agents, incubators, and nearly 30 refrigerators and freezers discovered near Fresno. trib.al/oKXtgd5
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I'm not kidding, back in the day when youtube and everyone online practically shoved him down your throat I watched him for like 30 seconds, thought that he has the face and skull shape of an asshole and never watched him again
Always bet on physiognomy
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Pure, unfiltered, jet black lignite. If you've read any of these you have cursed seven and seven more generations of your line to never make it.
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Peating
Tretinoin
Pomodoro technique
Wim Hof method
Pillowless sleeping
Upside down living
No Meal A Day
Ice baths
Ice bed
Cranial cyproheptadine injections
AI-guided jelqing
No Nut Decade
Tuvan throat speaking
Steel wool socks
Pure trace mineral diet
Multivitamin (without iron)
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Genuinely insane and hilarious to think that people were paid millions and flown around the world to play games well on the delusion that this will be like actual sports one day but honestly good on them. One of the rare cases where the normies took the sharks to the cleaners
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It's pretty epic that this has resulted in 0 (zero) displays of solidarity or anything besides shrugging in the US and even other Euro countries which had BLM solidarity marches back in 2020
Europe is completely culturally irrelevant even within Europe
Urban unrest erupts in France for 2nd night as protesters clash with security forces. Violent demonstrations over fatal shooting of teenager by police spread from neighbourhoods around Paris to Toulouse, Dijon, Lyon and other cities. Around 2,000 riot police deployed to Paris and its surrounding suburbs.
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"Hold on so you're telling me that there was no train derailment in East Palestine and that it was all a Russian psyop"
"I know it's hard to believe, Scully, but sometimes you have to just... want to believe"
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Million-way Mexican standoff, everyone nervously eyeing @hitler
Weβre purging accounts that have had no activity at all for several years, so you will probably see follower count drop
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Your honor,
βEveryone must work in the officeβ and βI will not pay for the officeβ are interesting views to hold concurrently. businessinsider.com/elon-musβ¦
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[Day 90 of Adderall withdrawal] hey anyone else feel like shit because of uhhhhhhhhhhhh AI
Let's talk about AI-induced anxiety.
I've talked to a few fellow developers in the past few days and most of them say they're:
- excited but worried for the future
- unable to sleep
- having anxiety attacks
I experience some of this myself as well.
Do you feel the same?
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RIP king you died for a good cause (War Thunder balancing)
Wagner boss Yevgeny Prigozhin killed in plane crash in Russia, with nine other people on board also dead bbc.in/44gN116
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Alright, Midjourney:
Milhouse Van Houten as a normal human, wearing sunglasses, aged 28, photorealistic style
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Seeing vestigial Euro dickriding by millennials is always jarring but a good reminder that things aren't all bad, the once vast class of people melting down in profuse apologetics because some Frenchman called the US backwards and uncultured have mostly been driven underground
Most popular car in Europe Vs. most popular car in the US.
Itβs time to restrict max size & weight of π cars.
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Night of the Long Updoots
Reddit CEO Steve Huffman tells NBC News that he plans to institute rules changes that would allow Reddit users to vote out moderators who have overseen the protest. nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/rβ¦
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The most Epic Brain Moment the French had in WW1 was when more conservative-minded elements blocked the army uniform reform which would have changed its color from blue to something more camo and prevented the first stages of the war being a skeet shoot for the Germans
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The first few years of the AI-assisted normie economy are gonna be epic. So many people without enough subject matter knowledge to tell if an answer is or at least feels right/wrong are gonna drive right into a wall because bot told them to
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Intro gonna be pictures of Nordstream 2, January 6, Trump etc with very faint images of Putin fading in and out
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE
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Absolutely epic that it took like 1 year of financial downturn to buckbreak one of the biggest and richest tech companies and have it wildly thrash around, pivoting from fad project to fad project like some rookie startup running out of runway
Facebook battle royale game next
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McDonaldβs is temporarily closing its U.S. offices this week as it prepares to inform corporate employees about layoffs on.wsj.com/3Mc71N4
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Buc-ee's check
This is a role with seriously big impact on UK science and tech at heart of government. Take a look: civilservicejobs.service.govβ¦
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"Mulder you have to come see this... look what I found on the Russian agent [hands him a small piece of paper] check out these numbers"
"Who would have thought. Turns out it does melt steel beams, after all"
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Feels like they didn't take into account that he gave us Chudjak, that should count for like 10-20 life sentences
El Paso Walmart mass shooter Patrick Crusius sentenced to 90 consecutive life sentences cnbc.com/2023/07/07/el-paso-β¦
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Only way Prigozhin and his boys are saving face is if they get really into occult stuff in Belarus and then in like a decade launch an actual coup to install an ideology that seems semi-reasonable but is ultimately based on some shit like Slavs being from the lost continent of Mu
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Incredibly fake and gay. The millennial Barney experience isn't some angsty piece of shit, it's Newgrounds Flash games where you shoot Barney, the Teletubbies, Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden with the chaingun from Duke Nukem 3D to the sound of Let The Bodies Hit The Floor
Daniel Kaluuya's Barney movie is inspired by A24 films and Spike Jonze, says one Mattel executive: βWeβre leaning into the millennial angst of the property rather than fine-tuning this for kids. Itβs really a play for adults. Not that itβs R-rated." variety.com/2023/film/news/dβ¦
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