Yesterday was the worst day of my life and then the best day of my life… Worst because I thought I might lose my pregnant wife. Best because Carla and the baby survived and are stable. Thank you to everyone who sent their thoughts and prayers for Carla. It’s been an insane 24 hours… Carla is stable now and both she and the baby are okay, but it got really fucking bad really fast… Scariest day/night of my life… Carla is an absolute badass and at the beginning of the slow road to recovery, and I am so damn thankful. Posting this here for those who’ve been asking what happened: Carla started feeling weird yesterday afternoon after a nap. We were up all night with our son and had to take him to urgent care in the morning, so we were all resting before going to meet up with the family for Easter Sunday. When Carla woke up she had some back pain and was very clammy. She was a bit disoriented but still totally coherent. Within 10 minutes she was almost completely unresponsive. Barely conscious. Crazy disoriented. Hardly able to respond even with single words. Zero control of her body. Totally limp in my arms. Vomited. I called 911 immediately. Paramedics arrived and she was still barely responding and could barely open her eyes. When she did open her eyes she said she couldn’t see, her vision was black. They got her in an ambulance to the hospital. Her BP was insanely low in initial readings, like 55/38… got her to the hospital and BP remained dangerously low. About an hour she appeared to improve a little after multiple rounds of fluids. BP still super low but higher than before. She became lucid and ER staff thought she was stabilizing. She was shivering from the IV and had a bit of back and abdominal pain but it was manageable. They said we’d have to stay the night for monitoring but would be fine to go home tomorrow. But then she started having severe abdominal and back pain around her shoulder blades. Pain got to the point where she was screaming like crazy. “Worst pain of my life” (and she has an extremely high baseline pain tolerance). I’ve never seen her in such unrelenting agony like that… The pain kept getting worse and they did additional scans. The ultrasound showed a lot of fluid in her abdomen, likely blood. They started giving her massive blood transfusions and shortly said she needed surgery immediately. They thought it might be a ruptured ovarian cyst but wouldn’t know for sure until they opened her up. Got her into the OR about an hour after that. Doctor said surgery would take an hour… 2.5 hours in the OR the later the doctor finally came out and said Carla and baby were both OK, thank god… longest 2.5 hours of my life... It turns out they had to do a giant incision down her entire abdomen from too to bottom to find the source of the bleeding (because it was NOT her ovaries or uterus) and bring in a third surgeon who was on call. They removed **2+ liters** of blood from her abdominal cavity. For context, the average adult woman has about 4.5 liters of blood in their entire body… They had to remove her spleen because it had ruptured and was the source of the bleeding… the doctors described it as “battlefield medicine” because of the amount of blood in and out and how dicey things got… but thank god both she and the baby are ok. The doctor’s still don’t know why the spleen ruptured… it was a “non-traumatic” rupture, meaning there was no physical injury to the spleen which caused the rupture (~1 cm). It was a “spontaneous” rupture, which is quite rare apparently. They did note that the spleen was slightly enlarged but also not sure why yet. Waiting for pathology to see if that provides any answers. May have been contributing physiological/mechanical factors from pregnancy but we just don’t know yet. The reason her shoulder blades were in such intense pain was because blood from the spleen was pooling under her diaphragm, blood is an irritant, and apparently that triggers the phrenic nerve which the brain interprets as pain between and around the shoulder blades. Multiple surgeons said she was “this close”…thank god we didn’t waste any time. When one of the surgeons checked in on her today, he said she would have been “dead by midnight” without the emergency surgery and splenectomy… The doctors also all said this combination of circumstances is very rare. Spleens obviously burst all the time, but usually it’s directly related to intense trauma, which was absent here. They said this case is probably going to be in medical journals because it’s so strange. Carla is still in a lot of pain (we’re not even 24 hours out from the end of the surgery yet), but she’s handling it like an absolute champ. She was sedated and intubated with a ventilator until about 5AM this morning. This afternoon she was already able to get up and go walking multiple times. The pain is really bad, but should hopefully start lessening with each passing day. It’s going to be a long road to recovery, especially with pregnancy on top of it, but she and the baby are both OK and right now that’s all that matters. One step at a time. In typical @carlabitcoin fashion, she’s already been cracking jokes and trying to bribe the nurses. She even fired off a tweet while still a bit loopy from the sedatives but now she’s just trying to manage the pain. Thankful for the great doctors, nurses, and paramedics who saved her life and our baby. Thanks again to everyone who has reached out and sent their thoughts and prayers. I’m passing along your messages to Carla and they’re very much appreciated. This still doesn’t seem real. A normal day turned into a nightmare so damn fast… Hug your loved ones tight. Life is a gift. Don’t take it for granted.

This Trump-Eminem cut deserves a freaking award. I cannot imagine the countless hours it took to create this masterpiece…

6 YEARS AGO: Mark Zuckerberg discovered “smokin’ meats” and began his slow transition into an actual person.

BRÆKING: MASSIVE DRONE SHOW IN LUGANO SWITZERLAND DEEMED BETTER THAN CHINA AND WITH BETTER MEMES

How are you supposed to protect investors when you can’t even protect your Twitter account?

ISNT IT FUNNY THAT BIG BANKS ARE LITERALLY CRIMINAL ORGANIZATIONS WHO LAUNDER MONEY FOR DRUG CARTELS AND INSTEAD OF SHUTTING THEM DOWN AND PUTTING PEOPLE IN JAIL THEY JUST GET A FINE AND A SLAP ON THE WRIST AND KEEP DOING BUSINESS?

Alright who did this? Maybe the funniest thing I’ve seen all year 😂😂

How did we go from less than 1 in 1000 children with Autism to 1 in 36? What changed?

Here’s what’s going to happen: 1. Elon pushes Trump to audit Fort Knox. 2. Audit reveals there is less than 500 tons of gold. 3. Trump realizes China and Russia have way more gold than the U.S., but very little Bitcoin. 4. Trump issues EO for Strategic Bitcoin Reserve, citing national security. 5. Money printer goes BRRRRR and U.S. buys as much bitcoin as the market will sell. 6. Price of gold collapses in BTC terms. 7. China and Russia realize Trump got the jump on them and start trying to acquire Bitcoin. 8. Price of gold collapses further. 9. Peter Schiff is admitted to a mental hospital. Have a nice day.

Total Recall (1990) is not only an incredible film, it created the best GIFs of any movie ever made. Don’t believe me? Here is a thread with proof.

The interest on the federal debt is $1 TRILLION PER YEAR. So over the next 10 years, a 25% tax on billionaires would pay *6 months* of the federal debt… This isn’t a solution to anything. We need to fix the money.

Here’s what is going to happen: 1. @gamestop buys $5 billion worth of Bitcoin. 2. GameStop changes its name to “₿ Stop” and installs Bitcoin ATMs at all of its 4,170 stores worldwide, including 2,915 in the United States. 3. GameStop becomes #1 place to buy/sell non-KYC Bitcoin. 4. ATM fee revenue surpasses traditional game sale revenue. 5. GameStop hodls BTC from ATM fees, further increasing Bitcoin stack. 6. $GME rockets to $696 per share. 7. GameStop’s market cap is now greater than Wells Fargo. Cc @ryancohen

SEC Hack Timeline: 3:11 — @SECGov tweets all #Bitcoin ETFs are approved 3:26 — @GaryGensler says SEC account was hacked ~3:38 — SEC “regains control” of their account & deletes original tweet 3:42 — SEC tweets they were hacked & have not approved ETFs Something is fishy…

Why did you erase Obama from history?

Been in Italy 24 hours and have not seen a single obese person. Something is wrong with America’s food.

BRÆKING: Jack Dorsey spotted at Super Bowl wearing Bitcoin shirt

No one should be jailed for simply being a journalist. When will you pardon Julian Assange?

When your friend asks you for the 69th time “is now a good time to buy #bitcoin or do you think it will go lower?”

It is WILD that the President of the United States created a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve and the fiat price of BTC is just chillin’ at $86K… Anyone else have a feeling Bitcoin is about to melt faces? ✋

“Inflation is our friend.” Dan Aykroyd on SNL (1978)

XRP RIPPLE SHILLS IN DISBELIEF THAT TRUMP JUST EFFECTIVELY BANNED THEIR CBDC SHITCOIN GUESS YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST HELD BITCOIN INSTEAD OF BEING TOTALITARIAN SIMPS

Raise your hand if you want @Xpayments to enable #Bitcoin and the Lightning Network 🤚 @elonmusk

“Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Cut a fish into a quadrillion pieces and he’ll eat for a quadrillion days.” Samantha LaDuc on #Bitcoin

Raise your hand if you think @realDonaldTrump should make the national “digital asset” stockpile BITCOIN ONLY ✋

The people in charge of “protecting investors” and “regulating” #Bitcoin can’t even protect their own X account with basic 2FA… What a joke.

“I’m going to sell my #Bitcoin and buy back lower.”

Ripple is a CBDC shitcoin company. Pass it on.

JUST IN: BlackRock releases #Bitcoin training video to educate employees ahead of ETF launch

Hey @patrickbetdavid, how much did Ripple pay you to promote their shitcoin? It’s honestly impressive that you can have Michael Saylor on your show multiple times and still get sucked into centralized ‘crypto’ scams instead of just recommending people study Bitcoin… sad.

TREASURY SECRETARY SCOTT BESSENT SAYS THE U.S. WILL **NOT** BE BUYING ANY BITCOIN THEY WILL HOLD THE $15-$20 BILLION IN BITCOIN THEY ALREADY HAVE AND CONFISCATE MORE WEIRD, BECAUSE I WAS PROMISED A STRATEGIC BITCOIN RESERVE MAKES SENSE WHY BO HINES RESIGNED NOW, EH?

“Gold can’t achieve transaction finality without the help of a government or central party.” — @jackmallers calmly destroying Peter Schiff 🔥 #Bitcoin

WTF happened in 1971 and why did America get so fat?

Mother of god…

This is worse than HBO throwing away their brand recognition and calling it “MAX”

The government is literally stealing your life with taxes and fiat monetary inflation… As a conservative example: You start working at 20. You work until you’re 65. You pay +/- 33% of your income in taxes. The government takes 1/3 of your working life… They have stolen **15 YEARS** of your time, energy, and work. And for what? For roads? (LOLOLOL) For a broken education (indoctrination) system? For a medical system that wants to keep you sick and medicated? For the military industrial complex which gets rich off foreign forever wars you never agreed to? And while they are stealing 1/3 of your life, they are PRINTING MONEY OUT OF THIN AIR, stealing MORE of your time/energy/life force through the destruction of your purchasing power. The taxes you pay don’t even fund the government; an ever-growing pile of national debt does, fueled by money created out of thin air by the Federal Reserve System. The dollars in your bank account are worth less and less every year, as your purchasing power is systematically destroyed. I am grateful #Bitcoin exists so I can opt out of this nonsense and save the value of my time and energy in perfect money the government cannot debase or steal.

“There’s rich men north of Richmond, lord knows they all just wanna have total control… your dollar ain’t shit, & it’s taxed to no end, ‘cause the rich men north of Richmond.” — Oliver Anthony This is the best song I’ve heard in a long time. *Real* protest music. Goosebumps…

My 14-month-old son just looked me straight in the eyes and said “dad, with the interest expense on the national at over $1 trillion per year, isn’t the Fed’s only option to print their way out of this with the largest monetary debasement event in history?” What should I tell him?

“Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Cut a fish into a quadrillion pieces and he’ll eat for a quadrillion days.” Samantha LaDuc on #Bitcoin

Sir, you’re the sitting President. All you have to do is actually enforce the law.

Looks like @joerogan just published episode #2120, meaning his next episode is #2121… It is only fitting that episode 2121 be @saylor discussing #Bitcoin All those in favor 🤚

BRÆKING: CEO OF SHITCOIN COMPANY WHO SPENT YEARS SPREADING DISINFORMATION ABOUT BITCOIN NOW WANTS US ALL TO BE FRIENDS, CALLS MAXIMALISTS THE ENEMY. GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK.

It’s not rocket science: rich politicians shouldn’t spend taxpayer money to fly in private jets.

Now that @realDonaldTrump is President, I think it’s time for @elonmusk to bring back the #Bitcoin hashtag. RT if you agree. Like if you agree. Comment if you agree.

According to research from The People Who Caused the Problem by printing trillions of dollars out of thin air, it is not their fault and you should blame someone else… ffs what a joke…

Jack Dorsey weighs in on @SECGov’s “compromised” account tweeting about #Bitcoin ETF approval: “no way that was a hack” 👀

When your friend asks you for the 69th time “is now a good time to buy #bitcoin  or do you think it will go lower?”

EXACTLY 15 years ago today, Satoshi Nakamoto debated naming #Bitcoin "Titcoin" 🤯 I can't believe Satoshi even considered this! 🤣

“Gold can’t achieve transaction finality without the help of a government or central party.” — @jackmallers calmly destroying Peter Schiff 🔥 #Bitcoin

Imagine if the Trump family had used their massive platform to educate people about Bitcoin instead of launching shitcoins with huge insider allocations… I guess the desire to pump their own bags was too irresistible…

NOW DO YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT @AINTGOTTADOLLAR WAS SINGING ABOUT??

🔮 Dell Technologies is about to follow Saylor’s Microstrategy playbook and put #Bitcoin on its balance sheet. Michael Dell hasn’t tweeted about Bitcoin since 2015, when Dell accepted bitcoin. Let’s give him a warm welcome back.

Fixed it for you: Value of $1,000 invested a decade ago: Bitcoin: $434,885 Nvidia: $272,235 AMD: $47,190 Tesla: $29,890 Broadcom: $24,390 Microstrategy: $20,820 Netflix: $19,020 Amazon: $14,685 Microsoft: $9,150 Apple: $9,090 Meta: $7,470 Alphabet: $7,225 Adobe: $6,030 Salesforce: $5,620

Bitcoin is up over $65k per coin since “Finance Guy” tried to dunk on it at $54k. H…

Remember when Ripple paid Greenpeace $5 million petrodollars to fund an anti-Bitcoin propaganda campaign then @carlabitcoin and I dubbed their video and got more reach in a single post than their entire disinformation campaign? Good times…

I’m old enough to remember when Bitcoiners would roast anyone who created pump and dump shitcoins instead of defending them.

End capital gains taxes on #Bitcoin.

GLAD WE SPENT HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS OF DOLLARS ON NOTHING

Climate change doesn’t cause inflation. Central bankers printing money causes inflation. Don’t let them fool you. Study #Bitcoin

“I’m going to sell my bitcoin and buy back lower.”

“So, can we buy a house yet?”

#Bitcoin is up almost $20,000 per coin since “Finance Guy” smugly tweeted this one-day chart. H…

Yes, @PeterSchiff actually just made the claim that #Bitcoin isn’t scarce because you can divide them into satoshis 😂 As the old saying goes: “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Cut a fish into a 100 million pieces and he’ll eat for 100 million days.” Honestly kudos to @jackmallers for not breaking out in laughter.

Elon is posting about Bitcoin again. We are so fucking back. “That is why Bitcoin is based on energy: you can issue fake fiat currency, and every government in history has done so, but it is impossible to fake energy.”

If Microsoft buys #bitcoin before you buy bitcoin you failed.

HOT TAKE: Bitcoin in cold storage is better than a Bitcoin ETF.

THE FACT THAT THIS TRUMP BITCOIN STRATEGIC RESERVE EO IS NOT PUMPING BITCOIN STRAIGHT TO $420,696 CONFIRMS THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A GREATER RISK-ADJUSTED TIME TO BUY BITCOIN. 99% OF PEOPLE SIMPLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON. THIS IS YOUR OPPORTUNITY.

.@elonmusk can you confirm if the @SECGov account was actually hacked and reached out to Twitter Support? Or did someone at the SEC schedule their #Bitcoin ETF approval tweet a day early?

$1.69M Bitcoin top this cycle. Bookmark it.

When your friend asks you for the 69th time “is now a good time to buy #bitcoin  or do you think it will go lower?”

The #Bitcoin network just produced block number 800,000. 800,000 blocks without a central bank. 800,000 blocks without a government. 800,000 blocks without a CEO. 800,000 blocks without asking for permission.

Forgot about this incredible video of @AOC and @elonmusk that @mazemoore created. If you haven’t seen it, you are in for a real treat.

I’d just like to take a moment to thank @jackmallers for coining the term “Jeffrey Epstein’s Banker.” It’s funny because it’s true.

I hereby call on the @nytimes to STOP their print media business NOW. NYT murders trees to print newspapers at 27 locations which take a trip (by truck/plane), sometimes thousands of miles, burning fossil fuels & trees all the way. Let’s dive deeper 🧵 nytimes.com/2018/08/05/insid…

I HAVE PREPARED A TRAINING VIDEO FOR THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LEARN ABOUT BITCOIN

10 years from now, when #Bitcoin is at $58k, people will call you “lucky” for buying it at $58k today.

It’s funny because this is *exactly* how the Roman Empire thought…

If you LOVE gold and HATE Bitcoin then you NEED to watch this video…

Friendly reminder that Trump does not like #Bitcoin He is a fiat beneficiary, and should be treated as such.

What are the WORST #Bitcoin takes you’ve ever seen? I want to put together a video montage/dramatic reading… I’ll go first:

Munger vs @saylor on #Bitcoin I’ll let you decide who makes the better argument… “I'm not entitled to have an opinion on this subject unless I can state the arguments against my position better than the people who are supporting it.” — Charlie Munger

We will NEVER see bitcoin below $80k again. BOOKMARK IT.

Bitcoin is up almost 100% since “Finance Guy” tried to dunk on it at $54k H…

“So the whole government is just a money laundering operation?”

Best #Bitcoin meme I’ve seen in a long time. Well done, @BTCGandalf 👏

We will NEVER see Bitcoin below $80k again. THIS IS THE ENDGAME. BOOKMARK IT.

Bitcoin is up over $57,000 per coin since “Finance Guy” tried to dunk on it at $54k, a gain of over 100%. H…

Shoutout to @JoeSquawk for putting #Bitcoin price in perspective and clearly being fed up with anyone who ignores that “it’s outperformed every asset on the 1 year, 5 year, and 10 year.”

BRÆKING: France has arrested Michael Scott and his known associates at the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. Scott and his associates allegedly distributed paper products that allowed criminals to secretly communicate with each other.

The president of the United States cannot fire the Federal Reserve Chairman, because the Fed is a private bank cartel that controls the market for money. Study #Bitcoin

The moment when @TuckerCarlson realizes the GAME IS RIGGED while talking with @LukeGromen is absolutely incredible 🔥😂 “it's kind of like a rigged system, right? the government is issuing the debt, which is held in a specific currency, but that same government prints that currency.”

Switzerland is the only first world country in Europe.

Joe Biden will “gracefully bow out” of the election for “family reasons.” He will “step aside to give another candidate the best chance at defeating Trump and preserving Democracy.” Kamala will “step aside with Joe in solidarity.” Michelle Obama will become the Democratic Party’s Presidential candidate and Gavin Newsom will be her VP. The Obama-Newsom ticket will be hailed by the corporate media as “historic” and “our best chance at preserving Democracy.”

Peter, #Bitcoin is insanely simple to buy directly. But Boomers like you get confused easily and prefer to buy ETFs because it’s what you’ve done for 40 years and old habits die hard. The ETF isn’t for the younger generation, it’s for you.

I’m starting to think Mr Beast is just running lockdown psychology experiments for the government…

Okay now give Ross back his Bitcoin.

Michael Saylor CPAC FULL INTERVIEW about Bitcoin (but with the interviewer *REMOVED*) You’re welcome.

Twice as much #bitcoin is LOST as is currently controlled by institutions and governments. Only a tiny fraction of the world owns bitcoin, and after the halving in April, only 1.3125/21M @btc will be left to be mined. It might make sense to get some, just in case it catches on.

Wanna know how early we are? Half the people on #Bitcoin Twitter can’t even convince their own spouses Bitcoin is legit… (the other half still don’t have girlfriends).

If you want to keep your #Bitcoin safe from the government, just make a seed phrase using Jeffrey Epstein’s clients’ names. That way the FBI will never look for it.

Paul Krugman just retired from the New York Times. When Paul wrote “Bitcoin is Evil” for NYT in 2013, the price was $727. Today, #Bitcoin is at $0.1M, a 13,639% increase. Happy retirement, Paul!

Imagine you have a warm apple pie… You cut that pie into 69 pieces. Do you now have 69 apple pies? Or do you have the same single pie, cut into 69 pieces? I guess they didn’t reach you common knowledge and well, “MATH” when you studied economics.